I'm at the end of my tether with my 8yo DD & her clothes!

[Daisy]

My 8yo DD HATES clothes. Okay, not all clothes. She likes sweat pants, pajamas and Land's End gunny sack type dresses. That is it! She had a complete meltdown last night getting ready for Awanas. She finally went to Awanas with a Land's End dress on with her Awana shirt over the top. She cannot stand to have anything around her waist such as a belt. She is super tall and super skinny. So a belt is necessary with jeans, pants, skirts, etc. I'm so completely worn out. She is an otherwise very well behaved child (she is type A, hard worker, smart, gets along well with others, eats whatever you put in front of her, etc). She hides in her clothes and cries her eyes out at the thought of having to put on a pair of jeans and literally gets so upset that she won't listen or obey.

 

I do understand her frustration. Girls jeans are low waisted (even lower waisted on a long torso, long legged gal) and they drive her bananas, but WHAT CAN I DO?? I've hunted everywhere. We've tried on clothes at Mervyns, JCPennys, Target, the mall, and she cannot stand any of them. So do I just buy her Land's End dresses for the next 10 years? I don't allow Hanes sweat to be worn out in public. BTW, we sometimes have the same issue with socks and sneakers. She is a flip-flop girl.

 

Any advice??

[StacyWithFourRugrats]

Just from the sounds of it, maybe it is possible her skin is VERY sensitive and she can't stand things too close to her body. I had a horrible time growing up with some clothes, especially socks. I couldn't handle them unless they fit just so on my body. There is a condition for this tho I can not remember the name of it.

 

Just a thought.

[Mrs Mungo]

Old Navy has tons of long tops that are very dress-like this season. They are soft, t-shirt fabric but look decent. Would she wear those with funky tights or leggings from Sock Dreams, Gymboree or Hannah Anderson? I'd let her wear what she likes to wear as long as she isn't dressing like a mini Paris Hilton and she doesn't look sloppy.

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

Would it be truly awful if she wore only dresses for the duration? Maybe with Hanes shorts underneath if she were doing something active?

 

With an opinion that strong from an otherwise wonderful child, I'd probably let her choose her own clothes. It's not a hill to die on. And you can get LE dresses on the cheap sometimes via clearance or ebay.

[Daisy]

I agree. I'm tired of fighting this one. I think I've just reached the point where I believe she really can't do anything about it, KWIM? Does anyone know of any place that carries dresses like Land's End that aren't quite so pricey? I've never minded that she just wear dresses. I just am tired of her liking something, us buying it and then her pitching a fit when she has to actually wear it.

[Mrs Mungo]

Would it be truly awful if she wore only dresses for the duration? Maybe with Hanes shorts underneath if she were doing something active?

 

With an opinion that strong from an otherwise wonderful child, I'd probably let her choose her own clothes. It's not a hill to die on. And you can get LE dresses on the cheap sometimes via clearance or ebay.

 

The military is seeping out. I'm always telling people they can't fall on their sword over everything, HA!

 

eta: Daisy, take a look at Old Navy's dresses/shirts

 

http://www.oldnavy.com/browse/category.do?cid=6066

 

I think with shorts or leggings underneath they'd be cute but non-constricting.

[Laura in VA]

and enjoy it! It is very hard to find jeans for my dd as well. Even when she wears a belt, I have to be on crack patrol! :o

[Laura in VA]

I think I'm slowly losing it.

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

The military is seeping out. I'm always telling people they can't fall on their sword over everything, HA!

 

 

LOL

 

And I love your signature line!

[Chris in VA]

Crack patrol--ROFL!!

BTW, Nature Girl is ok.

I'll call ya tomorrow.

Chris

[Laurie]

I got tired of trying to find some plain jeans in the girls' department that aren't low-cut, glittery, etc. I started buying jeans for my skinny dd in the boys' department at JC Penney. Shhhh! Don't tell her!

[Harriet Vane]

I think dresses, sweats, maybe knit pants, are fine.

 

My own dd has some of the same issues, though she doesn't fight me about clothes. She is tall and VERY thin, though, and it is virtually impossible to find her jeans that fit. Often if she wears a belt she ends up with light red welts on her waist from where the jeans bunched up. It does seem uncomfortable.

 

As long as her clothes are clean and coordinated, I think dresses, sweats, or knits are fine.

