Helping a friend--astrology related

[MEmama]

 

Deleted for privacy.

 

Thanks to everyone who could offer advice and insight.

Edited November 24, 2016 by MEmama

[MercyA]

Do you know if she has any religious beliefs other than in astrology?

[Spryte]

Since she's on antidepressants and still struggling, I wonder if she might benefit from a doseage change or a med change? Is that something you can talk about with her? Does she have a therapist, especially while on meds? Can you ask, "what does (therapist's name) say about that?" Or if she's talked about it? I know with some friends we can't ask those questions, but with some we can.

 

On the antidepressants - the weight issue could be a result. I was on an ad for ten years, for pain. Since getting off, my eating habits and weight have drastically changed.

 

I can't help with the astrological issue. It sounds like they are playing into her fear and anxiety. That's so hard!

[MEmama]

Do you know if she has any religious beliefs other than in astrology?

She struggles with it. She doesn't have a true belief in a god, it's more that she has an underlying fear not to believe, if that makes sense. The fear is a direct result of her upbringing.

[MEmama]

Since she's on antidepressants and still struggling, I wonder if she might benefit from a doseage change or a med change? Is that something you can talk about with her? Does she have a therapist, especially while on meds? Can you ask, "what does (therapist's name) say about that?" Or if she's talked about it? I know with some friends we can't ask those questions, but with some we can.

 

On the antidepressants - the weight issue could be a result. I was on an ad for ten years, for pain. Since getting off, my eating habits and weight have drastically changed.

 

I can't help with the astrological issue. It sounds like they are playing into her fear and anxiety. That's so hard!

That's a good point re the antidepressants. I think I can talk to her about it, but I don't know much about them. Can doses be changed temporarily, to see her through a rough time? I didn't know her medication could be affecting her food issues. I'll bring it up. Thank you.

[maize]

That's a good point re the antidepressants. I think I can talk to her about it, but I don't know much about them. Can doses be changed temporarily, to see her through a rough time? I didn't know her medication could be affecting her food issues. I'll bring it up. Thank you.

I would hesitate to bring up a weight gain as a side effect of medication, if she decides medication is responsible for her weight issues she might stop taking it, which could be a disaster.

 

It does sound like the medication she is on is not adequately addressing her anxiety and depression. She needs to be working closely with a psychiatrist (or psychiatric nurse practitioner) to find a medication and dosage that works for her, and also needs to be meeting regularly with a good therapist.

[umsami]

I agree about modifying the meds, but regarding the astrology, maybe substituting something else? I have a friend whose into a lot of that stuff, and she really likes Doreen Virtue's Angel Cards.  They are always positive in nature.  No negative.  So maybe offering this as a gift, might cause her to use them and move away from the negative?  https://www.amazon.com/Daily-Guidance-Angels-Oracle-Cards/dp/1401907725/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1479914715&sr=8-1&keywords=doreen+virtue+angel+cards

[goldberry]

She struggles with it. She doesn't have a true belief in a god, it's more that she has an underlying fear not to believe, if that makes sense. The fear is a direct result of her upbringing.

 

No good advice to offer, just such sadness for your friend.  :grouphug:

[El...]

I wouldn't talk about the astrology at all.  I'd focus on the depression, and try to get her to go in for a checkup of her meds.  She might (or might not) grow out of the fascination as she becomes more stable, but what I hear there is depression not under control.  I would say exactly NOTHING about her weight/eating.  That is a side-effect of misery.

[gardenmom5]

I agree with addressing the physical - stability there can bring stability of beliefs.

 

another thing to check - since it does sound like her meds aren't working. has she ever had a full thyroid work-up?  it can cause weight, it can cause depression, and if it's really bad - it can cause emotional/mental instability.  can often be linked to adrenals, which just exacerbates things.   stopthethyroidmadness.com is the site for more information.

[MEmama]

I would hesitate to bring up a weight gain as a side effect of medication, if she decides medication is responsible for her weight issues she might stop taking it, which could be a disaster.

 

It does sound like the medication she is on is not adequately addressing her anxiety and depression. She needs to be working closely with a psychiatrist (or psychiatric nurse practitioner) to find a medication and dosage that works for her, and also needs to be meeting regularly with a good therapist.

I think she does see a therapist, but we haven't talked about that for awhile. It might be time for me to check in. She's a doctor, but doesn't always get the best care for herself. It's tricky keeping things private while living in a small community.

[MEmama]

I agree about modifying the meds, but regarding the astrology, maybe substituting something else? I have a friend whose into a lot of that stuff, and she really likes Doreen Virtue's Angel Cards. They are always positive in nature. No negative. So maybe offering this as a gift, might cause her to use them and move away from the negative? https://www.amazon.com/Daily-Guidance-Angels-Oracle-Cards/dp/1401907725/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1479914715&sr=8-1&keywords=doreen+virtue+angel+cards

Those do look interesting. I'll think about that, maybe run it by her husband for his perspective. Thank you.

