Helping an 8th grader make a decision about high school

[Penguin]

If your eighth grader was given a choice about whether or not to homeschool for high school, how did you help your child make the decision?  I would imagine that the choice is easy for some kids, but that is not the case here. 

 

 

Any words of wisdom to help guide the child through this process?!

 

(We are finishing up 7th grade right now.  We have talked about this, but I have not pushed the issue. I will have to push the issue in early 8th grade, however.)

[ChristyH]

I would try to find out why my child wanted the choice they choose. My boys would want to go for social reasons. My daughter, who will be a senior next year, turned down an offer to attend school. She likes to run her own schedule. If my boys said they wanted more competition academically then I might consider it.

[Night Elf]

We did a simple pros and cons list. My dd wrote down everything, even things that appeared to be inconsequential. We let it sit for about a week and then read it over. She felt the pros of public high school outweighed the cons. We talked about it and then waited a while before we talked about it again. She was still able to articulate well why she thought public school was her best choice. So she started ps in 9th grade. She's just finishing her 10th grade year. She said there are very few things she misses from homeschool.

[SailorMom]

One of my sons decided in 7th that he wanted to go to high school, so we went ahead and put him in 8th.  The other son - it 8th - decided firmly he did not.  He didn't have the option to change his mind after he started high school because they would give NO credit for any classes he took. 

Neither struggled with the decision, thankfully, but here is what each of them counted as important:

Son returning to PS - social interaction, homecoming, prom, regular diploma

Son staying - freedom, more choice in classes, DE classes would help make up classroom time, dealing with his LD's would be better.

[brookspr]

My dd just made that decision this year, and it was made easier by the high school allowing her to attend part-time.  Having been in public school before also helped.  At first she wanted to go full time (for social reasons), then not at all.  Part-time will be the best of both worlds, she will do band (which is a graded class) and one or two other classes (TBD) and still be able to participate in all of the activities and clubs as if she were a regular student.

 

 

[AngelaNYC]

All 3 of my kids had the choice to attend high school or not.  Oldest dd only came home for 8th grade and it was with the full understanding that she would attend high school afterward.  Here in NYC we have over 400 public high schools to choose from and we found one together that was fairly close to home, small, and focused on journalism - which was what she wanted to do since she loved writing.  It was #1 on her application (kids get to pick up to 12 schools in order of preference) and she made it in.  Younger dd was homeschooled from 3rd-8th grades.  Early in 7th grade she came to me with thoughts of maybe attending high school - but only a performing arts school.  So we started doing the research.  We read everything on the schools' websites, read tons of parent and student reviews, and watched a lot of YouTube videos of performances. In the fall of 8th grade she auditioned for 3 of them and in the spring she found out she got into the biggest and best one (that has a 4% acceptance rate).  She had a few weeks to make the final decision about it and she went for it.  She'll be graduating that school in a month.  Ds is just finishing up 7th grade.  He still has his high school options open, but has pretty much decided to stay home (yay).  There's a good charter school near me that a friend of his goes to (it's a K-12 school) and he was thinking about that one, but only that one, and it's always an option down the road.  But he knows he can get so much more done at home and can start volunteering/working next year at a place he loves - something he is dying to do but couldn't if he was in school.  Plus he's seen his sisters go through it and wants no part of it.  

[Kareni]

We began homeschooling in 7th grade when my daughter asked not to return to her 6th grade school. (This was no reflection on the school but rather the hour long commute each way.) We gave her the choice of attending the local middle school or of homeschooling and taking some classes at a homeschooling resource center. We had her shadow a middle school student for a full day, and she also visited the resource center. She elected to homeschool.

In subsequent years, she had free choice. Prior to ninth grade, she visited the local high school and sat in on a couple of classes, took a tour, etc. Prior to 10th grade, she attended an information session for a newly opening charter arts academy. In each case, she continued to choose homeschooling. I will admit that the resource center played a large part in her decision -- initially due to fun offerings such as fencing and ice skating but ultimately due to the fact that she fell in love with Latin which she took there for five years.  We were fortunate that the resource center also offered some high caliber academic classes including AP classes in Latin, English, History and Government.

 

Regards,

Kareni

[mjbucks1]

We gave our oldest the option of staying home or going to a private all boys schools that is known for their acadmic rigor.  However, ds chose to stay home because he felt he would better be able to concentrate on his academics without the social distractions (he gets plenty of social interaction from speech/debate team, competitve swimming, and church youth group).  He has also been able to take more accelerated classes earlier than he would have been able to in the private school.  I did talk to him about the clubs he would be missing out on (the private school has a FIRST robotics league), and also pointed him to the fact that several of his swimming friends went to the private school (and they have a fantastic swim team).  But ds still chose to stay at home and take online AP courses. 

 

I think what Beth M. did - listing the pros and cons and then waiting a bit to look over them - is an excellent idea!

[Kareni]

Here's an older thread that might have some helpful information.

 

Do you let your child decide whether to go to high school?

 

Regards,
Kareni

[G5052]

We discussed it some when the oldest was in 8th grade because we live in an area where the high school doesn't take most credits from homeschooling.  So we had to commit one way or the other.  Several of our closest friends decided very early on to end with 7th or 8th grade, so that was a factor.  There is also a governor's school in our area for 11th and 12th, but their focus doesn't match with the interests of mine.

