I read the Show book and really liked it. She seemed to be a very dedicated mother who did a great job with her son.

Well, not exactly Floortime, but Solomon's Autism, the Potential Within would be good. . . and practical. I have read some excerpts and did a training webinar based on one of the chapters. Waiting on the book. And I am sure there are others that are in the same vein that would be good too. Looking forward to others' suggestions.

This. . . us too. Exactly.

I am sure I have un dx'd adhd inattentive. And anxiety. And sensory issues. I am pretty sure my dh had mild apraxia as a child. . .and he is a rigid thinker. . . engineer. Lol. So, of course we are gonna have kiddos with non neurotypical wiring. Littlest got all of the above. All of it. No asd dx as of yet, but could in the future. If we use the spectrum idea, he is likely kissing it, yes. Almost, but Nooooot Quite. . . . yet. Lol. :-)

This was our experience too. . . it was wild!

Our doc used the Vanderbilt too. Don't be afraid of trying meds. They can make all the difference in the world. Just be patient and don't expect the med to make all his behavior go away. The meds get him in a place so he can learn NEW ways to handle himself. And he will. But they won't MAKE him behave. That takes work. Hope it goes well.

Meds have changed our lives. He can finally slow down and is now receptive to intervention and can learn. Meds have not made him a zombie. . . actually we can finally see who he really is. . . a sweet, loving, kind hearted, funny little boy. I was VERY anti meds. . . VERY! I am thankful for all the went on before in my journey that got me to the place where I was ready to learn and consider things outside my paradigm.

We definitely have this. . . ds is almost 5 and HATES when we talk about him. . . drs, therapists, etc. Disregulates him and makes him anxious. I have to meet with his BT away from home (at her office) to have planning sessions or to bring questions. I hate dr. Appts. If I have to do a phone call, I schedule it. . . at x time like an appointment and make sure I am in the car or he is at school. I like some of the ideas here. And yes on the PTSD for moms. Totally. I have gotten help in that area and I am much better. There are ways to handle your end better, for sure.

We definitely have this. . . ds is almost 5 and HATES when we talk about him. . . drs, therapists, etc. Disregulates him and makes him anxious. I have to meet with his BT away from home (at her office) to have planning sessions or to bring questions. I hate dr. Appts. If I have to do a phone call, I schedule it. . . at x ti.e like an appointment and make sure I am in the car or he is at school. I like some of the ideas here. And yes on the PTSD for moms. Totally. I have gotten help in that area and I am much better. There are ways to handle your end better, for sure.

This is great news Aimee. The old clinic sounds a like the first clinic we went to, where one SLP said she could not work with my child because of his behavior and the owner gave me an ultimatum that they would not treat him unless we got behavior therapy. . . we did, and I am thankful, but through that, I learned that some therapists are very rigid (they wanted to strap him in a chair) and he would not cooperate. All of his therapists at school are PLAY Project trained, and his private slp is just magical with him. But they meet him on his level, make it fun, and let him move. And flexible. They can read what kind of day he is having and adjust. He is doing great. I hope this turns out to be as great as it sounds.

Awesome! What a relief.

Wendy, my son is very much a similar kiddo. . . he is severe adhd, severe anxiety, kissing the spectrum. He didn't wind up with an ASD dx. Dr. Treated the severe adhd first. . . to slow him down. Then we worked behavior (still are) and he went through the PLAY Project which is for ASD kiddos. Guess what, he is in public preschool and THRIVING. I brought in his behaviorist who wrote an in depth behavior intervention plan because we both KNEW he needed one. Guess what. . . it has NEVER been used. Not once. It was the severe ADHD/ anxiety that caused every bit of his behavior. Every bit. And now that meds are in place, he has quickly learned to behave appropriately. QUICKLY. So even though we have spots. . . old patterns. . . he is a different kid. He is social and has friends and presents as a nt kiddo with atypical speech (apraxia). Had we not medicated, I think he would have gotten the asd dx eventually. He still could, bit I doubt it. I would just take things one thing at a time. Try some stuff, see what works. Our public preschool is out of this world. Speech is working. But these would not have been successful had we not medicated first. I hope you get some things in place. Sounds like you are all dying. We were too.

Meds first might make behavior intervention more effective. . . make the child more teachable. This was our experience.

