CAMom Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 Ronette, I just assumed by Astrid's post that she had received neg. rep for her comments. I wasn't telling you to :chillpill: I honestly didn't think anything you said was wrong. I agree that they seem like great kids who love their parents, and more importantly, God. I did think it was a little odd that they declared their purity in their announcement and assumed they meant s*xually pure. I'm sorry if I offended. You know me and I wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings! Just wanted to clear that up!! :grouphug: No offense taken, friend.:) I meant to put a smilie at the end. FWIW, I didn't give Astrid a negative rep.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 I don't quite understand why it's so hard for some to be happy for them, but ok. Oh, I'm happy for them. It is the etiquette of the announcement that struck me as odd. There are some things the general internet population doesn't need to know - whether it is their purity or someone else's lack thereof. . And personally I'd be leary of accepting gifts from strangers and groupies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 No offense taken, friend.:) I meant to put a smilie at the end. FWIW, I didn't give Astrid a negative rep.;) Good! I was so afraid I had upset you! And I was sure you didn't neg rep Astrid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jugglin'5 Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 I'm very happy for them! I would be surprised if anyone here wasn't. I'm very happy for them, and hope they have a wonderful, long life together. I don't quite understand why it's so hard for some to be happy for them, but ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetbaby Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 I'm so happy for them. They look so adorable! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 Yes, see, that's what I was saying! There are virtually no details about their respective lives, except perhaps one of the most INTIMATE! LOL! And I'm not knocking it by any means; I think it's great too. Just struck me as odd that so many were asking, "Who's Josh Duggar?" but we knew THAT about him! :-) astrid I understand what you're saying Astrid, and I think it's kind of funny too. And also kind of strangely sad because even before the wedding they're out there kind of marketing their marriage. And I mean, yeah, after the wedding we'd all presume that neither of them were virgins anymore, but I don't think anyone would spend any time really thinking about it. I don't know. It's a little like the opposite of voyeurism. Is it Dugguerism? Is it WatchUseurism? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 What bugs me is that purity is so much more than physical restraint. Humans are humans, and I'm going to have a very difficult time believing neither of them has had a lustful or impure thought toward each other, ever. :iagree::iagree::iagree: And I just said something like that to someone else. Except you said it better because I'm feeling frustrated. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anissarobert Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 There is something about these forums that is seriously addicting. My kids are with my parents so I can finish my lesson plans, and I am sitting her reading abut the engagement of someone I had never heard of. (Seldom watch TV.):001_smile::001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karenciavo Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 There is something about these forums that is seriously addicting. My kids are with my parents so I can finish my lesson plans, and I am sitting her reading abut the engagement of someone I had never heard of. (Seldom watch TV.):001_smile::001_smile: Yup. That didn't take long. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 The entire website thing struck me as kind of odd. Almost like a marketing ploy. Listing the registry in a wedding announcement just seems to be tacky to me. Maybe I'm too old school to appreciate it. Oh, I agree. I love how they have a link for "marriage tools." Ummm, honey, how about you actually get married, try using some of those tools for yourselves, and then make recommendations? I really don't mean to come down hard on them. I'm sure they're a lovely young couple. But I see a lot of horses being put before carts on that website and I just don't feel like that's the best way to start out in married life. They need to :chillpill:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli in TN Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 Oh, I agree. I love how they have a link for "marriage tools." Ummm, honey, how about you actually get married, try using some of those tools for yourselves, and then make recommendations? :. Marriage tools!?!? That sounds wildly inappropriate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jugglin'5 Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 Marriage tools!?!? That sounds wildly inappropriate. Kelli, you're so baaaad. :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 Marriage tools!?!? That sounds wildly inappropriate. Naughty girl! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle T Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 Oh, I agree. I love how they have a link for "marriage tools." Ummm, honey, how about you actually get married, try using some of those tools for yourselves, and then make recommendations? I really don't mean to come down hard on them. I'm sure they're a lovely young couple. But I see a lot of horses being put before carts on that website and I just don't feel like that's the best way to start out in married life. They need to :chillpill:. Whaddya think? Perfect gift for the guy who has everything! :D Michelle T Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 Who? :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tibbyl Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 .. But, it grates on me when people (and I've seen this more than once) point out that they're getting marriage as virgins or getting married with "purity." What bugs me is that purity is so much more than physical restraint. Humans are humans, and I'm going to have a very difficult time believing neither of them has had a lustful or impure thought toward each other, ever... If they have never had a lustful thought about one another, they should seriously reconsider their pending marriage plans. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 Well, I love seeing people get married. There just seem to be so many negative comments on this thread. Nit-picking over so many things. I'm surprised. If one of our children ("our" is referring to the ladies on this board) created that blog and wrote those comments, we would probably be pleased as punch and look forward to congratulatory comments from the other ladies here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tibbyl Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 Would sexual relations during engagement be considered adultery in biblical times? