If you have ever been on hospital bed rest during pregnancy...

[SebastianCat]

If you have ever been on hospital bed rest during a pregnancy, what would be most helpful?

 

I will be visiting a friend tomorrow who was hospitalized a week ago for leaking amniotic fluid and is on strict bed rest. She is 25 weeks pregnant and has 2 young children at home. She was on bed rest at home starting at 19 weeks, but being hospitalized was a huge fear and now reality.

 

If you have ever been through this, what do you recommend I give/bring her? I have found a couple of books that might be encouraging and a CD of recordings from our state homeschool convention that I thought might help pass some time,but is there anything else that would be meaningful? Would buying a small baby gift, like a receiving blanket or a preemie outfit, be good or inappropriate? Snacks or food? Other books or magazines for "fun" reading?

 

Also, if you were in her position would you welcome me bringing my kids (ages 12 & 10) or not? I have no choice about them coming with me, but they are old enough to sit in a waiting room with their tablets if a solo visit is better.

 

Thank you!

[momto10blessings]

I have not btdt, but would suggest skipping the baby gifts. Too uncertain at 25 weeks. I think books would be great.

 

Eta: maybe offer to bring lunch. A break from hospital food would probably be appreciated

[Um_2_4]

I was only in for 3 days before they got me "stabilized" on meds and sent home for strict bedrest, so taking that into consideration.... I think a solo visit might be nice. I craved some conversation LOL. Also if she wants to talk about certain matters, she might feel more comfy if it was just the gals kwim? 

And books are good. Will she have a way to play CDs? Does she like puzzles?? (I love Dell logic puzzles) How about a nice reusable cup for water at her bedside (they are all over now Target, etc.)? Some of those natural crystal light or the like??? I hated the hospital "cup" I thought it tasted funny... :tongue_smilie:

[twooakharborhicks]

I did almost 2 months on hospital bed rest as well as another month at home.  I would say no to the baby gifts - a well meaning aunt brought me a very nice baby blanket and I completely lost it.  The thing I wanted most of all was company, being in the hospital - which was over two hours from my home - was desperately isolating.  I had bad days and good days, but there were times when the stress would get to me so badly I couldn't even read or watch tv - so CDs or audiobooks were really good.  My sister also bought me some really beautiful hospital gowns so that I wouldn't have to wear the hospital's.

 

I liked having kids visit me most days - all company was good company - but like I said, some days it was really hard to do anything.  I would suggest asking her if she minds ahead of time and not stretching the visit out if it seems like she's tired or uncomfortable.  I'd like to second something other than hospital food, I was lucky enough to be somewhere with pretty good food but it was nice to have some variety once in while. 

 

My best tip is just to be patient and let her vent if she needs to.  It's a frustrating situation and I know I spent way too much time putting on a show for my doctor's, my husband, my older son, my mom, and just about everyone else.  But I had one friend who would come once a week and tell me to just let her have it.  I think that was the best gift of all :)

 

[Starr]

I was at home on bedrest for 4 months. I did not want anything encouraging. I just couldn't focus. Distraction and marking off another day was all I could do. Now a friend of mine handled a similar situation much better, she learned a new language! I would bring lunch and snacks and treats and plenty of amusing conversation. My friends all brought their kids with them.

[Woodland Mist Academy]

Everyone is different, so it's hard to say. Some might find the baby gift encouraging, others might find it stressful or upsetting. It also might just depend on the mood at the time... Personally, I wouldn't take a baby gift.

 

Someone brought me packaged pre-moistened face cloths. I'm not sure why, but that has stood out in my mind after all these years. I have some lavender scented ones I use occasionally, and even now I remember how thankful I was to the person who brought me some in the hospital. Maybe just being able to feel refreshed after crying or a long sleepless night...

 

 

[Woodland Mist Academy]

Speaking of crying...soft tissues might be appreciated! Some hospitals have really rough tissues.

 

Scented hand lotion and nice lip balm might be welcome.

