Grandparents and gift clothing

[Alicia64]

I LIVE with son 1 and son 2 -- and I can't seem to buy anything right for son 1. I totally get son 2's style, but I'm just starting to finally understand son 1. (They're twins, but totally different sizes and styles)

 

I can't imagine buying clothes for kids you don't live with (or even near). Unless they're babies or toddlers.

 

Alley

[heartlikealion]

I buy clothes for my niece and nephew.  We try to keep up with their likes, though. I see them a few times a yr and ask my SIL questions.

 

[frogger]

My parents and in laws both commented on my daughter dressing like a granny. I didn't say, "No, that would be dressing like you." :) My daughter likes classic styles, scarves, etc. To me she looks cute/retro but I will give them credit. At least they were willing to take clothing back and really want whatever to be something she will wear.

[MotherGoose]

Just view it as a way to learn to gracefully accept a gift you dislike. :). I'm sure you all are doing it, given the tone of the original post.

[Guest]

I dress my baby boys in jon-jons and saddle shoes. It's not the most inappropriate because we live in the deep south, but it is still unusual enough that everyone feels that they need to make a comment on it.

 

I have 4 kids, though, and I have saved many of the Jon-jons and smocked dresses in hopes that at least one of them will love the style for their own kids. ☺

Don't count on it.

[Rachel]

My brother once received a black turtleneck dickie from his great grandma. He didn't know what it was but said thanks anyway.

 

When he got home with it we all had a great laugh.

[Sarah CB]

Don't count on it.

 

Oh :( 

 

I was so pleased with the clothes my mother saved from when my sister and I were babies. I wish she had saved a few more things. We still have the same sleeper that my sister and I both came home from the hospital wearing - and every one of my kids and my sister's kids has worn it home from the hospital. We also have a few special knitted items and a few dresses. I would have loved to have more.

[Sarah CB]

My kids' grandparents are pretty amazing when it comes to clothing choices. My mom is only in her sixties and knows what the boys like. My dh's mom is the one that always astounds me - she's nearing 80 and she always hits things spot on and without a list. She ends up buying brands the boys like and manages to get the right style for the right boy. She always gets me fantastic presents, too ;) Dh's dad and x-step mom (who still buy presents together...) are also great at finding clothes the boys love. We're pretty lucky.

 

I think I remember getting a dickie from my own grandma one year, but I think I actually liked it.

[Xahm]

My older brother was born in'80, my younger in '90. The short purple shorts big brother wore at age 7 were probably not ultra-fashionable, but on little brother at the same age... he felt the pain of Quill's brother.

I've swapped a few items with a cousin the same size. Grandma has some good years and some where we wonder.

[theelfqueen]

My MIL got me jewelry again... I barely wear jewelry and again she got me earrings. My ears closed up about a decade ago. I've mentioned this repeatedly.

 

Apparently I complimented her similar necklace so that meant I would love one like it...not that I was being nice to her :)

 

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[Guest]

Oh :(

 

I was so pleased with the clothes my mother saved from when my sister and I were babies. I wish she had saved a few more things. We still have the same sleeper that my sister and I both came home from the hospital wearing - and every one of my kids and my sister's kids has worn it home from the hospital. We also have a few special knitted items and a few dresses. I would have loved to have more.

Interesting. My mother saved some of my things and I didn't get any thrill out of that at all. Nothing she saved for me was wearable again - either fragile from dry rot, or stained (some stains only turn up with time) or just too odd to be worn as real dayclothes by my own kids. I also have the family Christening gown, but it is extremely stained amd fragile and my children were not Christened. There is also one dress that my mom wore for her first wedding anniversary, and I was actually interested in seeing it on my DD just as a sort of history-relived thing, but, although DD has close to the same proportions my mother had in 1964, DD is less generously endowed in the chest. So, while the dress was one of the more interesting things she saved, it is also not useful as real clothing to be worn by any of us.

[frogger]

My kids' grandparents are pretty amazing when it comes to clothing choices. My mom is only in her sixties and knows what the boys like. My dh's mom is the one that always astounds me - she's nearing 80 and she always hits things spot on and without a list. She ends up buying brands the boys like and manages to get the right style for the right boy. She always gets me fantastic presents, too ;) Dh's dad and x-step mom (who still buy presents together...) are also great at finding clothes the boys love. We're pretty lucky.

 

I think I remember getting a dickie from my own grandma one year, but I think I actually liked it.

I think it is less about any particular style than she actually cares and notices the personalities, likes, and dislikes of those she buys for and knows them well enough to buy appropriate things versus just buying something she likes or worse purposely trying to change someone else because you don't like their style. I think that is pretty cool.

