If you have a kid who needs to be worked hard...(gymnastics content) Advice please?

[JumpyTheFrog]

Tigger loves gymnastics and should be competing level 6 this year. The gym blindsighted us all this weekend with an announcement (1-2 weeks before the new season's contract is due) that his coach is leaving and all the boys would be lumped in with the high school boys. The other coach is very good, but that is too many boys (and ages and levels) for his style practice and just won't work for an impulsive 10 year old whose ability to stay on track lags his age.

 

So I started asking Tigger if he'd like to switch to soccer. He immediately said, "No way!" But later in the day he said he did want to change.

 

The gym had a parent meeting Monday night and now it looks like a guy who has been volunteering with the older boys several days per week might be ready to commit to being an employee and coach Tigger's level. This coach works with Cirque du Soleil, so he has even more experience than the coach that is leaving. So now, rather than being lumped in a group that is too big, Tigger might end up with an even better coach than he had.

 

A few weeks ago DH was asking if we should really continue with gymnastics because of the huge time commitment. Unfortunately, now Tigger is insisting that he wants to do soccer instead of gymnastics, and DH is thinking it wouldn't be a good idea. Tigger is a very intense kid...one that NEEDS to be worked hard. In three years of competing, he has never once complained about how much they have to do at practice. Even the night he had to do a total of 60 handstand pushups he didn't complain. This is significant because he is generally a complainy, argumentative kid about almost anything else (except soccer, but nobody's ever pushed hard in that).

 

I was trying to help Tigger think through the decision carefully and I had him make a pro/con list. Unfortunately, he is really, really not introspective. When my 7 year old decided to not pursue gymnastics anymore, I knew he'd thought it over carefully. But with Tigger, he just says he likes soccer more. He says he'll miss trampoline, but nothing else. He says he won't miss his friends there either. I find these things hard to believe because this is a kid who went into gymnastics "withdrawal" a few months ago when practice was canceled and he went three days without going to the gym.

 

The first meet of the season is in November. Do we let him quit and do soccer and see if he misses it and use it as a learning experience? DH thinks he might be too young/immature to make a careful decision. He thinks all the extra free time will cause more chaos and bad attitudes, since he is one of those kids with super high energy that needs to be kept busy.

[JumpyTheFrog]

DH thinks that if it weren't for the gym's poor planning and us thinking we'd have to quit because of the coaching situation that Tigger never would've wanted to quit to do soccer instead. He's almost certainly right.

[JumpyTheFrog]

If we did do soccer, it would be one indoor game and one indoor practice per week. So two hours total. We could do some extra clinics and bring it up to three hours per week. Gymnastics is 12.5 hours per week.

[SKL]

I might do both.  Where I live, soccer is over by the beginning of November, so he'd still need something to do after that.

 

Could he try a more limited gymnastics schedule just during soccer season?  Or would that make it impossible for him to compete?

[SKL]

I think the real question is, how important is it to your family that he compete?

[JumpyTheFrog]

He is one of those kids who is naturally very sloppy and inattentive to detail. One thing we like about gymnastics is that it forces you to slow down and do everything perfectly. I always thought putting him in was one of the best decisions we've made for him.

[Arcadia]

I'll do both or stay with gym. 2hrs is too little compare to 12.5 hrs. My friend's daughter is also high physical energy. The 9 year old homeschooler does hours of tennis every day until she is tired, then she can finally sit and study.

 

ETA

She is not participating in any tennis competition. It is just that they have easy access to free to use tennis courts in the daytime near their home.

Edited August 31, 2016 by Arcadia

[SKL]

Yes, if you take him out of gym you will be looking for something else for him to do 5 days a week.

 

My kid needs that much exercise too.  We are not competitive so we do a variety of different things.

[MysteryJen]

I would do both or stay with gym. I also have a high energy kid and that is not nearly enough soccer to make up for gymnastics. Two sports (as money and time permit) are great.

 

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[slackermom]

DD12 does about 10 hours of dance class each week, plus competitions once or twice per month. She would not do well cutting back her activity level to just trying another sport a couple of hours per week, especially if that sport does not go year-round.

 

You have a bit of a pickle in that your ds has stated he prefers soccer when this option was offered. In that case, I would try to let him sample soccer, but I would not cut ties with the gym.

[KungFuPanda]

I'd let him switch.  He can always supplement with running if he needs more exercise and it would only help him in soccer.  

[Melissa B]

I'd do both. I have a son that needs that much exercise. I keep him in three programs. Together they total about 15-18 hours weekly plus games/meets. When even one program ends for a while his behavior noticeably dips.

[fdrinca]

Replying as a fellow gym mom:

 

Can you do an extra competitive sport during season? At our gym that's prohibited. If you **can,** perhaps let him try a season of soccer while continuing gymnastics.

 

Can you schedule a week "off" to show him what it might feel like? Taking off too much time before season isn't a good idea, I know, but if he doesn't understand what it feels like to have the gym out of his life, it will be more difficult to make this decision.

 

Otherwise, I'd not let him quit. Based on what you've mentioned, and my own experience with a similar-sounding boy, gymnastics has the potential to do so much good for your kiddo. 

 

I've told DH that if our son can transition to long-distance running or swimming if he decides he's finished with gymnastics. That boy needs SO MUCH MOVEMENT during the day.

[kroe1]

This is just day one, right? Let him sleep on it a bit. Take him to a few lessons with the new coach and then ask again if he wants to switch to soccer.

[Jackie]

Not all one sport, but DD currently is scheduled for 8-10 hours of physical activity per week. She's not competitive in anything, but I would not reduce that time for anything. With less time, she quickly becomes a very difficult child and it is horrible for both her and me. Currently, she has pretty free rein over extracurriculars, but with a strict rule that there must be a minimum of one hour per day of physical activity scheduled I'm.

[busymotherof4]

I would try to add soccer if possible even if you have to cut back at gym for a bit. Gymnastics has done so much for my boys that I wouldn't want them to quit unless they didn't like it anymore. My 15 year old will be competing level 10 this year and gymnastics has really helped him become so responsible. His work ethic has grown a ton also. I didn't see a big difference until he was 12 or so (level 6). We are seeing growth in my 10 year old also. He has a bigger distance to go. Gymnastics is a great sport for kids with a lot of energy. It is helping my son's ADHD. I would probably do one more competition season and see what happens. Maybe he will want to quit but maybe he will fall in love with it.

[Ailaena]

Stay with gym. You sound like you know what he needs, but feel bad because it may seem like you're forcing him. But you do know what is best. If anything, maybe agree that you can re-evaluate after the season? Isn't the biggest jump for boys between levels 6 and 7? Maybe it's 7 and 8, I can never remember :(

 

Fwiw, my dd was a competitive gymnast AND climber. In retrospect, I don't remember sleeping much :p So you may be able to tack on some rec soccer (although soccer is often a sport that coaches really don't want you to participate in due to injuries so maybe ask your coaches).

[Sneezyone]

USAG...start here, go anywhere. We're in a similar predicament here as the facility/coaching available OCONUS leaves much to be desired and DD is supposed to compete level 7 this year. She wants to quit and try soccer (she's never played a day in her life and has no idea how...she's also mildly asthmatic so how's that going to work??). I've convinced her to wait until after L7 before making a decision and to try soccer as a school intramural this year. If she likes it, she can switch. If she doesn't, she can try something else while continuing gym. This is my ACTIVE kid who needs to get her wiggles out and stay busy. Otherwise, she's up all night, trying random, horrible ideas in my kitchen and driving the rest of us nuts with nonstop chatter.