Chore charts

[Storygirl]

We need to move to a system that will provide my teens with daily reminders of things they need to do, so that DH and I are not doing as much direct instruction, and so that they develop more responsibility and independence. We have some issues with EF, ADHD, and ASD here, so we need some things with a good level of support. We need reminders not only for weekly chores such as vacuuming, but also for daily responsibilities such as tooth brushing, cleaning out lunch boxes, putting personal items like instruments away properly, etc.

I'm curious what other people use. I've been thinking through options, and so far all of my ideas have some kind of drawback. This is what I've been thinking so far:

* Putting reminders on their phones. The drawback here is that they would need to be constantly checking their phones while working, which would be a distraction for them. Phones are sometimes such a distraction that we will have them plug them into the chargers and leave them there while they are doing tasks. We also limit their phone use before they get on the bus to go to school, so that would be an issue for morning tasks (the bus comes at 7:00 am). For these reasons, I'm hesitant to make the checklist dependent up on the phone. On the other hand, the phone is the system that is probably most likely to be useful to them when they are out on their own in college or wherever, so it would not be bad to get them used to it.

* Using a Fitbit style wrist monitor that has a reminder system built in. There has been a thread on the Learning Challenges board about this, and I think it has potential. But I'm not sure that my kids would be willing to wear one consistently. They are really picky about watches, jewelry, etc. I think that lost devises could be a problem, as well.

* Using a spiral bound 3x5 notecard notebook, in which we can create daily and weekly lists. I liked this idea so much that I bought them each one, but even though I think it would work for me, personally, I'm not sure it will work for my kids. They will lose them. Even if we have a designated spot to keep them, they will lose them.

*Using a whiteboard. This is possible, if we find one that is organized in a way that we can utilize well. I've got one that is a monthly calendar, which is not quite right. I had one that was set up like a chore chart once, but that one had some drawbacks that prevented us from using it. I would need a white board for upstairs and downstairs, if we did this.

* Using paper lists. I personally like paper, but it will get lost or add to our clutter problem if I make daily or weekly or monthly lists for four children.

Any other ideas that you have found work well? My kids do not have self-motivation in this area, so it needs to be something that I can monitor, but also something that will help to transfer ownership of their responsibilities to them in the long run.

I'd like to be able to have the list be the reminder, instead of DH and me being the reminders. So I'd like to be able to say, "Have you checked your list?" instead of "Have you brushed your teeth?"

Edited August 18, 2019 by Storygirl

[happi duck]

I've not heard of using *bound* 3x5 cards.  I like the 3x5 card system from the book Sidetracked Home Executives.  The cards go in a file box and are color coded for daily, weekly etc.

[Bambam]

I think I'd make a Word File/chart for each child. It would show daily and weekly chores. I might print them out and put them in a common location (not to be removed) such as the refrigerator front - add checkboxes so they mark off when each chore is complete. Or I would put them in the magnetic envelopes on the front of the frig and give them white board markers so they can mark off chores when they are done. 

I'd color code each child's chart maybe. Green at the start of the day, yellow before supper, blue after supper/before bed, weekly chores would be some other color? 

[Storygirl]

I think that is the book that I got the 3x5 card idea from. I thought a bound notebook would be less likely to be lost than individual cards. But the order of the cards can't be rearranged, so I'd have to set it up carefully from the beginning.

Two of my kids have carried their school schedules around with them on a 3x5 card. I made those for them, so that they can have their schedule handy, right in their pocket, instead of having to search through their backpacks for it, during the first week of school. They lose them, mangle them, and so on. On the first day of school this year, DD14 texted me at lunch to say that she had lost hers already. And then she texted to say that she had found it.

I think a file card box system would work for me for my household chores, but it has too many moving pieces for my kids.

