Boys! How to handle attending a princess party (sort of funny)

[battlemaiden]

Tomorrow is my 3yr old daughter's joint birthday party. My friend's little daughter is turning 2, and we decided to have a joint "party" at Farrells (an ice cream parlor). The theme is princess, and it will only be our families and two other little girls with whom we're both friends.

 

Honestly, this was both us moms way of having a party without doing a party, kwim?

 

My 5 yr old son is being such a mule. He does NOT want to have anything to do with princess'. :glare: He won't even entertain the idea. I have told him in every way I know how that it isn't about him, it is about honoring is sister and he needs to go and celebrate with the family.

 

I can't leave him home. I'm NOT paying a babysitter because he is stubborn. And I don't want a sour puss at the party.

 

How would you handle this? I have some ideas, but I want to glean your kernels of wisdom first.

 

Thanks.

 

Jo

[Parrothead]

I'd buy him his own stack of paper plates and a few boy party favors. For about $5.00 you can have him a boy station at the princess party.

 

His paper plates can be used for special occasions or for an attaboy.

[chiguirre]

Well, as a mom of a boy who takes dance classes, I've dealt with this a lot. I suggest a dollar store sword and a paper crown or aluminum foil helmet. Your princesses will need knights to protect their feast :D.

[Blessedfamily]

What if you told him he was going as your helper. That way, he'd still be honoring/helping his sister but not have to do anything too princess-like. 5 yr olds like to feel sort of in charge anyway?

[Karen in CO]

He can be a knight. Or a prince, but knight has a much cooler costume. Sword, maybe a dragon. Princesses need a knight. My dd has young male friends that we have invited to princess parties and tea parties. They don't have a problem with it as long we we make sure that we treat them like boys or knight while they are there and not girls or pricesses.

[Alice]

I was going to also suggest that he be a knight. I have a 5 yr old boy who is ok "playing princess" when his friends who are girls come over if he can be the knight and have several swords. :)

[mcconnellboys]

When my oldest son turned 6, he wanted to invite lots of class mates and friends, both boys and girls. I was having a pirate party. The girls were not too enthused. So instead, I had a 'pirate and princess' birthday party and everyone was happy in their own personal dress up attire, LOL. They all still hunted for treasure, and played all the games. I guess it was just about personal expression.

[kokotg]

A five year old turning down ice cream?!

 

Maybe he could bring along a (boy) friend and not actually come "to the party" but just be there to hang out with his friend and eat some ice cream? Or tell him you need him to be the "party assistant" and help you run things? Basically, make it so that he's not a party attendant, he's a big brother who's little sister is having a princess party.

[KJB]

and in line with the idea of giving him a job to do, maybe he could be the photographer. My kids will do anything with me if I let them use my camera! Can you get him a disposable one so he won't mess yours up?

 

(I just let my kids use mine, but I'm insane like that. :D )

 

Happy Birthday to sweet 3 yo dd!

 

(I had to add...this is really funny! Good for him! Princesses....YUCK! LOL!)

Edited November 15, 2008 by KJB

[abbeyej]

I'm so cruel. I would offer the knight costume and a position as "helper", but I would also make it *very* clear that rudeness to me or his sister (in the form of ugliness about going to the party or sulking while there, etc) would result in swift and severe punishment (including, but not limited to, losing some precious privilege of his own). There are times when you just have to do stuff you don't care to do, especially for the sake of someone else.

 

I would make it clear that the options here were:

1) Go to the party, attempt to enjoy the ice cream and take advantage of my generosity in attempting to make it more pleasant for him (knight costume of some sort if he chose, helper position, etc)

2) Go to the party, make himself miserable, and be punished for rudeness and disrespect

 

Going to the party is *not* a choice. Misery? Totally his call.

 

;)

 

But as I said. I'm just mean...

[T Baer]

He can be a knight. Or a prince, but knight has a much cooler costume. Sword, maybe a dragon. Princesses need a knight. My dd has young male friends that we have invited to princess parties and tea parties. They don't have a problem with it as long we we make sure that we treat them like boys or knight while they are there and not girls or pricesses.

this might help him

[Scarlett]

I'm so cruel. I would offer the knight costume and a position as "helper", but I would also make it *very* clear that rudeness to me or his sister (in the form of ugliness about going to the party or sulking while there, etc) would result in swift and severe punishment (including, but not limited to, losing some precious privilege of his own). There are times when you just have to do stuff you don't care to do, especially for the sake of someone else.

 

I would make it clear that the options here were:

1) Go to the party, attempt to enjoy the ice cream and take advantage of my generosity in attempting to make it more pleasant for him (knight costume of some sort if he chose, helper position, etc)

2) Go to the party, make himself miserable, and be punished for rudeness and disrespect

 

Going to the party is *not* a choice. Misery? Totally his call.

 

;)

 

But as I said. I'm just mean...

 

I'm with you.

