old

[Paisley Hedgehog]

nm

[sweetbaby]

:lurk5:

[Ellie]

I usually just took time off from Official School Stuff for a season. A couple of weeks was usually enough, although once I burned us out on Official School Stuff, and when I put the books away at Thanksgiving, which was usual for us, I didn't open them again until the next fall :-)

 

Good thing I hsed in California, lol.

[Alana in Canada]

Wow. Seven years?!

 

That's amazing. I'm sorry I don't have any suggestions, I just wanted to reach out and give you a hug.:grouphug:

 

Most of all, let go of the guilt of perfection. You cannot do it all--it's OK. If you need the kids to get dressed from the dryer and eat from the microwave for a time, that's OK.

 

You need to build in something to look forward too--is it already there and you aren't seeing it? Can it be a new read aloud? A 15 minute walk, alone?

 

Can you start to teach them to take over some of the chores?

 

I wish I had something more encouraging to say.

[Deanna in TN]

When we started school a couple of weeks ago, I had the worst attitude I have ever had since we started homeschooling 7 years ago. I didn't want to have to teach him. I wanted to be able to give him the material, and I didn't want to be bothered. I mean I REALLY didn't want to be a teacher. I didn't want to plan, teach or grade the work. I resented the sacrifice of my time. It was horrible!

 

But after a few days, I realized we couldn't go on this way. I was either going to have to do something about my attitude or put my son in school. I knew that I didn't want to put him in school, because I know that homeschooling him is what the Lord called me to do. So, I repented and sought the Lord to change my heart. He did, and those deep feelings of resentment and not wanting to be involved are gone.

 

As far as getting things done around the house, the kids should be helping a lot. Also, I pay a teenage girl to come in for about 2 hours a week to do some cleaning. This is a huge help. She does things like vacuuming, mopping, and cleaning bath tubs. I like this better than hiring an adult, because she works for so much less. I had a woman come into clean and she charged about $25 an hour. I pay the teenager $7.50 an hour.

 

I hope this helps.

 

Deanna

[lvbeingmom]

Burnout! Thats when we take time off from school and go play. We go to parks, the zoo, downtown, shopping, what ever sounds fun for the day. I than feel better and get my act together again.

 

I like to think of my dh and how hard he works everyday to keep me at home and homeschooling. Its not fair to him to not have clean jeans to put on or a clean family room to sit in when he gets home from work. The kids and I would take 30 minutes and pick things up for him. As long as jean where in the dryer he did not care if they were folded or not. He just appreciated them being clean.

 

Tami

[lovemyboys]

I don't want to put my kids in p.s.. Really, I don't. But with laundry waiting in the dryer, dustballs as big as my fist floating by on the hardwood floor, another microwave meal on the menu for dinner, piles of Math waiting to be graded, etc etc, I find myself longingly watching that yellow school bus go by every morning and afternoon. In short, we've been homeschooling for almost 7 years, and this is my worst case of burnout EVER.

 

What do you do to re-inspire yourself and re-focus on homeschooling? Mine is not a case of overloaded schedules or rowdy kids; it is simply waking up each morning and thinking I don't want to do this anymore. I'd really like to recapture the enthusiasm and conviction that I used to have. Anyone btdt? I'd love to hear some wise counsel.

 

Since you asked about books: The Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling by Debra Bell is great for thoughts on raising independent learners, not that you're putting them in front of a computer monitor to do school all day, but ways to help your dc grow in their own abilities to manage their days so that we're not micromanaging. And burning out in the process.

 

The other thing is a cleaning service. I'm not the world's most organized person :tongue_smilie: so I'd rather pay for a good level of cleanliness with things I don't enjoy, so that I can tackle interesting things like the overloaded closet or a field trip!

 

If you can manage it in your budget, another thing I do sometimes is order something new (doesn't have to be big) that will be fun from the anticipation to the doorbell ringing to actually using it. This year, I signed up for one of those explorer series things that comes in the mail every month or two. For my age dc, that'll just shake it up a bit.