[Storygirl]

Just now, Bambam said:

I think I'd make a Word File/chart for each child. It would show daily and weekly chores. I might print them out and put them in a common location (not to be removed) such as the refrigerator front - add checkboxes so they mark off when each chore is complete. Or I would put them in the magnetic envelopes on the front of the frig and give them white board markers so they can mark off chores when they are done. 

I'd color code each child's chart maybe. Green at the start of the day, yellow before supper, blue after supper/before bed, weekly chores would be some other color? 

Making something on the computer has appealed to me, because I can customize it. I had thought of printing things out and posting them on a bulletin board, but I hadn't figured out how to make it reusable, so that they can check things off. I'm sure I can probably find a wipe-able envelope thing to insert the papers into.

The challenge with this idea is getting them to check or cross things off. It's trickier than one might think, and will need a lot of monitoring in the beginning, but it's worth working on.

Being able to print things in different colors or using different colored paper has another advantage. Once I hang something up, it quickly becomes part of the scenery, and after awhile, they stop paying attention to it. If I change the color every once in awhile, it might help them remember to look at the board.

[Bambam]

9 minutes ago, Storygirl said:

Making something on the computer has appealed to me, because I can customize it. I had thought of printing things out and posting them on a bulletin board, but I hadn't figured out how to make it reusable, so that they can check things off. I'm sure I can probably find a wipe-able envelope thing to insert the papers into.

The challenge with this idea is getting them to check or cross things off. It's trickier than one might think, and will need a lot of monitoring in the beginning, but it's worth working on.

Being able to print things in different colors or using different colored paper has another advantage. Once I hang something up, it quickly becomes part of the scenery, and after awhile, they stop paying attention to it. If I change the color every once in awhile, it might help them remember to look at the board.

 

Can you just not reprint every week? I'm thinking you will do some customization - add doctor/dentist/ortho appointments on the list too? Wipe off plastic sleeve protectors are easy to find. 

As for the challenge to get them to check and cross things off. Make that part of your daily routine - when getting breakfast - ask them, "Did you check your checklist yet?", At every meal and maybe when they get home from school, "Have you checked your list?" Yes, this is part of your reminder service, but it should (hopefully) start building the habit of going to look at the list at those regular times. 

I completely understand about scenery and disappearing - which is why I suggested refrigerator. You go there several times a day. Let them decorate their own frames for their lists if that would help? Or you could just pick out different borders when you print them each week? But, to me, that seems like I'd have to keep up working to make it easy for them to check their lists. I'd want to just set the location and try to make them responsible for doing it. I don't know if this would work with the particular challenges or not, but I try to keep everything simple (big believer in the KISS principle!)

 

[Pen]

44 minutes ago, Storygirl said:

Making something on the computer has appealed to me, because I can customize it. I had thought of printing things out and posting them on a bulletin board, but I hadn't figured out how to make it reusable, so that they can check things off. I'm sure I can probably find a wipe-able envelope thing to insert the papers into.

 

Yes but when we tried that the inside paper tended to move.  Then checks were in wrong spot.  Consider laminating

Quote

The challenge with this idea is getting them to check or cross things off. It's trickier than one might think, and will need a lot of monitoring in the beginning, but it's worth working on.

Being able to print things in different colors or using different colored paper has another advantage. Once I hang something up, it quickly becomes part of the scenery, and after awhile, they stop paying attention to it. If I change the color every once in awhile, it might help them remember to look at the board.

 

 

For us, too much on one sheet was a problem.

 

probably having bathroom getting ready for day in bathroom by itself 

and similar other subroutines 

 

instead of a daily single paper which has teethbrushing listed twice (etc)  would have been less intimidating 

 

Edited August 18, 2019 by Pen

[MaeFlowers]

I have been thinking quite a bit about this and my ds 14. He is ADHD inattentive type and I completely understand the losing things, not see things, etc. I could not imagine giving him a 3x5 card or notebook, even with a box to contain them. I'd be getting the same texts.

