Do men shake your hand?

[vonfirmath]

On 9/14/2018 at 2:56 PM, extendedforecast said:

I was going to say the exact same thing down to the limp shake. I wonder if it’s a regional thing - we are in the Houston area.

 

Odd. I'm in Austin and have had no problems with men not shaking my hand, or even limp shakes.

[alisoncooks]

Those that don't have opportunities for shaking hands  -- do you go to church?  Are you a hugger instead?   I am *not* a hugger...so I shake a lot of hands at church. It's not especially formal, in that setting; it's just that I'm saying "hello" and prefer to not attach a hug to my greeting. Usually the handshake fills that gap. 

[HS Mom in NC]

I always stand up (if seated) extend my hand for a handshake when I meet a new person or at the end of a business situation when I thank them.  The exception was the Muslim jeweler who fixed my wedding ring.  I was careful not to touch him when I handed it to him and picked it up because I thought I remembered that devout (Is that the right word?) Muslim men don't make physical contact of any kind with women they are not closely related to or married to. 

My oldest daughter is a birth and postpartum doula and was embarrassed that she extended her hand to the husband at the consultation with an Orthodox Jewish couple.  She reminded herself several times before she left that she should remember not to do that, but cultural norms run deep and she did it automatically at first meeting.  He was very nice about it stepping back and saying in a friendly tone, "I don't shake hands, but it's very nice to finally meet you." I'm sure he has to deal with that all the time.

[marbel]

1 hour ago, Homeschool Mom in AZ said:

<snip>
My oldest daughter is a birth and postpartum doula and was embarrassed that she extended her hand to the husband at the consultation with an Orthodox Jewish couple.  She reminded herself several times before she left that she should remember not to do that, but cultural norms run deep and she did it automatically at first meeting.  He was very nice about it stepping back and saying in a friendly tone, "I don't shake hands, but it's very nice to finally meet you." I'm sure he has to deal with that all the time.

That is a great way to handle it.  More people should take that attitude rather than be offended.  

Someone upthread asked about church.  The greeters are my church extend their hands to all who walk in the door.  I have refused the handshake occasionally when I've been sick; it hasn't been a problem; I just put my hands up and say "not today, cold brewing" or something like that. But it is easy because I know everyone there; still, if I preferred not to shake hands I'd come up with some way to refuse politely. When I've greeted, a few people have said "thank you for the warm welcome, I don't shake hands" or similar. I love it when little kids are greeting with their parents - some of them take the hand-shaking very seriously. 

[Paige]

I prefer men to wait for me to extend my hand. Sometimes I just don't feel like shaking hands. I will if the hand is presented, but I like it to be my choice. I dislike cheek kissing and hugs too. Dh's family is Italian and there's a lot of cheek kissing and hugging and it's taken a while to get somewhat comfortable with that. 

If someone tried to pat me on the head I'd be tempted to bite them. ?

[QueenCat]

I really don't see men who handshake not shaking women's hands. It's not the norm in any of the places (mostly South) that I've lived in over the past couple of decades. Women and men both extend their hands for a shake. I'd be offended if a man shook dh's and not mine. I'd find it downright rude. I get the religious views to a point but I'm not lesser than my husband. Don't shake his if you aren't going to shake mine. 

[mumto2]

Hand shaking is pretty normal for me  and I much prefer it to having my cheek kissed.  I suspect I initiate it when I suspect I am going to be kissed at!  

[poppy]

11 hours ago, alisoncooks said:

Those that don't have opportunities for shaking hands  -- do you go to church?  Are you a hugger instead?   I am *not* a hugger...so I shake a lot of hands at church. It's not especially formal, in that setting; it's just that I'm saying "hello" and prefer to not attach a hug to my greeting. Usually the handshake fills that gap. 

 

In church, my daughter has learned to fist bump rather than handshake. It is more comfortable for her (autism + other issues but none 'visible' / explicit based on her appearance). 
If there is an adult who minds, they haven't expressed that to her yet. She is 10.

[solascriptura]

Hmm.. I never really noticed because I find myself sticking my hand out first.  I will usually look men straight in the eye, smile, and stick my hand out.  I don't give them a chance to overlook me.  haha.  

[Amber in SJ]

I don't like to be touched by strangers so I am not going to offer, pretty much ever.  I don't like to be hugged or kissed by non-family people either.  It is weird in my family of origin because they are huggers & cheek kissers amongst immediate family, and Dh's family is huggy & kissy with total strangers, like, a full body squeeze and rock back and forth and a kiss on the lips from the men & women the first time you meet them.  I freaked out the first time I met them all.

As for hand shaking when we go to church the Bishop (think pastor) will shake hands with everyone in the pew; husband, wife, kids, etc.  I know it is coming & I take a deep breath and roll with it, but I will never be the initiator.  

Dh shakes hands & bro-hugs everyone he knows as a greeting.  He has special handshakes with the scouts or the teens in our Sunday School class.  They love it.  

So yes, I do notice there are those who do not stick their hand out to shake mine even if they have just shaken (shook?) hands with dh, but I think I am putting off a "No Thank You!" vibe.

Amber in SJ

 

[Rosie_0801]

54 minutes ago, Amber in SJ said:

Dh's family is huggy & kissy with total strangers, like, a full body squeeze and rock back and forth and a kiss on the lips from the men & women the first time you meet them. 

 

WHAT? :svengo: 

 

Oh my goodness. That svengo emoticon doesn't work any more. I need it. I need it BADLY!!

[Teacher Mom]

No, everyone hugs me. I don't know why -- maybe I look like a toy bear or something. Doesn't matter where they are from or how long I have known them, I get hugged. My husband finds it hilarious; he makes bets with me on how soon I will be hugged at the airport or when we are shopping. Never fails -- almost like I have no personal space warnings. 

[Ausmumof3]

Church is the only real hand shaking context in my life right now and I generally have so many armfuls of stuff and children draped around me that I settle for a small wave on the way past.  I’m not a huge fan of shaking hands anyway it just seems kinda gross to me.

yeah I have issues ...