Why do you homeschool your LD child?

[shinyhappypeople]

And a follow-up question:  were you already homeschooling when your dc was dx'd or did that happen while in school or before school age?

 

And a follow-up to the follow-up: which learning challenges does your child deal with?

 

Thank you :)

[OneStepAtATime]

1.  Because, after extensive research and attempts at other paths, I discovered that while I may not be the best option, I am the best option for the kids to get an education in our area.

 

2.  Both kids were in brick and mortar.  One had always struggled so I was after-schooling her just to get her through each day.  When she hit 5th grade we didn't have enough physical time each day for me to reteach every subject and we were both drowning.  The other child had thrived in school (lowest grade usually a 99) until he hit 2nd quarter of 2nd grade and his undiagnosed LDs, and a teacher with a really bad attitude, were finally causing more problems than his undiagnosed high IQ could compensate for.  Both kids hit walls the same year.  I got evals (better late than never, right?) and started trying everything I could to get them help.

 

3.  DD has dyslexia, an auditory processing glitch, low working memory, and probably dyscalculia although we have never been able to find someone to officially assess this.  DS has dyslexia, a different auditory processing glitch, dysgraphia, and gifted.

[nature girl]

I was always drawn to homeschooling, just because I loved being around my DD so much, quirks and all, and hated the idea of missing out on the formative years of her life. But she needs socialization, she's always loved being around other kids, so I started her in preschool at 3. It started off okay, but within 6 months her ADHD tendencies started to progress and it became a disaster. She was running off and hiding, just not following rules, and not doing a great job joining in with play, even though she desperately wanted to.

 

So I brought her home, then considered starting ps K but she was a young 5 and quite immature, so I decided to wait a year to see if she'd be ready by 6. Her behavioral symptoms got worse last year, and I began to suspect ADHD. Finally this summer I got her in for a diagnosis.

 

I've gone back and forth over the years over whether we've made the right decision, especially because we don't have the best hs'ing community here. But at the moment I don't think she'd be able to succeed in school, and in the end I feel like she must have been given to me for a reason, and that there's a reason I was drawn to hs'ing even before Anna started having problems (when before Anna came to us I hadn't ever remotely considered it.) It hasn't been easy, but even when I'm tearing out my hair, deep down it's always felt right for all of us.

[MysteryJen]

So they can learn how their brain works without the social and academic competition of school. So they don't feel stupid all the time. So they can find their strengths in a supportive but demanding and focused environment.

 

Ds2 dysgraphic with difficulties in written expression, dd2 dyslexic

[clemota]

1.  Because I know I can give her all the accommodations/scaffolding she needs to succeed.  I'm concerned that our impacted local public schools would not be able to meet her needs well enough.

 

2.  I was homeschooling before the diagnosis, and had been for 2 years.

 

3. DD13, official diagnosis: disorder of written expression (in her case: stealth dyslexia and dysgraphia); SPD

 

[kbutton]

I had thought about homeschooling and discarded the idea once I met my children, lol! (They aren't super easy going.)

 

My older son had some behavioral issues and suspected ADHD/SPD. We knew more was going on, but we didn't know what. Dysgraphia was a possible thing. When we were faced with the idea that he would never again have recess in third grade, or he would hurry through his work and do it badly to get recess, we knew it was time to do something different. He was also only sort of challenged at school (2e). So, we pulled him from his very nice, comfortable Christian school. It was hard to do, but the choice was pretty clear. We now know that ASD is in the mix, but he has dysgraphia, ADHD, and SPD.

 

My younger son didn't go to school since we were already homeschooling. We're in the middle of evals, but we have confirmed CAPD, speech motor issues, probably dysgraphia, some language processing issues (at least a discrepancy, may not fit the public school definition because he's 2e), severely low processing speed (hoping to explore that more), and likely ADHD. He would be lost in a classroom that met his capabilities, and he might do okay in a lower level, but he would still be missing stuff left and right--he can't hear it fast enough, he can't copy from the board, all tasks take forever unless scaffolded with scribing and such.

[Heathermomster]

DS was identified dyslexic the last week of 1st grade.   By the 2nd month of 2nd grade, DS was identified 2e with 3 SLDs.  He sat in a nt classroom until 7th grade.  He is homeschooled because the school could not meet the demands of educating a 2e with 3 SLDs, and we were worn out attempting to make the classroom work.  Homeschooling is better for DS because I can accommodate without fuss and use materials that better suit him.  

[Julie of KY]

I homeschool as a lifestyle choice that was discussed prior to having children.