I've always given him lists for daily work or sat and dictated his work to him while he made a list. Both worked well, but I've got to get him more self-reliant. I'm thinking about creating more generic lists for daily chores/work and putting them in erasable sleeves for him. Each day would have a different list/sleeve. I have some of these https://www.amazon.com/TYH-Supplies-10-Pack-Reusable-Assorted/dp/B01HN47UC6/ref=pd_bap_m_rp_8/137-3239101-1407469?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B01HN47UC6&pd_rd_r=8218479f-8df9-4cb2-80b6-46d97c86382f&pd_rd_w=o52uf&pd_rd_wg=N7NnK&pf_rd_p=c3219280-80f4-43e6-abee-1a8cf87bc0ee&pf_rd_r=2029MC7M5Y1Z4JZ48ADJ&psc=1&refRID=2029MC7M5Y1Z4JZ48ADJ

Honestly, I don't really want to do that. I want him to be more self-directed. Lists just become same song, different verse around here. Instead of asking if he did x chore, I end up asking and did you check your list. It feels exactly the same to me.

So, no answers here, lol. I'll be curious to hear others methods and ideas.

[happi duck]

Perhaps a new chart each week on a clipboard.  The clipboards could have a hook somewhere as their home but they could also be mobile for taking to where the chores happen and also put somewhere else as a reminder.  Might help them not become scenery.  (That always happens in my house!)

[Pen]

Btw if something has become a habit it doesn’t necessarily need to still have a check off spot.  

[Pen]

Also if you have kids who would prefer different systems, it doesn’t necessarily need to be the same for all of them.  

Maybe one would like 3x5 cards that fit in pocket and another would like a sheet of paper on a wall

[Storygirl]

33 minutes ago, Pen said:

Also if you have kids who would prefer different systems, it doesn’t necessarily need to be the same for all of them.  

Maybe one would like 3x5 cards that fit in pocket and another would like a sheet of paper on a wall

This is true! I think I'd like it to be the same for all of them, because that will be easiest for me if I have one way of doing things. Four kids times four different systems would equal one frazzled mom. But making everything the same can backfire, if the chosen system is a poor fit for someone.

[Storygirl]

58 minutes ago, happi duck said:

Perhaps a new chart each week on a clipboard.  The clipboards could have a hook somewhere as their home but they could also be mobile for taking to where the chores happen and also put somewhere else as a reminder.  Might help them not become scenery.  (That always happens in my house!)

A clipboard might work. Being able to carry it around does have some advantages. If I get brightly colored ones, they will be harder to lose.

Now I have an image of all four children industriously walking around with clipboards, checking things off neatly as they efficiently accomplish everything with excellent attitudes (yes, I am a bit of a dreamer 😂).

44 minutes ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

I haven’t used them, but just saw Erin Condren has some new nice customizable white boards if you are by chance an EC fan. 🙂 

Oooh. Interesting!!!

[Storygirl]

1 hour ago, CuriousMomof3 said:

I think that if you have a student who has made it to 14 without internalizing the routine of brushing teeth before bed, then a routine that involves checking a deck of cards isn't going to work.  For my kids, I think I'd want something color coded and bright hanging right where they could see it. 

Yes, the tooth brushing avoider is also the one with ASD. Plus ADHD. He needs checklists more than anyone, but it is the most challenging to get them to work for him.

[kiwik]

If the bus comes at 7 I would cut everything but getting dressed, cleaning teeth and eating from the morning routine (unless you have one or more that wet the bed and need to shower).  Everything else can be done the night before.  Can't help with charts though as they drive me crazy.

[Pen]

16 minutes ago, Storygirl said:

This is true! I think I'd like it to be the same for all of them, because that will be easiest for me if I have one way of doing things. Four kids times four different systems would equal one frazzled mom. But making everything the same can backfire, if the chosen system is a poor fit for someone.

