In things only I would do...

[ktgrok]

Wondering what ADHD looks like? It looks like staying up late and getting up early to make sure you have all the documents you need to take to the tag office 90 minutes away , so that your ex in laws can transfer the title of the car they are giving your son to you and him. Printing out all the insurance paperwork, printing out insurance cards, filling out the transfer of title form and printing it (twice, actually). Making sure EVERYTHING is in your diaper bag. Making sure you put your wallet right in the bag after taking it out so that you can't forget it. Focusing VERY hard to remember the birthday gift for your mother (she lives in that area, which is half way between ex inlaw's house and my house), a bag of toys for the baby in the car, bathing suits for everyone so we can swim at my mom's, diapers/wipes/change of clothes for the baby, the cooler my son wanted me to bring to him (he was already at my mom's house), a sippy cup for the baby, snacks, etc. Then realizing you need to take several trips out to the car so you (idiotically) decide to take the stuff you might forget first, and leave the diaper bag for last since you would never ever forget that (it doubles as my purse of course). Only to NOT remember the diaper bag. I was an hour away and almost to my mom's when I realized it. ALL the paperwork, my license, my wallet, debit/credit cards, diapers, wipes, sippy cup, etc were in there. 

I almost cried. 

Called my mom and told her I'd be there soon, could she please run to publix and pick up diapers/wipes/and a sippy cup. Got there and attempted to print out insurance paperwork on her computer. She couldn't remember the password for her ANCIENT computer. Her iPad doesn't work with the printer. My son tries to use his laptop, but their printer is not cooperating and won't connect via wifi to it no matter what we do. Get ahold of my father who does know my mom's password but the thing is SO ancient that after every click it takes several minutes to think. We finally get one thing printed but it will not do any more. Son tries restarting it but then it starts running updates (probably is still running them, lol). FINALLY get my dad's iPad and manage to google how to print from it, download an app to do that, and print the insurance stuff. It literally took an HOUR to print 3 pages! Meanwhile ex inlaw's are waiting at the DMV for us. 

And there was no way to know if they could even DO the title transfer to both our names without my license (I had the number, not the actual license, since that was in the diaper bag 90 minutes away lol). 

Thankfully, they were able to look it up in the system and verify I was who I said I was, and it all worked out. But MAN!!!! Prioritizing and short term memory are a huge problem with my ADHD and unfortunately I didn't take my medication until right before leaving the house and it hadn't kicked in yet. It takes an hour, which was exactly when I realized I'd left the bag, lol. Normally I take it at 9am so it will last until around dinner, but I guess on days I need to leave the house in the morning I need to take it earlier!!!!! (my son still can't believe my theory that it was a good idea to leave the most important stuff until last, to load in the car. In hindsight, I agree that was not a great plan, lol.)

What a day!

[alisoncooks]

Oh man!  I'm not a big crier, but that would've done me in. And (at least here) everything is so hot and wet/humid right now, which just makes everything feel about 100x worse, lol. 

I'm glad it worked out in the end. 

[Scarlett]

You need a big glass of wine after that day.  :((((Katie))))

[ktgrok]

2 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

You need a big glass of wine after that day.  :((((Katie))))

We are totally out of wine/beer/etc. I thought about asking my mom for a bottle before I left her house, lol, but getting pulled over with a bottle of wine on the front seat and no driver's license seemed risky, lol. Even unopened, t wouldn't look good. 

[ktgrok]

I will say, the GOOD thing about ADHD is you get used to this stuff, and learn how to make do. So I only temporarily panicked and then fixed it as well as I could, and hoped for the best. 

[WendyLady]

I've really enjoyed reading about your ADHD life.  My daughter (who is turning 24 in a few weeks!!)  recently decided to reach out to her dr about the possibility of her having ADHD, as well.  She has shared many articles with me, and it makes so much sense!  She is bright and delightful, but so scattered.  She loses EVERYTHING!  She has lost or broken about 8 phones a year for the last few years.  She forgets things, loses things, doesn't notice messes until she desperately needs something that is missing in the mess, she cannot focus through a task, etc.  She is so smart but often so lost. She has always felt like she is "bad", but has felt a lot of comfort in finding that it is just part of her diagnosis.  She recently started taking Adderall (sp?) and is finding it life changing....

