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Worrying... Talk me down....


goldberry
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DD turned 18 in January.  She is going to a concert in a bigger city about 2 hours away, and then will be staying in a hotel with her friend overnight.  Friend is 17.

 

I am a nervous wreck about this.  She has always been responsible.  I'm just imagining two young and beautiful girls at a concert, to and from parking lot, to and from hotel, out at night....   :o   She has been driving for a while, she goes out with friends locally, at night, etc.  No problems.  This seems different though.

 

Any advice for me, and also other things I should remind her of besides the basics?  We have always focused on being alert and aware of your surroundings as the most important thing.

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Make sure that the hotel will allow 18 year olds to check in without someone over 21. We've had some difficulties with some chains over the years and have heard similar stories from others. It has been a few years though so it may not be a concern anymore.

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Yes, we checked all the stuff ahead of time with the hotel.  We did a paper authorization of the credit card ahead of time (it's in my name) which they assured us would be okay, but I'm sending it with her just in case.  The first place we called only allowed 21 and over, but this place is 18 and over, decent and safe hotel.  They will be checking into the hotel before the concert and then have dinner.

 

The drink issue I have pounded into her repeatedly, also the staying together.  Anything special about parking/parking garages?

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Oh, also, they should call the hotel and let them know about what time they will be getting in.  With the concert in town, it's possible the hotel might have a cut off time, where if you don't show up by X time, they give the room away. 

 

That is extremely unlikely. That's how things worked decades ago when you made phone reservations- but now you book with a credit card and it gets charged, so they don't care whether you check in at 10pm or at 6am. 

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My oldest starting taking the train into NYC with friends to go to concerts at 18 years old.  Sometimes the friend was older, sometimes younger.   Why aren't they parking at the hotel and taking a cab to the concert venue?  It has a real possibility of being cheaper because hotels often charge less than general parking in the city.  As long as they stay in well populated areas - near the hotel, restaurant, and concert venue - they shouldn't have any problems. 

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My oldest starting taking the train into NYC with friends to go to concerts at 18 years old.  Sometimes the friend was older, sometimes younger.   Why aren't they parking at the hotel and taking a cab to the concert venue?  It has a real possibility of being cheaper because hotels often charge less than general parking in the city.  As long as they stay in well populated areas - near the hotel, restaurant, and concert venue - they shouldn't have any problems. 

 

This will sound really stupid, because we don't take cabs, but how would they get a cab back afterward?  Would they have to call then wait for someone?

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This will sound really stupid, because we don't take cabs, but how would they get a cab back afterward?  Would they have to call then wait for someone?

 

Chances are good that there will be a ton of cabs outside the concert venue when it lets out, depending on how big of a venue it is.  That's how things usually go in NYC.  Otherwise, if it's a main street they will probably be able to catch one passing by.  You can also call a car service and arrange for a pick-up before the concert even starts.  The hotel can probably help them with arranging that, as well as arranging a cab from the hotel to dinner and/or the concert.

 

Make sure to tell them to make sure they are going with a legitimate cab company, whatever that means in that particular city. 

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This will sound really stupid, because we don't take cabs, but how would they get a cab back afterward?  Would they have to call then wait for someone?

 

My DD usually uses Uber for night time travel in the city. Cheaper than taxi, you call it via cell phone app.

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There will be lots of other people around as they leave the venue so getting back to their car will be fine if it's parked in something like a parking deck. If they are concerned about the hotel parking lot they can park right at  the front door (like you do when you're checking in) and ask for someone to come outside and escort them from the parking lot to the hotel. They can move the car to a regular parking spot once they have a hotel employee with them. 

 

Our kids always called/sent texts when the event was over (so after the concert ends) and then again when they get back for the night.  It kept us from worrying as much AND they felt better knowing someone knew where they were.  

 

 

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City girl here:

 

I would definitely park at the hotel and take a cab. Driving in the city is a royal pain. :)

 

I had similar safety concerns for my dd when her flight to South Africa was canceled. She was stranded in New York alone. 18 years old. We paid for a hotel near the airport. I was a wreck thinking about her there, alone. 

 

She handled it like a pro. Our travel agent got her access to a buffet/lounge for extra-special guests, and dd had lots of fun raiding the buffet. She knew not to reveal that she was alone, and she knew to walk with confidence. She was fine. 

 

I think I would still worry if the same thing happened to her again, but that's what moms do, right?

 

 

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If it's a fairly big city, I agree with taking a taxi or Uber to and from concert, particularly if they don't know for sure where parking is in relation to venue. 

 

It sounds like you have told her most of the standard safety things. Parking and parking garages, keys should be in hand, and second person should be visibly alert and looking around. 

 

I pound it into my kids' brains that it is okay to be rude! In the city, at night by themselves, they need to remember this. They don't have to talk to someone who is making them uneasy. They can turn and walk away from someone without a word. They don't have to pause and help someone pick up a dropped package. And so on. 

 

I'm sure they'll be fine! And ships are safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for. 

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