Minerva Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 I had one of those weeks. Not just one of those days but the whole long week. I realized that part of the problem is my own mounting frustration, that sinking feeling that the rock on my back will keep rolling back down the hill no matter how hard we trudge--maybe not all the way down the hill but at least part way. I am totally aware that what my kids are doing isn't intentional, isn't aimed at me, isn't because they aren't trying, but what do you do when you are in one of those periods of extra-mega-super-frustrating schooling? I realized on Monday that I needed to take a giant step backwards with both of the kids, so we did lots of review and games, but even this didn't help much. I made shorter lessons, and shorter days and am now resigned to just giving Friday off. Sigh. Maybe this isn't the best thing to do since this just seems to give the rock more inertia...but at this point in the week I have decided that this, along with massive doses of chocolate, are my only recourse. Okay, I think I just needed a rant. If you have any good advice on what you do when all of the hard work feels pointless, I'm all ears. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Scream Yell Throw things Eat Watch ornery movies 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Have you tried keeping a journal of progress? When it's measured in tiny increments, seeing the progress you've made takes months, rather than weeks or days. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Targhee Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 I had one of those weeks. Not just one of those days but the whole long week. I realized that part of the problem is my own mounting frustration, that sinking feeling that the rock on my back will keep rolling back down the hill no matter how hard we trudge--maybe not all the way down the hill but at least part way. I am totally aware that what my kids are doing isn't intentional, isn't aimed at me, isn't because they aren't trying, but what do you do when you are in one of those periods of extra-mega-super-frustrating schooling? I realized on Monday that I needed to take a giant step backwards with both of the kids, so we did lots of review and games, but even this didn't help much. I made shorter lessons, and shorter days and am now resigned to just giving Friday off. Sigh. Maybe this isn't the best thing to do since this just seems to give the rock more inertia...but at this point in the week I have decided that this, along with massive doses of chocolate, are my only recourse. Okay, I think I just needed a rant. If you have any good advice on what you do when all of the hard work feels pointless, I'm all ears. The bolded above - this is what seems to happen in our house to if I try to lighten the load in anyway :001_unsure: I have found, however, that taking a complete break (like a week), where I can get myself reset, reorganized, remotivated, and redetermined, allows all of us to go back into work with better effectiveness. Besides a long break, I take time outs. "Mommy's not available right now." I usually have to hide in the bathroom to get any solitude :001_rolleyes: I often explode in anger, which is not anger at them but anger from frustration, and from feeling like not matter what I do I can't help the situation and I am failing at the task entrusted to me of teaching my children, in academics, in social skills, in morality, in life skills, etc. BUT the explosion usually hits the nearest person, the very kids I am trying to help. :sad: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
displace Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Exercise and field trips, change up the routine. Vacation. For me I need to make sure of self care too. I was impatient today and finally realized that I'd forgotten I only got X hours of sleep and I was awake for a while and I was just tired and hungry. I called a stop to work and we went swimming. I'm still tired and hungry but less grumpy and the kids are much happier. Simple but effective. And hopefully I'll sleep better tonight. ETA- kind of lame but I like to do laundry. It's upstairs away from anyone, I put on a podcast (homeschooling or homekeeping or just lighthearted) and just enjoy some relative peace. I occasionally lie down and just rest for a few min too :) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLittleBears Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Prayer, chocolate, magnesium supplements,camomile tea, and browsing this forum. In that order. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heathermomster Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 I hook up with a lady friend and have coffee. My friend is about to graduate her third homeschooled child, and she has been a wonderful source of support when working with my DD. We typically meet at 7pm at a book store. I also speak with another friend on the phone typically one hour per week. She homeschools with 6 children, 3 of which are three years old or younger. She is wonderfully honest and always tells me when I need to chill or buck up. I love that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FairProspects Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Support from friends, daily walks outside, and community. But if I'm being honest, sometimes the answer is I don't deal with it well, especially if I have taken on too much for a season. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymonster Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 I watch the movie Serenity a ton, and I will be watching tonight. It is not serene. Get the mail (and read the junk mail and flyers and then shred everything, including junk mail, one. page. at. a. time.). Consider going back to work and putting my kids with the "experts" all day and then getting an after school tutor who doubles as a chef. I think about this quite frequently lately! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Piano Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 Hugs to you! I hope you get some time to regroup. I hide in the closet/bathroom. We have a walk-in closet off our bathroom, so I can even lock myself in. I even have a little storage ottoman in there that I can sit on. (And sometimes I hide little treats for me in there, too. :) ) I desperately want a chef, too. Since our adventures into the world of food allergies, a huge part of my time has been spent either shopping for those special ingredients or doing the food prep itself. I never liked cooking to begin with, so this is quite difficult for me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 I coped with chocolate and caffeine for years. Now I cope with exercise and time with friends and the occasional food treat. I need more time alone than I used to. I try to keep quiet time in our daily schedule because I need a break by mid-day. They outnumber me 4:1 and everybody still needs me all day long. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 Mandatory mid afternoon breaks from each other, no matter what still needs doing. They go to their rooms to read/listen to audio books or rest or do something else quietly while i take a moment to do something I want to do, even if it is for just 10 minutes, then I pick myself up, tackle whatever tasks are on my list and regroup. And I try to schedule time out of the house without the kids at least once a month but I am going to try to make it once a week starting this summer. I also realized that I need something to do that I value that is not directly tied to the kids, something that gets me pumped. Another thing that really has helped is I have a friend come over and help me work on paperwork for the business, clean house with me, work on various house projects, or whatever, at least once a month usually twice a month. DH is hardly ever available but having another adult to hang out with and shoulder some of the burden (even if they are getting paid) really does help. She also knows my kids and can give me perspective when I get frustrated or have serious doubts. What has really helped, though, is starting with curriculum and goals for the year, then taking a calendar and breaking down all the things that need to get done by month/week working backwards from where I plan our 2 week break for summer (we do math/typing/reading remediation even in the summer but we have 2 week break in June, we only do school stuff in the mornings 3-4 days a week and we take another 2 week break in August) and I work backwards, keeping in mind any holidays or birthdays, etc. that I know we will want to take time off for. Written out like that I can keep us on track. If we are ahead in a subject and having a bad day I can keep that subject light or not do it at all. If we are having a tough day and behind in an area, I can focus my energies there and not worry too much about the rest. It keeps me sane. Also, I have a few things the kids can usually do independently of me that are ready to go at a moment's notice. If one runs into an issue I can usually pull out those independent things for the other one to tackle while I work with the one that is struggling. My kids are both more independent now than they were when we first started, though, which has made this year easier. Not easy. But definitely easier. That first year was hell on wheels. The second was really, really tough, too. I had a 3rd grader and a 6th grader. The material was getting harder but neither one could read independently, both were terribly behind in math, etc. I had a lot of doubts. There were a lot of tears from my end. But there were also some great days. I had to keep looking at the progress we have made, not the progress an NT family would be making. I had to keep reminding myself of how far we have come. And we really have come a long way. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maus Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 Caffeine, chocolate, weekly visits with my therapist, church. Now that my oldest is 12, grocery shopping ALL BY MYSELF! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citrusheights5 Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 Fun mindless sci-fI books. Not serious reading.. that is "work".. but I make sure I always have Mindless fiction to read.. in the bathroom with my headphones on. (Even if I don't play music), and tons of coffee. oh and Lunch by myself when I can swing it. I will bank childcare and swaps, and granny visits for this. I found that taking an hour to go and have Chinese food, really gives me some space to get my head on straighT, and lunchbox just about all my buget can take since it is usually cheep. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 I come here and help other people with their problems because it distracts me from my own. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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