Kid who hates reading - Problem or just a preference?

[lailasmum]

My eldest (10 year old) really dislikes reading. She basically won't read for pleasure other than comic books. She can read well and doesn't seem to have issues with comprehension, likes stories and audio books so I can't quite fathom why she doesn't love reading. I'm unsure as to whether it's actually a problem or just a personal preference I should respect. My husband doesn't read for pleasure beyond comic books and maybe one or two YA sci fi type books a year so he's similar. Not sure if I just find it strange because I've always read a lot particularly at her age. Is the lack of practice likely to be an issue later on? 

[lailasmum]

Thanks, I've been offering stuff I think she'd like (classics and things like Warrior Cats) and totally missing the mark. Maybe I'll try books that relate to the tv and computer games she likes and get some more comic books. She does a lot of reading of instructional things too and also will read things like the Minecraft books.

[Momling]

I've got a ten yr old daughter with the same affliction. She's never liked it... Even as a toddler and preschooler, she wouldn't even want to listen to a story. She learned to read just fine, but will only do it when assigned. She's a sporty girl though, much more interested in being active than sitting. The only time she enthusiastically read was doing a "battle of the books" competition. I think it fell under the "sport" category in her mind and she read all 16 books in a month.

[asmall]

Both my kids love to read, so take this with a grain of salt, but at our house we let bedtime go. My kids have a basic bedtime, but once they are ready for bed, they can keep their lights on as long as they want as long as they are reading. So most nights they are in bed between 8-9 pm, but they stay up an hour or longer reading. My oldest will usually finish whatever book she is reading. My other daughter likes to read until she get sleepy, then shuts out her light.

We started doing this before they could read. They thought it was great just to look at books (pictures) and not go to bed. Once they started reading (both my kids were late readers 11 & 10) they just took off.

AL

[Ellie]

My eldest (10 year old) really dislikes reading. She basically won't read for pleasure other than comic books. She can read well and doesn't seem to have issues with comprehension, likes stories and audio books so I can't quite fathom why she doesn't love reading. I'm unsure as to whether it's actually a problem or just a personal preference I should respect. My husband doesn't read for pleasure beyond comic books and maybe one or two YA sci fi type books a year so he's similar. Not sure if I just find it strange because I've always read a lot particularly at her age. Is the lack of practice likely to be an issue later on? 

 

Not everyone likes to read for pleasure. I don't understand it, but it is so.

 

Do you read aloud to her? That would be one way of making sure she at least *hears* good books.

[Momling]

Both my kids love to read, so take this with a grain of salt, but at our house we let bedtime go. My kids have a basic bedtime, but once they are ready for bed, they can keep their lights on as long as they want as long as they are reading. So most nights they are in bed between 8-9 pm, but they stay up an hour or longer reading. My oldest will usually finish whatever book she is reading. My other daughter likes to read until she get sleepy, then shuts out her light.

We started doing this before they could read. They thought it was great just to look at books (pictures) and not go to bed. Once they started reading (both my kids were late readers 11 & 10) they just took off.

AL

I do this with my kids too since I have one child who'll read all night if given the opportunity and the other who just isn't into it. What happens? My non-book-lover prefers to sleep than to stay up later to read. I just don't understand...

[PeterPan]

Well my dd was an avid comic reader for years and years, so in isolation that's not a bad thing.  Yes, we did the no lights out if you're reading.  She also turned out to have a problem with convergence, so literally the spacing and font of the comics was more physically comfortable to read than a printed book.  

 

I think the lure of technology is really strong.  If that's part of what's going on, you might try picking a target amount (maybe 1 1/2 hours a day at that age) and having her do required reading.  The screen time may be just cutting it out.  

 

One year I made a diversified reading log with my dd and required her to read across genres and log what she had read.  You could also weave interesting reading into her school day.  For instance, a couple years ago we ready through this book, a chapter a week, reading and watching the operas on youtube.  At the Opera  She might enjoy  Stories of Gilbert and Sullivan Operas   G&S will be lighter and all comedies.  Again, read and then watch on youtube.  I do a lot of that, finding books I want her to read and chunking them up.  It's nice to say our kids ought to have the mental discipline to walk away from their screen time, blogs, and everything else they do and sit down and read xyz, but they might not get around to it.  So on stuff she's not likely to get through on her own (for lack of discipline and willpower) I just throw it on the schedule in chunks.  

 

Have you tried Hunger Games and dystopian literature?  Sometimes the issue is the genre.  We also installed a magazine rack to hold books in the bathroom.  :D

[Pawz4me]

Both of my boys were very early and fluent readers with very good comprehension.  But neither of them enjoys reading for pleasure.  I wish they did, but truthfully -- I don't think it's a real problem.  It certainly hasn't seemed to hinder them any.  DH isn't a pleasure reader, either, and it hasn't hindered him.

