Paging Dr. Hive--Adult ADD?

[Ravin]

I have always been horribly disorganized. Messy, procrastinating, unmotivated, etc. Looking back, I think it's held me back since high school--I went to an early college admissions program and failed to keep my grades high enough to stay in the program the 2nd year, in part because I had no self-discipline for studying (before then I never HAD to study really) and was horribly disorganized. My poor army-brat roommate was long-suffering in her tolerance of my mess (there is a picture on FB of our side-by-side desks in the dorm--mine looks like something exploded on it, hers is perfectly tidy. The difference is starkly delineated). I've never been hyper, but definitely tended to hyperfocus, often on something I was interested in over something I was supposed to be doing (like writing stories in class instead of taking notes, for instance, though I eventually learned to do both at once).

Over time, I've developed coping mechanisms, but the last few years, it feels like I can't even focus on things I used to be able to focus on (like reading a book). Yesterday I set a timer for myself, sat down to read something I wanted to read, and felt antsy within a couple of minutes. It took sheer effort of will to sit there and keep reading until the timer went off. I used to be able to just read and read for hours and hours. Parenting has somewhat reduced my tendency to hyperfocus (nothing like a toddler to teach you to pay attention to more than one task at a time!) But now, it seems I can't focus at all. At work I'm horribly distracted. I keep my client files organized and calendar things three ways to make sure I don't miss important deadlines (Google calendar, office's file sharing software calendar, and by filing current client files by date of deadline/hearing), but anything secondary to that (conference notes, for instance) tends to end up in piles of paper on top of the filing cabinet. At home, DD frequently complains that I don't listen to her because she'll start talking to me while my attention is elsewhere. Part of this is teen self-centeredness that if I'm not paying 100% attention to her when she wants me to, she is annoyed; other times I try and get her to talk, and she won't because HER attention or interest is elsewhere--but only part of it; I also have trouble focusing when DH talks to me!

The most frustrating thing is that I can't seem to read anything longer than a court opinion any more. I can still get in a groove when I need to write (motions, etc., not so much writing for pleasure, another thing that used to keep me occupied for hours).

So, I wonder if I have ADD. Is it worth talking to my doctor about? Is my doctor the person to talk to, or should I go to someone else?

[PeterPan]

 https://www.amazon.com/That-Crumpled-Paper-Last-Week/dp/0399535594/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1524060087&sr=8-1-fkmr0&keywords=that+crumpled+paper+was+my+homework or https://www.amazon.com/Smart-but-Scattered-Revolutionary-Executive/dp/1593854455/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1524060109&sr=8-1&keywords=smart+but+scattered 

 

[Garga]

My dh has ADHD, but didn’t seriously consider that he had it until he was 42 years old.  

He’d managed to get through life well enough until then, but then a ton of responsibility was dumped on him all at the same time:

• 5 and 7 year old kids to raise
• New responsibilities at work
• Working on a master’s degree
• New responsibilities at church

He couldn’t do anything well and was constantly distracted.  He couldn’t manage to read through an email at work without losing his focus.

He took a few online “do I have adhd” tests that showed he did.  He had a very calm and unruffled doctor whom he talked to about it. It’s probably not what’s supposed to happen, but the doctor calmly drawled out, “Sounds very possible that you do have ADD.  Let’s have you try some ADD meds and see what happens.”

So, he tried the meds and immediately he could focus for the first time in his life.  It was pretty life changing for him.  

 

I’d say it’s worth it to take a few of those little “do I have ADD” tests and then go to your doctor and see  what happens.  Some doctors may refer you to someone else, and some my prescribe something for you right then and there. (If you want the meds.  I only say that because it was such a dramatic improvement for my dh.  You may choose other options, of course.)

[Ravin]

@PeterPan Well, I drink coffee every morning just about (1 to 2 cups). And often have a coke zero in the afternoon. Not as much as I used to, but still quite a bit. 