 

I am very thankful that my kids with learning difficulties are at home so that they can progress at their rates while being accommodated for their learning disabilities. My oldest is highly gifted with severe learning disabilities. He would have never been able to be in the gifted program here because of his learning disabilities. I feel strongly that my kids gifted side would have been overshadowed by their learning difficulties in school.

 

ds1 - moderate dyslexia; severe dysgraphia

dd3 - severe dyslexia and dysgraphia

ds4 - severe dyslexia

[Mom22ns]

My oldest dealt with ASD, ADD and dysgrapia.

 

He was diagnosed with ASD at age 3. We pulled him from public school and started homeschooling in 6th grade. 

 

Why we started homeschooling: By 6th grade, he was no longer getting OT or speech therapy at school. He had graduated from those programs which had been tremendously helpful. However, he was immature and socially awkward and started being bullied severely (started in 5th grade). The upper elementary where he was had a principal that was horrible with kids that weren't typical. Gifted, LD, it didn't matter. She wanted everyone to fit in one nice round hole. If you were different, you were a problem. The school environment became progressively more untenable and I researched homeschooling and left. We thought at the time we'd probably put him back some day (in a different school). 

 

Why we never stopped: Homeschooling let us address ds exactly as he was. We took academics at his pace, some accelerated, some slowed. We were able to work continually on social skills because those he saw modeled were positive instead of those of middle schoolers. Also, since we were together so much if his social skills failed, I could support him in the situation and coach him through it instead of just dealing with the fall-out when he get home. Ds regained his confidence, soared academically, and grew more socially in a year than he had in the previous 5. We all loved it. In our family it was a fit. 

 

I can't claim I did everything right and there was never any negatives or repercussions from my mistakes, but overall homeschooling was a huge success here. Ds is now off at college on an excellent academic scholarship, living in the dorm and loving it. We had some testing done by the local ps district to support his accommodations request for college. The testers were stunned and pretty much told me flat out he would never have come so far if he had stayed in school. 

 

 

[MeaganS]

And a follow-up question:  were you already homeschooling when your dc was dx'd or did that happen while in school or before school age?

 

And a follow-up to the follow-up: which learning challenges does your child deal with?

 

Thank you :)

 

DD is our oldest and was diagnosed with ASD and SPD at 3.5, but I had already researched and mostly decided on homeschooling by the time she was a year old. So although we hadn't started yet, I was well on the way to beginning the process before her issues became clear. At 6 she was diagnosed with Turner's Syndrome (and we're pursuing a neuropsych eval to try to get more information on how her brain works as I'm not sure ASD and SPD really explain her very well).

 

If anything, it just gives me even more reason to homeschool. She is high functioning enough that she would get very few accommodations in a classroom, but she needs more attention than that in order to succeed. She would absolutely fail in a school setting, I have no doubt about that. At home, she is on grade level in most subjects and excelling with reading. Academics were my first motivation for looking into homeschooling, but also my mother's experience with my brother's ADHD led me to promise myself as a youth that if I ever had a kid like that, I wouldn't put them in school. School did no favors for him and I think my mom regrets not homeschooling him.

[Guest Kaity]

I hope you ladies don't mind if I jump in - I've been lurking on this forum a while and just pulled my 1st grader out of public school this past Thursday.  

 

I've been researching and considering homeschooling since around the time our oldest was born, partly because of Dh and his siblings' experiences in school and the possibility that our kids would have similar struggles. We decided to send our oldest son (who doesn't seem to have any learning challenges) to public kindergarten, and loved his teacher and the school so much that it was an easy choice to send Ds6 there for kindergarten as well, despite his delays. We moved back to Dh's hometown in June, and haven't been as lucky here. To make a long story short, he lasted 4.5 weeks in 1st grade and we regret not pulling him earlier. 

 

Ds's only official diagnosis is "Language Disorder" (delays in both expressive and receptive abilities) and he was diagnosed before he was school aged. The last psychologist we saw strongly suspected dyslexia, but felt that it was too early to diagnose. 

[OneStepAtATime]

I hope you ladies don't mind if I jump in - I've been lurking on this forum a while and just pulled my 1st grader out of public school this past Thursday.

 

I've been researching and considering homeschooling since around the time our oldest was born, partly because of Dh and his siblings' experiences in school and the possibility that our kids would have similar struggles. We decided to send our oldest son (who doesn't seem to have any learning challenges) to public kindergarten, and loved his teacher and the school so much that it was an easy choice to send Ds6 there for kindergarten as well, despite his delays. We moved back to Dh's hometown in June, and haven't been as lucky here. To make a long story short, he lasted 4.5 weeks in 1st grade and we regret not pulling him earlier.