[LLMom]

I think if they can read and comprehend then they don't have to enjoy it.  Of my 7, only 2 love to read.  The rest got their father's distaste for reading.   :huh: I have a hard time understanding that because reading is like breathing to me.  It used to really bother me until I realized everyone is not the same. 

[Crimson Wife]

My middle brother never liked to read as a kid except for comic books. He could read just fine but for whatever reason didn't want to. It wasn't until his mid-20's that he decided he actually enjoyed reading.

[lailasmum]

Not everyone likes to read for pleasure. I don't understand it, but it is so.

 

Do you read aloud to her? That would be one way of making sure she at least *hears* good books.

Yep, always have and she loves being read to and audio books which is why I've found it odd that there's not love for books themselves.

[lailasmum]

Well my dd was an avid comic reader for years and years, so in isolation that's not a bad thing.  Yes, we did the no lights out if you're reading.  She also turned out to have a problem with convergence, so literally the spacing and font of the comics was more physically comfortable to read than a printed book.  

 

I think the lure of technology is really strong.  If that's part of what's going on, you might try picking a target amount (maybe 1 1/2 hours a day at that age) and having her do required reading.  The screen time may be just cutting it out.  

 

One year I made a diversified reading log with my dd and required her to read across genres and log what she had read.  You could also weave interesting reading into her school day.  For instance, a couple years ago we ready through this book, a chapter a week, reading and watching the operas on youtube.  At the Opera  She might enjoy  Stories of Gilbert and Sullivan Operas   G&S will be lighter and all comedies.  Again, read and then watch on youtube.  I do a lot of that, finding books I want her to read and chunking them up.  It's nice to say our kids ought to have the mental discipline to walk away from their screen time, blogs, and everything else they do and sit down and read xyz, but they might not get around to it.  So on stuff she's not likely to get through on her own (for lack of discipline and willpower) I just throw it on the schedule in chunks.  

 

Have you tried Hunger Games and dystopian literature?  Sometimes the issue is the genre.  We also installed a magazine rack to hold books in the bathroom.   :D

 

I don't think screen time is the problem as they're limited except for on Friday afternoons when they do group games with friends and she has zero interest in computer time, other than some minecraft videos sometimes. The diversified reading log is interesting. I did wonder if she was just less into reading fiction so your idea of trying some different options is good. We already do a fair bit of reading as part of our educational activities and always have. I guess I'll keep expanding the range of books she's got and see if something sticks.  The thing I tend to find strange is that the many of her audiobooks are part of series where maybe just the first book or two is available recorded, I've bought her many more from the series as she loved them so much but she just doesn't have the impulse to pick up the book and keep reading.

[PeterPan]

Oh sorry, you mentioned mine craft, so I didn't realize you had so many screen time restrictions.  :)

 

I think my diversified reading list had categories like poetry, science, biography, etc. etc. and she had to log say two things in each section each week.  

 

You could also talk with her or try to figure out what aspects of the comics work so well for her.  My dd read the comic Shakespeare books VP sells.  You might look for them.  Then you're bridging from her thing into your thing.  For my dd the thing with the comics was the HUMOR.  I started connecting her with good FUNNY literature.  The Sam Campbell books are awesome.  Did I mention the Gilbert & Sullivan book by Bulla?  G&S are all comedies and outrageously funny.  A lot of the opera in the Fiery book will have humor to it or at least irony.  (Ooo, spiffing up the intellectual level on what she starts off with! She starts saying she enjoys humor and you get her into stuff with dramatic irony.)  We did a bunch of Shakespeare one year, but it was all comedies, no tragedies.  Muse magazine is on nonfiction topics but it's extremely well-written and tends to have some humor to it.  My dd enjoyed it quite a bit.

 

As long as the content of the comics don't offend you, I don't thnk it's an issue IF she's also reading other stuff and IF you know there's no physical reason (undiagnosed eye problems, whatever).

 

Just something I had forgotten, and I'm just tossing it out as what happened with us.  At that age the school work can get pretty intense, and I think my dd went through potato chip reading like that to relax.  She didn't have ENERGY after her other work to add onto that anything serious, so she read comics.  It's still something we have to be really careful about.

[lailasmum]

Oh sorry, you mentioned mine craft, so I didn't realize you had so many screen time restrictions.   :)

 

I think my diversified reading list had categories like poetry, science, biography, etc. etc. and she had to log say two things in each section each week.  