Anyway, I'm so impressed that you were able to push through and find solutions!!  Way to go!!!

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

 

My husband and two sons have ADHD. This sounds like life on a daily basis. It's hard. Especially for my husband, who wasn't diagnosed until he was an adult and didn't have a lifetime of practice how to manage ADHD. My kids do a bit better. HUGS to you, it is HARD!

[Greta]

 

I have to gently correct your thread title, because I promise you, that is something I would do too!  (((hugs)))

1 hour ago, Ktgrok said:

I will say, the GOOD thing about ADHD is you get used to this stuff, and learn how to make do. So I only temporarily panicked and then fixed it as well as I could, and hoped for the best. 

 

I haven't mastered that skill.  For me the panic goes on and on, and the anguish lasts even longer!

[Ananda]

I don't have ADHD or anything; I'm just a scatterbrained failure at adulting.  But I do stuff like that all the time.

For example, I completely filled out our taxes online in February.  I didn't file them though, because I needed my driver's licence to e-sign.  I keep my driver's licence in the car so I have it when I am driving, and so I don't lose it.  So I would have had to go all the way to the garage, file the taxes, then immediately go all the way back to the garage to return the licence (otherwise it would get lost).  I procrastinated actually doing it for months.

In March.  I took my kids to a drop in daycare and to pick them up I had to have ID.  So my driver's licence left the car.  I shoved the licence in my back pocket while managing getting the kids out of the daycare and into the car and didn't put it back in it's spot.  I completely forgot about it, until I took my pants off that evening.  Ultimately, it floated around the house & then got lost.  I didn't worry about it too much though, because I was sure it would turn up.  I am always losing things and they usually turn up. 

In April, I decide we really need to file our taxes but EEEEK the driver's licence still hasn't turned up.  So we deep clean the kitchen, but can't it.  I order a new driver's licence from the DMV, but it doesn't come in time.  Ultimately, we end up mailing the taxes.  

A week later the new driver's licence arrives, AND I find the old one right in the kitchen where I knew it was all along.

I think people vary greatly in their executive function skills.  Some people seem to always have it together and think of disorganization as a character defect.  Other people (like me) just keep swimming, hoping it all turns out fine in the end.  

 

[scholastica]

24 minutes ago, Ananda said:

I don't have ADHD or anything; I'm just a scatterbrained failure at adulting.  But I do stuff like that all the time.

For example, I completely filled out our taxes online in February.  I didn't file them though, because I needed my driver's licence to e-sign.  I keep my driver's licence in the car so I have it when I am driving, and so I don't lose it.  So I would have had to go all the way to the garage, file the taxes, then immediately go all the way back to the garage to return the licence (otherwise it would get lost).  I procrastinated actually doing it for months.

In March.  I took my kids to a drop in daycare and to pick them up I had to have ID.  So my driver's licence left the car.  I shoved the licence in my back pocket while managing getting the kids out of the daycare and into the car and didn't put it back in it's spot.  I completely forgot about it, until I took my pants off that evening.  Ultimately, it floated around the house & then got lost.  I didn't worry about it too much though, because I was sure it would turn up.  I am always losing things and they usually turn up. 

In April, I decide we really need to file our taxes but EEEEK the driver's licence still hasn't turned up.  So we deep clean the kitchen, but can't it.  I order a new driver's licence from the DMV, but it doesn't come in time.  Ultimately, we end up mailing the taxes.  

A week later the new driver's licence arrives, AND I find the old one right in the kitchen where I knew it was all along.

I think people vary greatly in their executive function skills.  Some people seem to always have it together and think of disorganization as a character defect.  Other people (like me) just keep swimming, hoping it all turns out fine in the end.  

 

Gently, you may have ADHD if you do stuff like that all the time. 

[ktgrok]

17 minutes ago, scholastica said:

Gently, you may have ADHD if you do stuff like that all the time. 

I was going to say the same thing...that sure sounds like ADHD to me. 

[Knock]

I have ADD and have been in this exact type of situation more days than not!! I feel your pain!!

