Halcyon Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 DS12: Mom, i need help with this essay! Me: why don't you try and work on it a bit longer alone. DS12: No, I REALLY NEED HELP!!! Me: Just start from the beginning, follow the outline and do your best. DS12: No, I tried that, I'm confused--please help! I go over to help. Make some suggestions. DS shaking his head and moaning as I do so. DS12: No, you don't understand!! You're not doing it right. You don't understand the question. (grumbles in frustration as he takes the keyboard back). Never mind. Tweens are difficult. That is all. :cursing: 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckymama Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 I'll let you know when it gets better. Just yesterday dd showed me the Palm of No Talking after asking for my help :rolleyes: 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quark Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Did he express *his* understanding of the question? Lots of sympathy and :grouphug: . My usually easy-going kiddo is doing the same thing here. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quark Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Just yesterday dd showed me the Palm of No Talking after asking for my help :rolleyes: Oh no, not the PALM!!! I think it is only a matter of time here because I have done it to DS before in moments of hurry/ stress and he tends to imitate what I do in some areas...sigh. What was I thinking? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RootAnn Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Ha! That's what I get when dd#2 asks for help in math. :cursing: Right now, the only thing that works is to let her calm herself down first, offer one piece of advice, then to leave her to think about it. If she needs more, she comes back for more. If I keep trying to help without giving her a cooling off time, she rebuffs me, calling me a 'horrible person.' :grouphug: 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mc26 Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Yep. DS2 and I had a similar "conversation" this morning over math. (And he is only 10.) It was lovely. I stomped upstairs in a huff, and rage-folded laundry. So I've got that going for me... 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadrunner Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Yes, my 10 year old does this now. You are telling me this is a teen thing and it's going to get worse? Ohhhhhhhh nooooooo. :ohmy: 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Yep. DS2 and I had a similar "conversation" this morning over math. (And he is only 10.) It was lovely. I stomped upstairs in a huff, and rage-folded laundry. So I've got that going for me... I love rage folding towels. Really easy and mindless. Something about rage folding socks just makes me even angrier. :tongue_smilie: By the way, hugs and best wishes OP. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Truly I am sorry that other mamas go through this...but I'M SO GLAD IT'S NOT JUST US. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurelia Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 The only way I know how to clean is to rage-clean. Lucky for any visitors, my house is almost spotless right now. And DD is almost-but-not-quite-11. I may tear down the whole house and rebuild it from scratch by the time she's 14. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quark Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Glad to know about rage-clean...nice to have a name for it. My countertops always sparkle after an argument! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Five More Minutes Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Glad to know about rage-clean...nice to have a name for it. My countertops always sparkle after an argument! I was thinking the same thing! I'm so glad to now have an appropriate label for what I do: "rage-clean." These boards are just a wealth of information! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted March 18, 2015 Author Share Posted March 18, 2015 Oh, and I forgot to mention, he does this not-so-subtle side elbow thing when i lean over his computer to look at his work. Like he's saying "get close, but not TOO close" or "help me, but don't HELP me." I was like, why are you poking your elbow into me. And he's like 'I can do it! I don't need your help!! Just nevermind!!!" :huh: 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Yep. DS2 and I had a similar "conversation" this morning over math. (And he is only 10.) It was lovely. I stomped upstairs in a huff, and rage-folded laundry. So I've got that going for me... Oh, the imagery. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 The only way I know how to clean is to rage-clean. Lucky for any visitors, my house is almost spotless right now. And DD is almost-but-not-quite-11. I may tear down the whole house and rebuild it from scratch by the time she's 14. Oh, so true! Hmm, now, can I channel that ire into rage decluttering? But only as far as the car. No rage driving to go rage donation-drop-off'ing. That would be bad. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalphs Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Hugs!I empathize. Been there, done that.I did discover having my favorite flavor of chocolate on hand does help get you through. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