[Herding Cats in NC]

What about yoga style pants? My dd loves these. They're comfortable like sweats but look a little bit nicer. Though I must confess, I don't mind sweats as long as we don't have anything important planned. But, then again, we've been known to school in our pjs on occasion, so I may not be the best one to give advice!

[Unicorn.]

I will second the look at Old Navy. You might be able to find her some nice slacks with at least a partial elastic waist. For jeans, try a western wear store and look for the brand 20X. Those and Rocky Mountain slims were all that would fit my tall skinny dd. They are kinda pricey though. Also, I buy cotton knit pants (leggings) at Target- they are nicer than sweats, and not as uncomfortable as jeans. She could wear those w/ her awana shirt.

 

HTH-

[Claire]

She cannot stand to have anything around her waist such as a belt. She is super tall and super skinny. So a belt is necessary with jeans, pants, skirts, etc. I'm so completely worn out. She is an otherwise very well behaved child (she is type A, hard worker, smart, gets along well with others, eats whatever you put in front of her, etc). She hides in her clothes and cries her eyes out at the thought of having to put on a pair of jeans and literally gets so upset that she won't listen or obey.

Any advice??

 

Actually, this is a classic symptom of sensory processing disorder (used to be called sensory integration disorder or SID). With what you describe, it is limited to a hyper-sensitivity to touch. This is not something that the child can control, as it is a nervous system response that is "out of sync" with the cause.

 

Occupational therapists who are trained in this area have protocols that help normalize the nervous system response to stimulation. "Brushing" is one of the most common protocols. If you post on the Special Needs Board, you will find other parents who have dealt with this issue. This type of problem, especially when it is not combined with other hypo- or hyper-sensitivities, tends to get better with age but there is no guarantee that the child will totally outgrow it. Some adults have it and simply adjust to it by wearing only clothing that is comfortable to them.

[Daisy]

I wouldn't mind yoga pants but I have to alter every single last pair because they are always HUGE (like falling down) in the waist, otherwise they are too short.

 

I don't mind sweats at home but I'd prefer we looked a little more "put together" when we are at homeschool park day or going to piano lessons, that sort of thing. Of course in the backyard, climbing trees, I don't care.

 

I was this exact same way as a child. I hated anything with elastic and back in the 70's what DIDN'T have elastic poofy sleeves?? LOL. I want to help her. I want to find something that she can wear and look nice in. So I guess Land's End dresses it is.

 

I don't get MAD at her. I just am clueless how to FIX it. DH thinks we should just take some tax return money and buy her five dresses from Land's End and call it good. So I guess that is what I'm going to do.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Land's End Overstocks has a lot of yoga pants, leggings and skirts in the $10 range. The yoga pants are designed to hit mid calf. If you want a longer leg, try the leggings.

 

BTW, I like LE because the inside of the clothes feel soft too.

[clane]

We have some issues with a tall skinny girl here as well. DD wears many dresses with bike shorts or leggings (from Gymboree, Childrens Place and sometimes Target/Walmart), but then it looks like long tops with bottoms. To get dresses that fit her shoulders, we have to get them much smaller than she needs in length. I should really learn to sew....

[Daisy]

I could get by with sewing, but I need a sewing machine!

[Jenny in Florida]

Mine was actually a little younger, but she went through a phase (about three years) when she couldn't stand anything tight around her waist. She had the opposite problem from your daughter, by the way, being, shall we say, not tall and a bit chunky. We, too, tried everywhere for jeans that she would consent to wear, without much luck.

 

As someone else mentioned, it's actually not unusual for very bright kids to be especially sensitive and to have these kinds of quirks. It's not a behavior issue; they are genuinely miserable.

 

So, mine wore mostly dresses for most of that time. I wrote recently in another post about the wonders of T-shirt dresses and how they got us through that period. Basically, you buy a T-shirt and a yard or so of coordinating fabric. You cut off the shirt at just above the girl's waist level and sew on the fabric to make a skirt. Hem, and you're done. They take about an hour, tops, to make and are inexpensive and even kind of fun. My daughter loved "designing" her own dresses. And you can vary the weight of the shirt and type of fabric, whether the shirt is a tank or short-sleeved or long, in order to make them work for different weather and situations.

