What age do you leave kids home alone?

[jenn-]

My boys turned 10 last month.  They are responsible kids.  They want to stay home when I have to run errands with DD (doctor appointments, etc).  I didn't start leaving DD home until she was 11ish and even then it was because I had a dog with cancer I had to go get from the vet and she was vomiting.  I didn't start letting her watch the boys until she was 12.  My DH thinks we should let the two stay together.  I know that I watched my little sister all summer long at 11 but the over protective momminess is coming out in this decision.  So, WWYD or what have you done?

[Luckymama]

We did when the older kids were 12 and 10 and their sister was 5. The 12yo was trained in first aid (Boy Scouts) and had a level head during past emergencies. The 10yo had much more common sense than her brother. Together, they made a good combination :)

[skimomma]

I think I am a bit more lax than most parents, so keep that in mind.

 

We started leaving dd home alone for short periods (less than 2 hours) during daylight at just-turned-10.  With a friend (another 10 yo) even a little longer and into the evening.  We live in a "safe" neighborhood with people nearby she can go to if she needs to.  We are never more than a ten minute drive away and she has a phone.  She is also pretty responsible for her age.  I our area, 9-10 seems to be the usual age for starting to be left alone.

[momto10blessings]

Between 10-12, depending on the kid ;)

[KrissiK]

I really think this is a case by case thing. If you are comfortable with it then that sounds reasonable to me.

 

I started letting my older son around 11 for very brief periods of time. For example, I'd have to drive one to art class and DH would get home 20 minutes later. So DS was only alone for about 20 minutes. At 12 I will let him stay home still for brief periods. Not more than 2 hours. I've also started letting him "watch" the almost 9 year old if I need to run to the post office or store for something.

 

That's my comfort level at this point. It actually doesn't come up a lot that they need to stay home alone because I don't have a lot of outside errands I need to run regularly. Also, if I need to go to an appointment DH can work from home.

This is me. We live in a small town and on Tuesdays dd has to be dropped off at tumbling and on Fridays DS has to be dropped off at guitar lessons. It's about a 15 minute round trip. I will leave my 11 year old home, and even my 8 year old dd for those short amount of times.

[Dory]

For quick short runs I started leaving the older two this past year. The first couple times I called halfway through the errand (so 10min in) just to check. When my son called me for the first time I felt a little more secure that they weren't just doing whatever they wanted when I walked out the door. He called to ask permission to play outside while I was gone and I told him not when there wasn't any adults, so he asked if he could have some ice cream lol. I was babysitting my younger siblings at home at that age the only reason I waited until this year was because his communication skills are weak and I was unsure how he would do if he had to call for help but he's ready now. Dd does just fine as she usually does with every new piece of responsibility that she is handed.

This week I dropped them off at the library and let them go in by themselves. They know to stay together when they are out and about so they get a book or two and then sit together while they look them over. This is also the first year they will be old enough to go to our local pool without me. The age at the pool for a child without an adult is 9. It's a big year and they are loving it and stepping into it wonderfully.

 

Each kid will be different. After all, my oldest is 10 and is ready now, my dd is 9 and is just as ready as her older brother.

 

By 12 I was babysitting the neighbours kids and would have the house tidy and supper started for them when they got home. At 13 I babysat 4 kids for a week on my own.

[Cakes]

In my area the law is 11...or is it 12? Hmm.

 

I think the more important question is how well prepared are they for handling an emergency? Someone pounding on the door yelling to be let in or saying they just had a car accident,  someone trying to open the front door, weird phone calls etc.

 

It is the freak occurances that I worry about...but perhaps I am over protective!

[KRG]

My oldest started staying home alone around age 10.

My youngest is 3 and has never stayed home alone.  He seems to think he has that option though lol  He will beg and plead to stay home so he can keep playing!

[Amira]

One of our biggest factors is the neighborhood.  We let our three stay home alone for about 3 hours at a time when my oldest two were was 11 and 9.  We had multiple neighbors in every direction who they could have gone to for help and we'd usually make sure at least one or two would be around while we were gone in case there was an emergency.  When my oldest was 12 and we lived in a different neighborhood, there were friends across the street and dh worked about 2 blocks from home so it was easy for me to leave them alone (and I had to, because I had no car and I couldn't take three children shopping with me in that town).  

 

It was nice to have a friendly neighborhood where my children could get used to being on their own but know help was always a door away.

 

This will come up again in a few years when my second son graduates from high school and leaves home when my youngest is just 10.  I suspect he'll be ready to stay home alone then, although I bet it'll feel weird to him.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I think it depends. Based on your description, they are probably fine, especially together. Maybe start with a few 10-30 minute trips first.

 

My first two were easy to leave as they were trustworthy and capable. They followed directions well and could do good problem-solving. They also got along swimmingly. My younger three seem about two years younger than their chronological ages, have poor reasoning skills, and have some behaviors. They also tend to freeze when things are different than planned or fearful. I seriously doubt any of them will be left alone at 12 ( though we shall see).

 

So it just on a case by case basis.

[SKL]

Sounds like your kids are ready if you feel OK with it.

 

Mine are too young still, but when I was young 8-10 was pretty normal, depending on the kid.  Of course some kids can't be trusted even at 12....

[Dmmetler]

I haven't left DD at home alone yet, but she regularly stays home when DH is working in his office upstairs and is effectively on her own, and very much enjoys doing so (she'll also make him lunch and bring it up when she's home "alone"-which is something I DON'T do ;) ).  I wouldn't worry about leaving her home alone at this point as long as there was someone fairly close by she could go to or call if she felt she needed adult assistance. I'm much less worried about leaving her home alone than I'd be with her waiting at the community center where she takes dance simply because any adult could walk into that building without trouble, but if she's home alone (or if DH is working upstairs, which is essentially the same thing) she knows not to let anyone in.

 

I think she's starting to get frustrated that there's never any time when she COULD stay by herself-but with a homeschooling mom and a telecommuting dad, there simply aren't opportunities to do so ;).

 

 

[Wilma]

I occasionally leave my set (9, 7, 5, 3) for a quick dog-walk if they do not wish to go. No biggie.

 

Have any of y'all actually ever encountered a crazy person pounding on your door saying they had an emergency? Me, not.

[Barb_]

I've just started leaving my 9yo alone on occasion for practice. I'll take the dog for a walk with my youngest and leave him playing by himself while his older sisters are out or still sleeping. At that age I'm comfortable with up to 45 minutes as long as I can be back home in 5 minutes. Practice helps. I find kids are generally more comfortable being alone or in charge of others at 11 or 12 if they have a few years of gradually increasing responsibility behind them.

[Barb_]

In my area the law is 11...or is it 12? Hmm.

 

I think the more important question is how well prepared are they for handling an emergency? Someone pounding on the door yelling to be let in or saying they just had a car accident, someone trying to open the front door, weird phone calls etc.

 

It is the freak occurances that I worry about...but perhaps I am over protective!

I teach my younger kids to open the window a crack and say, "Mom is upstairs in the shower...I'll call 911 for you." And then close the window and do that.

 

But it's never happened.