 

Good luck, maybe you're just in the 7-year-homeschooling itch.;)

[Paisley Hedgehog]

nm

[rhrice3]

Boy,

I know what you mean. Last year was difficult for me. It was our first year of high school and I had spent all summer being swim mom with no "me" time or reading time. Summer is usually when I read and refresh and look forward to school. There was none of that.

 

When the kids were little we would go away in the winter to the some place warm, too. Last year was the first year that my kids schedules with extra curriculum didn't really allow that plus there were job issues with my husbands hospital. I really had to search out for ways to pamper myself.

 

Mostly, I make sure that I have some "me" time whether it be long walks with friends or coffee or just reading a great book or dinner out with hubbie alone. I also prayed alot about it. I knew that I did not want to see my high schooler go off to school and have to give up music/orchestra or USA swimming. Staying home allows him to do both time wise. It always seemed that someone was around to say some "little" thing that made me think "yea, I am doing ok and these are good kids!"

 

So after much rambling, I would say pray, look for the little things, and seek out good friends. We have an incredible support group. Many of us use the same curriculum so we can whine and complain or praise God about the same things we are learning.

 

Good luck. Remember, this happens to everyone so seek out good friends.

 

ReneeR

[Chloe]

Shari,

 

I completely understand. I'm entering my 6th year of homeschooling and am starting to get burnt out. Much of my problem comes from having a 2 yo who's into everything and always interrupting and a 5.5 yo who has no interest in learning to read at all. He's very social and wants to be around big brother and sister, but talks and interrupts constantly. It's frustrating because there's so much I'd like to do with my dc for school, but I can't because of the younger two. By the time nap time rolls around I'm so exhausted I don't even want to read to them let alone do any fun crafts or lapbooking.

 

Our public elementary school is right behind our house. We can see the kids get dropped off and picked up and playing on the playground. I've often threatened to send my dc right out the back door to the ps when we are having a bad day. I DO NOT want to do it! I have to find a way to make things better for my sanity. Public school, and private school for that matter, is not an option.

 

I have been looking at Robinson Curriculum. Have you considered that? I don't think I could take things to the extreme they recommend, but I'm thinking about implementing some of their methods to have my dc doing most of their work independently and just doing the basics of reading, writing and math. They would still have piano, German and AWANA, but those are done on their own anyway. The biggest problem I have with this is that my ds struggles with math, so he can't really be independent with it. He really needs to get his math facts down, so perhaps after that he'd be ok. Also, writing is my most insecure area. I don't think just having them write for an hour every day is going to cut it. I'm not confident enough to be able to correct their work on my own and give suggestions, correct grammar, etc. I need a writing program, but one not too teacher intensive.

 

Sorry for the rambling. I don't no how old your dc are, but perhaps Robinson Curriculum could work for you, if even just for a year until you are refreshed and ready to teach them again. You wouldn't have to buy the curriculum, just have them read quality literature.

 

I hope you find the answer you are looking for. Mostly, don't forget to pray.

[Eleni]

I just wrote a blog entry on this last night. I have finally found that when Im the most burnt out it is because I have ceased to have a life outside of homeschooling, and that Im not meeting my needs.

[sagira]

I like A Charlotte Mason Companion, especially the section on Mother Culture.

Typing with on hand this morning.

[MicheleinMN]

Burnout....

 

Have them read, and then read some more. If they can read to themselves, then let them read and then narrate to you. This can cover history, literature, science, geography. If you are really burnt out....Writing Tales and Growing with Grammar are written to the student. As for math...20 minutes sitting with the child as he/she works, making corrections as he/she goes along.

 

Have a set time to be done for the day. The work will still be there tomorrow! Oh, and read some more.

 

HTH,

Michele

[Lizzie in Ma]

First, huge hugs and bless your heart. It is and will likely remain the hardest job ever. If you aren't ready to start, don't. Seriously. For the first time I felt that way too and actually took most of the summer off. (we usually school year round) It was great for all of us. Utterly unstructured except for chores I was very pleased with the pastimes my children chose and the books they picked up for fun.

I re-read my very favorite homeschool book every year before I start and it always gives me what I need to keep going. It is called "When You Rise Up", by RC Sproul Jr.