 

Having them help work on their own systems could be a long term help for them.  Eventually they might shift from concept of “chore chart” to a planner or to do list

[Pen]

14 minutes ago, Storygirl said:

A clipboard might work. Being able to carry it around does have some advantages. If I get brightly colored ones, they will be harder to lose.

 

Let me know if that works please!  

 

 

[Storygirl]

40 minutes ago, kiwik said:

If the bus comes at 7 I would cut everything but getting dressed, cleaning teeth and eating from the morning routine (unless you have one or more that wet the bed and need to shower).  Everything else can be done the night before.  Can't help with charts though as they drive me crazy.

Yes, that is all we do in the mornings. They get up at 6:15, so we just have 45 minutes until they have to be out waiting for the bus. They even pick their clothes the night before. But we still have to do a lot of checking and prompting and reminders, which is really annoying for all concerned. I'm thinking a morning checklist would help.

In the mornings, three of the kids could probably get up and out the door with minimal input from DH and me. But the other one needs a lot of structure and guidance. We have a well established routine, but we'd like to move away from the parents running the routine, toward more independence.

I have a love-hate relationship with charts and checklists myself. I'm hoping we can make things run better here in this way, but it's so hard to predict what will work and what will not.

Edited August 18, 2019 by Storygirl

[Jentrovert]

Right now we have a checklist for each kid, placed in a picture frame and hung in their room. They use dry erase markers to write on the glass. They have a checklist for morning, and a second for evening. There are 7 or 8 items on each. 

It work great for about 2 weeks, and now, unfortunately, they do 2-3 of the items and will not just. look. at. the. darn. list. So I am always saying, go check your list. 

What works the best is for me to use my phone to set a timer every 5 min, that they have to turn off. When they turn off a timer, it's a reminder to get back to the list instead of whatever they've been distracted by. 

I'm listening in to get some ideas. 

[kbutton]

4 hours ago, Storygirl said:

We need reminders not only for weekly chores such as vacuuming, but also for daily responsibilities such as tooth brushing, cleaning out lunch boxes, putting personal items like instruments away properly, etc.

I would visual cues for as many of the physical tasks as possible. So, maybe have a literal picture of what you want them to do with lunch box items, and post that picture. Then your lists might be able to have fewer steps. If they need a picture plus steps, both of those things can "live" where the task is, but the overall checklist of chores can be someplace else.

Some of the kids might prefer to put the pictures on their phones as well as have the picture available. We've chosen to take pictures of certain cabinet interiors where items fit kind of snugly and are difficult to get to fit just right. We have two drawers for pots, for instance, and if you put too many big pots together, they don't fit, so the pictures show which ones go in which drawer to make it all come out okay and show which ones stack on top of each other to fit when you close the drawer. 

My son's room organization is being simplified (again), and we're planning to use pictures of what it should look like all cleaned up as a reminder for him. If necessary, we'll print out pictures for each individual area--he can literally have a picture for what belongs on each shelf if that will help. He really tends to wander off task, but he likes that pictures and things make him more independent. Independence is motivating to him.

4 hours ago, Storygirl said:

Two of my kids have carried their school schedules around with them on a 3x5 card. I made those for them, so that they can have their schedule handy, right in their pocket, instead of having to search through their backpacks for it, during the first week of school. They lose them, mangle them, and so on. On the first day of school this year, DD14 texted me at lunch to say that she had lost hers already. And then she texted to say that she had found it.

So, why doesn't your DD14 just take a picture of her card? I assume if she can text, then it's not a problem with being allowed to access her phone at school, unless it's only at lunch (which would make sense). If she has it on her phone and lunch is her only option, at least she can reproduce her own card. 

35 minutes ago, Jentrovert said:

What works the best is for me to use my phone to set a timer every 5 min, that they have to turn off. When they turn off a timer, it's a reminder to get back to the list instead of whatever they've been distracted by. 

We use lots of timers for this reason.