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jugglin'5 Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 Fornication (which was not considered to be as serious, since it did not involve betrayal of the betrothed), not adultery. It would be considered adultery if one had relations with someone besides the betrothed. That suspicion was why Joseph wanted to put Mary away (divorce). Of course he then married her after he was apprised of the facts of the case.:001_smile: Would sexual relations during engagement be considered adultery in biblical times? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 Marriage tools!?!? That sounds wildly inappropriate. Why, Miss Kelli, I haven't a clue as to what you mean! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 Well, I love seeing people get married. There just seem to be so many negative comments on this thread. Nit-picking over so many things. I'm surprised. If one of our children ("our" is referring to the ladies on this board) created that blog and wrote those comments, we would probably be pleased as punch and look forward to congratulatory comments from the other ladies here. Honestly Dawn, it's because I hold marriage in such high esteem that I have made comments about that site. Because I know that under what could be deemed ideal circumstances marriage is hard. Starting out in life is hard. Learning how to live as an adult is hard. And having to do all of that under public scrutiny is harder still. If this couple just quietly got engaged and went about their life together I wouldn't have a word to say about it. But I think that when you take what is most tender and sweet and personal in your life and stick it up on a website complete with bridal registry, and then you include links for all kinds of pictures and photo ops and media coverage and marriage tools....well you've now just invited me to say whatever I like. If they want to be left alone they should act like it. Having said all that, I don't really care one way or the other. They are not my friends or relatives. Everything that's been said here was just meant in a chatty kind of way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 But I think that when you take what is most tender and sweet and personal in your life and stick it up on a website complete with bridal registry, ... What about announcements in the newspapers? I always thought that was odd. And that's been done for many years before the internet. I wonder, did any of the WTMers here have their photos in the papers announcing an engagement or wedding? And why would someone want to do that? I like following the Duggars. I'm jealous that they are living freely the way they want to live. My DH and I not on the same page in either religion or number of children. So I'm always interested in seeing families who actually agree on big points like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 But I think that when you take what is most tender and sweet and personal in your life and stick it up on a website complete with bridal registry, and then you include links for all kinds of pictures and photo ops and media coverage and marriage tools....well you've now just invited me to say whatever I like. If they want to be left alone they should act like it. But what is to scrutinize? The fact that they are marrying young? How can you scrutinize that? Why would you? We had friends who created a blog prior to getting married and it included a story of how they met, the details of the wedding invitation, their bridal registry and so on. I never thought anything negative about it. And, how is their blog any different than one we would create where we have sources of information compiled. It's not like they sent a letter to your address asking you to look at their blog. I think it's great that they are taking time to focus on things like "marriage tools" instead of just sitting around doing online gaming together like some young engaged couples I knew. I also think the reference to purity is an encouragement to young adults out there just as I see books written by young adults for other young adults on purity to be useful. I read Passion and Purity by Elizabeth Elliot when I was young -- should she not have written that either? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jugglin'5 Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 Yeah, what she said. I really do wish them all the best, and I don't mock purity before marriage. I do think, however, that when they look back on this, they are going to ask themselves, "What were we thinking?" Hopefully they will be able to laugh about it, because they have a strong marriage. I'm sure they will. Honestly Dawn, it's because I hold marriage in such high esteem that I have made comments about that site. Because I know that under what could be deemed ideal circumstances marriage is hard. Starting out in life is hard. Learning how to live as an adult is hard. And having to do all of that under public scrutiny is harder still. If this couple just quietly got engaged and went about their life together I wouldn't have a word to say about it. But I think that when you take what is most tender and sweet and personal in your life and stick it up on a website complete with bridal registry, and then you include links for all kinds of pictures and photo ops and media coverage and marriage tools....well you've now just invited me to say whatever I like. If they want to be left alone they should act like it. Having said all that, I don't really care one way or the other. They are not my friends or relatives. Everything that's been said here was just meant in a chatty kind of way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli in TN Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 What about announcements in the newspapers? I always thought that was odd. And that's been done for many years before the internet. I wonder, did any of the WTMers here have their photos in the papers announcing an engagement or wedding? And why would someone want to do that? . But there is not usually a purity report in the newspaper. Or marriage tools. It is usually just an announcement about the engagement or wedding day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 But what is to scrutinize? The fact that they are marrying young? How can you scrutinize that? Why would you? No. That's not my point at all. I take issue with the selling of themselves and their relationship and it is no different than Brittney Spears or Paris Hilton or whoever else. They are putting themselves out there in the same way and the bottom line is crystal clear: there is money to be made. It's not like they sent a letter to your address asking you to look at their blog. I think it's great that they are taking time to focus on things like "marriage tools" instead of just sitting around doing online gaming together like some young engaged couples I knew. Their focusing on "marriage tools" is not the problem. The problem is that they have no marriage and they have no tools, so what is the point of that tab? We recently had the chance to spend an afternoon with a young engaged couple. Their family situation is similar to that of the Duggars (Conservative Christian families, he's the oldest of 8, his mom has a 5 month old baby, etc.) and while this couple is receiving premarital counseling, and I know for a fact that they've committed themselves