I just spent 9 days on an island camping with my kids and we had to come back for a funeral for a dear member of our church family but we have 4 more days out there. I think I will be finally ready to start again in another week or so.

[Jeana]

I have questioned myself on this one so many times I should write a book about it. I don't enjoy home schooling and I feel even more guilty when I read on this board how much so many LOVE it!!! When I get really low I tell myself this: When my children leave home and I look back I will never say, "Boy, I sure wish I hadn't spent that much time with my kids!". This is what keeps me going. I also, turn the news on for a few minutes and hear about what is going on in school and what kind of children my kids would be "socializing" with. Let's face it if all we do is teach our kids to read, write, and calculate and to be productive citizens of society we have done our jobs. This is your flesh and blood and only you truly agape them. This is what I do and it reminds me why I chose to home school in the first place. Hope this helps. Oh, a big bubble bath, big bar of chocolate, nice coffee and a husband to take the kids away for an hour is a big help too!!! Enjoy, Jeana

[Cindy in the NH Woods]

I'm not sure what it is about that seven year thing, but it appears to be REAL! I remember my seventh year of homeschooling when last minute I freaked and decided I needed a year with everything "from the box", and eagerly awaited UPS to deliver what I was sure to be my salvation. Umm... it wasn't!:glare:

 

 

I do know exactly how you feel, as do so many of the folks here. A few things that have helped me:

~Re-evaluating WHY we chose to homeschool to begin with

~Quiet time in the afternoons, regardless of age. If I needed two hours, I took it. (This doesn't always work with babies, of course.)

~Regular times of retreat, away from home.

~Being prepared.

~Enjoying a close relationship with my kids, and watching them develop as friends with one another.

~Avoiding over-commitment outside the home.

~Getting the less appealing subjects over with early in the day.

~Connecting with my on-line community here, even if just to lurk!

~Grace of God~ big time. And realizing that although cliche, our kids really are with us for just a season. And God-willing, for eternity which leads me back to my point number one. :)

 

May you be at peace!

 

Cindy (getting ready to graduate her first pre-K through high school guinea pig, I mean, student)

[Mandy in TN]

Is there something in hs like "the 7 year itch"? I was feeling yuck about school this spring and really sat down and looked at what I was doing.

 

outsource, outsource, outsource! Oh, and certainly look at Charlotte Mason. Then, run go do something for yourself.

 

For my oldest 17yo I decided to outsource almost everything! He is taking Chemistry and Spanish 1 through a tutorial. He is taking US History through dual enrollment. He is going to Kumon Math and a math tutor. He is doing English and Rhetoric mostly on his own.

 

For my 14yo, he is doing LA and Spanish at a tutorial. He is doing LoF and starts Kumon Math next week. He is using WP S&S, so it is more Charlotte Mason and I get to teach him in a way he truly enjoys. Who knew that to be school-happy this lanky boy would want to lay on the couch and have me read to him like he is still a little guy?

 

Little guy 5yo goes to enrichment on Monday while big boys go to tutorial. I am also doing WP with him. Although I loved the look of Ambleside, I decided that I needed more structure.

 

On Monday I am now "teaching" other people's high schoolers art and high school US History enrichment. I am assisting the lead art teacher for 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade art. I love it!:D I do have my 14yo in my high school "classes", but it is different in a group.

 

I love it so much that tomorrow I start working in the junior room at Kumon.

 

Teaching other people's kids may not be the answer for you, but definitely find something to do for yourself. After revamping how I was teaching and scheduling stuff for me, I have really enjoyed this first month of school.

 

Hope you shake of the burn-out.

Mandy

[Deb in NZ]

we actually downloaded the enrollment form for the local highschool for my 14yos the end of term 1. After much prayer & discussion (& ds calling friends in school to check out the realities of PS ;) ) we (ds & us) decided to not go the PS route. I don't know the ages of your dc, but for me the following has helped when the walls of HSing begin to close in on me.

 

***Take a mental health day. Read, garden, do crafts. Do something that YOU enjoy just for you.

 

***Do an hour of cleaning. Sometimes it's not the HSing that is the underlying problem, but instead it's the clutter & the condition of the kitchen floor.

