Dianne-TX Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 What am I doing wrong??? My ds7 and dd5 are constantly silly when it's free time or just when they are together. I love that they are close, but how can I help them not be so foolish? Is that even possible? I know they are young and immature, but I see other children their age not acting so silly and wonder what I'm doing wrong. I'm feeling like a drill sergeant most days! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 What do you mean by silly? Can you give some examples? RC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 I thought for a while that my boys were terminally silly. They're 14 now, and it's over. I think they started sobering up around twelve. Just keep reminding them that there is a time and a place for silly, and they need to learn to turn it off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 What am I doing wrong??? My ds7 and dd5 are constantly silly when it's free time or just when they are together. I love that they are close, but how can I help them not be so foolish? Is that even possible? I know they are young and immature, but I see other children their age not acting so silly and wonder what I'm doing wrong. I'm feeling like a drill sergeant most days! I let them be as silly as they want together (mine are also close in age) but I tell that when a grown-up is in the room, they need to control that because grown-ups don't really like that level of silliness. They are still silly together sometimes, but it isn't like it was when they were 5 & 7. (they are 9 & 11 now) I want them to understand that there is a time and place for that. Now, I think dh would be tempted to stamp out any silliness because it drives him crazy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 Could you provide examples? I mean, when you just say "silliness" and "free time", that doesn't sound so bad to me! Of course though, if they're behaving inappropriately in public, or putting themselves in danger, or simply driving their poor mother to distraction, then that's not okay... My guess (from the little you've said), is that I would try to establish boundaries -- where sheer silliness is acceptable (not annoying other people out in the world, not putting people or the environment in danger, not making their mother insane), and where it *isn't* (any of the above criteria). Can they be silly in certain places in the house? Is there a great yard and they can "do silly", but only outside? Can they be silly at breakfast or at lunch (assuming that doesn't mean making a horrible mess and creating more work for you -- I mean innocent "silliness"), but not at dinner, when you're trying to have a civilized family meal? Are there times when their silliness really *is* okay, and it's just that *you* need to withdraw to another room and have a cup of tea, so they don't make you go bonkers? ;) Silliness is a vital part of childhood! ... But so is learning to exercise respect for those around you, and learning to recognize when silliness is and is *not* appropriate... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dianne-TX Posted September 9, 2008 Author Share Posted September 9, 2008 it's just the general environment is silly when we aren't doing our school work. There are two levels around here, quiet because they have to be and then crazy/silly/constantly laughing/loud, etc. (I guess that's not exactly two, but anyway) I know they need down time and I give them grace, for a while. But, they just can't turn it off and it always leads to discipline. Remudamom and WTMindy- Thanks for the response about your children. It seems like this is just life for awhile and we've got to continue to guide and direct them with grace and discipline, right? I don't want to be unrealistic, just better if I need to be. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 What am I doing wrong??? My ds7 and dd5 are constantly silly when it's free time or just when they are together. I love that they are close, but how can I help them not be so foolish? Is that even possible? I know they are young and immature, but I see other children their age not acting so silly and wonder what I'm doing wrong. I'm feeling like a drill sergeant most days! I have a 7 and a 5 who are constantly silly together. It sometimes turns to overexcitement. I'm assuming that's what you mean by excessive? I let them know, "Too much. Time to calm down." or send them out of the room to play elsewhere. They know what that means by now. If they are unable to calm down I separate them and they sit quietly in the spot of my choice with a quiet activity of their choice. I don't want to spoil the very genuine enjoyment they get from one another. But at the same time, it can spiral out of control to the point that one or the other gets hurt, gets angry, is unable to behave appropriately. When I see it heading that direction, I step in. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 Yes, I find the problem usually happens when they need to transition OUT of being silly (especially when they were that age). So, one of the strategies I would use is to send them to their own bed (or chair) with a book and settle them down. I would usually do this about 5-10 minutes before Daddy got home so they weren't driving him nuts when he got home. And really, think of what a joy it is that your kids are enjoying each other so much! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VaKim Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 I still haven't gotten over being silly myself. :001_smile: I just think it is important, as with everything else, to realize there is a time and a place for it, and other times and places where it is inappropriate. And also, to not be so loud, out of respect for others around you regardless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dianne-TX Posted September 9, 2008 Author Share Posted September 9, 2008 That is exactly what I do! I could have written my own response. :) They do respond to me when I tell them to stop of if I have to discipline them, so they aren't that "bad". I really can't complain. I guess this is a case of Mommy thinking her kids need to be "perfect" and self-controlled at all times. Ha! Thanks for reminding me that I'm doing okay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elizam Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 couple of thoughts: some kids just are more silly; you could also describe them as imaginitive, fun-loving, etc. it could be ADHD or even the mania of bipolar (I am having to consider these possibilities now, after years of wondering what was up with my child)--note, I wouldn't just automatically think something like that those other kids who aren't silly--so many kids acted rather jaded...especially PS kids, and many homeschooled kids act super sheltered and quiet--ther are also PS kids who act super quiet, shy, stuck up, whatever I have learned that no one personality type is "right"...but I know what type adults prefer...and I know that there is a type of silliness that drives away even the silliest of kids. I also know that I just don't know. Kids are kids, and they dont think like us. And I think too much! