The Cost of Xmas versus when we were kids

[heartlikealion]

I'm not sure how I would describe my Christmases as a child. On the one hand I think they were large, but on the other I think they were reasonable. Like, I don't think Santa brought more than one item. Dh likes Santa to leave more than I feel is necessary.

 

As a kid we got items year round rather than all at once. Instead of a big back to school shopping trip, Mom would buy a few things for the beginning of the year and then we'd get items as needed. I remember getting new shoes in the middle of the school year, which others might have thought was weird but I don't think I needed them at the beginning of the year.

 

One of the biggest ticket items I remember us getting was the year our parents gave us (three girls) a Nintendo. Probably my favorite Christmas gift as a child (from Santa) was a Barbie camper. I don't know if that was considered a big ticket item then.

 

We made an ideal budget to follow this year. I sadly was not good about sticking to my goals for the kids, but the actual items were not that expensive, either. It just added up quickly because I forgot to cancel a subscription to a clothing site one time and set those items aside for Christmas. So, that pair of shoes I got ate up a chunk of the budget I had set aside for ds. I did very well staying in budget for others, even less for some, so it didn't throw things off as badly as it could have. And I'm very proud of dh for finding a $20 drone lol. Just hope it doesn't break the first day :/

 

I don't feel very intimidated by Christmas shopping for my own kids. Ds told us and Santa that he had everything he needed. He was pressured to come up with a list but he's a pretty content kid with what he has. In fact, we have unopened items from last year we didn't get around to using. Dd is two and doesn't know what's going on. The struggle is more so with dh's family that tends to spend too much on all of us. We try to get them to tone it down, but they just say they don't care what we spend and then continue to give us more than we feel comfortable receiving. I know my niece and nephew sometimes get very big ticket items from others so I don't know if they will be happy with what we got them, but we tried. My nephew usually gets Legos from a bunch of relatives, including us. I asked my SIL for gift ideas and all she said was Legos. Dh said nope, not doing it this year. I honestly think he's kinda taking the Lego sets for granted. We bought him other stuff.

 

I am a bargain shopper. Ds knows this and we literally run around the store price checking stuff and scanning with the Amazon app LOL. I think partly because of this he has a grasp of what is expensive or not. He saw a drone in Best Buy the other day for a couple hundred dollars. We told him they are expensive and Santa may or may not be able to make good on that item because he has to spread out the toys to everyone. The drone he's hoping for includes a camera so we had to explain that only very expensive ones have that feature.

 

My side of the family is pretty laid back with Christmas and doesn't even really want to exchange gifts, but we mainly do it because there are kids (mine) and my grandmother who would not be pleased if we stopped (she's 101, let's not change things up too much). I actually end up helping half the family shop for each other so it's not that exciting for me. But oh well.

[The Girls' Mom]

When I was a kid, my mom went nuts at Christmas.  WAY more than we needed or could really afford.  It was her way of making up for the rest of the year in a horribly unstable household, I guess.  Christmases were also times of great stress that usually ended in my mom in full melt-down mode.

 

Dh on the other hand, had very very modest Christmases.  His parents were very frugal, and they usually only got one "big" gift (which would be like a bb gun or something), a stocking full of toiletries and candy, and some clothes.  

 

Guess which one of us has better Christmas memories?

For our own kids, I've always kept it in a manageable range.  And now that they are teens, I still don't spend a lot.  Any bigger ticket items are generally only things they really need (like they got laptops one year, but they were cheap ones, and they didn't get much else) The things they enjoy most about Christmas are the traditions like decorating the tree and Christmas Eve with their cousins.  

 

 

[heartlikealion]

When I was a kid, my mom went nuts at Christmas.  WAY more than we needed or could really afford.  It was her way of making up for the rest of the year in a horribly unstable household, I guess.  Christmases were also times of great stress that usually ended in my mom in full melt-down mode.

 

Dh on the other hand, had very very modest Christmases.  His parents were very frugal, and they usually only got one "big" gift (which would be like a bb gun or something), a stocking full of toiletries and candy, and some clothes.  

 

Guess which one of us has better Christmas memories?

 

For our own kids, I've always kept it in a manageable range.  And now that they are teens, I still don't spend a lot.  Any bigger ticket items are generally only things they really need (like they got laptops one year, but they were cheap ones, and they didn't get much else) The things they enjoy most about Christmas are the traditions like decorating the tree and Christmas Eve with their cousins.  

 

Some of my fondest memories are sitting around the living room with family stringing popcorn chains for the tree.