 

***Have a change of scenery. Pack up the books & do school at the beach or park.

 

***Set a timelimit for lessons. After that time, YOU are finished for the day. You can decide whether to have your dc do what didn't get done as homework or just pick up where you left off tomorrow.

 

***Use audio books to give yourself a break. My ds#2 listens to his history & literature & narrates back to me when we're driving to soccer, etc. Libraries as great for audio books & there's some free ones on the net for download. This has freed me up to work with ds#1, get a bit of housework done, & made it possible for my ds to be more independent.

 

***Make assignment sheets to put more responsiblity on the student.

 

***Mid-year begin something new. We seems to have a change of how we do things mid-year, this helps a bit to keep us from becoming burnt out. Also, this means by the end of the year we don't necessarily finish everything, but as we begin after the summer we need only to pick up where we left off. We have this option as we don't need to report to the gov't.

 

JMHO,

[Missouri Mama]

Hi Shari,

 

Please excuse anything that's irrelevant here. I don't know how many children you have or what their ages are. Like most of us, you have more to do in a day than you have time. I find that as long as I'm focused on my priorities & living out of my overall vision for life , I feel much better. My attitude is more positive & I can make needed adjustments with a clearer head. I also thrive on balance in my life. When I'm not spending adequate alone time with my husband or having time to myself, I feel frazzled &/or grumpy. Another problem is returning to/reminding myself of why I'm homeschooling in the 1st place. Christianity is a big umbrella that covers all of these areas for me, so feeding myself spiritually is a must. Some of the practical things that I've done include teaching my kids to clean the house. My house is mostly kid-cleaned & has been for most of our homeschooling yrs. I've also taught certain topics in groups or pairs to cut down on lots of individualized subjects. For example, I use TOG which allows you to prepare for one history topic, while your kids all read about that topic on their level. When my kids were younger, we would take a wk or 2 break & do a unit study together when we were feeling a bit weary. We did a lot of rdg. The kids did artsy stuff or projects, but I didn't include anything that smacked of formal academics or anything I had to look over. We did oral narrations, Q & A on the spot, etc. It was like a mini-vacation, & we all felt refreshed & ready for our usual program afterward. Here are a few books I would recommend: Margin , The Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling by Debra Bell, Beyond Survival: A Guide to Abundant Life Homeschooling by Diana Waring, Managers of Their Homes by Steven & Teri Maxwell, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey& Homeschooling at the Speed of Life by Marilyn Rockett.

[8filltheheart]

As counter-intuitive as it may seem.......lesson plans and a routine/schedule. I am not a live by the clock type of person, but I function better with a general guideline. Planned out weeks are a must.

 

Then it is simply a matter of functioning, whether I feel like it or not. Sometimes simply going through the motions eventually gets me out of my funk. Well, that and sunshine.

[magistramom]

Huggers!

 

I don't have an answer for you or your family - but hope it comes soon. I guess the advice is to go with your instinct and quit:) If your children are committed to homeschooling and staying home, as mine were, you could try "vacationing". Here is what we did:

 

I had M.A.J.O.R. burnout last spring (completed our 6th year). I waver every October and May, but last year, I actually "quit" the year in March and just read. We read, and read, and read together. I quit "teaching" and read all the books on my "list" of read-alouds to do with the kids.

 

During this time we made a list of things to do together. I struggled with a few of their ideas, but did them anyway (go to the music store and try out different instruments; go to the science center to visit the paper airplane making room...again, and again; hike...ugh...and so on). We "did" that list, and found that even if we weren't interested in an activity chosen by another family member, each found a way to make it fun in the end.

 

I had the kids make lists of questions they wanted answered. Most of those questions were pretty darn hard to just answer off the cuff! What an insight too, into their minds!

 

I cut out TV, computer and random background music listening during our regular afterschool down times. We checked out N'Geo videos from the library, and books on tape for the car. We took advantage of being outside as much as possible. In doing so, the kids filled the time with so many interesting things - I was amazed.