 

Ds's only official diagnosis is "Language Disorder" (delays in both expressive and receptive abilities) and he was diagnosed before he was school aged. The last psychologist we saw strongly suspected dyslexia, but felt that it was too early to diagnose.

Welcome, Kaity!

[Guest2]

We homeschool for religious reasons.

 

While we have not persued dx , my kids have had interesting things going on. My oldest was in public/private schools thruough 2nd grade. He was in the gifted program and completed the math "curriculum" in the first month of school(2nd grade was all computer...arithmetic drilling..that's all). He was easily frustrated , and working with him to conquer that as we provided the right challenge was the important thing we could do homeschooling that I don't think would have been done in the school.

 

My Dd1 had lots of problems using her eyes together which have now been corrected in Vision Therapy. It was painful to learn to read and took a few years. Don't talk to me about multiplicaiton facts.. I still have nightmares. I believe she may have tested as a sort of stealth dyslexic.

 

DD2 I believe is gifted and truly fairly severely dyslexic. She worked on learning to read from 4-12. I finally taught her using Barton Reading and Spelling.

 

DS2 is a bit advanced in math/ mathematical thinking.. I don' t see the academic giftedness overall, and he has the same visual problems his sister had, only much more severe.

 

We homeschool for religious reasons, but it has been a gift to my family. Most of my kids have only been homeschooled. We were able to use the curriculm that fit each child and then tweak it to fit even better. Except for DD2, I don't think they would not have gotten accommodations. They may have advanced grades, but their self esteem would be shot. In a school setting , they would have been square pegs.

[Storygirl]

We decided that we would be homeschoolers when my oldest was three and my youngest were not born yet, so learning disabilities did not play into our decision, but they have had a big impact. I started homeschooling because I wanted to invest a lot of time into my children and not have other people that I didn't know personally (teachers and other children) having such a major influence on them during their formative years. I disliked the idea of sending my little five and six year olds off every day to spend the best part of their day with other people, and only spend homework time, supper, and bedtime with me. As a Christian, I wanted to be their primary influence and teach them my values from sun up to sun down.

 

DD13 has no diagnosed disabilities, but has always been weak in math, writing, and critical thinking/logic skills. She was enrolled in a part-time Classical school in third and fourth grades, primarily so that I would have time to work with her younger siblings while she was in her outside classes. She did very well in her classes, but it was due in large part to the huge effort and time that I put in with her on the days that she was at home, just to help her complete her assignments and keep up with her classmates. She did well, but I hated it. It reinforced for me my desire to be able to choose the curriculum and schedule that best suited our family and the various needs of our children. DD10 is dyslexic. DD11 has NVLD, SPD, ADHD, and a bunch of additional academic learning disabilities. DS10 has no diagnosed disabilities but was a resistant learner.

 

I would say that being able to choose our own curriculum and set our own schedule was our main reason for homeschooling in the following years, along with our need to focus on character issues. This year my three youngest are enrolled in a private Christian school for the first time, and I'm able to once again see how they benefited from my ability to choose materials based on their needs. The school's curriculum is not ideal for them, so we are in a situation where my children have to adjust to the curriculum instead of being able to adjust the curriculum to the needs of the child. That's a big drawback of being enrolled in school.

 

There are other reasons that going to school this year is a good choice for them, but we are constantly re-evaluating to figure out what the best next step in their education will be, and perhaps they will return to homeschooling one day. Each choice has some big pros and big cons for our family. I will say that homeschooling children with learning challenges took a lot out of me personally. It was a hard journey.

 

ETA: DD13 is continuing to homeschool. I don't think she would end up with any official learning disabilities (though maybe I'm wrong), but if she were in school, she would struggle to keep up and would get only average grades. At home, I am able to meet her where she is with appropriate curriculum choices but still push to develop the skills that are weaker. I can both accommodate and challenge her appropriately. And without traditional homework, she has time to devote to ballet, which has class six days a week. She is gifted in dance, and homeschooling allows her to explore that gift. She would have trouble keeping up her grades and continuing at this level of ballet if in traditional school. Homeschooling allows her to thrive in her areas of giftedness while being appropriately supported as she works on her weaker skills.

[PeterPan]

I hope you ladies don't mind if I jump in - I've been lurking on this forum a while and just pulled my 1st grader out of public school this past Thursday.  