 

My ds is 8 1/2 and he has never cared much if something is intended for girls or not. If he likes it, he likes it. He only recently decided pink is not his favorite color any more...I think he did fold to societal pressure on that one..;) A year ago he went to a tea party---mostly girls with my son and maybe a boy or two more. He was totally into it. He even insisted on having one of the boas that all the girls were given. He still has it in his room with all his stuffed animals. I've never understood this early seperation of children by sexes- Personally I think it doesn't generally come naturally. I think our society is full of boy stuff vs girl stuff and the grown-ups reinforce those difference.

 

Some events that boys are strongly discourgaged from attending---weddings, baby showers, just mystify me. Why are weddings and baby showers non boyish? Women don't get married and give birth without men. I dunno...just bugs me. I strongly encourage my son to be involved in whatever he wants without regard to what is considered normal in our weird society.

[JudoMom]

I'm so cruel. I would offer the knight costume and a position as "helper", but I would also make it *very* clear that rudeness to me or his sister (in the form of ugliness about going to the party or sulking while there, etc) would result in swift and severe punishment (including, but not limited to, losing some precious privilege of his own). There are times when you just have to do stuff you don't care to do, especially for the sake of someone else.

 

I would make it clear that the options here were:

1) Go to the party, attempt to enjoy the ice cream and take advantage of my generosity in attempting to make it more pleasant for him (knight costume of some sort if he chose, helper position, etc)

2) Go to the party, make himself miserable, and be punished for rudeness and disrespect

 

Going to the party is *not* a choice. Misery? Totally his call.

 

;)

 

But as I said. I'm just mean...

 

I'm joining you in the mean corner.

[Danestress]

I would not make him participate. I would remind him that back in the "Princess" Days, no one really expected men to do more than show up, spend a few minutes being polite, and then disappear to have a drink and smoke a cigar.

 

So I would make a special "gentleman's" table for him if he absolutely has to go, that would include a really scary weapon, a candy cigar (do they still sell those?) and ear plugs.

 

I honestly can't blame him for not wanting to go.

 

When DS was in kindergarten, he was forced in school to participate in a musical that he felt was heavy on the feminine influences (and it was). I have half an hour of video tape of all the children singing and dancing, and him standing on the stage with his arms crossed, staring at the floor, enduring. We talked and talked about it ahead of time, but you can't talk a five year old boy out of hating Princess stuff.

 

If there were an easy way to leave him out, I would. My son is now the most cordial young man. He really actually likes girls very much and treats them nicely and is well loves by women young and old because he is so personable and sweet. So I say leave him out of it if you can. It won't make him grow up to scorn women. I promise.

[Kathy in MD]

I'm with you.

 

Some events that boys are strongly discourgaged from attending---weddings, baby showers, just mystify me. Why are weddings and baby showers non boyish? Women don't get married and give birth without men. I dunno...just bugs me. I strongly encourage my son to be involved in whatever he wants without regard to what is considered normal in our weird society.

 

So how did I get a male chauvinist pig for a son????????

[lovemyboys]

I'm so cruel. I would offer the knight costume and a position as "helper", but I would also make it *very* clear that rudeness to me or his sister (in the form of ugliness about going to the party or sulking while there, etc) would result in swift and severe punishment (including, but not limited to, losing some precious privilege of his own). There are times when you just have to do stuff you don't care to do, especially for the sake of someone else.

 

I would make it clear that the options here were:

1) Go to the party, attempt to enjoy the ice cream and take advantage of my generosity in attempting to make it more pleasant for him (knight costume of some sort if he chose, helper position, etc)

2) Go to the party, make himself miserable, and be punished for rudeness and disrespect

 

Going to the party is *not* a choice. Misery? Totally his call.

 

;)

 

But as I said. I'm just mean...

 

Gotta agree with you, Abbey.

 

Dc here and I have had this talk on a couple of occasions. The "big picture" is that you're honoring this person/situation and it's up to you how you choose to behave and feel, but you're not allowed to ruin it for others.

 

Love the idea of the knight's role or the assistant. And there is ice cream after all.

 

Dc here were quite concerned last summer about a Hannah Montana party that two friends were throwing -- fortunately, it was a pool party so that swayed them. (Turns out that the birthday girls were telling boys that everyone would be putting on pink HM wigs to sing. :tongue_smilie:)

 

Happy celebrating.

[Starr]

I bet he can't keep his mad at an icecream parlour. :)

[Danestress]

I have all boys, so I guess I haven't dealt with this. But my boys were recently at a party that had a sports theme. The guests were all boys, and the birthday boys' sisters weren't there. I think the parents wanted to let the guys have a fun "guy party" and I am sure they also celebrated the birthday as a family so the girls were probably included in a little cake cutting and gift opening. That seems okay to me - it doesn't seem like a big deal to not always include siblings that are seperated by age and gender.

 

I do agree that if he has to go, he has to act nice. If he must, he has to rise to the occasion. But I really don't understand why he should have to go as long as he is generally sweet with his sister and happy to give her a birthday hug and kiss or make her a card and otherwise demonstrate some recognition of her big day.