g1234 Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Okay. I think I really needed this thread. DD13 and math...ugh! "Help me. No, not like that. Come here. Where is my mistake? Don't look at what I'm doing. Explain this. Stop talking....NOW. Can't you see I'm thinking? Where are you going? I still don't understand this problem." Gaaaah! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted March 19, 2015 Author Share Posted March 19, 2015 "where are you going? I still don't understand this problem!" :lol: :lol: 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dereksurfs Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 "where are you going? I still don't understand this problem!" :lol: :lol: It sounds like a combo on hormones, brain stretching and wanting desperately to work independently. But then hating to admit one still need mom's help! Now if we are truly honest with ourselves here is an interesting question. Were we even as conflicted as young teens? I know I have vague (possibly trying to suppress/forget) flashbacks of asking my mom for help on my papers, then telling her 'No, No, you don't understand!' in a very frustrated, obnoxious teenager fashion. She somehow managed to get through it and still help me, Lord only knows how. But not without first questioning her own sanity and mine, I'm sure. :tongue_smilie: Maybe some of you were more of the calm, easy going teen types. When it came to writing papers I definitely was not during those years. :ohmy: Math was a different story. I don't think I ever asked for her help nor did I need it. I think that, at least partially, added to the frustration. While I had mastery in some areas I felt like a complete flop in others. Argh!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Yup. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minerva Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 I have had more LOL moments in this thread than any in a long time. I realize this is very mean of me since my oldest is nine and my comeuppance is coming, but I am sure that all of you will get through the teen years unscathed if wield your sharp humor on your kidlings in times of desperate schooling. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto2Cs Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 This sounds like just about EVERY conversation between dd and I these days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RootAnn Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 Were we even as conflicted as young teens? My mother said she did us a great service in never helping us with our homework. My spelling/grammar/usage-loving older sister marked up my writing papers in exchange for me checking her Accounting homework & tutoring her in math as necessary. I did NOT engage in any of these type interactions over school work with my mother. Over OTHER things? Absolutely. To quote the Fresh Prince, "parents just don't understand." (I often wonder if Will Smith lets his kids watch this.) :laugh: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dereksurfs Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 My mother said she did us a great service in never helping us with our homework. My spelling/grammar/usage-loving older sister marked up my writing papers in exchange for me checking her Accounting homework & tutoring her in math as necessary. I did NOT engage in any of these type interactions over school work with my mother. Over OTHER things? Absolutely. To quote the Fresh Prince, "parents just don't understand." (I often wonder if Will Smith lets his kids watch this.) :laugh: Wow, your mom sure dodged that bullet! Mine was not so lucky I'm afraid, though she was a great help I must admit. All this in spite of my teenager ways. But now you have me curious. With 5 of your own do you somehow avoid helping them like your mother did with you? If so, I wonder how you pull that off? :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RootAnn Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 I didn't want someone who assured me that "algebra hadn't been invented when I was your age" to help me with math. She also tried to convince me that she was born "before polynomials were invented." DS#2 growled at me today during his reading lesson that he doesn't like being corrected by me. I told him to get used to it & ended the lesson. :lol: My mother & I have made very different parenting & life choices even though we both had five kids and each married a fantastic man. Sometimes I wonder if many of the choices I make even now are influenced by my wish to be anti-my-mother. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dereksurfs Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 I didn't want someone who assured me that "algebra hadn't been invented when I was your age" to help me with math. She also tried to convince me that she was born "before polynomials were invented." Wow, yeah. She really didn't want to discuss math, especially algebra! ;) My mother & I have made very different parenting & life choices even though we both had five kids and each married a fantastic man. Sometimes I wonder if many of the choices I make even now are influenced by my wish to be anti-my-mother. Ok, at first I thought were doing a more hands-off homeschooling, if there is such a thing. Actually the closest I have heard to this approach is the Robinson Method which we actually liked very early on. He didn't believe in helping his homeschooled kids with their work as he found it more educational if they discover the answers on their own. Maximum independence was his mantra. Upon reflection, I see how part of this came about after his wife died tragically and he was left with the option of continuing homeschooling while working or sending them to public school. He chose the prior and it actually worked out fine for his six children, all things considered of course. His curriculum is based largely upon that experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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