Like you, I stay up late while I'm *focused* so I can make sure to get everything done, t's crossed and i's dotted, everything. But what I do NOW is to load the car the night before. Because BTDT and the adrenal rush I get from scrambling around afterwards (and because, also like you, there are no easy solutions!! When it rains, it pours!! Of COURSE your parents have an ancient computer and OF COURSE it would take hours to figure out how to print out the forms there!! Every time someone jokes, "Hey, it could be worse!" I cringe because I feel like I'm living proof and the world's example of the "could be worse!"

I'm a flight attendant. I pack my bag and put it in the car the night before. I actually never bring it in from the garage, other than to the laundry room. I wash everything and put the clothes right back in. Then it sits, packed, in my laundry room until the night before my trip when I pack it into the car. I have separate make-up bags, separate lingerie, separate everything - my work things and my home things don't mix or mingle any more. Because I have shown up for a 3 day work trip without my suitcase before. And I've returned from a trip without a clue where my car key is. My first husband bought me this neat drawer that fits into my tow hitch and is a combination lock. Now I always know where my key is ?!

I'm just glad my family and husbands can roll with the punches of life with me and my ADD. It frustrates me, and I can't imagine how frustrating it must be for them.

[ktgrok]

I forgot to add, I was so annoyed with my brain that when I got to my mom's I left my shoes in the van, just in case, so I couldn't finish printing and then in a fluster run out and show up at the DMV without my shoes, lol. Because that seemed totally plausible. My mother thought I was crazy but I reminded her I HAVE forgotten my shoes at her house before. 

[Knock]

I have a full change of clothes in my car, including hats and sandals. For all of us. And shelf stable snacks. I change it seasonally LOL. 

[Ausmumof3]

That sounds so much like my life!  I'm still scrubbing a pot from when I started porridge last week and forgot I was cooking and went to take a shower.  Actually as youngest has got older I have got somewhat better. I think baby brain majorly exacerbates the problem.

[Lizzie in Ma]

Oh buy, sounds like one of many trips to help my parents.  Glad it all worked out.  xo

[sassenach]

I totally and completely get this. We took a trip years ago where I forgot the suitcase with 2 of my kids' clothes. We had to buy a whole new wardrobe for them.

I now make a list of everything we're packing and I don't cross anything off until I put it into the car. But I'm still totally capable of forgetting stuff. 

[Kanin]

Something I do all the time is write out a detailed grocery list, only to forget to bring the list to the grocery store...

I also forget things and lose things ALL the time. It's like I just can't force myself to actually put the things away where they should go, the first time... but then I ALWAYS get in a huge fluster looking for things. I've always wondered if this is an executive function problem, or just laziness on my part.

This year was the first year that I didn't misplace the tax information. I actually put a binder clip on all the various forms, left the bundle in a memorable place, and didn't move it somewhere stupid. Granted, it wasn't in a reasonable place like, oh, a filing cabinet, but it worked out this time. 

This coming school year is going to the Year of Organization. Hopefully.

[ktgrok]

10 minutes ago, Mainer said:

Something I do all the time is write out a detailed grocery list, only to forget to bring the list to the grocery store...

I also forget things and lose things ALL the time. It's like I just can't force myself to actually put the things away where they should go, the first time... but then I ALWAYS get in a huge fluster looking for things. I've always wondered if this is an executive function problem, or just laziness on my part.

This year was the first year that I didn't misplace the tax information. I actually put a binder clip on all the various forms, left the bundle in a memorable place, and didn't move it somewhere stupid. Granted, it wasn't in a reasonable place like, oh, a filing cabinet, but it worked out this time. 

This coming school year is going to the Year of Organization. Hopefully.

That is exactly what the meds help with. Instead of thinking, "I should put that away....I'll do it later" as I walk off I actually can stop and put it away. 

[Kanin]

1 hour ago, Ktgrok said:

That is exactly what the meds help with. Instead of thinking, "I should put that away....I'll do it later" as I walk off I actually can stop and put it away. 

Gosh, that would be nice!

In special ed, I'm slowly realizing the extent to which ADHD is a really serious challenge for kids. Aside from medication, the supports we have for ADHD kids aren't that fantastic. The best, from what I've experienced, is a small class size with the freedom to move around and talk when they want/need to. It's tough for them.