 

I've been researching and considering homeschooling since around the time our oldest was born, partly because of Dh and his siblings' experiences in school and the possibility that our kids would have similar struggles. We decided to send our oldest son (who doesn't seem to have any learning challenges) to public kindergarten, and loved his teacher and the school so much that it was an easy choice to send Ds6 there for kindergarten as well, despite his delays. We moved back to Dh's hometown in June, and haven't been as lucky here. To make a long story short, he lasted 4.5 weeks in 1st grade and we regret not pulling him earlier. 

 

Ds's only official diagnosis is "Language Disorder" (delays in both expressive and receptive abilities) and he was diagnosed before he was school aged. The last psychologist we saw strongly suspected dyslexia, but felt that it was too early to diagnose. 

Hi Kaity, welcome!  Feel free to start a new thread and ask for advice on things, questions, whatever.  My ds is 6, soon to be 7, and like your ds he has complex language needs.  He's had 3 psych evals, and each one said extreme challenges, very complex.  In a school district near us, kids with no IEP get 30 minutes of intervention per subject, just because the teacher sees something.  In our school district, kids with an IEP get 15 minutes of intervention, and it won't be with someone certified in OG (the only effective method for dyslexia).  Seriously.  Huge difference between school districts.  And it's exasperating, because it means, for as nice as our local school is, I absolutely CANNOT send him there.  You can't take someone with complex needs and expect them to progress as they could in a situation where the school simply does not have funds to service at that level.

 

It would cost most probably $40K a year to send him to a local dyslexia school, and they can't service ALL his needs.  It would cost about that to send him to the ASD charter, and they can't service ALL his needs.  He's just complex.  And there's no cs or other private school that could service ALL his needs.

 

But it's really no joke, when you get in this complex situation where you feel penned in with NO options other than homeschooling.  I've already put in, what, 12 years now with dd.  I'm at that point where it's like oh, let's retire from homeschooling!  And then you realize whoa babes, we really have another 12 years to go with this one.   :svengo: And you know it's surprising, because in some ways he's way harder to teach than dd (because he bolts, spends a whole day perseverating, gets stuck, has meltdowns, etc. etc.), but he's also very enjoyable to work with in his own ways.  We have a lot of therapy and specialty materials, and they're FUN.  Seriously, like these things are so FUN to do, I really can't imagine giving that to someone else to do, kwim?  

 

So I guess pick your poison.  It's not going to be all good or all bad.  It's going to be both.  He may be much more delightful to work with than you imagine.  You may find that, as you find materials that work for him, that he blossoms.  

 

I think the main thing is to get off the curriculum gravy train, don't hang on K-8 AT ALL, and just be honest that his progression is going to be very different.  Like with my ds we do a lot of alternative things.  We build K'nex a lot and play a lot of games, because they allow us to work on our goals (math, language, social, left/right, etc.).  You have to build a picture of homeschooling that is really centered around what he NEEDS to blossom, not by purchasing curriculum and sitting at a desk.  That's when you get the joy, when you realize it was so much more.  

[shinyhappypeople]

Thanks for all the responses.  Reading them helped me.

 

I'm asking these questions because the eval recommendation was basically put her in public school, they have to listen to you and teachers will definitely give the appropriate accommodations.  So, as much as I did NOT like the idea and it did NOT feel right in my gut, I tried to keep an open mind, thought about it, talked with DH, talked with DD, considered the possibilities... and the answer is still no.  

 

I've made NO secret about how burnt out I am, but a B&M school is not what's best for her right now.  Maybe in the future, but right now, she's best served by continuing homeschool.  There are things we can do to improve her homeschool experience and her life in general, so we're addressing those things (adding in a team sport, psychotherapy, some other stuff).  There are also things I can do to take better care of myself and work on my own stuff.   But the location of school is still our dining room for at least another year.

 

So, why do I feel guilty, when my gut, my kid (most of the time), my husband, and even the optometrist who's doing her VT all tell me what I'm doing is right... for this kid.... for right now?  I mean, seriously, even my MOM who is on the fence about homeschooling in general, as soon as I mentioned the idea of public school because of DD's LDs  immediately said, "Don't do it.   Don't put her in there."  

 

My mom has seen first hand the struggles kids in my extended family have gone through (ASD, learning disabilities, etc).  It hasn't been pretty.  SOME districts do an awesome job accommodating kids who don't fit the mold.  OUR district is not one of them.  They have a horrible, horrible reputation when it comes to special education services.

