Rhondabee Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 Seriously, my Mom told me to pack up the kids and their school books and they'll pick them up Nov. 11 and homeschool them til Thanksgiving. (These are the parents who have never supported me in anything....:001_huh:) Part of me wonders with a chuckle if they just want to see if we *really* do school..... and part of me gets of glimmer of devilish glee imagining my Dad trying to figure out R&S English 8 and Henle Year One... (tho', he did teach me Algebra, and I'm sure that will go well) and part of me is really, really worried. My kids are the average grand-kids and have to compete with their only-child cousin who taught herself to read at 3yo, and who greatly skewed my parent's perceptions of what is reasonable to expect from an average child. So, do I find a way to gracefully refuse? Do I just send library books? Do I send part but not all? The 8th grader is fairly independent, but the 5th grader - oh my! WWYD? Rhonda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 So, do I find a way to gracefully refuse? Do I just send library books? Do I send part but not all? Yes, gracefully refuse the homeschooling part, and send lots of library books. Accept the "babysitting" part of it. Tell them this is a great time for the kids to take some time off from academics and spend time with grandparents--after all, this is where homeschooling has some advantage, in flexibility. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Alfred Academy Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 Yes, gracefully refuse the homeschooling part, and send lots of library books. Accept the "babysitting" part of it. Tell them this is a great time for the kids to take some time off from academics and spend time with grandparents--after all, this is where homeschooling has some advantage, in flexibility. :iagree: Something else the gparents could do is take them on some field trips...any area museums, story times, ect. Hope you have a speedy recovery! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brigitte Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 :iagree: Something else the gparents could do is take them on some field trips...any area museums, story times, ect. Hope you have a speedy recovery! :grouphug: :iagree:, too! My mom taught the girls sewing by hand, braiding, etc. when she had them for a few days last year. Is there something else (home ec skills, algebra :D, etc., field trips, etc.) that they could do? On the other hand, would there really be any harm in letting them go with their school books and having your parents help? It might help your parents see what it is that you do. Not matter what you decide about schooling, definitely take them up on the offer to have the kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamrachelle Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 :grouphug: I think it would be easier if you shelved all of your HS plans until after your recovery. I had a hysterectomy 5 years ago and was also blessed with parents that were able to keep my babies for me. I wasn't homeschooling at the time (they were only 1 and 4 then) but my recovery was slow and a tad bit emotional .... surgical menopause was .... interesting. Concentrate on healing and getting your energy back. Sleep when your body tells you you're tired and don't lift anything! I will pray for a speedy recovery for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 Another p.o.v., just to let you know it's possible--my mom hs'ed my children for 4 months when I was on bed rest and in the hospital. :001_smile: Maybe you could send the subjects that your children can do independently, so that they have stuff to keep them occupied in the down times. My kids always seem to get up to mischief if they have too much free time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhondabee Posted October 29, 2008 Author Share Posted October 29, 2008 Thanks, ladies, for assuring me that I'm not just being ungrateful! My 3yo is melting down ~ I will check back later! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkInTheBlue Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 You know much more about your family than I possibly would. However, Tony and I went out of the country week before last for 7 days. My mother kept all 3 boys and helped them do school all week. I did cut it down a bit but they did it. I was so proud. :) It was really cool though. She really appreciates all we get accomplished here each day now. She's always been supportive and know she seems amazed. :) It's been pretty fun. I'd recommend at least considering it if they are sincere. It could really open their eyes to appreciate all you do, all the kiddos know and learn and how the homeschool process works. Thoughts and prayers to you on your upcoming surgery as well! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alenee Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 I just had a hyst. 2 months ago and I can definitely say that unless your parents have any experience with it (with your kids), it will be an exercise in futility for all. I thought my mom would do fine. I gave her a list of read-alouds...short snippets, all laid out in an easy-to-read assignment sheet. Read this book, these pages, this day. She got through one day and quit. :001_huh: If you can send some independent work with the kids, great. But otherwise, just give the kids some books and encourage the g-parents to take them on some field trips or include them in some home projects. btw- You will probably be really surprised how quickly you are up and about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anissarobert Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 My Mom helped the younger two with their work a while back, and she says she gained a greater appreciation for what I do. She even helped ds with his Latin! I would send modified school work. The things they can do on their own, or that are easy to figure out. I would skip the really challenging things like R & S 8. (I have trouble figuring that one out!) It is really nice of them to offer to help. Good luck. I hope you feel better soon. My recovery from surgery was a breeze. I think I was really only out of it for a couple of days with my hysterectomy, but they did it w/o an abdominal incision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosy Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 I'd send some work along--this might be a great opportunity for them to see what you're doing and get on board! If it doesn't work out, you haven't lost anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen in NS Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Seriously, my Mom told me to pack up the kids and their school books and they'll pick them up Nov. 11 and homeschool them til Thanksgiving. (These are the parents who have never supported me in anything....:001_huh:) Part of me wonders with a chuckle if they just want to see if we *really* do school..... and part of me gets of glimmer of devilish glee imagining my Dad trying to figure out R&S English 8 and Henle Year One... (tho', he did teach me Algebra, and I'm sure that will go well) and part of me is really, really worried. My kids are the average grand-kids and have to compete with their only-child cousin who taught herself to read at 3yo, and who greatly skewed my parent's perceptions of what is reasonable to expect from an average child. So, do I find a way to gracefully refuse? Do I just send library books? Do I send part but not all? The 8th grader is fairly independent, but the 5th grader - oh my! WWYD? Rhonda I'd refuse if you are really, really worried. No sense putting yourself through that worry while trying to recover, no sense putting your kids through it, and no sense giving your parents an insider's look into what you do with your kids if they haven't been supportive before. Just send lots of library books, maybe ask them if they will read aloud to them every day and teach them life skills and have fun with the kids. I was wondering today how you've been feeling! Glad to hear it's coming up soon. Take good care of yourself afterwards. I've had 2 c-sections and know what the recovery from abdominal (if that's the type you're having) surgery is like. God bless you, Rhonda! You are a blessing here! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcjlkplus3 Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 I'd send some work along--this might be a great opportunity for them to see what you're doing and get on board! If it doesn't work out, you haven't lost anything. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mesa Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 I had a Hysterectomy 6 weeks ago. I was back to normal the next day. We even did school! Like Carli said you may be pleasantly surprised at how fast you are up and around. I felt no pain, none! So I just couldnt justify sitting around all day. I was back to my normal routine dishes, school, laundry etc. 6 weeks later I'm still feeling great. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MgoBlue Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 I guess I'm not sure why you wouldn't want your parents to help with your homeschooling. An old co-worker had her parents watch her kids and they helped her all the time. I would just give them casual lesson plans...not anything set in stone. I'd want everything to be as normal as possible for my kids...and school work would be a constant. fwiw...Paula Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soph the vet Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 I would say go ahead and send their work with them. With a well-laid out list of "expectations" that is not overwhelming. At least keep up with the core subjects, especially the 8th grader. That way you are not overwhelmed upon your recovery. It may also give your parents a huge amount of fresh understanding of what it is that you "do all day":001_smile:. And they may feel appreciated like never before. I agree that field trips are a great idea for that time too, but don't ignore the work either. Hope all goes well for your surgery! Try to really rest and hire a maid for a couple of weeks!:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 I guess I'd weigh which would stress you more--having your parents homeschool your kids, or coming back after a break to be "behind"--if you look at it as behind. What do you expect would happen if your parents homeschooled your kids? Would they get a 'tude about it? Would they become abusive or nearly so? Would they fail to explain things adequately and would that lead to tears or frustration or a Mess for you to clean up, so to speak? Would they do a great job and leave you feeling inadequate? Would they breeze thru it and then turn on you and say, "I don't know why you are always complaining about homeschooling--it's soooo easy!" or carp like that? (Not saying you complain or anything--just brainstorming possibilities) Is the issue really the homeschooling, or having them gone for that length of time? If it's the time gone, could the kids stay a week at G'mas and then come home and have G'ma come over to help for another week? I'd just see what would cause the least disruption, and cause you the least strain. I know for me, I wouldn't want my mom to homeschool my dd because she'd be too fakey-teachery, and she'd probably run out of patience--but who knows--it'll never happen here. My dad's explanations would go way too deep for my eldest, and he'd end up confused--happened to me! But watching them for a short time would be fine. Not 3 weeks, tho... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhondabee Posted October 30, 2008 Author Share Posted October 30, 2008 (edited) Frankly, because so much of what we do isn't just "open up the book, read the next lesson, and answer the questions." You know, if we were doing all Abeka, and it was a no-brainer to know if dc got it "right" or not, then sure - anybody could take my place. But, *so much* of what we do is discussion and written responses. And, given that I do not have written-in-stone plans (due to the fact that I often can't get to a full day's work this year), how will my parents know when to assign an outline, and on what material, versus assigning a narration. And, how will they have the background knowledge to know whether or not the work is being done to the best of my kids' abilities? How will they discuss reading material that doesn't come with a study guide? Basically, how will two people who have no knowledge of classical education methods teach my kids via those methods? And, while admittedly, I am learning (and re-learning) Latin and Grammar and Writing and Logic and Algebra alongside my oldest, I have been learning it ahead of him as we go. They would simply be thrown into the middle of something, lost, and unable to catch-up without weeks of prep work. You know, it's easy when your kids are in K-4th or 5th to have someone else come in for a bit, but these are high school level classes. And, I don't want my ds to waste his time trying to get the work done basically on his own; have an undiscovered misunderstanding of the material that isn't caught right away, and then have to re-do the material. Nothing is more devastating to this child than *thinking* he understands it, only to have to re-do all that work (and especially once patterns of thinking are engraved - that makes it just that much harder to learn correctly). Add to that my concern that my younger ds needs lots of hand-holding right now. (That's the nice way of saying, "This kid just doesn't understand anything right now unless I spoon-feed it to him." - which is a bit of an exaggeration, but not much.) This just isn't my parents' strong suit, and I worry that they will undermine his self-esteem in their efforts to "grow him up" for me. (For the record, my oldest ds needed this same hand-holding in 5th and 6th grades, and I *did* worry about him. Thanks to Ellie, I backed off and gave him the dependence he needed until he was ready to take off. I'm so thankful I didn't crush him by holding him to someone else's standards. And, I don't want my youngest child to come home crushed by the grandparents that he both loves and fears.) eta: actually, he's not the youngest - just the youngest doing school. They would also have my 3yo dd "helping" them. Maybe that clarifies a few concerns. I know typing it out helped me think through how much my parents just really don't know what they're asking for. If you made it this far, thanks for listening~ Rhonda Edited October 30, 2008 by Rhondabee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TraciWA Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 I would just send them with some fun fluff work. Explain that it will be like a break and the importance of the time spent with the grandparents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhondabee Posted October 30, 2008 Author Share Posted October 30, 2008 My Mom helped the younger two with their work a while back, and she says she gained a greater appreciation for what I do. She even helped ds with his Latin! I would send modified school work. The things they can do on their own, or that are easy to figure out. I would skip the really challenging things like R & S 8. (I have trouble figuring that one out!) It is really nice of them to offer to help. Good luck. I hope you feel better soon. My recovery from surgery was a breeze. I think I was really only out of it for a couple of days with my hysterectomy, but they did it w/o an abdominal incision. Mine is also going to be laproscopic - and the doctor has said it's normal to be back at a "desk job" in two weeks. Just no lifting, etc. for six. I'm hoping we'll be able to start back right after Thanksgiving, anyway. Maybe I'll send the Geography Coloring Book that only has six pages colored after almost 8 weeks of school - LOL! :001_smile: Rhonda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhondabee Posted October 30, 2008 Author Share Posted October 30, 2008 What do you expect would happen if your parents homeschooled your kids? Would they get a 'tude about it? Would they become abusive or nearly so? Would they fail to explain things adequately and would that lead to tears or frustration or a Mess for you to clean up, so to speak? ... I wouldn't want my mom to homeschool my dd because she'd be too fakey-teachery, and she'd probably run out of patience--but who knows--it'll never happen here. My dad's explanations would go way too deep for my eldest, and he'd end up confused--happened to me! But watching them for a short time would be fine. Not 3 weeks, tho... My parents are great people. Not "abusive", but they are both very guarded emotionally, and do not realize the effect that their extremely high standards have on ordinary people. I already posted about this somewhat in a response above ~ but you sound like