to chastity, they felt no need to provide me with marriage tools. In fact, in the conversations that we had, we (married women) were providing THEM with marriage tools. Furthermore, they have a wedding blog but it doesn't mention their virginal status. People who know them already know that. And it's none of anyone else's business. I read Passion and Purity by Elizabeth Elliot when I was young -- should she not have written that either? Passion and Purity was not written during Elisabeth and Jim's engagement. It wasn't published until 1984, and most people can agree that she knew what she was talking about by then. Furthermore, I really, really doubt that Elisabeth Elliot would have ever dreamt of publishing her virginity all over a blog. She's a lot more classy than that. But there is not usually a purity report in the newspaper. Or marriage tools. It is usually just an announcement about the engagement or wedding day. Exactly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted August 30, 2008 Author Share Posted August 30, 2008 Goodness gracious! Such a fuss about a wedding announcement. I was really just thrilled for them and thought that others here who have posted about the Duggars before might want to have the latest news. If you don't care about the Duggars or are tired of hearing about them, one has to wonder why you would bother reading the thread. It's not like I lured anyone in with a cryptic title. Fwiw, I still think the purity "announcement" was meant as an encouragement to other young folks so they can see that it can actually be done. Obviously, we cannot not know anything about the purity of their minds - only God knows that. But in a day and age when premarital s*x is promoted as the norm and even desirable, and so many young Christians are being bombarded with that message at every turn, I think it is encouraging to read that some people still take God seriously about the issue and are able, by His grace, to enter the marriage state that way. With all the obnoxious adverstising (Cialis, Viagra, beer, cars, etc.) that promotes s*x in a very in your face kind of way I think stating that they are entering marriage in purity is a very discrete way of letting people know that not having s*x before marriage is desirable and do-able. I do not think they were trying to put themselves out there - I'm the one who did that by posting the link. I just happened to come across the link on someone else's blog. I think their blog is their way of making the info about the wedding convenient to access for those who plan to come to the wedding or for friends who may not be able to attend but would like to send a gift. I do not think they are expecting those of us who have seen them on tv to send gifts - they just don't come across to me as greedy types. As far as the marriage tools go, well since there is no actual info on that page yet it remains to be seen what their motives were on that one. I'd be loathe to make a hasty judgment on that. Perhaps it will be a list of resources they found helpful during their courtship - or perhaps it will be a compilation that other older folks have provided for them. Maybe we should withhold judgment on that until it's actually up on the website. I'm guessing that page was intended to be a help to others - not a fount of wisdom from two young people who haven't even said their vows yet. Sorry for any distress I may have caused by passing on the good news. Maybe we should just get back to our regularly scheduled programming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted August 30, 2008 Share Posted August 30, 2008 Sorry for any distress I may have caused by passing on the good news. Maybe we should just get back to our regularly scheduled programming. I appreciated the news as I had no idea, and I'm genuinely pleased for them. I think the idea of making a website for information is completely appropriate considering the technology today. People walk around with cell phones in their hands or attached to their heads. Cell phones connect to the internet. Handheld computers are available. It's just not surprising to me though I'm LOL that it bothers so many people here. I also like the idea that they are letting people know about their purity. I have not personally known ANYONE who got married in a "pure" state, and yes that includes me. The concept wasn't even known to me when I was younger! I think it's pretty awesome and it's a nice thing to know that there are still lovely things like that that happen in this sometimes-not-so-nice world. And last, I personally think this thread is infinitely more interesting than the politic threads. In fact, I really dislike discussing politics so I haven't even read any of the politics threads. Too bad the people who dislike the Duggars couldn't resist reading (and posting) this thread in a similar fashion. But some people sure love sharing their opinions! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*anj* Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 And last, I personally think this thread is infinitely more interesting than the politic threads. In fact, I really dislike discussing politics so I haven't even read any of the politics threads. Too bad the people who dislike the Duggars couldn't resist reading (and posting) this thread in a similar fashion. But some people sure love sharing their opinions! :) Yep, we all do. And what good is a message board without people who love sharing their opinions? ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julpost Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 I love that family. I am inspired by their way of life amd their incredibly strong faith. I've learned a lot from reading their stories, from how to cope w/struggles and discouragement to reveling in the joy of family life. It would be a blessing to meet them one day. I also think it's quite a testimony that the young couple want to raise their family in the same way they were raised. As they say, the proof is in the pudding..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyAberlin Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 I figured out that if each of their 18 kids has 18 kids they will have 324 grand kids. Can you even imagine? Trying to keep up with all those Birthdays would be crazy! (I don't mean that in a negative way or anything.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 My son will be happy to hear this. He watched the one episode of the show I caught and decided 18 kids is a great idea. He told me I should have that many...hmmm maybe if I married a rich man, and never had a complicated pregnancy again, because I can guarantee as much as I love kids, 18 on my own, no way! As for the announcement, I am hppy for them and wish them the best, but do think they way they announced was tacky. If they wanted a site that linked to their registry and had an rsvp link they cold have created it for their invited guests, and then put a general announcement on the family's main site. I do not think the public in general needs to have all the details of the wedding, registry etc. It is just a way to exploit his "popularity" for more gifts imo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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