 

OK, so having written all that out, I'm starting to get my confidence back. :)

[scrapbookbuzz]

And a follow-up question:  were you already homeschooling when your dc was dx'd or did that happen while in school or before school age?

 

And a follow-up to the follow-up: which learning challenges does your child deal with?

 

Thank you :)

 

My daughter, who is now 17, has been in public, charter, and home school(s). Homeschool has really proven to be the best option for her.

We began officially homeschooling her in 1st grade because the charter school she had been in for K was closing the campus nearest us

and the main campus was an hour away. She was in that charter school because the public school she had been in for 3 weeks couldn't deal

with a strong-willed child (none of us knew about the Aspergers at the time).

 

The next few years we tried different venues, due to life circumstances. Finally at the end of the first semester of 6th grade at the ps, I realize 

neither she nor my son (first grade at the time) were learning anything new. Everything they were being taught I had already taught them at home.

My daughter asked to come home and has been home ever since. She's a junior in high school this year. When she was 10, I had her assessed through

the school district because I wanted confirmation for what I already knew: she has Aspergers. She's also mildly dyslexic. My son is extremely sensitive to loud

noises (SPD). I had already been modifying dd's learning before I read that's what you should do for kids with LDs. 

 

My kids, like their mother, are very "outside the box" learners, etc. A traditional classroom setting is not a great learning environment for them.

[Guest2]

Hugs OP. I have felt guilty from time to time. Maybe we all have? There is this vague sense that someone else could do all of this better. There is a mythical expert who could swoop in and do every single thing better than I do. Every mistake I make will impact my kids and their education/ life...ect.

I do not let my thoughts go there anymore. We homeschool for relgious reasons, so maybe it it is easier. I can repeat the reason we homeschool to myself ( other people look at me weirdly when I talk to myself in public) .Finding a better life balance has helped, as well as doing silly things with my kids that we enjoy..computer games, singing, walks , snuggle and reading. Hope you feel better.

[kbutton]

I think there is a sense in which the "outside" world (non-homeschoolers) believe that if the public school fails, it must be because the child was too difficult. They don't extend the same grace to homeschoolers. So, we translate that into homeschooling being high stakes--if the child doesn't come out perfectly remediated, it will be on us (so we think, but that's not necessarily the case). We don't have a guarantee with either set of circumstances, but we shouldn't hesitate to do what is the best option, especially in the face of imperfect options. 

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  

 

There are some people who are totally unaware--they exist in public school and in homeschool circles. You are not unaware, and that puts you leaps ahead in the decision-making process.

 

[PeterPan]

You also don't really have to set this up as an either/or kind of thing.  Like you're saying she's having issues with listening to you.  Fine, LOTS of 12 yos do that to their parents, even without disabilities.  It's just more crunchy frustrating because we need to be interacting with them to work on their disabilities.  

 

But what if you found a middle of the road?  Like ok, not ps, but what about a private tutor?  It will cost you a pretty penny, but if you're in there every day, getting it done, getting it done is what matters.  Our state offers disability scholarships, and you can, in theory, hire providers for all the disability subjects (math, reading, writing) and just do the content subjects yourself.

 

You can also go a different direction, hiring experts to help you analyze your situation.  I spent time this fall buying everything applicable from a TPT author who is an expert in ASD classroom management.  We're using that stuff and getting some improvement, but if that's not enough I can do a paid session with the lady or hire a behaviorist.  It's not like I have to do all this ALONE just because I'm homeschooling.  So hire out, consult with experts.  I think that's one of the important things about the board here, that you can throw out a problem and get your preconceptions challenged about how it could be handled.  

 

That's pretty fantastic (as in improbable, fairy tale like) to think you'd put an older dc with a disability into the ps, plop, and they magically fix everything.  

 

Some situations just suck.  Me, honestly, I just wake up and go Give me grace for x number more years.  Might be 11 or 12 more years, and that's all it is, just get through it.  In your case, less than 11/12.  Reality is, if she's 10 you probably have 8 or less.  And reality is the last year or two of that she'll pull away and do outsourced classes or DE or something, maybe even sooner.  So you only have a few years to survive.  Do the math and console yourself.  It's not never-ending.

[raptor_dad]

 

I'm asking these questions because the eval recommendation was basically put her in public school, they have to listen to you and teachers will definitely give the appropriate accommodations.  So, as much as I did NOT like the idea and it did NOT feel right in my gut, I tried to keep an open mind, thought about it, talked with DH, talked with DD, considered the possibilities... and the answer is still no.  