I've been taking magnesium and for a while I was taking B vitamins, but nothing super regularly. Haven't taken 5HTP. I'd be open to trying meds, they help DD (sort of) and my little brother (quite a bit).

The mindfulness exercises are something I might try, thanks for the suggestion. I tend to get lost on rabbit trails on guided meditation, and I've always been lousy at trying to quiet my mind, so there's definitely room for improvement there.

[Ravin]

@Garga I have taken several of those online tests, and they all said "you probably have ADD."

[Lady Florida.]

I think it's worth looking into. I have a friend, a fellow homeschool mom, who was like you but ADD didn't occur to her until we became friends. Her son is aspie and mine has ADHD and we used to talk about the challenges we had with them. The more I talked about ds' issues the more she realized they were her issues. She got a dx and chose medication (meds might or might not be right for you). She credits her diagnosis with helping her marriage and other relationships. She was happy to learn there's a reason for her being the way she is, that she's not just flighty and disorganized as she had always been accused of being. 

 

[SKL]

Yeah, I suspect I have ADD as well as "girl type" ASD; if so, it explains a lot.  But I don't know what a diagnosis would do.  I know I don't want to take drugs, and I don't have time for therapies.

It helps to develop a way to articulate what's hard for you and how others can help you accommodate.  For example, I am often reminding people that I can't really think about more than one thing at a time.  If they want my attention, they need to (1) wait until I finish any urgent stuff and (2) please stay on point and complete their thought.  Also there are certain times of the day and certain situations where I can take less or more.  Worst is when I'm stressed out or in the a.m. before my coffee.  If someone tries to pull my brain in two directions at those times, I will get a headache and a stiff neck that will last for hours or days, and that doesn't improve my effectiveness.  You want something done by me, work with me as I am.  :P  So if I'm trying to get my kids off to school, do not ask me the status of the report I was working on last night.  Ask me after I'm back in work mode.  But, don't incessantly interrupt me at work either.  Save it up and get my attention once or twice a day.  Better yet, email me and I will get to it in between other things.

When I worked in an office, I gradually got them used to the idea that I don't do mornings very well, at least until about 10am.  They were more likely to receive a report at 2am than 9am.  Whatever works.  If I had to be somewhere early in the morning, I was focused on just that one thing.

I used to do yoga in the a.m. to clear my mind and get ready for the day.  (I should still be doing it.)

I was also somewhat obsessive about being organized, because my fear was not being able to find stuff.  If I filed it, I knew where it was.  Also, the lack of clutter allowed me to focus better on my immediate priorities.  But I would always have a "to-do list" to which I could toggle lest a responsibility completely slip my mind.

The ADD thing is also why I do better in a "less is more" mindset.  Fewer things, less distraction, more effectiveness.

Mostly I just want to retire so I don't have to worry about so many things.

[gardenmom5]

you want someone who can do a proper evaluation.    if your insurance requires a referral -you go to your dr first.   if it doesn't -skip it and go right to step two.

a clinical psych who works with adhd etc  will be who will do the eval and treatment.    you want one who works with adults - presentation is different between children, teens, and adults.

 

eta; we're now bringing a full -time psych.  into dudeling's team.  (he does have some add.)  his neuro wants him doing cbt - there are other options.  (and the pysch is the one who would do it.)

[Ravin]

So, any great suggestions for how to find a psych?

[PeterPan]

Don't know why you'd go to a psych unless you want more on the table (anxiety, spectrum etc.). I'm all for it for kids, but the adults I know just talked with their gp or ob, got the scrip, done. The real disadvantage there is they're treating it exclusively like a methylphenidate deficiency and not explaining the EF strategies, etc. Remember too, a psych can't prescribe meds. A p-doc can, but they're wicked expensive, like $350 an hour around here.

