Burnout

[Forget-Me-Not]

I'm burned out.  BURNED OUT.  This has been a rough year.  As much as I hate to admit it, we had a lot of just math and piano days with very little else.  All my kids have math left that will probably take them to the end of June if we keep working consistently every day, but I am just so tired and burned out it's hard to face it every day.  My oldest (13) wants to rush through everything to get to the video games, so he makes careless mistakes then behaves as if it's my fault when I correct his work and make him re-do things.  My second oldest (almost 11) wants to be babysat.  If I don't sit there, at the table with her, she doodles and stares into space (this is year-long, btw, not end of year tired of schoolwork stuff).  I'm so over it.  If I sit there and play on my phone, she does her work, but I can't walk 10 feet away and load the dishwasher or start a load of laundry.  My 7 yo actively avoids schoolwork and will hide from me and take advantage of every distraction.  She has been completely defiant and argumentative.  My 3 yo is a constant interruption and distraction, whether he wants a snack NOW or needs help in the potty NOW or whatever it is  he needs NOW RIGHT NOW, thankyouverymuch.  I'm just tapped out.  I cannot fathom doing this for another year.  But even more, I cannot fathom putting them back into school.  I don't even know what I'm looking for here.  I don't know how to get rid of this burned out feeling and get excited about another year of homeschooling.  I'm exhausted down to my core. 

Edited May 26, 2016 by Forget-me-not

[gaillardia]

:grouphug: you didn't ask for advice so I tread lightly...I am burned out too in different ways and my kids are all older now. 

The best thing that worked for me was enforcing what I said.

Kid has to do all of this (chores, schoolwork and helping with the other kids and pets) before free time is allowed.

Other kid can do her work while you're working with another kid nearby.

Little one has to step up as well.

This is the deal, kids. Plus the reward at the end of the day, or week, can be suspended.

Or they can't play with friend in the neighborhood, or whatever. 

Take a bath, listen to some music, time with dh, get a babysitter, do something for yourself.

Take the time to enforce no electronics for a day or more if needed. 

A picnic...a hike...

 

[happi duck]

I never did "school at home" but we did have our own set times. The set time was most helpful for me so I stuck to teaching during school hours instead of trying to fit everything in.

 

Set times also helped the kids because there was no point in rushing.

[Arcadia]

:grouphug: you have two teens and two youngers. It is not surprising you are tired.

 

I had my mom come and help when my youngest took up most of my time and I only have two.

 

Do you know why your 7 year old is avoiding school work? My kids do give sloppy work when their hearts are elsewhere but they avoid work that feels boring.

 

I used to wake my oldest up only after youngest is done with work. That way i could concentrafe on getting DS10 to stay on task while DS11 gets his sleep.

 

Routine and checklists help a lot for my kids.

[heartlikealion]

:grouphug:

 

For my own personal records I circle school days based on if we got enough done minutes wise and/or material wise. Many days I didn't circle because we only did like one thing. So I looked it over and we'd need a lot of days to get to my goal and it really upsets me because there's no time. I'm just hoping we can finish our math soon. We're finishing up ch. 8 and there are 10 chapters. : /

 

I have to babysit my 8 yr old! Next week he begins meeting with a college student twice a week. I figure maybe this way I can focus on the toddler and someone else can oversee his school for a few hours a week.

 

I hope you can wrap things up soon and take a breather.

[domestic_engineer]

:grouphug:

Some ideas to toss around for the here and now:  

• Spend a school day (or two or three) in nature.
• Spend a school day volunteering/doing something for others.
• Put the math aside until next school year to avoid a short summer.  There's no law that says you have to finish the book in a year, and plus it's fun to finish a book a month into the new school year!

:grouphug:  :grouphug:

[Minerva]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[Amira]

:grouphug:

[Forget-Me-Not]

Thanks for the kind words all  :001_wub: Things aren't looking quite so bleak this morning.  I think we will probably try to finish the month out with math and then declare it summer break.  My oldest wants to do another round of pre-algebra before jumping into algebra anyway, so I'm not fussed if he doesn't finish the book.  I've got some ideas to mix things up next year.  I think mostly what we all need is just a vacation from school though.  

[Carra]

Hugs.

When I'm really tired I take royal jelly 10 days a month or fresh yeast like 7 days every other week. Also magnesium citrate is helpful. Only in the morning, otherwise can interfere with sleep, except for yest which you can take at noon also. Research it to see if it's good for you.Less caffeine and more sleep also helps.

[Valley Girl]

I'm burned out.  BURNED OUT.  This has been a rough year.  As much as I hate to admit it, we had a lot of just math and piano days with very little else.  All my kids have math left that will probably take them to the end of June if we keep working consistently every day, but I am just so tired and burned out it's hard to face it every day.  My oldest (13) wants to rush through everything to get to the video games, so he makes careless mistakes then behaves as if it's my fault when I correct his work and make him re-do things.  My second oldest (almost 11) wants to be babysat.  If I don't sit there, at the table with her, she doodles and stares into space (this is year-long, btw, not end of year tired of schoolwork stuff).  I'm so over it.  If I sit there and play on my phone, she does her work, but I can't walk 10 feet away and load the dishwasher or start a load of laundry.  My 7 yo actively avoids schoolwork and will hide from me and take advantage of every distraction.  She has been completely defiant and argumentative.  My 3 yo is a constant interruption and distraction, whether he wants a snack NOW or needs help in the potty NOW or whatever it is  he needs NOW RIGHT NOW, thankyouverymuch.  I'm just tapped out.  I cannot fathom doing this for another year.  But even more, I cannot fathom putting them back into school.  I don't even know what I'm looking for here.  I don't know how to get rid of this burned out feeling and get excited about another year of homeschooling.  I'm exhausted down to my core. 