 

I must admit that I did spend two full summer months OFF. No more read alouds, I found a hobby for myself, and let the kids run crazy wild going to summer camps and workshops. We each followed our own interests - and now have come back full circle, committed to working together again.

 

Then again, I'll let you know how I'm feeling in October...

Hope things settle soon!

[ChemMommy]

I'd really like to recapture the enthusiasm and conviction that I used to have. Anyone btdt? I'd love to hear some wise counsel.

 

I had a BIG case of it! It wasn't pretty at all. I just had NO enthusiasm for teaching my own.

 

Most days, I just woke up and "stayed the course". We had prayfully decided that HSing was the best for us, so I didn't allow myself to rethink the decision on a daily basis. It's kind of like church attendance. We made the decision that church will be attended every single Sunday. Period. So, when the alarm goes off on Sunday, we aren't debating whether or not to go. I used that kind of thinking about schooling at home. I just did it because it had to be done. Did I do it creatively? NO!! Did I do it? Yes. I bet ps teachers get tired of teaching, too! I bet they aren't creative every day either!

 

I did put more responsibility on my kids to contribute to chores and to plan their own work. That was a good move overall. Nine year-olds can chase dust bunnies as well as you can! Young legs are good for running laundry up and down stairs. Fussy, whiny kids are good at wall-washing, right? My son's future wife will thank me that he knows how to make a simple lunch and scrub the toilet, won't she????

 

What really helped......hmmm, I reread TWTM and other encouraging hsing books, I made a major curriculum change to spice up our daily life, I made it really clear to dh that I was at serious burnout and pushed a bit of the hsing stuff onto his plate. He is the big history read-aloud person at our house now!

 

I started doing nice things for me: tea in my special china cup, scented candles during school, reading Star Trek books for myself with no guilt, scheduling a mom-free-time every single afternoon for much-needed downtime.

 

I'm on an up-swing right now, YEAH!!! But, I've got a lot of years left so I'll hit the bottom again. Maybe you'll be on the upside then and send me encouraging thoughts.

[Jeana]

Pam, your message was so encouraging! Thanks for that, Jeana O'Donnell

[pianoplayer]

I don't want to put my kids in p.s.. Really, I don't. But with laundry waiting in the dryer, dustballs as big as my fist floating by on the hardwood floor, another microwave meal on the menu for dinner, piles of Math waiting to be graded, etc etc, I find myself longingly watching that yellow school bus go by every morning and afternoon. In short, we've been homeschooling for almost 7 years, and this is my worst case of burnout EVER.

 

What do you do to re-inspire yourself and re-focus on homeschooling? Mine is not a case of overloaded schedules or rowdy kids; it is simply waking up each morning and thinking I don't want to do this anymore. I'd really like to recapture the enthusiasm and conviction that I used to have. Anyone btdt? I'd love to hear some wise counsel.

A key for me has been realizing when I need a break and learning to take that break before I crack or have a meltdown. Sometimes even a day off helps tremendously; sometimes I need a longer break. Like several others, I will pick up a great book and we will have long reading sessions together, even when we are not doing other schoolwork. My kids love it, and it has prompted a lot of great discussions on what we read.

 

Another key for me has been realizing that real life is not about what I want to do, necessarily. (Really, who WANTS to change dirty diapers or scrub toilets?:D) Even as I try to teach my children good character, my words come back to me with full force! Yeah, so what that I don't want to get up and teach my kids this morning! Dh and I decided that we would homeschool before our kids were even born, and our reasons for wanting to do so have not changed. It's not a matter of what I want to do at the moment so much as it is a commitment to do that which we have decided is best for our family.

 

That being said, my house doesn't stay as clean as it used to before kids, either. I don't like it, but I have decided that teaching my kids and being closely involved in their lives is more important to me right now and is of far greater lasting value than whether I have a "show house." The important things get done, and when the clutter (and for me, it's usually the clutter) overwhelms me and I began to wail about just giving up and giving the house over to my family of packrats, they usually get the message and start cleaning up their stacks.:D

 

Hang in there, Shari! :grouphug: You're definitely not alone in your feelings! Best wishes on your homeschool journey.