[mom2samlibby]

Kids would have stessed me out, I think. I did a couple of days in the hospital to stop contractions and then sent home on four weeks of bedrest. I would have liked company and reading material. No baby gift and no children.

[Frances]

I was at home on bedrest for 4 months. I did not want anything encouraging. I just couldn't focus. Distraction and marking off another day was all I could do. Now a friend of mine handled a similar situation much better, she learned a new language! I would bring lunch and snacks and treats and plenty of amusing conversation. My friends all brought their kids with them.

 

This was exactly my experience during two months of home bedrest. Like another poster mentioned, we also didn't have TV, but got one for the duration. I love to read, but couldn't concentrate enough to really get into it. We were very fortunate to be living in a wonderful international family apartment complex at a university during the time, and I loved having visitors, including children. Food was always welcome, as my husband was busy taking care of me and keeping up with his graduate work. Just having people around to pass the time with was a wonderful blessing.

[Zoo Keeper]

Things I enjoyed when on hospital bed rest:

• visiting with anyone who did not want to take my blood, check my fluids, or otherwise dissect my situation. I talked and thought baby all day, it was nice to talk about other things with other people, and be reminded that there was a world out there. ;)
• I loved having treats that weren't on the hospital menu--chocolate! A good cup of coffee! 
• nice hand/body lotion--the heat/ac in the hospital dried me out terribly.
• my brother brought me headphones and music, my sweet husband brought me cooking magazines and big fat book to read. 

I would NOT bring a baby gift; it was just too. much. for me to handle, emotionally. 

[BlsdMama]

Kids would have stessed me out, I think. I did a couple of days in the hospital to stop contractions and then sent home on four weeks of bedrest. I would have liked company and reading material. No baby gift and no children.

 

Yes, this.  I spent ten days in the hospital before delivering our 26 weeker, Hannah, and then two weeks when we were expecting Olivia, our almost 3yo.  It's really stressful to just sit and not be busy passing time.  If you know any handcrafts, you could offer to teach her to pass the time such as knitting, etc.  Interesting magazines that are pertinent to her interests would be great.  A meal to the family is an incredible blessing.

[mumto2]

I spent over three months in the hospital while pregnant for Ds.  I was extremely stressed and on some pretty heavy duty meds for contractions which made concentration hard.  Pretty sure she will need to stay pretty flat and on sides so craft wise that means tiny work.  Cross stitch was what I occasionally worked on.  Books were frequently  hard to hold so I loved magazines.  Dd was allowed to visit and someone brought some new books to read to her which was really good for both of us. Baby clothing would have completely upset me but my roommate for most of my stay adored baby presents.... Most of my friends had toddlers so they didn't visit.  With older dc's which roommate had several it depends on how well she knows them and if they can sit politely and visit -- sounds like yours could.  If they really want to see her take them and offer to take them down to the waiting room after they visit a few minutes.  That way if she wants to talk more privately she can.   I think the gifts you have already picked sound great.  She might enjoy some home ed product catalogues if you have any laying around.... Everyone brought chocolate which was hard to give away (diets) but hard candy was enjoyed.  I loved lunch brought in.  

[SebastianCat]

You ladies have been SO helpful! Thank you! I will definitely skip the baby gift for now and focus on things that would be a good source of distraction. I'll offer to bring her lunch when we come today.

 

I will ask whether she's up for the kids or not. I'm thankful that they are old enough to have the option.

 

Thank you also for the reminder of meals for the family. We had some friends organize a meal schedule when she was on bedrest at home, but not since she's been in the hospital. I will ask if we can schedule more to help out her dh.

[prairiewindmomma]

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[Pippen]

Just spent several months at a hospital with a family member for another reason.  We have Amazon Prime so Amazon giftcards were a big help. I could order and ship to the hospital, or order something for my kids and have it shipped home. I used my Kindle a lot while there.

 

Another thought is to ask specifically if there's anything you can do for her that hasn't been covered. Someone asked me that this past week and the result is that my flowerbed I hadn't had time to get to yet is planted and lovely!