 

I understand the burnout. May I share what I'm doing with my own kid who rushes through work to get to the fun activities? This year I made a rule that there would be no electronic games until after a certain time. If he finished early, great. He still had to wait. That did help reduce at least some of the rushing because there was no reward in it for him. Surprisingly, there were even a handful of times that he worked past that point in order to get something done. (It didn't solve the issue of wasting time during the day, however.)

 

[Chrysalis Academy]

I'm burned out.  BURNED OUT.  This has been a rough year.  As much as I hate to admit it, we had a lot of just math and piano days with very little else.  All my kids have math left that will probably take them to the end of June if we keep working consistently every day, but I am just so tired and burned out it's hard to face it every day.  My oldest (13) wants to rush through everything to get to the video games, so he makes careless mistakes then behaves as if it's my fault when I correct his work and make him re-do things.  My second oldest (almost 11) wants to be babysat.  If I don't sit there, at the table with her, she doodles and stares into space (this is year-long, btw, not end of year tired of schoolwork stuff).  I'm so over it.  If I sit there and play on my phone, she does her work, but I can't walk 10 feet away and load the dishwasher or start a load of laundry.  My 7 yo actively avoids schoolwork and will hide from me and take advantage of every distraction.  She has been completely defiant and argumentative.  My 3 yo is a constant interruption and distraction, whether he wants a snack NOW or needs help in the potty NOW or whatever it is  he needs NOW RIGHT NOW, thankyouverymuch.  I'm just tapped out.  I cannot fathom doing this for another year.  But even more, I cannot fathom putting them back into school.  I don't even know what I'm looking for here.  I don't know how to get rid of this burned out feeling and get excited about another year of homeschooling.  I'm exhausted down to my core. 

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[Ms Brooks]

Maybe a structured, outside activity? I know, it is adding more burden. Sports!

 

I wish I had a magic pill that would make it all work  :chillpill: .

 

Your post is an honest post. I think more homeschooling days are like what you describe than some perfect, box checking day. If your days are going south, give them a book and have them read without distractions (No listening to music on the iPod), on the couch, everyone in the same room quiet. Talk about the reading.

[freesia]

SWB has an awesome burnout talk that you can download. I cried through it a couple of years ago ( I'm doing much better now, btw, tired but not burned out)

 

If you're at all like me I agree you should finish math. You should also step back and try to evaluate the discipline structure of your household. When I am surrounded by the attitude you are experiencing I ask myself if I am just nagging or chastising bad attitudes and behavior or are ther actual consequences that happen before I am totally annoyed.

 

Also, self care, self care, self care.

 

My youngest if four us also younger by four years and she did that type if thing because she needed and wanted attention. I schooled 5-6 weeks on, one week off and spent a ton of time with her that week. I let her watch an hour of PBS in the morning, I made sure she got focused attention, I let her waste a ton of water because sink play was her very favorite thing to do in the eorld. It was hard, but it is so much easier now.

 

And yes to no computer play until after 2 or 3. Be consistent and although you'll get push back at first it will get easier.

 

And, as long as your second isn't ADHD, make sure completing work is his problem not yours. I have s child who has always done better in my sight, but I can certainly school someone else, do light housework around the house, etc. you shouldn't have to sit with them non-stop after 7 or so ( except for low confidence subjects or lessons--one of mind always needs me there when we hit s new math concept).

 

Don't interpret my tone as I have it altogether! Ack! Four is hard combined with homeschooling. The big gap at the bottom is hard. The developmental span is hard. Of course you are tired. Don't make any major decisions about school until you've had a rest.

[Forget-Me-Not]

I understand the burnout. May I share what I'm doing with my own kid who rushes through work to get to the fun activities? This year I made a rule that there would be no electronic games until after a certain time. If he finished early, great. He still had to wait. That did help reduce at least some of the rushing because there was no reward in it for him. Surprisingly, there were even a handful of times that he worked past that point in order to get something done. (It didn't solve the issue of wasting time during the day, however.)

 

Yeah, we've had that rule in the past, and I've grown lax as we've come to the end of the school year.  Time to reinstate it!  

 

 

[Valley Girl]

Yeah, we've had that rule in the past, and I've grown lax as we've come to the end of the school year.  Time to reinstate it!  

 

 

 

I don't know if your kiddo is like this, but mine also worried tremendously about not being able to get everything done. He would start worrying about it before we even began the first class of the day. He worried to the point of being unable to move forward. So I also used that no-electronics cutoff as the cutoff time for the school day. So he knew (and I reassured him daily) that school would not go past a certain time. My job was to worry about the schedule. ("Give that burden to Mom. If you do your work, I will make sure you finish on time.") His job was to work on each task as it came. It helped a little.

[Forget-Me-Not]

I don't know if your kiddo is like this, but mine also worried tremendously about not being able to get everything done. He would start worrying about it before we even began the first class of the day. He worried to the point of being unable to move forward. So I also used that no-electronics cutoff as the cutoff time for the school day. So he knew (and I reassured him daily) that school would not go past a certain time. My job was to worry about the schedule. ("Give that burden to Mom. If you do your work, I will make sure you finish on time.") His job was to work on each task as it came. It helped a little.

Oh not so much in this case (that anxiety probably belongs to another kid :D). This one is, for the most part, a very efficient time manager. Even when we do full school days, he often gets up bright and early and polishes off 4-6 subjects by 10 am or so, which can be sort of a problem in its own right, because he's bored and I'm still trying to get through everything else with his sibs! I have some things in the works for next year that will fill his day and get him out of the house a little more. I think it will be good.