maize Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 Many of you may remember that my MiL passed away in September. It has been an incredibly difficult few months for FiL--not only did he lose his wife of 52 years, he also lost his home and many of his possessions (courtesy of Hurricane Harvey), relocated half way across the country (to be near family) and is still dealing with settling matters back in Texas while trying to settle into a new life out here. It would be a lot for anyone. He is coming here for Christmas Eve and spending the night (lives about an hour from us). I feel...inadequate I guess. I know he'll be happy to be with the grandkids and enjoy their enjoyment of Christmas, but I am also sure that grief is going to be even stronger than most days. MiL loved holiday celebrations and threw herself into making them special. I don't know if I am really even asking anything, just wanting to talk I guess because this is on my mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 I'm so sorry. :grouphug: All you can do is try to keep him busy and let him know how much he is loved. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 I'm so sorry. :grouphug: All you can do is try to keep him busy and let him know how much he is loved. :iagree: I'm sorry, too. That is very tough. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoVanGogh Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 I am so sorry. We’re there special foods your MIL made or FIL loves? Traditions that they shared? I would try to find a few small, but special ways to lift his spirits. Or maybe plan just a quiet evening with the family gathered around. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 Remember with him. Don’t make him feel that he has to fake thevjoy of the season. It’s okay if he cries of feels melancholy. Don’t feel that you can make him happy. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaceseeker Posted December 20, 2017 Share Posted December 20, 2017 Just being around your kids will probably bring him a lot of joy and comfort. Kids bring us all to the right now moment. Especially little ones. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted December 20, 2017 Share Posted December 20, 2017 Remember with him. Don’t make him feel that he has to fake thevjoy of the season. It’s okay if he cries of feels melancholy. Don’t feel that you can make him happy. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk This. Talk about her. Reminisce about her love of the holidays. Talk about how much she is missed, and maybe have a cry together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephanier.1765 Posted December 20, 2017 Share Posted December 20, 2017 Maybe get him involved in a project with the kids. Is there anything he likes to do such as building, doing puzzles, anything that can transfer over to a Grandad and grandkids project? Being busy might help keep his mind of what is missing. Poor man, I feel for him. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephanier.1765 Posted December 20, 2017 Share Posted December 20, 2017 Maybe get him involved in a project with the kids. Is there anything he likes to do such as building, doing puzzles, anything that can transfer over to a Grandad and grandkids project? Being busy might help keep his mind of what is missing. Poor man, I feel for him. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted December 21, 2017 Share Posted December 21, 2017 I agree, maybe a small project he could do with the kids (or maybe starting a tree in a pot in her honor and planting it in the ground in the spring as something to look forward to with the kids?) And a quiet space for him if things get too much. And maybe try to just listen if he needs to talk and reassure him if he needs to cry. How is your DH handling all this? Can he be a source of comfort to his dad? Is there a special tradition or dish MIL was known for that maybe the kids could do? And big hugs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted December 21, 2017 Share Posted December 21, 2017 Just being there and when there are tough moments as there likely will be, someone can just sit with him unless he would rather be alone. What a load to process in a few short months for him and all of you! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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