[Osaubi]

I started quiet time in our house. Not only did it help me but the kids as well. My youngest dd2 listens to music, and my ds6 listens to books on cd in seperate rooms. They can play quietly (only toys that make no sound) or take a nap. I try for 2hrs, but it doesn't always work out like that.

 

I take that time to do what ever I want to do. Sometimes I catch up on school, housework, or make dinner. There are those times though I sit on the couch with ice cream, and watch a movie.

 

Everyone is in a better mood after quiet time. This has become a new and welcome (at least to me) family tradition.

 

HTH

[Lisawa]

I don't want to put my kids in p.s.. Really, I don't. But with laundry waiting in the dryer, dustballs as big as my fist floating by on the hardwood floor, another microwave meal on the menu for dinner, piles of Math waiting to be graded, etc etc, I find myself longingly watching that yellow school bus go by every morning and afternoon. In short, we've been homeschooling for almost 7 years, and this is my worst case of burnout EVER.

 

What do you do to re-inspire yourself and re-focus on homeschooling? Mine is not a case of overloaded schedules or rowdy kids; it is simply waking up each morning and thinking I don't want to do this anymore. I'd really like to recapture the enthusiasm and conviction that I used to have. Anyone btdt? I'd love to hear some wise counsel.

 

 

:grouphug: I hear ya... we are moving into year 14 for homeschooling and we have always gone through seasons.... good ones and bad ones....

 

a few on line articles when you have time:

 

CCH Homeschool burnout

 

Dealing with burnout

 

Teach at home

 

 

A book I read years ago by Raymond Moore: Home School Burnout: What It Is. What Causes It. and How to Overcome It.

 

This was an excellent book! I loved many of Dr Moore's books and have always tried my best to balance things I have learned from reading his books, CM philosophies with a little classical bent in my mix. *Ü*

 

Things will get better... but I know when I feel this way... I have to step back... it is a beauty of homeschooling... I can step back.... I can choose to take a little time off to get things in order.... to relax and enjoy my peeps.... those books and math papers are not going anywhere fast! You will get back to it.... do tell yourself you are going to double up later... just let it go for a week or 2. Keep the kids reading independantly... encourage exploring interests and free play (constructive play) and get some things done so you the mom feels good.

 

Hope this helps... I know you will get a lot more encouragement here... these gals are pretty terrific.... aren't they??

 

:grouphug:

 

If you wait to long to take a time out, it wont do you or your kids any good.... so this is a positive thing. *Ü* If mommy isn't happy... no one is happy... right??

[Lisawa]

Good grief... what I was trying to say is don't tell yourself to double up later... dont... not do... sorry about that! My fingers were faster than my brain! Again...:D

[Trivium Academy]

This is what I would do. Take a breather, focus on what is bothering you - get your house under control and cook something. Then I would do two things: identify what can be done to make the daily routine a little better, and reread the books that ignited the flame in the first place.

 

Refresh, regroup, prioritize and move forward. In my limited experience, that's what I do. :grouphug:

[Peela]

I suffered burnout a lot last year, and for me it was a sign that I was pushing too hard and trying to make something happen that wasn't natural for me or the family. Going against the flow, so to speak. I did actually virtually unschool for a couple of months while I did further research to find what spoke to my heart. I found myself attracted to the Charlotte Mason approach and we have gradually changed over.

I think burnout is a sign that something you were doing was unsustainable, and you need to genuinely look and see what that is. I imagine for some people it has to do with attitude, or with things unrelated to homeschooling. For me, it was too much pushing my kids and not enough encouraging and leading, and we have had a much happier year since I changed my attitude. But it's not going to be the same thing for all of us.

ETA: I also implemented daily rest time for myself. That has made a big difference to me. It has meant I need to finish my part of working with the kids by soon after lunch, but I have arranged that. Actually, I would say this has been a crucial part of my lack of burnout this year (2008). In fact, I enjoy homeschooling so much this year I wake up in the morning looking forward to it, and even though I enjoy holidays, I also really enjoy starting school again. So the burnout I experienced last year was an opportunity I took to change things so that our homeschooling style, and my direct involvement wit the kids, became sustainable.