 

You could also talk with her or try to figure out what aspects of the comics work so well for her.  My dd read the comic Shakespeare books VP sells.  You might look for them.  Then you're bridging from her thing into your thing.  For my dd the thing with the comics was the HUMOR.  I started connecting her with good FUNNY literature.  The Sam Campbell books are awesome.  Did I mention the Gilbert & Sullivan book by Bulla?  G&S are all comedies and outrageously funny.  A lot of the opera in the Fiery book will have humor to it or at least irony.  (Ooo, spiffing up the intellectual level on what she starts off with! She starts saying she enjoys humor and you get her into stuff with dramatic irony.)  We did a bunch of Shakespeare one year, but it was all comedies, no tragedies.  Muse magazine is on nonfiction topics but it's extremely well-written and tends to have some humor to it.  My dd enjoyed it quite a bit.

 

As long as the content of the comics don't offend you, I don't thnk it's an issue IF she's also reading other stuff and IF you know there's no physical reason (undiagnosed eye problems, whatever).

 

Just something I had forgotten, and I'm just tossing it out as what happened with us.  At that age the school work can get pretty intense, and I think my dd went through potato chip reading like that to relax.  She didn't have ENERGY after her other work to add onto that anything serious, so she read comics.  It's still something we have to be really careful about.

 

Great suggestions, thanks, she does have a great sense of humour. I'm not easily offended content wise. I've ordered a load of graphic novels for her and several have turned out to be ones that alternate a chapter written comic book style and a chapter written normally, so that might help. Her obsession in life is birds particularly raptors but she's rather between the introductory type kids bird books but the more in depth ones are a bit much for her at the moment.

[Critterfixer]

Don't assume that the in depth ones are a bit too much. My non-reader is completely absorbed in figuring out the name of every little wire and fixture on the circuit boards he's been ripping out of various dead machines. I am often blown away by how much he picks up from books that I would have considered "too much" for his reading ability.

I got them for him to "look at". Turns out he's reading them.

[kbutton]

You've gotten lots of great advice. I will weigh in with the vote that since she's getting great stories, and she does read for her own information, pleasure reading is optional. I had a friend that read only true crime books for pleasure, but she'd suck it up and read whatever she had to for school in order to do well. She was a great student. One of her incentives--she'd stick a picture of a cute boy she liked at the end of the day's reading assignment. 

 

My grandmother started reading for pleasure in maybe her early to mid 60's. I think she was partly too busy when she was young and partly not able to sit still much. She hurt her back when I was in high school, and while she was recuperating, she became a voracious (but slow) reader.

 

I would try to rule out problems with actual story reading, such as problems keeping track of the plot, ocular motor issues, etc. She might not realize what's going on if those things are a problem. My guess is that she is more of an auditory learner if she likes to be read to or listen to audio books. That's okay--you can get nearly anything on a recording now. 

[lailasmum]

A month on and things have turned a corner. I got her a load of graphic novels and light fun books and she's now really enjoying reading. In fact in the mornings I'm often wondering why she's asleep late only to investigate and she's lying on her bedroom floor reading. I think she likes fun light books rather than some of the other classics I've expected her to dive into so I'll just keep reading those to her or using audio books.

[Kathie in VA]

Good question: is hating reading a problem to be delt with or a preference that should be respected?

 

My dd is 9 and says she hates to read. I see this as a problem...just like I do when she says she hates a type of food. Basically I believe food tastes change as they get older (not to mention how the food is cooked and what it is served with). So she needs to always taste. Although typically, once you are an adult your taste buds stay pretty constant.

I think it is similar with reading. There are many reasons why reading is disliked (decipher skills may need improving, comprehension may be poor, genre might not be interesting enough to take the time n effort, plus the things they want to do takes up their time). But a steadynot diet of reading should remove at least most of these hurdles. Once my dd is an adt she can determine if she really enjoys reading because by then hopefully she will have fully tried it.

Ymmv

[kitten18]

A month on and things have turned a corner. I got her a load of graphic novels and light fun books and she's now really enjoying reading. In fact in the mornings I'm often wondering why she's asleep late only to investigate and she's lying on her bedroom floor reading. I think she likes fun light books rather than some of the other classics I've expected her to dive into so I'll just keep reading those to her or using audio books.

That's great.

 

My 10yo dd is the same. I've gotten get her to read some classics and more difficult books but she really doesn't enjoy it and I have to remind her the whole time to keep going and to finish.

If I get her shorter/faster/easier books, she devours them and reads for several hours a day.

 

She also loves audio books and listens to many great books.

[SemiSweet]

My 9yo dd is the same, she is an excellent reader, has no issues with comprehension but just does not enjoy it. At this point I read good books to her and require 30 minutes a day or her choice reading. She picked up a magic treehouse book a couple days ago and read it in less than a day, I still have hope. My brother is a smart, educated guy who does not enjoy reading for pleasure. He'll read some non-fiction about certain topics of interest on occasion, but it's not something he generally enjoys. I don't get it, but his life still seems rich and fulfilled. I try to keep him in mind when my concern for dd gets to be more intense.