[MEmama]

I wouldn't talk about the astrology at all. I'd focus on the depression, and try to get her to go in for a checkup of her meds. She might (or might not) grow out of the fascination as she becomes more stable, but what I hear there is depression not under control. I would say exactly NOTHING about her weight/eating. That is a side-effect of misery.

You're right, the over eating is definitely a side effect. Without getting political, everyone I know is really struggling right now. But her tendency toward depression and anxiety combined with the damage from her childhood is making keeping her head above water that much more challenging. I will check in with her on her meds and perhaps gently suggest tweaking them. Prior to a couple weeks ago they had been helping her tremendously, but now she's on the edge.

 

The astrology is a negative right now because it feeds her fears. She is also unable to keep away from the news, and they are working in tandem to confirm the dire warnings from her upbringing.

[MEmama]

I agree with addressing the physical - stability there can bring stability of beliefs.

 

another thing to check - since it does sound like her meds aren't working. has she ever had a full thyroid work-up? it can cause weight, it can cause depression, and if it's really bad - it can cause emotional/mental instability. can often be linked to adrenals, which just exacerbates things. stopthethyroidmadness.com is the site for more information.

I'll ask, I'm not sure. Thank you for the suggestion.

[TranquilMind]

Those do look interesting. I'll think about that, maybe run it by her husband for his perspective. Thank you.

It says right in the description that these are a "divination tool". Not a direction I would ever take, as it differs little from her current interest.

 

I hope everything works out.

[gardenmom5]

I'll ask, I'm not sure. Thank you for the suggestion.

for the thyroid stuff.  there's been lots of information on the hive about what to look at.  (made a difference  for me vs listening to my dr.)

 

here's the stop the thyroid madness list of labs   http://www.stopthethyroidmadness.com/recommended-labwork/

  

it includes four iron labs, vitamin d3, b12, etc.  all things that will affect thyroid.  also which thyroid numbers are helpful  free t3, free t4 are the most important.  (my dr rarely runs reverse t3, but she did because I asked.   it was fine.)

[SparklyUnicorn]

That's very challenging!  It's pretty scary to think how relatively easily we are brainwashed to the point of having what would basically be called a mental illness. 

 

I don't really have advice.

 

 

[zoobie]

I would suspect maybe she's misdiagnosed with depression and it's really bipolar II with some paranoia. Not much you can do other than encourage her to revisit a psychiatrist and get meds tweaked.

[maize]

That's very challenging! It's pretty scary to think how relatively easily we are brainwashed to the point of having what would basically be called a mental illness.

 

I don't really have advice.

It could just as easily work the other way around. Maybe the parents themselves had mental health problems that led them to seek out cult life, and the daughter was genetically pre-disposed and would have developed issues regardless of the cult background.

[gaillardia]

she needs you, even if she thinks she doesn't. I hope you can stay close to her.

 

Someone I know recently said that even with all of his problems (anxiety, depression, PTSD), he can still do some good in this world and will try harder to be kinder, smile at strangers, open doors, just making a positive difference for others. We never know what is hiding under someone else's sad eyes or fake smile. 

Thank you for being a friend. I know how hard it can be when dealing with others' mental illness.

[SparklyUnicorn]

It could just as easily work the other way around. Maybe the parents themselves had mental health problems that led them to seek out cult life, and the daughter was genetically pre-disposed and would have developed issues regardless of the cult background.

 

Yes, very true.  One symptom my mother had was she was very superstitious.  She would easily fall into believing any little thing had caused something bad (like if the plug in the tub was put on the wrong side...she was very obsessed with the plug for some reason). 

[Bluegoat]

I think that while it's true that metal illness can feed into the problems with astrology/fears, the astrology may be playing an active role as well and impacting things the other way.  Beliefs like astrology can create a worldview that makes people feel really powerless, and paired with a tendency to look for the end times and such, I think it could be actually pretty crippling. 

 

So while doctors could and should carry on with medication and talk therapy, some kind of better theological system, or spiritual support, might also be really helpful.  Those things are generally talking more about meaning, which IMO is actually important for people struggling with depression. 

 

That is something people have to make an effort at themselves which is tricky in a way if you are looking to help another person, but then they also have to invest in things like therapy.    I think that would be better than moving her on to another thing that is similar to astrology, even if it tends to be more positive in outlook.

[MEmama]

she needs you, even if she thinks she doesn't. I hope you can stay close to her.

 

Someone I know recently said that even with all of his problems (anxiety, depression, PTSD), he can still do some good in this world and will try harder to be kinder, smile at strangers, open doors, just making a positive difference for others. We never know what is hiding under someone else's sad eyes or fake smile.

Thank you for being a friend. I know how hard it can be when dealing with others' mental illness.

Thank you. Your words are very kind, and during a time I really need to hear them.