[Guest]

My kids' grandparents are pretty amazing when it comes to clothing choices. My mom is only in her sixties and knows what the boys like. My dh's mom is the one that always astounds me - she's nearing 80 and she always hits things spot on and without a list. She ends up buying brands the boys like and manages to get the right style for the right boy. She always gets me fantastic presents, too ;) Dh's dad and x-step mom (who still buy presents together...) are also great at finding clothes the boys love. We're pretty lucky.

 

I think I remember getting a dickie from my own grandma one year, but I think I actually liked it.

Some people are really amazing like that. It's certainly nice to get gifts from someone so tuned in.

[itsheresomewhere]

Interesting. My mother saved some of my things and I didn't get any thrill out of that at all. Nothing she saved for me was wearable again - either fragile from dry rot, or stained (some stains only turn up with time) or just too odd to be worn as real dayclothes by my own kids. I also have the family Christening gown, but it is extremely stained amd fragile and my children were not Christened. There is also one dress that my mom wore for her first wedding anniversary, and I was actually interested in seeing it on my DD just as a sort of history-relived thing, but, although DD has close to the same proportions my mother had in 1964, DD is less generously endowed in the chest. So, while the dress was one of the more interesting things she saved, it is also not useful as real clothing to be worn by any of us.

My mother saved her wedding dress "knowing" that her kids would wear it. It had never occurred to her that her child might not want to wear it nor that kids aren't the same size as their parents. If it had been remotely close to my taste, sizing alone would have not fit me as a nine year old.

[KungFuPanda]

Sort of off topic...but I'm always fascinated by people who buy clothes at end of season sales for the next year. How do they know what size their kids will be when that season comes?

 

I tried it once for ds. He had such a growth spurt that the clothes were way too small by the next winter. Dd4 just went from a size 4 to a 6 in one month. I just had to buy her a second fall/winter wardrobe for this year. Maybe my kids just grow too sporadically?

My kids never spurted. They had steady growth, in their percentile, from toddlerhood through teen years. Buying the next size was never that risky and dd stopped growing at 16 without ever having skipped a size in a single year.

[LucyStoner]

My MIL once sent me a pink twin set. If I don't seem like the pink twinset type; you are right. I donated it. No problem. I donate most of the clothing she sends me. The boys' great grandma usually sends them odd clothes. She's 90 years old. If she wants to send them weird clothes, so be it. She means well.

[HS Mom in NC]

My mother saved her wedding dress "knowing" that her kids would wear it. It had never occurred to her that her child might not want to wear it nor that kids aren't the same size as their parents. If it had been remotely close to my taste, sizing alone would have not fit me as a nine year old.

 

Why does anyone think this with any kind of certainty?  What bride said, "No way do I want to go shopping for my own dress.  It's mom's dress from 20-40 years ago for me. " Sure, I would've loved to have worn my grandmother's dress (it's very likely it would've fit as we had the same size and build at 20)  but she let me play dress up with it as a kid and that was fun and filled with special memories too.  I was going to have a dress made that looked almost identical to it, but we moved the wedding date up for something quick and simple because my mother was overbearing and controlling about things. I bought a dress off the rack instead.  Had she not been a PIA about the wedding it would've been nice to have one like Grandmother's made, but it's just a dress after all and it didn't happen to work out. (Shrug.)

 

Almost everyone I personally knew who got married around the time I did paid a lot of money to have their dresses preserved for their own future daughters and granddaughters.  When they mentioned it I would ask, "Oh, did you ear your mother or grandmother's dress at your wedding."  Most of them reacted as though they thought the idea was ridiculous, yet there they were, preserving their dresses just in case. People should understand that it's very unlikely that their decedent will want to wear their dress.

 

A cute kid pic is young daughter playing dress up in mom's wedding dress.  That's probably a better reason to save it instead of assuming she'll want to wear it at her own wedding.

 

[Sarah CB]

Interesting. My mother saved some of my things and I didn't get any thrill out of that at all. Nothing she saved for me was wearable again - either fragile from dry rot, or stained (some stains only turn up with time) or just too odd to be worn as real dayclothes by my own kids. I also have the family Christening gown, but it is extremely stained amd fragile and my children were not Christened. There is also one dress that my mom wore for her first wedding anniversary, and I was actually interested in seeing it on my DD just as a sort of history-relived thing, but, although DD has close to the same proportions my mother had in 1964, DD is less generously endowed in the chest. So, while the dress was one of the more interesting things she saved, it is also not useful as real clothing to be worn by any of us.