 

She also wore old-fashioned "jumpers," which can come in lots of different fabrics and can be paired with turtle-necks and tights if you need more warmth. Toward the end of this period, she also consented to wear over-alls, because they hang from the shoulders, instead of the waist. They aren't exactly "formal," but they worked for most situations in which jeans were appropriate. We used to be able to buy pretty no-nonsense over-alls at J.C. Penney, although that was a few years ago.

 

Just so you know, my daughter did eventually grow out of this. There came a time when she was doing some theatre even for which she had to wear jeans. We found a pair made of stretch denim at the Gap, and bought them, assuming she'd wear them for the event and then pass them along to a friend. As it turned out, though, she loved them and wore them until the fell apart.

 

At 13, she's still very picky, but now lives in jeans. So, there is hope.

 

--Jenny

[Tami]

Buy her some Hanes and let her wear what she is comfortable in. Sweats are not immodest, so this is not a ethical/moral issue. Don't let this stress you out - it is just not worth it in the scheme of things. Allow her her quirks in this area. It sounds like it is more your problem than hers.

 

What is the big deal about getting her to wear jeans? Seriously, just let it go and drop the expectation. I wouldn't spend anymore brain power trying to figure out all the why's -- just let it go.

 

Just my opinion.

[Kate CA]

She likes sweat pants, pajamas and Land's End gunny sack type dresses.

 

These are on quite a clearance sale on their overstock site. This is absolutely the time to buy them. :)

 

There are some very cute made-of-sweat-material kinds of pants that are available. If you have the longer shirts over them they might work. I would take her with you and have her try them on. It might be that she just does not like the feel of jeans. One of my dds does not care for hers unless the waist is softer.

 

For the older girls we do sometimes buy boys jeans instead of girls. They fit them modestly and work just fine. :)

 

Warmly,

Kate

[Daisy]

Thanks everyone for the advice. Sorry, I sound a bit whiny. I'm so in a grouchy mood today. I do appreciate all the advice and I'm going to pursue all the options suggested. I guess I just need an emotional booster today. I don't want clothes to be a source of conflict. It is so not worth it.

[gardenschooler]

Her test for a dress was whether or not she could do a cartwheel in it. I'll never forget the day we went to Old Navy and found THE dress - stretch cotton blend, with little flowers all over it, in all different colors.

 

I bought every size and color they had. She wore these, and almost only these, for *several years*. :D

[theodwyn]

This is almost all my dd wears. She prefers black, then any shirt goes with them and I don't have to fuss at her about whether or not something matches. She doesn't like anything with buttons, snaps or zippers! I find the black yoga style pants at Target for a very reasonable price.

Wendy

[Suzanne in ABQ]

Ah. No sewing machine, huh?

 

I was going to say that for my tall, skinny girl, I buy knit pants and take them in. Or, I buy warm-up style pants and add a drawstring (if they don't already have one).

 

You might want to take some more of that tax return money and invest in a sewing machine. Your problem isn't going to go away any time soon. Next year, the problem will get worse because most clothes will come in 10/12, which means that they are all huge, and have to fit for two years.

 

My kids hated stuff around their waist, too, unless it was soft (comfy). Yoga pants, taken in with two darts in the back, have been our mainstay for dd. I got some at Lands' End, some at Sears, and some at Target. Coupled with a T-shirt (untucked), they make a nice outfit.

 

Again, I'd highly recommend getting a sewing machine. You'll need it. It seems that kids clothes are all sized to fit the average size. And, with so many kids overweight (I always hear about them, though I seldom see them), the average size kid is much larger than our lean kids.

 

I'm rambling. Sorry.

Get thee a sewing machine, and learn how to make darts (if you don't know how already). :o

[Arch at Home]

I have never really pursued whether jeans bother my dds or not. They don't wear. Lucky for me they are hand-me-downs and they have enough clothing. Your dd wearing her Awana t-shirt over her dress reminds me of my dds. They will often do this and have the dress act as a skirt. Currently they are experimenting with layering. I see long shirts under short sleeved dresses with sweaters or fleece jackets on top. My oldest will often wear tights topped with leggings under her dress. I wouldn't wear the combinations but I figure that it is one way to develop their personal style. You can take this with a grain of salt as it is coming from someone who lives in turtlenecks, cardigens and black jeans.