 

[BrittanyM]

I have fond memories of Christmas' growing up. My parents weren't rich but got us a few things we wanted and stockings and it was special. They probably spent more than I spend on my kids, although I'm more particular on the types of toys and things my kids have. My Mom's parents spent a lot of money on us though, so we got a ton of stuff between them. My Dad's parents had a lot more grandkids and would get us something nice but not extravagant.

 

For my kids we spend about $50- $75 each between the three of them. I'm sure when they're older the amount will go up but we stick to Christmas pajamas, a fun toy or something, books and their stocking. It's very simple but my family (I have three sisters that aren't married who buy my kids gifts along with my parents and the aforementioned Grandma who still spends a lot of money at Christmas) gets my kids a LOT of stuff between them all and I can't handle tons of junk and toys. Plus two of my kids have birthdays the same week as Christmas so it's gift overload! And then DH's parents get them usually something around $30 each so they're plenty spoiled in my opinion and they don't seem to feel like they're lacking from what I can see!

 

 

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[rocassie]

DH and I have to find a balancing act between his desire for a big Christmas and my desire for a meaningful Christmas.  His desire to have lots of presents to put under the tree and unwrap lots of things  just for the sake of having a lot seems wasteful to me because at that point the kids aren't even interested in a lot of it.  On the other hand, I can be pretty stingy when it comes to our Christmas budget.  It's not to much stress between the two of us, but it's a discussion every year.  Thankfully we are both okay with giving used (especially books and vintage toys) or handmade gifts which allows him to have more presents and I can make that budget stretch a little further.  My oldest is 9 so it will probably change but it works for now.

 

My favorite thing that has worked out so far it that the kids may take all day to open their gifts because they will want to play with whatever toy they just opened.  Plus this helped in those very young years when they got overwhelmed quickly.  Last year we got a new board game for the family.  As soon as that was opened all the kids wanted to play it so while breakfast was finishing, we set it up and played.  Following that the kids went back to opening gifts.  I think the last gift got opened right after dinner.

 

It has been fun to see how different everyone celebrates.  

[MeghansMom]

I recall one year as a single parent-no child support from my ex-husband-working two jobs until the engine went up in my car and needing help.

I put my son in an Angel Tree program. He had asked for power rangers, a matchbox race car set and kid size tools that really worked. He was picked and the person who picked him included those things-several PR toys and the MB racecar set with several cars. They got him some little tools and a kit to build a birdhouse and a toolbox. They also included PR pjs and slippers!! They included wrapping paper, tags and tape. :) I was crying happy tears. Makes me cry happy tears right now.

 

I had extravagant Christmases as a child. I do like to splurge on holidays, however just not monetarily.

 

When our older kids were younger, we could get the three boys a game system an each of them a game or two. Made it cheaper to split the game system three ways. I recall one year for black Friday we were able to score an xbox and three games for like a hundred or so. They would complain because they felt their sister received more, but she always asked for small things like a jewelry box, a doll, coloring set, etc.

[Garga]

Growing up, my Christmases were quite poor. My mother has no qualms against giving used goods as gifts and this was how the majority of our gifts came. Even now, as adults, the vast majority of gifts to us are second-hand or handmade. My mother also believes that the fun is in having a lot of stufff to open (or else that was a way to mollify herself), so she would wrap up a lot of pretty silly necessities or very inexpensive treats as gifts. We usually got pencils, folders, a pack of notebook paper, underwear and socks. We often got a giant candy cane, a giant Hershey Kiss, or a box of sugar cereal we usually didn't have. (Although I am actually considering doing the cereal thing because my boys will think it's hillarious to open their very own box of Lucky Charms!)

 

Mom also would do "clever" gift-wrapping tricks to both increase the visual impact of the gifts and prolong the "fun" of unwrapping. A tiny present was likely to be wrapped sequentially in increasingly larger boxes as a joke. A popcorn ball was a common stocking stuffer, no doubt because it took up a lot of space.

 

My extended family were not people of means, either, so any gifts coming from my aunts or grandparents were often small and insignificant. I remember a specific unicorn book my grandmother gave me because I think it was the only gift I really flipped over that came from her. My father's family -- i don't think we ever saw them for Christmas or any holiday. I'm rather certain there were never gifts from them (or to them).

 

I actually have a lot of unhappy memories about our paltry Christmases, although I have some fond memories as well. My mother made us matching pajamas for several years when we were small. Dad would take us to drive around and look at Christmas lights. We did always bake a bazillion cookies. So those were happy things. But it was definitely a stinger as I got into my teens and my friends would call me Christmas morning and report all the clothes, hope chest items, jewelry, hair and makeup goodies and games they got for Christmas. And I was trying to sound enthusiastic about the dime-store glass cat figurine I got. I might have said "crystal cat."