 

Maybe it's just a quirk of mine... I was in our new house today dropping off light fixtures. The two I'm most concerned with are big Tiffany style hanging lamps that were always in my childhood homes. Every time we moved, we moved the lights with us. The big one hung over our dining table. The smaller one hung over the kitchen table. 

 

I'm thrilled with the new house because it will be the first time we get to use the kitchen light in the kitchen - it's going to hang over our island. The bigger one will go downstairs over the games table. 

 

I think I just like old things ;)

 

I'm still mad at my mom for getting rid of the cherry bonnet chest.

[Sarah CB]

My mother saved her wedding dress "knowing" that her kids would wear it. It had never occurred to her that her child might not want to wear it nor that kids aren't the same size as their parents. If it had been remotely close to my taste, sizing alone would have not fit me as a nine year old.

 

I saved mine. Only because it was the one thing out of all the wedding decor/decisions/purchases that I actually cared about. 

 

I know that dd will probably want to pick out her own dress. But, it's neat to still have mine and maybe someday my grandchildren will use it for dress-up or Halloween or something.

[Sarah CB]

Some people are really amazing like that. It's certainly nice to get gifts from someone so tuned in.

 

Completely tuned in - she's bought brands the boys have never had and only wished they had. She bought me a Lululemon bag before I even knew what Lululemon was. 

 

And she's very sweet and easy to have around. I lucked out in the mil-department.

[MaeFlowers]

My kids never spurted. They had steady growth, in their percentile, from toddlerhood through teen years. Buying the next size was never that risky and dd stopped growing at 16 without ever having skipped a size in a single year.

That's pretty amazing. I guess if mine were like that I would buy ahead.

 

Mine have quick growth spurts and then stall in growth for a while. I did the same thing, though. I remember my mom getting upset on a pretty regular basis because I would outgrow school clothes a month after she bought them. She only did layaway once because the clothes that were too big in July were like shrink wrap in August.

[Guest]

Why does anyone think this with any kind of certainty? What bride said, "No way do I want to go shopping for my own dress. It's mom's dress from 20-40 years ago for me. " Sure, I would've loved to have worn my grandmother's dress (it's very likely it would've fit as we had the same size and build at 20) but she let me play dress up with it as a kid and that was fun and filled with special memories too. I was going to have a dress made that looked almost identical to it, but we moved the wedding date up for something quick and simple because my mother was overbearing and controlling about things. I bought a dress off the rack instead. Had she not been a PIA about the wedding it would've been nice to have one like Grandmother's made, but it's just a dress after all and it didn't happen to work out. (Shrug.)

 

Almost everyone I personally knew who got married around the time I did paid a lot of money to have their dresses preserved for their own future daughters and granddaughters. When they mentioned it I would ask, "Oh, did you ear your mother or grandmother's dress at your wedding." Most of them reacted as though they thought the idea was ridiculous, yet there they were, preserving their dresses just in case. People should understand that it's very unlikely that their decedent will want to wear their dress.

 

A cute kid pic is young daughter playing dress up in mom's wedding dress. That's probably a better reason to save it instead of assuming she'll want to wear it at her own wedding.

 

I agree. I have mine and it was preserved because DH's aunt owned a drycleaner chain. She preserved my gown as a gift, which she also did with all the other weddings. She did it while we were on our honeymoon. So there it is. Now I feel like I "should" keep it only because I have already kept it for twenty-two years. I also unwittingly have my mother's wedding gown, which is honestly the bigger burden.

 

DD has told me straight-up she would no way wear my gown or anyone else's. She understandably wants her own.

[Guest]

Maybe it's just a quirk of mine... I was in our new house today dropping off light fixtures. The two I'm most concerned with are big Tiffany style hanging lamps that were always in my childhood homes. Every time we moved, we moved the lights with us. The big one hung over our dining table. The smaller one hung over the kitchen table.

 

I'm thrilled with the new house because it will be the first time we get to use the kitchen light in the kitchen - it's going to hang over our island. The bigger one will go downstairs over the games table.

 

I think I just like old things ;)

 

I'm still mad at my mom for getting rid of the cherry bonnet chest.

I do like some old things. :) I love my MIL's French Provincial bedroom furniture. I have already thought about how I would want that furniture in the future if none of her children want it. (Although I would probably get a different bed because I'm spoiled on having a King.) I do love old things that tell a story.

 

One of my goals for this year is to work on a family history compilation, and the part I like best about this is the stories. :) My grandmother lived on the water in the same part of the state where my family has a vacation home. There's this great story about how my Grandmother's parents would take the family to church on Sunday morning by boat. The church is still there, as are other buildings and homes significant to my family history. So that is what I do love. :)

 

But an old box of clothes, not so much.