 

 

I started homeschooling DS8 in K because that quote just wasn't true. Legally the schools may have been required to do these things but in reality there was only so much they could/would do. DS had an established IEP coming out of Early Childhood Special Ed and the school couldn't even handle the easy things like sensory breaks. They would complain that he was hiding under tables and refusing to come out requiring them to clear the class room to forcibly remove him. I would ask about the legally binding requirement in his IEP, which they had all signed off on, for a quiet break area and they would say it just wasn't possible in his small classroom with 32 kids. He would often hide in his 6in wide coat cubby. We had similar problems with most accommodations in his IEP. So, Yeah... I could have kept DS there and pushed the issue and gotten a IEP Due Process hearing and either gotten a resolution or sued for an out of district placement. But, that would have taken at least a year and in the mean time my child was regressing. He was losing academic milestones, losing curiosity, and showing more and more maladaptive behavior in response to the stress. We were amazingly privileged to be in a situation to be able to just pull DS out a couple of months in to K and start homeschooling. Within a couple of weeks our gifted, curious kid was back. Working on social issues has been so much easier in a less chaotic environment. 

 

ETA: DS has a school classification of ASD.

[Guest]

We started homeschooling while living overseas. Returning to Canada we had to make many lifestyle changes in order to continue homeschooling. We made the choice we felt was best for our children and our family. The diagnosis for both boys came 5 1/2 years after we had started homeschooling. For us, it just reaffirmed that we had made the right choice.

 

Both boys were diagnosed on the spectrum, both high functioning.

[KSinNS]

I started homeschooling after S finished grade 2 in a local ps. It's actually a great school, with a pretty strong rep for special needs (or why we live in a neighbourhood we would otherwise have never chosen). Anyway, despite all that, he was exhausted and shutting down. He wasn't really learning all that much (he is actually super-smart). His social skills were getting worse. He was getting very little support by the end-basically a yoga class once a week, when he really needed SLP and work on reading comprehension, social skills, etc. Anyway, I figured I can't make things any worse at home, and he has really blossomed. Though it took lots of time. With him, I have no doubts homeschooling is the right choice, and I plan to make it work through high school. Despite his ASD, he's actually pretty easy to teach. He's smart and diligent to a fault, so the only real problem is to not overload him, or he cries. Also, he's a bit nuts for his music, so I'm having to cut back some science stuff to make time for that. I feel a bit guilty, but he's in Grade 6, so really not the end of the world. 

 

Miss T was in primary(K) when we decided to homeschool. She was happy in school, but really had learned nothing and the teacher, though lovely, did not seem to see that the child had no reading skills at all (she'd memorized the books), didn't know her letters, and was losing some skills she went to school with. I actually wasn't all that worried about her, but I mainly kept her home because I hated school, and couldn't keep one home without the other. Also, if I was going to try to teach her all her school-work again at home, it seemed sensible to eliminate the middle-man and just keep her home. Well, it turns out there are problems-ADD and a "challenging learning profile"-high verbal and visual skills with slow process-speeds, and major fine-motor delays, so homeschooling is great for her. She is happy, but I have to be very aware of her social situation. We're planning to move closer to where her friends live to try to make that easier. 

 

Mr. D stayed home because everyone else did. I do wonder, from time to time, with him, if he'd be better at school. He's busy, intense, anxious, and impulsive, but he seems to do a bit better in structured settings than at home, though I've tweaked the schedule and things are going  better. DH, the voice of wisdom, really thinks he would be a disaster at school, and he's probably right. We're in the midst of evals right now, so the anxiety and self-doubt are kicking in hard, of course. He's also pretty smart, so I do think he's get bored pretty quickly at school, where he would never be challenged. Anyway, we shall see where the dust settles on him. He loves the free-time that comes with homeschooling, so I suspect ps would be a no-go for him on that part alone. 

 

Miss M is just starting. I was expecting the worst, and she seems to be happy, focussed and school-ready in a way I never imagined. So, I'm enjoying the ride for now. We're on the waitlist for her to be evalled (public system-so 6-12 months). She has selective mutism, and with the family hx, we need to assess for autism first. I think she would struggle with anxiety at school, but also she might come out of her shell. Anyway, self-doubt inevitably kicks in, but we'll see. DH (same personality complete with selective mutism) hated school even more than me, so I'm probably doing her good. I hope. I think doubts are just a part of it. 

 

Sorry, wow, this is long. But I think, for us, this is good. I would send them back to school if I thought it would be better. But, I'm not convinced yet.