 

I have endeavored for my kids to have much more satisfying Christmases than I did. It's not that I make it lavish, but I always make sure each kid has at least one "WOW!" gift; at least one thing they can play with or use right away that is not practical or something they needed anyway. Sometimes they do get things they need, like snow boots or hats as well, but I never wrap up paltry things that are required for school anyway.

 

 

Yes!  This was me!!!!  My mother has a bunch of amazing qualities so I don't want to bad-mouth her, but when it came to Christmas, I could have written your post: lots of dinky gifts that I didn't really like or want, wrapped separately under the tree.  I would act grateful and then feel guilty because I didn't feel grateful.  

 

When my kids were small my mother said to me, "Well, kids don't really want one good thing.  They'd rather have a bunch of small cheap things," and I was thinking, "No no no!  No!"  I didn't say anything because it was too late by then.

 

I also feel like I want to provide nice gifts for the kids that they'll honestly love without having to pretend and then feel guilty that they didn't love them.  

Edited December 5, 2016 by Garga

[Guest]

I've still never bought a video game or headphones that exceeded $30 - I dream about some nice, bone conduction headphones someday but budgets of the real world mean that won't be happening anytime soon. I'll still have a nice Christmas and so will the kids :D

[SKL]

Until my kids were 4 or 5, it took them forever to open the gifts.  When they were little, they got tired of it and it wasn't fun for them after the first few gifts.  I like the idea of letting them take their sweet time, but we never stay home all day on Christmas.  When we're in town, we go to my parents' house (along with my siblings' families), where the kids get a ton more gifts.  Other years our international travel starts on Christmas.  Sometimes we do both - visit the folks and then zip off to the airport.

 

In contrast, when I was young, my family pretty much stayed home all day on Christmas.  We had fewer gifts and all day to play with them.  Part of me wishes I could do that for my kids, though most of me says it's not better or worse, just different.

 

One year we did Christmas a day early, due to our travel plans.  That was more laid back than our usual.  Unfortunately, it was also the last full work day before we flew out to God-knows-where, so I spent it sitting at my computer, periodically connecting with my kids as they checked out their gifts.  I told the kids they could watch movies all day, provided they were the Christmas DVDs I'd collected.

[tm919]

It's amazing the difference in expectations and perspectives... to me $350 seems fine for a teenager (I think someone gave that figure before?). 

 

I think one big difference is that some families save up things to give for Christmas they wouldn't at other times, others buy year round. I tend to be in the former category so I spent "a lot" on Christmas. The big things are for Christmas and birthdays, but I know families who do otherwise... e.g., 

 

*my daughters are getting 2ds-es + pokemon sun/moon as their "santa" gifts for Christmas ($80 each). Their friend got a 3ds and moon on release day ($250) but less on Christmas.

*my older daughter has been asking for a microscope, instead of buying it "for school" she'll get it for Christmas. So that makes Christmas more expensive.  

*my older daughter (again) limped through a spanish class with a spanish-english dictionary from the library she kept renewing, she is getting (for us) her own for Christmas

 

So basically if I bought when they wanted/needed, I'd spend $0 on Christmas. :p

[Bluegoat]

I can see that. Ok

 

 

Yep. Very true.

 

And telling the poster her expenditures were atypical (really really not, IME) and unecessary was not perfectly nice.

 

The thing I found odd was the idea that things like sports equipment aren't real gifts because they are needs rather than wants.  IDK - to me that suggests an odd idea about what a need really is.  And wants have been considered Christmas gift-fodder for many people for many many years. 

 

I can see it not being a preference, to give a bike or skates for CHristmas, but OTOH it does seem a little like as a principle that is a little  - I don't know, not quite right - like people need frivolous purchases to be happy and complete.

[Arcadia]

The thing I found odd was the idea that things like sports equipment aren't real gifts because they are needs rather than wants. IDK - to me that suggests an odd idea about what a need really is.

I think a gift can fall under a need or a want. My aunts gifted me a wallet and watch when I started elementary school. It was the norm to buy lunch in the school canteen and take the public buses home, so wallet and watch are common needs.

 

Sports equipment falling under needs or wants depends on each family and kid though. Like we wanted our kids to learn golf and tennis. Golf and tennis is what we want our kids to try, so we need to get our kids the golf clubs and tennis racquets. Our kids have no interest in learning. They didn't ask for any sports lessons. The only thing they asked for was a $10 soccer ball to kick ball at the neighborhood park. If we ever sign them up for soccer classes, whatever equipment they need will be a cost we sign up ourselves for as parents. The want aspect is on us, while the need aspect would be on the instructor and/or center rules.

