Homeschooling with Chronic Disease--Quit or Keep Going?

[Veritaserum]

I'm really discouraged today. I got bad news at my doctor's appointment this morning. My health has been steadily worsening since January and we still don't have a clear answer as to why. I got more blood drawn today and scheduled another appointment for next month. I have been having a lot of rough (low energy/sick) days lately.

 

We have been using a more flexible approach since we started up again in August. My homeschooled children are 12, 9 (almost 10), 8, and 6. They are not super self-motivated (total unschooling was a poor fit). They are not currently spending their time on education pursuits when I'm having a can't-leave-my-bed day. I feel like I'm failing them. On my good days we do some wonderful things, but those days are fewer in number and spaced out.

 

When I think of sending them to public school, I feel frustrated and sad that my health is preventing me from doing something I want to do. But I feel so bad about not providing the education that I want to give them that I consider it. My oldest attends public school (9th grade) and that's working out for her pretty well. It's not too hard for me. I have to make sure she's up, but then she catches the bus to and from school. She manages her own homework and such. My 7th grader would go to the same school if I put her in PS. She would probably do ok once she got past the anxiety of switching to a new and unfamiliar situation.

 

The younger children would be at an elementary school a little too far away for comfortable walking distance. While we live in a fairly safe area, an 11yo girl was raped on her way to this school in April (neighborhood on the opposite side of the school from us). So I wouldn't feel good about them walking anyway. I just don't know if I could do the morning rush every day and then have to do the homework push every evening. My 8yo has SPD that has been bad lately and my 6yo has motor issues (currently in OT), so I would need to be involved in arranging things with teachers.

 

Thinking of all of that, I feel overwhelmed again and think maybe limping along at home is the better option.

 

To;dr My chronic health issues are getting worse and I'm not sure which option (home or school) is overall best for my family. There's no easy answer and that's really, really frustrating. My husband thinks putting them in school is the better option, but I'm not convinced.

[Farrar]

:grouphug:

 

I don't have any btdt and I know many others have, so hopefully you'll get lots of sage advice. On first thought, I would probably send the 7th grader and keep the others at home. The 7th grader would be in the same school as your eldest and you think she'd adjust okay. Plus, that's older and maybe more in need of a challenge. For the other ones, it sounds like with the logistics and issues it's less clear cut win, plus you might could devote a little extra time to your younger ones with one less kid at home.

 

But I don't think there's a right answer. I hope you're able to live with whatever you decide. And that you feel better and get health answers too. That must be the hardest part in planning. How do you plan when you really don't know? That's so hard to live with both pain and no answers about it.

[sbgrace]

Many hugs. I dealt with undiagnosed decline like that too, and it's scary and discouraging. It took a long time, and some luck, to figure out my issues.

 

I think I would send the older. She needs regular schooling, and it sounds like she would do ok in the school system.

Then you have just the two. Maybe those of us here could help you figure out solid curriculum for them that doesn't need as much from you?

Do you have any homeschooling friends who could help on your really bad days/weeks sometimes?

[OneStepAtATime]

Is there anyone in your neighborhood that the youngers could catch a ride to school with?  Or is there a homeschooling teenager that could come over and "school" with the youngers twice a week or something?  And you could put the 7th grader in school?  Just temporarily until you feel better.  Maybe having the time to truly rest might help a bit.

[sagira]

Oh, Veritas. I feel like I've "known" you for a while on these forums. Sending you hugs and well wishes your way.

 

At first I found myself agreeing with the previous posters, but after some thought I'm not sure about sending your 7th grader to ps. I've heard and read about sending homeschoolers to middle school for the first time as being akin to being thrown to the sharks. Middle school is really tough for lots of kids.

 

My suggestion would be first and foremost to take care of yourself and develop a list and schedule of things to do when you are feeling well. Have your oldest do either virtual online school or something else very independent.

 

Maybe if you have a HS co-Op nearby you can ask friends to rotate taking your younger kids to these activities (or all kids).

 

Have audio books at the ready and have oldest in charge of putting them on in your absence. Give your oldest a list of things to make sure your younger kids accomplish. In short, develop a system. You can always check it when you are feeling better.

 

In no way do I mean to imply or suggest that this is going to be easy, but having mom being ill and being sent away to school is scary and confusing. I know my kids would rather be close to me.

 

Hugs, and be well.

[Veritaserum]

Dh and I talked more last night. I think we've settled on finding more independent solutions so the kids can keep going without me (but I will do richer stuff on my good days). Then if I'm not any better (or if I'm worse) and the independent solution isn't satisfactory, we will switch them for the last semester of school. That would allow them to exit their homeschool art and musical theater classes at a good time, too.

 

I really don't want to quit. I'm angry and frustrated and sad that my health might force me to. :(

 

For now I need to find (secular or easily securlarized) programs written to the student (particularly for the 7th-grader). Ideally we would use an all-in-one (everything except math) that directs the student in exactly what to do each day. My kids use CLE and Math Mammoth for math, so those are working well since they are written to the student. They just ask me when they don't understand something.

[LLMom]

Laura,

 

That sounds like a good plan, and you know you can always change it, even tomorrow.   :001_smile: I'm sorry you are in such pain, and I do know how it feels to be mad that it might prevent you from homeschooling.  I felt that way about my depression and anxiety, but I am slowly coming to terms with it. 