you understand exactly what my main concern re: my 5th grader is. Thanks for posting! Rhondabee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlockOfSillies Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 It sounds like they are looking at their own dd having serious surgery (recovery-wise, anyway), and they are stretching themselves to help you. I think it's a very sweet gesture on their part, especially considering their history. This is one of those times that a move like this actually means something. It's only for two weeks. Pack up whatever you can for the kids to do, both fluff and real work. Let your folks try to do it, and don't sweat it one iota if they can't hack it. Maybe they'll surprise you with how much the kids get done. Anything that does get done for those two weeks is gravy. Keep your expectations low, and you have room to be pleasantly surprised. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5Youngs Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 IMO, look at their motives. They are your parents, and just bc they aren't always vocally supportive, doesn't mean that they are opposed to you homeschooling. My parents have just started taking our 3 boys for 7-8 days at a time and doing history, math, grammar, literature and copywork with them. (ONLY when they request their homework) They now sing ballads about my superwoman abilities.:lol: Trust me when I say, they have no idea how much effort it takes to keep your day pulled together and on track. And they don't remember how much work children are! I am amazed how quickly we forget this. I get around 1-3 year olds and am amazed that I survived this age 3 times! And my youngest is only 5~:tongue_smilie: I didn't realize how much we accomplish daily until I saw in a pile what we actually get done. It's very encouraging! Sometimes, it's just fun to go to Grandma and Grandpa's house and play all day! (and ruin their clothes from all of the things that gma and gpa allow them to do that I never got to do):confused: We school year round, minus the month of May or June off. So, we can take breaks when we need to. They boys ended up at my parents house last week, which happened to be the week that my husband found out that he lost his job with AIG. It was totally God watching out for my sanity. (no worries about spending 8+ hours a day painting and cleaning to get our house on the market) THere is no way that I could have focused on that with them here! Accept their invitation with open arms! You can spend the time taking care of YOU, and they will survive. Blessings~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 I would probably send them with lots of library books and easy (fluff) work. I'd rather them have a break and pick things up later than have to undo or redo someone else's teaching. I like a PP's suggestion of some "field trips" too. Or maybe you could use this as a review time and send them with some review work instead of having your parents try to introduce any new concepts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhondabee Posted October 30, 2008 Author Share Posted October 30, 2008 I just had a hyst. 2 months ago and I can definitely say that unless your parents have any experience with it (with your kids), it will be an exercise in futility for all. I thought my mom would do fine. I gave her a list of read-alouds...short snippets, all laid out in an easy-to-read assignment sheet. Read this book, these pages, this day. She got through one day and quit. :001_huh: If you can send some independent work with the kids, great. But otherwise, just give the kids some books and encourage the g-parents to take them on some field trips or include them in some home projects. btw- You will probably be really surprised how quickly you are up and about. Thanks for posting! I'm really surprised how many women have had hysterectomies. It's nice to know I'm not the only one. :001_smile: Rhondabee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5Youngs Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 My parents are great people. Not "abusive", but they are both very guarded emotionally, and do not realize the effect that their extremely high standards have on ordinary people. I already posted about this somewhat in a response above ~ but you sound like you understand exactly what my main concern re: my 5th grader is. Thanks for posting! Rhondabee Just send things that he can do alone and enjoys. Does he like to read? I have sent mine with a bag of library books (animals, literature, history) and had them write or draw WHATEVER THEY CHOOSE TO about what they read. Copywork is easy, pick some Burns or Frost poetry or famous speeches or quotes for them to copy and memorize? (try to impress?) My 11yo loves this. Don't send anything that could lead to freak out mode for gma and gpa. I actually have been surprised at how much my parents have relaxed their standards since I was doing schoolwork! I pray that you find the same thing. Now, if I was afraid that they would hurt one of my children with their expectations or comments, I would nix any school that they would have to help with. Only you know how sensitive your kiddos are, and you are their mama bear! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhondabee Posted October 30, 2008 Author Share Posted October 30, 2008 I was really hoping to delay the surgury til next summer, but things have rapidly gone downhill. I am just so thankful that I live when & where I do, and that surgury is an option! Thanks for your kind thoughts! Rhondabee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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