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The Marvelous Flying Marco had a traumatic "potty incident"...


AimeeM
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He was potty trained. Beautifully, I might add. All within a day or two. 

I was all  :hurray:  :coolgleamA:  :party: .

 

But then we had to travel. My sister is having a baby. Well, we thought she was like ACTIVELY having the baby at that moment, so we drove out of state. 

Such a drive required a rest area potty break.

Who knew those potties have weight sensors on them and automatically flush when they sense you leave. I always just thought it was magic or something that it knew to flush when I was... finished  :glare: .

 

Marco is barely 30 lbs. Every time he fidgeted, the stupid can flushed. He was squealing about "rocket ships." I mean, it literally flushed under his bottom 4 times or so. THEN, a lady in the sink area turned on the automatic dryer  :crying: .

THEN the squealing about "rocket ships coming" started getting REAL.

 

So now he won't go near the toilet without serious, no exaggeration tackling. He starts doing the potty-dance, hollering about it, but if you say the word "potty," he shrieks and takes off running, usually holding himself and crying and dancing.

 

Thing is, he was so used to using the potty up to that point that now he freaks out about going in his pull-up, because we were all, "Hey, if it caused that much trauma, we'll just stop, see if the memory lessens, and pick it back up later." Nope. 

 

I'm not sure if there's any advice to be offered or if this is just a semi-amusing vent. Let's just operate on the assumption that he's SPD on some level. He's still in the middle of his eval appointments (one of three is finished), but his therapists are operating under that assumption to some extent.

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:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

Goodness that stinks!  Ugh!  Poor Marko.  

 

Have you tried having him show a doll how and where to potty?  It might shake things up a bit and get him focused differently.  DS did much better when he was instructing and he was pretty nurturing and liked to help so he wanted to show how to go to the potty to someone else.  One of DDs dolls worked great for this.  Even after he had a bit of regression, using the doll again really helped him.

 

DD not so much.  She couldn't care less if a doll learns how to use the toilet ("It's just plastic, right Mommy?").  She did potty train pretty well, though, but then had a bad experience at her day school and regressed terribly for months.  Nothing seemed to help.  She just needed the memory to fade, I guess.

 

I hope Marko gets over this quickly.

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In the future, and this may help anybody else, you can put a post it or something over the sensor.

 

I truly wish that I could help. My daughter had a similar incident once while driving from Florida to Atlanta, Georgia, and she refused to go potty in a public restroom for years after. But she was able to go at home where she knew it was safe.

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Okay, I have heard for some sensors you put a post-it note over the sensor. My son was. It potty trained while he was scared of noises anyway.

 

The industrial strength hand driers in some restrooms were a huge problem for him, though. Locally Target was the place with them. He got better about that but while he was scared of them we could not go in a bathroom with one.

 

So -- good luck with the sensor idea.

 

Otherwise, I would stop at old-looking places (sigh) unlikely to have a loud hand drier.

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My 11 yr old still hates the automatic dryers. She can now tolerate them long enough to wash her hands, but won't use them. When she was younger, we did a lot of wet wipes and hand sanitizer in the hall, and washing hands when we got somewhere without them. I also figured out where family bathrooms were, which stores had bathrooms in the back that employees would let a mom with kids use (that usually were single bathrooms and at least you didn't have a ton of dryers all working at once), and lots of other kludges. I also remember when DD was four and in kindergarten, and went in a school field trip to the zoo. The kid went all day refusing to even step into a bathroom until they got back to school (which, fortunately, didn't have automatic flushing and still had paper towels). Her teacher was amazed. I wasn't.

 

On the sensors-a lot of times the handicapped accessible stall doesn't have them, so it may be worth waiting for it to be available. In some airports there will be a separate bathroom designed for adults with disabilities who are traveling with someone to assist that is self-contained and usually requires getting a key, and those are worth finding if you have an SPD sensory avoidant kid, because, again, things are manual.

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If he's been using the regular big potty and right now that is traumatic for him could you switch to a little potty chair for a bit?

 

and maybe take him to some place with sensor toilets and play around with them, flush some cheerios or something. Take a scarf and watch the wind from the hand dryer blow it around. Anything to replace the frightening associations currently in his head.

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My oldest got freaked by a flushing toilet once too.  Eventually I was able to get him to use public bathrooms again if I let him stand on the seat and pee down.  For whatever reason I guess he felt in control of the toilet that way? Who knows!  I hope your son's memory of the scary toilet goes away quickly!  

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I have one that still hates the public toilets with the sensors. Hates. Serious anxiety.

 

Funny side story - one of my kids thought that what she left behind in the potty was part of her, so was very traumatized to see it inside the potty & then get flushed. Such screaming!

 

Potty training is so difficult & traveling post-potty training is even more so.  :grouphug:

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My NT 3 yo has issues with automatic flush toilets. She flat out refuses to use them, but does fine on traditional potties.

 

I would watch the Daniel Tiger video that talks about potties. Talk about how different types of potties work.  Explain that regular potties do not automatically flush or make noise. Have him stand in the hallway while you flush your regular potty.  

 

Eventually he should get over it.

 

IME, with my sensory kids, when the fight-or-flight takes over, language and rational thought stop.  You want to be able to work with his rational mind to overcome the fight-or-flight reaction he has developed from auto flush potties.

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My son's resource room at school has a little bathroom in it, and it has a flush toilet and paper towels. 

 

He can use any bathroom at school, it is a non-issue for him now, but there are other kids in the school whose only accommodation is to go and use that bathroom b/c it doesn't have a toilet sensor or automatic hand driers.   

 

The K classrooms also have a flush toilets and paper towels (they have their own little bathrooms). 

 

The sad thing is, most people don't know about it, so it seems like quite a few people are experiencing a lot of worry about it with their kids, before somebody mentions it to them, or they talk to someone about it who is clued in and aware of this bathroom. 

 

My (NT) daughter was fearful with them in pre-school, but sometime while she was 5-6 she got a lot better about it.  She is 7 now and it is fine. 

 

For my younger son ---- I don't know when or how it happened, but he used to have a huge problem with the hand driers, and now he doesn't.  It is possible I have forgotten, lol.  I don't know.  He is 7 now, and it was something he was very scared of in pre-school. 

 

 

Edited by Lecka
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Plastic potty (demonstrate that it cannot flush.) Then start working on getting him to use a home toilet. Depending on how rigid he is, it may take a while to convince him which toilets are "safe" and not. Back to the bribes. The automatic flushes and blow dryers cause more problems for my kids, and I am sorry. I feel your pain.

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It's insanity around here when he needs to pee right now.

He freaks out if he pees in his pull up.

He REALLY freaks out if he pees in his panties.

He completely freezes (body freeze, goes rigid) and screeches when I put him on the toilet.

 

I think I'll try the plastic potty on the ground. Maybe I'll name it something else, too. Like the suggestion of "pee holder."

 

:P

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