[Storygirl]

Ha! She could take a picture of her schedule. I think the kids are allowed to have their phones out in the hallways, even though some teachers don't allow them to have them in their classes. This is the first year that my kids have had phones at the beginning of the school year, so it didn't occur to me, but you are right!

I did make a copy of it before giving it to her, just in case, so I have a back up. She might not need it any more this week.

Using pictures on the chart is a good idea. Some of my kids are more apt to pay attention to a picture than words, so it would be good to include both.

Edited August 19, 2019 by Storygirl

[Pen]

4 hours ago, Storygirl said:

I think that is the book that I got the 3x5 card idea from. I thought a bound notebook would be less likely to be lost than individual cards. But the order of the cards can't be rearranged, so I'd have to set it up carefully from the beginning.

 

You could use a rings type rather than spiral so you could change up order

4 hours ago, Storygirl said:

Two of my kids have carried their school schedules around with them on a 3x5 card. I made those for them, so that they can have their schedule handy, right in their pocket, instead of having to search through their backpacks for it, during the first week of school. They lose them, mangle them, and so on. On the first day of school this year, DD14 texted me at lunch to say that she had lost hers already. And then she texted to say that she had found it.

 

Might be helpful  for the dc to make her own — perhaps 3 or 4 copies.  One for locker, one in backpack, one spare at home.  Or to go to school office where she can probably be told where she needs to go and get another copy of schedule 

 

[catz]

I see your kids attend PS.  But putting items on my kids homeschool to do list was helpful.  And during the summer we put them on google calendar with reminders.  

And that said, I still have to nag.  But it also reminds me of that stuff they need to get done.  My 18 year old is pretty well trained now.  Still working on the newly 15 year old.  

[Ottakee]

I am mom of 3 young adults with a mix of congnitive impairments, ADD, ADHD, and FAS.

I am going back to paper lists...taped to the counter (otherwise the lists walk away, get lost, etc).

Mine had sections for morning, afternoon, and before bed.  I detailed brush teeth and put on deo, put dirty clothes in hamper, etc as well as their daily chores.

I had a list for M through F...1/2 page for each day...so 3 pages per kid a week.  Chores specific to a certain day of the week (like trash to the road) were on there.

Each list had a few black lines where I could put in chores specific to that day/week.

If I get one up and running again I will post a picture.  They really did help and I would just ask...did you check your list...which to them was SO much better than me nagging about each item.

[HS Mom in NC]

My kids don't get to have their electronics or any free time until I have checked that their chores were done correctly.

I divided the chores into into 4 lists: Mom, oldest daughter, middle daughter, younger daughter.  (Everyone 6 and older is assigned chores to do independently, everyone 3-5 works beside Mom under her training learning how to do the chores.) It's 2 lists now that there's only 1 let at home. We brainstormed together which items go in which lists. We rotate the names every month. Younger kids have a checklist and wet erase marker listing each step for each chore until they have it down. I print it out and put it in a plastic page protector.  This helps keep them on track and it lets them know exactly what I expect.  Cleaning a bathroom is quite a few steps and it can take some kids longer to master them.

We look at outside activity schedules so we know which days the weekly chores need to be assigned.  Daily chores are obviously done daily and at least 1 weekly chore is listed several days a week.  Sometimes it makes more sense to assign more than one weekly chore on a given day based on the schedule.

My experience has been that you get what you explicitly state, inspect, and enforce. At my house kids do chores immediately after school.  If they do something else they lose privileges for the next day: screens and socializing. If they aren't civil about doing their schoolwork and chores, that's a day of lost privileges. If they don't do it them correctly the first time they redo them.  If they still don't get it right or if they develop a pattern of not getting it right the first time, they get extra chores, often from a sibling's list if the sibling is getting things done correctly and on time, because I tell them, "You obviously need more practice." I also make it  clear that I have no problem at all if they keep accumulating lot privileges days that stretch into a week or more.