La Condessa Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 My current little guy is almost eleven months old, and I want to start working on night weaning. The problem is, after years of sleep deprivation, I no longer fully wake to consciousness when I go to him in the night. I will get up, care for him, appear awake, and can even respond verbally if someone else tries to talk to me--but I have no memory of those events later, and no way to make myself remember at those times that I had other plans than just nursing him back down. I have tried changing the setup to see if I can get myself to wake up all the way, things like moving him further across the room, putting him in the port-a-crib, placing a large suitcase in my path, but these things have not made any difference that I can recall. I just go to bed at night with the baby in his bed and wake up with him nursing beside me. Dh and I joke that he has teleportation powers. How can I night wean this child? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IfIOnly Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 My wonderful hubby does the night weaning. :) It's the least he could do compared to my gestating, birthing, nursing (extended breastfeeding here...at least 18 months) and night nursing/waking, right? Ha! We do Dr. Sears's "crying in arms" and employ several of his other gentle night weaning suggestions in The Breastfeeding Book. I also recommend The No Cry Sleep Solution by Pantley which is a fabulous, most helpful book! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Since he is a reasonable age I would try putting him in another room. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalsummer Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Does DH wake up when DS does? If he does, can he initiate the not-boob comforting before you are able to unconsciously sleep-nurse? We night weaned by temporarily substituting a bottle (water, not milk), which was a pretty painless transition. It was about the same age, maybe a few months later. The last thing we dropped was the middle of the night nurse, though. First daytime nursing went, then the first-thing-in-the-morning nurse, then the going-to-sleep nurse (DH would dance the baby to sleep instead, very sweet), then, some months after weaning had started, I got rid of the middle-of-the-night nurse. I would definitely *not* take away two comforts at once by moving him out of the room at the same time as weaning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 I wore hard to get into night clothes. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minerva Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 My dh did the night weaning too. It is a really good solution if possible. Baby feels loved, papa gets to help, mama gets some rest. Win! Win! Win! Good luck. It is a difficult process but will be over soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K&Rs Mom Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 I agree with having dh do it. That worked for all of mine, because if I went in there they still expected milk but he could just rock them back to sleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Baby needs to be in another room, and hubby needs to tend to him at night. Hubby isn't going to give in and lactate ;-) nor are his "chest items" going to activate at the sound of a crying baby. Not only does Baby need to stop expecting nursing, but your "bits" need to stop expecting to nurse in the middle of the night, and cut down on production. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
La Condessa Posted March 18, 2015 Author Share Posted March 18, 2015 Dh will generally wake up eventually if the baby keeps crying for a while, but he can sleep through it for quite some time first. I am hesitant to move ds out of our room because I am hard of hearing and I don't want him crying and crying alone if dh doesn't wake. Dh is totally willing to help, but I don't want to hand the entire process over to him because he has a super full docket of court cases the next few months with really long hours. I just don't want to send him off to work totally sleep deprived when people's futures balance on his ability to communicate effectively, and I also don't want to delay night weaning another three or four months until dh has a less crazy docket. I thought I'd try rocking, patting, walking, etc. first and then wake dh and hand him off if everything I try doesn't work. The hard-to-get-into night clothes might help me wake up before feeding ds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pegs Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 I found that my toddler needed a certain amount of time at the breast in every 24 hour period, and that I could reduce the time I spent feeding at night by devoting some time to nursing in the afternoon. I chatted with him to keep him awake and encouraged him to feed until he was desperately bored. It was such an easy way to go about it. There's no way I could have handled settling him any other way as an utterly exhausted newly-single mum, but this was win win for us, because I was feeding less in the night, AND he was waking less. Thus, more sleep for all! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Why do you need to night-wean him? I like Pegs' comments. :-) Does your ds eat very much for supper/dinner? Sometimes it helps if baby has a substantial evening meal. He cannot sleep all night if he doesn't have enough food in his tummy (babies don't necessarily nurse during the night just because they are hungry, but still...) Also, you might try working on a bedtime, wherein you bathe baby and nurse him and cuddle and whatnot, then you put him to bed, all by his onesie, whether he is asleep or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertBlossom Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 I need to wean my 22 month old. I would be happy just night weaning her except she's gotten super clingy during the day too and I am so tired. She still wakes up several times a night and now she can climb out of her crib so she just climbs into bed with me. I am currently wearing bandaids on my nipples. It worked for my now 4.5 year who I weaned when he was 2. But this little one just tries to pull them off. She doesn't believe they are broken. *sigh* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertBlossom Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 I did night wean some of my older kids about thay age by setting up a pack n play on the other side of the house and letting them cio. By that age I didn't feel *as bad* letting them cio and it only took a couple days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fruitofthewomb Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 We co-sleep and I don't have the willpower it takes to night wean. And my dd is up every 2 hrs sometimes. She is 14 months old & my last baby so I have tried to embrace it. But I get so tired of the interrupted sleep. And DH is pressuring me to get her out of the bed. She gets hysterical if I don't nurse her! No advice-just commiserating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbecueMom Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 I also am struggling to night wean, and I have a DH who can't wake up anymore to kid sounds, or me kicking him to handle kid sounds (probably from the sleep apnea, CPAP coming soon). We did put his mattress on the floor next to ours, so he's not at bed-level anymore, but he is older (19 months). It helps a bit. After the last nursing session, DS whacked me in the throat with the flinging arm thing and threw a fit because my collarbone doesn't come off. I might be done with nursing all together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
La Condessa Posted March 18, 2015 Author Share Posted March 18, 2015 Why do you need to night-wean him? I like Pegs' comments. :-) Does your ds eat very much for supper/dinner? Sometimes it helps if baby has a substantial evening meal. He cannot sleep all night if he doesn't have enough food in his tummy (babies don't necessarily nurse during the night just because they are hungry, but still...) Also, you might try working on a bedtime, wherein you bathe baby and nurse him and cuddle and whatnot, then you put him to bed, all by his onesie, whether he is asleep or not. I don't need to night-wean, but it's pretty apparent that he is nursing for comfort more than hunger, at least for the first part of the night. With each of my first three, I night weaned intentionally when the time felt right, and that led pretty naturally into their learning to sleep through the night. I am constantly exhausted, and have been waking up with worsening back pain each morning, I think from sleeping turned to one side for nursing most of the night. He has a good dinner, bath, pjs, cuddles, and nurse before bed, but I do need to work on putting him down awake and not letting him nurse to sleep at the beginning of the night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 I don't need to night-wean, but it's pretty apparent that he is nursing for comfort more than hunger, at least for the first part of the night. With each of my first three, I night weaned intentionally when the time felt right, and that led pretty naturally into their learning to sleep through the night. I am constantly exhausted, and have been waking up with worsening back pain each morning, I think from sleeping turned to one side for nursing most of the night. He has a good dinner, bath, pjs, cuddles, and nurse before bed, but I do need to work on putting him down awake and not letting him nurse to sleep at the beginning of the night. :grouphug: It's normal for children to nurse for comfort more than for hunger. That's one of the best things about nursing. :-) If you are constantly exhausted and are waking up with pack pain each morning, that's a good reason to help your sweet baby sleep through the night (I kind of like saying it that way, "sleeping through the night," instead of "night weaning.") I'm thinking it's going to be important for you to move his bed to another room. It isn't working now with it in your room, right? Well... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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