Edited December 5, 2016 by Arcadia

[fraidycat]

The thing I found odd was the idea that things like sports equipment aren't real gifts because they are needs rather than wants. IDK - to me that suggests an odd idea about what a need really is. And wants have been considered Christmas gift-fodder for many people for many many years.

 

I can see it not being a preference, to give a bike or skates for CHristmas, but OTOH it does seem a little like as a principle that is a little - I don't know, not quite right - like people need frivolous purchases to be happy and complete.

Once again, if a person chooses to participate in the Christmas/gift hoopla, THEY get to decide how they participate.

 

The poster who chose to include sports equipment in need vs. want category has every right to do so, for her family.

 

People telling her it's unnecessary and odd = straight up rude.

 

Period.

 

Christmas is not necessary. At all. Ever. So the judgement flying around about someone "doing it wrong" is flat out ludicrous.

 

I get that the poster asked a question that many found offensive. But she ASKED a question - she didn't tell anyone they were doing Christmas wrong.

 

"Frugality" is not a high horse to be ridden on just because someone else has more means and chooses to be "frivolous".

Edited December 6, 2016 by fraidycat

[SKL]

My kids so far have never been impressed with sports equipment for Christmas.  :P  I suppose that's partly because they are used to getting their sports stuff all year long, and partly because it was my idea, not theirs, to sign up for most of the sports.

 

If I had kids who got excited about such things, sure I'd wrap them up for Christmas - especially if none of the traditional gifts were likely to be a hit.

[Bluegoat]

Once again, if a person chooses to participate in the Christmas/gift hoopla, THEY get to decide how they participate.

 

The poster who chose to include sports equipment in need vs. want category has every right to do so, for her family.

 

People telling her it's unnecessary and odd = straight up rude.

 

Period.

 

Christmas is not necessary. At all. Ever. So the judgement flying around about someone "doing it wrong" is flat out ludicrous.

 

I get that the poster asked a question that many found offensive. But she ASKED a question - she didn't tell anyone they were doing Christmas wrong.

 

"Frugality" is not a high horse to be ridden on just because someone else has more means to be "frivolous" with.

 

I did not suggest that people cannot choose to give only "wants" for CHristmas.  That's a straw man and I don't think it was what people reactedto in that post at all.

 

There is a difference between choosing to give only wants, or luxeries, or crazy expensive things, and saying that Christmas is about giving wants rather than needs, and furthermore calling what are leisure products needs.  Which is what the post said.  It wasn't a limited statement about preference.

 

Sports equipment is, in no one's world, a need, unless they are making a living from them.  It is a want.  Some families may treat it as basic stuff they buy just as par for the course, not what they like to give as gifts.  That's fine.

 

It still isn't a need, ice-skates, or ballet shoes, or a hockey stick, are all recreational products.

 

And the fact is that basic things, like clothes or snow boots, have been given as gifts as long as they've been exchanged for Christmas at all. 

 

The whole post, while I think it was honestly meant, seemed pretty clueless about

Edited December 5, 2016 by Bluegoat

[fraidycat]

I did not suggest that people cannot choose to give only "wants" for CHristmas. That's a straw man and I don't think it was what people reactedto in that post at all.

 

There is a difference between choosing to give only wants, or luxeries, or crazy expensive things, and saying that Christmas is about giving wants rather than needs,IN HER FAMILY and furthermore calling what are leisure products needs. Which is what the post said. It wasn't a limited statement about preference.

 

Sports equipment is, in no one's world, a need, unless they are making a living from them. It is a want. Some families may treat it as basic stuff they buy just as par for the course, not what they like to give as gifts. That's fine.

 

It still isn't a need, ice-skates, or ballet shoes, or a hockey stick, are all recreational products.

 

And the fact is that basic things, like clothes or snow boots, have been given as gifts as long as they've been exchanged for Christmas at all.

 

The whole post, while I think it was honestly meant, seemed pretty clueless about

There. Fixed that for you.

 

What you DID "suggest" is that the poster was "wrong, in principle". I said nothing about wants or needs. I said each person gets to choose what they give as gifts. And that anybody who says another person does it wrong is rude.

 

However, I've made my point more than once now. I'm done.

Edited December 6, 2016 by fraidycat

[Zinnia]

We give nicer sports equipment for Christmas. One child wants a better practice (soccer ) goal and another would like a backpack for baseball stuff. He carried his equipment to games last year in a bag.