I'm not the mom I wanted to be because I'm a tired, cranky, word that rhymes with

[imeverywoman]

itch. I have a fantastic husband who has an unbelievable job. But I'm alone. A LOT. I parent alone mostly.

 

When I share my day with him, he lays down the law, when what I really need is some moral support, encouragment, sympathy even.

 

Tonight he came home from his high stress job, ate, and passed out on the sofa. Thank goodness that my folks were over or it would have been another night alone.

 

But I'm a witch. "Did you practice piano? No t.v. during the week. Is your schoolwork done? What do you mean what should I do? Look in your planner. Five minutes until bed. Three minutes until lights out. Lights out. What do you mean you haven't brushed your teeth yet?" Man, I want to tell myself to shut the *BLEEP* up. I can't even stand the sound of myself talking.

 

I have a child who questions EVERY freakin' thing. And I do mean EVERY THING!!! I want nothing more than to throttle her sometimes. But I don't. And that's because God is great, and someone, somewhere is praying for me.

 

But my life is good. My home is stable. My marriage is solid. My husband has a good job. My parents are alive. My family is healthy.

 

Me? I am drained. But thankful. Still, really, really drained.

 

Thanks for the vent.

[WTMindy]

But my life is good. My home is stable. My marriage is solid. My husband has a good job. My parents are alive. My family is healthy.

 

Me? I am drained. But thankful. Still, really, really drained.

 

.

 

This describes me this evening!! I have a ds that drains me!! Thankful!! But drained. yup!!!! (But, my dh is around more, so I don't have that as an excuse.)

[Jean in Newcastle]

I've had to explain explicitly to my dh that sometimes I just want to share and feel supported and sometimes I actually want him to offer some advice to fix it. So now when I vent he tentatively asks me "Do you want to share or do you want a fix?" (Wait- that didn't come out right but you know what I mean!)

[sunshine]

itch. I have a fantastic husband who has an unbelievable job. But I'm alone. A LOT. I parent alone mostly.

 

When I share my day with him, he lays down the law, when what I really need is some moral support, encouragment, sympathy even.

 

Tonight he came home from his high stress job, ate, and passed out on the sofa. Thank goodness that my folks were over or it would have been another night alone.

 

But I'm a witch. "Did you practice piano? No t.v. during the week. Is your schoolwork done? What do you mean what should I do? Look in your planner. Five minutes until bed. Three minutes until lights out. Lights out. What do you mean you haven't brushed your teeth yet?" Man, I want to tell myself to shut the *BLEEP* up. I can't even stand the sound of myself talking.

 

I have a child who questions EVERY freakin' thing. And I do mean EVERY THING!!! I want nothing more than to throttle her sometimes. But I don't. And that's because God is great, and someone, somewhere is praying for me.

 

But my life is good. My home is stable. My marriage is solid. My husband has a good job. My parents are alive. My family is healthy.

 

Me? I am drained. But thankful. Still, really, really drained.

 

Thanks for the vent.

 

 

Big Fat :grouphug: for you

[Doran]

...I'd be willing to bet every single mother here can relate to your post in some fashion. You have a perfect screen name!! ;)

 

 

Here's the good news. Tomorrow is a new day. It may not be any different, but perhaps it will seem so. I'm sending you seven reasons to smile. Go ahead. Wait for them! :001_smile:

 

1. A hot cup of something good to drink at breakfast time

2. A hug or a giggle from one or more of your little people

3. The curve of your cheekbones when you're smiling at yourself in the mirror

4. A roof over your head, soft pillows, and food enough to fill your bellies (that's a bonus round...three in one!)

5. A husband who works hard every day to provide you and the kids a chance to be home.

6. Children who are smart enough ask questions all the time

7. The way the daylight shines into your kitchen

 

 

Here's hoping tomorrow will feel a little brighter.

 

:grouphug:

[OnTheBrink]

:grouphug::grouphug:

[kalanamak]

i I can't even stand the sound of myself talking.

 

I have a child who questions EVERY freakin' thing. And I do mean EVERY THING!!! I want nothing more than to throttle her sometimes.

 

I have two comments. One, to become someone else, act the part. Do the chirpy happy voice even if you are still telling the child to do a,b,c.

 

Two, Raising a Thinking Child. This throws the questions back on them.

[Tanya in KS]

There are times that I HATE schooling the kiddos now. I have been doing this for 12 years now and realize that I have a 2 yo that hasn't even started!!!!

 

I am alone most of the time as hubby job does not allow him to be home much. So I do the shopping, errands, schooling, doctors, boys scouts, violin lessons, etc, etc... all alone. It is DRAINING to say the least.

 

I don't have any answers but I do know that you are not alone in how you feel.

 

:grouphug:

[LG Gone Wild]

itch. I have a fantastic husband who has an unbelievable job. But I'm alone. A LOT. I parent alone mostly.

 

When I share my day with him, he lays down the law, when what I really need is some moral support, encouragment, sympathy even.

 

Tonight he came home from his high stress job, ate, and passed out on the sofa. Thank goodness that my folks were over or it would have been another night alone.

 

But I'm a witch. "Did you practice piano? No t.v. during the week. Is your schoolwork done? What do you mean what should I do? Look in your planner. Five minutes until bed. Three minutes until lights out. Lights out. What do you mean you haven't brushed your teeth yet?" Man, I want to tell myself to shut the *BLEEP* up. I can't even stand the sound of myself talking.

 

I have a child who questions EVERY freakin' thing. And I do mean EVERY THING!!! I want nothing more than to throttle her sometimes. But I don't. And that's because God is great, and someone, somewhere is praying for me.