[maize]

Are there any funds available to hire a tutor? A university student, maybe even an older homeschooled teen, might be able to pick up some of the slack. Enthusiasm and energy could go a long way, even without much teaching experience. If you had someone come in for an hour or two three times a week they could provide your kids with outside accountability, help with anything challenging, discussion time, and a neat experiment or project on occasion.

 

I'm sorry you're in such a tough spot. I don't think sending the kids to school would be a bad thing, but since you are not sure it will actually make things easier for your family and it sounds like you really do want to keep homeschooling, I would try to find a way to make it work.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

I hope you feel better soon. :grouphug:

 

One thing that might work is Time4Learning which uses Compass Learning which is pretty good and pretty inexpensive. Normally I would consider it a supplement and also believe in the critical importance of pencil and paper for students, but this may do the trick to fill in the gaps when you are not feeling well. It is also independent and engaging and fairly comprehensive. My kid used it as a supplement.

 

Other possibilities especially for the 7th grade student is Kolbe Academy online classes and Calvert Online classes. Now Kolbe is Catholic but I have considered its use for my kid in the past and would definitely consider it even though I prefer secular materials if we ever pulled my kid out of school since it is a very good program. Calvert is also a good program as well but is more expensive. We did use it and found it solid.

 

Lastly, CLE reading and language arts are not bad as well despite that they are not secular. I see the religious stuff as good stuff for conversation. Exercises in English is a very good independent secular grammar program. Are there any particular subjects you are most worried about since I can probably think of others since I am a total curricula junkie?

[maize]

Re: tutoring, if you are working with a charter school some funding may be used to pay a tutor.

[Veritaserum]

I think what I mainly need is a schedule that tells each kid what to do that week/day. We used a charter school the last three years and I didn't use it this year because of all the extra hoops to jump through. We have funds for various solutions. A tutor is probably not the best option because then I'd be stressed about making sure the house is clean and the tutor would still need a schedule for the kids to be following....

[Veritaserum]

I do love how easy it is to use CLE math. We tried CLE reading and LA for third grade one year and I wasn't happy with the reading (disparaging other religions), but the language arts was pretty solid.

[PollyOR]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:   I'm sorry you don't feel well.  I can suddenly be hit with slight vertigo. It is just enough that I can't get anything done for at least 24 hours.  Such a little thing makes a big difference in my life.  I hope you have answers soon, so you'll know how to move forward.

 

I haven't used it but Easy Peasy might be an option to consider for your younger children.

[Ottakee]

I was going to suggest CLE or ACE (School of Tomorrow) as they are both more self taught, etc. but they are not secular.  I loved CLE math.  My kids loved the ACE science and social studies.  They were a bit "light" for the grade levels but you could move them up a bit on the level or use library books, videos, discussions, etc. to beef it up a bit.

 

I put my girls into public school in 7th grade and it was actually a good time for THEM to enter.  I know that other kids really struggle when starting school at those ages.  I think it would depend on your 7th grader, the school, etc.

[idnib]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

I also homeschool with chronic illness. There was a time when I couldn't do it, but luckily my kids were young. After trying different things I'm in a better place, but it took awhile to get there.

 

For the 12 yo, WWS is written to the student and tells them what to do, although they are instructed to check in with you if they're stuck. However it also comes with a teacher's manual to tell you what to say and what questions to ask. Here's an overview from SWB:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNs2ImH27E0

[Harriet Vane]

:grouphug:

[Scarlett]

Did I understand that you used k12 before through a state charter?

 

I am sorry for you. I agree that putting the youngers in school would bring on more problems and stress than it would solve.

 

School in a box of some sort.....k12 is great but through a charter usually has a lot of hoops depending on your state.

[Veritaserum]

Did I understand that you used k12 before through a state charter?

 

I am sorry for you. I agree that putting the youngers in school would bring on more problems and stress than it would solve.

 

School in a box of some sort.....k12 is great but through a charter usually has a lot of hoops depending on your state.

 

It wasn't K12. It was a charter that let us use money to buy our own materials, but we had to do a lot of reporting as well as the various state tests throughout the year.  There was also a day of on site classes included as part of it, which is why we did it. This year I just wasn't interested in the added stress, so I'm paying for daytime homeschool classes offered by a local community arts program.

[Veritaserum]

Thanks for the support and sympathy. I ordered materials and I'm in the process of typing up some schedules. I'm feeling better emotionally today (spent most of yesterday crying).

[Scarlett]

Thanks for the support and sympathy. I ordered materials and I'm in the process of typing up some schedules. I'm feeling better emotionally today (spent most of yesterday crying).

 

(((((Hugs))))

 

Sounds like you have a good plan.

[Ausmumof3]

No advice just wanted to say I'm sorry things are tough right now.

[Tiramisu]

Remember to focus on the skill areas of math and writing (includes any necessary spelling and grammar). It's okay to have them read for the rest, and do some little things to cover any documentation that's required. 

 

I have heard that a good option for an all in one LA program is LLATL, and I wonder if there is something out there that's similar but secular.

 

ETA: Hake would cover everything LA for the seventh grader. Another option would be the Home2Teach writing classes. From what I remember, they included spelling and grammar. They have sessions starting throughout the year so you could find a convenient time to start. And classes only run six weeks. Not a lot of expense or commitment to try it out.