And might I add again that at least 1 in 4 addicts were UNMEDICATED children with ADHD. With my family history, um. . . we medicated. Because living with my son is like reliving my childhood with my brother. . . a real live, honest to goodness adult with severe ADHD who started to self medicate with alcohol at 14. He has been clean and sober for almost 5 years. Woot woot.

This is us too. Meds have saved our family and my sanity. I literally was looking into counseling. Things can still be challenging, but jeesh, we like our kid again. Good deal.

This, this, and this. Not autism here, but same concept nonetheless. Until I had a Dr. a Psych and a behavior therapist come into the picture and confirm what was going on, follow their suggestions, and get results, ds's problems were my fault. Yep. Mom, especially homeschool moms get a lot of crap when kid isn't conforming.

BBC makes me crazy because they do so much w/o a dx which is a disservice to kids who should have a paper trail. Plus it is crazy expensive (12k) for the same stuff you can get for free at school or privately through OT and paid for by insurance. And their people are generally untrained. I just want to scream when I hear their ads.

Ok, one of the OTs at our old clinic went to some specific training at some Russian sounding woman's clinic. . . I cannot find it or remember. Anyone know? Not woo. . . even our reg pediatrician believes it is a thing and she is a DO. We are still working on getting the school OT up to speed on it. DS has many. . . I think the allergy claim is akin to a chiro who believes she can cure cancer. Um. . . likely not. There are some people who can take anything too far. IMHO.

I don't know where you live. . . I can ask mine for some recommendations. . . she is high up in the organization. Let me know. The think is, OTs, STs, teachers, etc can and are getting trained. Little dude's school ST and teacher are both PLAY trained by my BT. So they make a beautiful team. PLAY should be in their credentials if they have gone through it.

https://www.playproject.org

It always depends on the person. Always. I would take my PLAY consultant over anyone, because she was, well, sent. It is so obvious. She IS VERY extensively trained, and is, in fact, one of Dr. Solomon's handpicked consultants to become a trainer for the PP. She is a superstar, so to speak. But even if she only worked for the BDD in my county, or was just in private practice, or whatever, we would take her for she is the crucial piece of ds's team. She is vital and essential. Why? Because she is invested, she walks beside us, she coaches and supports, she teaches and guides, she is in my home and loves my whole family. Skilled people who care like this are hard to find, but invaluable when found. So that is my suggestion for the OP. . . to look for someone who is skilled, yes, but also will invest.

Hey Aimee, I could write a book about this stuff. . . serious. Therapists who say they are experienced with ya da, ya da, ya da, and then clearly, when the rubber meets the road, have no clue! In any case, have you heard of the PLAY Project? This could really really help Marco get to a place where other therapies are more effective. I don't know if there is a PLAY program where you live, but it is good good stuff.

I have no sword in this battle, as I feel like each kiddo is sooooo unique that it isn't advice, but information. Chew the meat, spit out the bones. However, I fail to see how motivators are a bad thing. We all use them. I do. . . when I finish this lecture I will have a cup of coffee. When I finish this load of laundry I will go for a walk. We also use visual supports. . . whether we think we do or not. We have put in place a system to reward good behavior. . . it has visual supports, it uses motivators to remind him what he is working toward. He knows how to react, and he can appropriately. There are consequences when he does not. He is rewarded when he uses coping skills to handle his anger and anxiety, which reinforces appropriate choices in the future. And the supports are eventually lifted as his brain makes new pathways. If you want to call this ABA, so be it. Our BT is PLAY trained, but she uses all kinds of techniques from all kinds of philosophical bents from 30 years working behavior support for people with developmental disabilities. She is always telling me that there should be a blend of approaches specific for each child, for they are all unique. One size does not fit all. I think there is wisdom in this.

I agree with the above. Meds for us only got him to the point to be ready to learn methods to cope with life. It didn't make the behavior go away because it had become his habit. He had learned that volatility worked. . . and before meds he was unteachable. Now that his brain is slowed down, he can stop and think and learn ways to cope. When the proper motivators are in place, he CAN stop himself and make better choices, use what words he has, breathe, etc, instead of scream and hit. Meds have helped him be ready to learn. Now, we are working with his behavior therapist closely and he is making great strides. She is soooo good with him. I highly recommend finding someone to help you from the behavior end.

Yes, I know several ASD kiddos who have never been vaccinated.