 

But my life is good. My home is stable. My marriage is solid. My husband has a good job. My parents are alive. My family is healthy.

 

Me? I am drained. But thankful. Still, really, really drained.

 

Thanks for the vent.

 

 

I get you loud and clear, sister. It's worse when you've started the day that way.

[swellmomma]

I get you loud and clear, sister. It's worse when you've started the day that way.

 

:iagree: that is the point I am at now. I keep thinking if I could only get a solid night's sleep I could recoup some of my energy, but that doesn't look like it is going to happen. I haven't slept through the night in 10 years, my oldest never has and can not be trusted to be up alone, so if he is up I am up, baby still gets up 2-3 times a night. It has gotten to the point where I dread waking up and facing the day sometimes because I have no energy left in me to even start the day.

[Amy in Orlando]

You'll get through this. Like kalanmak said, sometimes you just have to fake it. I spent my first 14 years as a parent mostly being a single parent due to dh's schedule. It's frustrating and hard and exhausting. Did I mention exhausting? (((()))) You can do this.

[joannqn]

I couldn't put up with parenting alone. It wasn't fun at the time, but I made sure my husband understood that his children needed HIM more than money. That I needed HIM more than money. That we did not feel loved when he worked overtime and that we did not like him working overtime or being too cranky or tired to spend quality time with us. He eventually understood and now we get plenty of daddy time and help.

[Sweetpeach]

When I have an itch that now amount of scratching will relieve, it's time for self-care. Usually, I'm itchy when I'm feeling overworked, stretched, pressed and haven't taken any time for myself. I'm generally very itchy during my RagingPMSMachine days . . . so I take my itch and apply lots of love, self-care and rest. A smoothy, a cup of tea, a good book . . . anything so that the itch doesn't get out of control and slime my lovely family. I've long learned not to expect my dh to attend to my itchiness - it's something I have to do for me.

 

Warmly, T

[Halftime Hope]

:iagree: that is the point I am at now. I keep thinking if I could only get a solid night's sleep I could recoup some of my energy, but that doesn't look like it is going to happen. I haven't slept through the night in 10 years, my oldest never has and can not be trusted to be up alone, so if he is up I am up, baby still gets up 2-3 times a night. It has gotten to the point where I dread waking up and facing the day sometimes because I have no energy left in me to even start the day.

 

Wow, swellmomma! You've probably got something going on with ds that is a medical need or....something! But, goodness, look at your paragraph. Not sleeping through the night in 10 years? That's a recipe for a short-lived mama. What can you do to get some respite care for ds, so you can recharge? Have you got friends/family/dh, anyone who could give you a night off?

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

 

Val, who is starting to learn to say "no" for herself. :)

[linders]

First, :grouphug:! But no great advice.

 

My DH has been working 3,000 miles away for the past 7 months, with 6 long weekends home so far. We have no family in the area, so I do it all, all the time, and one DS sounds rather like your child. And no book that I've read can change his underlying personality, creative and loving but easily distracted. It's relentless, isn't it? Sometimes I feel more like a drill sargeant than a mommy!

 

I just want to go to the grocery store. By myself. And know that someone else put them to bed while I was gone!

 

Hang in there.

[laughing lioness]

Another:grouphug: for ya! My dh has been gone a Lot during our childrearing lives - at one point he lived in another town 4 days a week (for work). It does get to be a drag, especially with strong willed kids. Have you read Cynthia Tobias Ulrichs, 'The Way they Learn?" There is a chapter on the strong willed child. It REALLY helped me understand one of my kids- which is probably why she is still alive today:001_smile: -that, and God, as you mentioned.

Can you take a break? Watch educational dvd's while you re-group?

Also, I tell my dh: I am venting. I don't need you to fix anything. I just need to talk out the turmoil I am feeling. or I need help. I need you to fix this, fix the kid, come up with a solution. It really helps him to know what I am needing.

[swellmomma]

Wow, swellmomma! You've probably got something going on with ds that is a medical need or....something! But, goodness, look at your paragraph. Not sleeping through the night in 10 years? That's a recipe for a short-lived mama. What can you do to get some respite care for ds, so you can recharge? Have you got friends/family/dh, anyone who could give you a night off?

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

 

Val, who is starting to learn to say "no" for herself. :)

 

There is a lot medically going on with him, we have been getting him help professionally for years and a lot has improved, but his sleep isn't one of them. We don't qualify for respite care because he is not considered severe enough to get it. My family can only handle 1 child at a time typically, which means even if I get rid of him for the night I still have 3 more here, including the baby waking through the night. There is times I have sent him for a sleep over at grandma's etc to get a bit of a break but when he gets home we have a few days of major readjustment(raging) that often don't make it worth it. Once he is old enough I will look into sleep aids if he continues waking in the night, but for now I just do what I do, and get grumpier and more drained. I have started taking vitamin B12 which is starting to help, hopefully baby will start sleeping through and I will be down to waking only once a night instead of 3-4 times.

[LibraryLover]

My dh is 3k miles aways for the whole week. Left Sunday.

 

Of course, I am such a witch, that I am selfish. We had food delievered in last night, fi.

 

Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. I've also had a housekeeper at times, which is a huge help.

 

Right now, I am ignoring the 3 year old messing up the 9 yr old's puzzle. I told my schooled 9th grader to take the bus home today, and I told the hs'd teen to ignore the bickering of the younger two, it just seems to not help at all. lol . :auto:

 

ETA, I put the 3 yr old down for nap. Now it's totally quiet. Why didn't I think of that before?

Edited November 18, 2008 by LibraryLover