On the mindfulness, google body scans. I find them distinctly more concrete. The audiotracks for Sitting Like a Frog are available for free too. Just saying body scans or even a modified body scan (Meditation on the Soles of the Feet, etc.) are easier to stay focused with. I had a person who does CBT do it with me at first, and it was so idiotically simple I realized I could do it anywhere. I did a series of cranial sacral sessions for an unrelated reason and used it as an opportunity to get in quite a bit of mindfulness. I just focused on being very aware of whatever area was being worked on. You could do the same with massage. Or you can go to the gym, use the steam room, and use that as an opportunity to slow down and do a body scan. That's what I do now. Or do body scans at night as you're going to bed.

The 5HTP might help the thoughts in your head thing. Can be ADHD too, but just saying. I'm really keen on the genetics stuff now. It's cheap and you can sort things out. I really hate the whole hmm that worked for someone else, wonder what it would do for me gig. I like that I can look at me genes and go yeah, this actually is really important and warranted and explains a lot. Fwiw, the genes also sent us down leads with vitamin D, vitamin A, etc.

And yeah, if you've got siblings using the meds successfully, that could be a sign, lol. 

[TrixieB]

49 minutes ago, Ravin said:

So, any great suggestions for how to find a psych?

If either of your kids have ever been evaluated for anything, whoever did the evaluation should be able to recommend someone.

If your kids see a pediatrician, their office ought to have a list of psychs that they refer to.  Some of them are likely to work with adults, or will be able to recommend someone who does.  Your PCP might be able to recommend also. 

 

[Lady Florida.]

1 hour ago, Ravin said:

So, any great suggestions for how to find a psych?

 

24 minutes ago, TrixieB said:

If either of your kids have ever been evaluated for anything, whoever did the evaluation should be able to recommend someone.

If your kids see a pediatrician, their office ought to have a list of psychs that they refer to.  Some of them are likely to work with adults, or will be able to recommend someone who does.  Your PCP might be able to recommend also. 

 

You might have to check around. Apparently it's more difficult to get a diagnosis as an adult. Many doctors are afraid of being accused of drug peddling. It's even difficult for an adult who was diagnosed as a child. Ds had a hard time finding a psychiatrist willing to treat him, once he aged out of the pedi practice. In Florida a psychologist can't prescribe meds, a most GPs and internists don't want to prescribe ADHD meds no matter how good your paper trail dx is, so he has to see a psychiatrist in order to keep getting his prescription. 

[Liz CA]

2 hours ago, Ravin said:

@Garga I have taken several of those online tests, and they all said "you probably have ADD."

 

I don't have that much faith in online tests, however, this does not mean that you may not have ADD. I would schedule an evaluation with a professional.

However, there are studies now that increased screen usage (which we are all exposed to and have little choice to avoid) has contributed to a much shorter attention span. When I take a deliberate break from screens and only use computers / phone when necessary for work, I seem to regain the ability to concentrate for longer and feel less distracted.

[Night Elf]

I was diagnosed with ADD in 2010 when I was in college. I just couldn't focus on what was going on and I was all over the place. I was diagnosed by my psychiatrist because I was seeing her for my bipolar and anxiety diagnoses. I don't remember what medication she put me on but it really helped. I went off the medication when I quit college. I didn't feel I needed it. I had good coping skills and managed to do what needed to be done. My only problem is I can't sit still. I need to be doing something but it can be something easy like moving my hands. When I read, I chew my fingers and move my legs constantly trying to find that one perfect position. There isn't much I need to focus on except for reading and I'd be so unhappy if I lost the ability to do that. I'd go back on medication to fix that problem. Reading brings me joy.

[Heathermomster]

Maybe find a CBT that specializes in executive function.  If you could find a CBT that shares an office space with a psychiatrist who deals with attention disorders, that would be a plus for you.  

 CBT would sit down with you and discuss your life, behaviors, and responsibilities. It helps if you can identify specific areas that need to be addressed. CBT can give you exercises and cognitive therapies to help you organize your thoughts and life.   The CBT can also recommend you to a professional if they feel you need further testing and medication. A combination of CBT and medication are recomended to achieve the best life outcomes.