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 I still haven't gotten over being silly myself. :001_smile: I just think it is important, as with everything else, to realize there is a time and a place for it, and other times and places where it is inappropriate. And also, to not be so loud, out of respect for others around you regardless. We walk that fine line in our house as well. DS and I can be very silly together. DH and ds are silly as well but more in a guy way. So we work on gently reminding ds where the boundaries of silliness lie. I usually allow a transition time when silliness breaks out in school. For instance, walk around the inside of the house 5 times then we are back to serious study. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NevadaRabbit Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 Thank God for silliness! I wouldn't survive otherwise. My children think I'm nuts, and sometimes I think they are nuts (no offense to any real nuts), but it shows a level of trust and love and fun that I think many parents wish they had amongst family members. Like so many have said: set boundaries. Be glad they can share the joy during free time; help them find ways to move from "goofball" to "student" when it's time, and encourage them to remain one another's best friend. What a blessing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dianne-TX Posted September 9, 2008 Author Share Posted September 9, 2008 I guess I can't wonder where they get it from. My dh and I are crazy too! We still play around and chase each other and just laugh a lot! The kids love it! I guess the kid's silliness is grating sometimes and that's why I want it curtailed when "I" want it curtailed, kwim? I had a BF growing up and we were so silly together! I still smile when I think of her. I'm so glad I posted this because you all are reminding me what I already know which is: -this is normal for the age group -don't let it get out of control and cause others around them to be bothered and do it at appropriate times. -be silly with them! -be thankful they are best friends and enjoy one another so much! Thanks, ladies! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NevadaRabbit Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 I'm so glad I posted this because you all are reminding me what I already know which is: -this is normal for the age group -don't let it get out of control and cause others around them to be bothered and do it at appropriate times. -be silly with them! -be thankful they are best friends and enjoy one another so much! I meant to say this in my earlier post: when my own kids' silliness is driving me to the brink I try to remember to ask myself, "are they truly misbehaving, or just annoying me?" Sometimes they just need a reminder to tone it down before something gets broken; sometimes they are just being noisy when what I really want is peace and quiet. Oftentimes I just need to :chillpill: and remind myself of the list you posted!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Staci in MO Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 My oldest two are 9 and 11 (nearly 10 and 12), and it's getting better now. I have no answers. We just constantly reminded them when it was time to settle down. I don't have a problem with silliness, but with my kids, it seemed like there was a point that they would be *unable* to settle themselves down and someone would eventually get hurt. And since that seemed to happen every time they started getting silly, we usually had to shut them down pretty fast. Most of the time we just separated them. Dd had to be sent away from the table quite a bit (we let her come back and finish her meal after she had herself under control). In retrospect, I think the most helpful thing was explaining to them why we did that at times when they *weren't* being silly. We assured them that we were glad that they liked to have fun, but that since they couldn't settle themselves down before someone got hurt, we had to remind them. They *knew* that it was true, but had trouble remembering that while they were in the moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadiegirl Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 I tend to be more serious than my husband so sometimes the "serious police" kicks in and puts a damper on having fun and I feel like I spoil the moment. I try to remind myself that these moments are fewer and farther between now as my boys approach teenage years. Pick and choose the times to stifle these fun times. I do believe they need to understand there is a time and a place for it but enjoy and be part of it if you can! I really envy those who can wear the hat of silliness and let go of the voice of reason! Remember Trace Adkin's song.."You're going to miss this..." and how many things in our lives we do! You never realize how our kids love it when we do something so out of character for us!!! Mine never forget those unlike me moments!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle T Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 The two of them together are just crazy. You would think they were both seven. I would expect excessive silliness from boys younger than 10. Actually, I don't even think their silliness could qualify as excessive, I just expect young boys to be silly. Now, a 43 year old man, and 12 year old boy OUGHT to be able to settle down, but mine sure haven't so far. Michelle T Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 The two of them together are just crazy. You would think they were both seven. I would expect excessive silliness from boys younger than 10. Actually, I don't even think their silliness could qualify as excessive, I just expect young boys to be silly. Now, a 43 year old man, and 12 year old boy OUGHT to be able to settle down, but mine sure haven't so far. Michelle T I have the same challenge. Ds is almost 11 and dh will be 48 this year. I'm not sure who starts more of the silliness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 My husband is downstairs right now chasing the kids around, tickling them and calling them Filipe (I don't know why). They can be very silly. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcjlkplus3 Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 Where two or more are gathered there is much silliness at our house. Dc are 3.5, 5 and 7. I know the day will come when they are not so happy to just be silly together and that it will be quieter, but kind of sad too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paintedlady Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 Mine are the silliest goof balls pretty much all day, every day. The only time I worry about reigning them in, is if we're in public (church, store, etc...), if we're doing school, or if someone in the house is sleeping. Then I send them outside to be silly. :D I figure they'll outgrow it some day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 My 4 and 6yo are very silly. The only time that it is a problem is when they need to get ready for bed. They often ramp it up about 15 notches to avoid obeying. That's our current problem. Otherwise, I let them be silly all they want, and often join in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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