 

I was uneasy about the local high school though because at the time 2/3 of the local graduates required remedial English or math at the local community college where I'm a professor.  And I was seeing first hand that the top graduates weren't necessarily graduating with basic skills that I would expect of graduates ready for college.  The details of their AP scores were disappointing as well.  They give hundreds of AP exams each year, and only a handful were getting 4's and 5's and only in certain subjects.  

 

So we made it a parental decision to continue homeschooling for academic reasons and never looked back.  We outsource some courses for academic and social reasons.  Mine are involved in a community sport and music that isn't taught at the high school, so that wasn't a draw for us.

[Amethyst]

My youngest homeschooled until 7th grade when she started going to public school (her choice). She is finishing up 8th grade now and in recent weeks has expressed a desire to go back to homeschooling. While that tugs at my heart, I am trying to not act too emotionally. Three things remind me not to act too quickly:

 

1. It is May and things at school seem to be particularly meaningless and time-wasting at this time of year. (Wasted time in school is one of her biggest complaints.) So I remind her that this is not the best time of year to be making that decision.

 

2. It is easier to pull a child from school in the middle of the year than it is to start a child in the middle of the school year. I found this out the hard way. Twice. And I really really want to avoid ever putting a child into school in the middle of the year after friendships have formed and classes have progressed at different paces than at home.

 

3. For us (not for you!), socialization for this child at the time when we put her in public school was a huge issue. We had moved and tried desperately to make new acquaintances but nothing developed. We have moved 4 times in our homeschooling years, so I was really good at making contacts with other homeschoolers. But the situation this time with this child was different. She has many many friends at school and she is socially content. I need to remember this when she is whining about wanting to go back to homeschooling because in a few months she will likely be whining about not having friends and wanting to go back to public school.

[TranquilMind]

We did pros/cons and lots of discussion.

Be careful though.  First school was a very unwise choice, even though it was the "best" classical school in the area with an emphasis on a subject in which my kid excelled.  It was far too easy and the social atmosphere was horrendous.  Drugs and sex were frequent occurrences there. 

Get the inside scoop, not just the school's portrayal of itself. 

[TechWife]

When we brought up the topic my son said "No way" and that was that. No looking back, no regrets. 

[brookspr]

We discussed it some when the oldest was in 8th grade because we live in an area where the high school doesn't take most credits from homeschooling.  So we had to commit one way or the other.  Several of our closest friends decided very early on to end with 7th or 8th grade, so that was a factor.  There is also a governor's school in our area for 11th and 12th, but their focus doesn't match with the interests of mine.

 

I was uneasy about the local high school though because at the time 2/3 of the local graduates required remedial English or math at the local community college where I'm a professor.  And I was seeing first hand that the top graduates weren't necessarily graduating with basic skills that I would expect of graduates ready for college.  The details of their AP scores were disappointing as well.  They give hundreds of AP exams each year, and only a handful were getting 4's and 5's and only in certain subjects.  

 

So we made it a parental decision to continue homeschooling for academic reasons and never looked back.  We outsource some courses for academic and social reasons.  Mine are involved in a community sport and music that isn't taught at the high school, so that wasn't a draw for us.

I'm always confused when I hear that it's all or nothing with high school.  Our high school will let our daughter attend part time and take as many or few classes as she wants.  Now, she cannot get a diploma from the high school without fulfilling all of their requirements and they do not take home schooled class credits.  But we are just going to submit a home school transcript and one from the high school when she applies to college.  Even if she were to stay home for two years and attend full time for two years, we would do the same thing.  Do some schools not allow a student to attend if he/she is not planning on earning a diploma?

[Penguin]

Wow, y'all are awesome. You have given me such great ideas. Our not-so-small wrinkle is that we may have to return to the states sometime before DS graduates from high school. I am just trying to figure out whether we should even try to return before he starts 9th grade or not.

 

Perhaps I should state the obvious - our 13 year old will not decide whether or not his family should make a transatlantic move. But there is some wiggle room; enough to make it worth taking his input into account. Having raised two teenagers already, I know that life is smoother if the child has bought into his educational situation.

 

(edited for clarity)

 

 

You mean after prying the tiniest bits of information out of him as to what he would like to do? Mine can't make a decision as to what kind of sandwich he would like. :001_rolleyes: This has been a lengthy and sometimes extremely frustrating process.

Oh, this really made me laugh. Honestly, I think it is a bit ridiculous for me to even ask my 13 year old if he is sure that he can commit to homeschooling for FOUR MORE YEARS. Yikes!

[snowbeltmom]

 Do some schools not allow a student to attend if he/she is not planning on earning a diploma?

In my neck of the woods, it is very unusual for a homeschooled student to partially enroll in the public school system. My states leaves this decision up to each individual school district, and my district is one of the few in the area that permits partial enrollment.

 

In addition to not permitting partial enrollment, many districts will not grant credit for homeschooled classes.  If a student decides at the end of 9th grade that he wants to attend the public school, he would have to begin at the 9th grade level when he enrolls in the public school.

[G5052]

I'm always confused when I hear that it's all or nothing with high school.  Our high school will let our daughter attend part time and take as many or few classes as she wants.  Now, she cannot get a diploma from the high school without fulfilling all of their requirements and they do not take home schooled class credits.  But we are just going to submit a home school transcript and one from the high school when she applies to college.  Even if she were to stay home for two years and attend full time for two years, we would do the same thing.  Do some schools not allow a student to attend if he/she is not planning on earning a diploma?

 

At the high school mine would attend, they "may" allow you to take up to two classes.  It is entirely up to the school though, and they have a reputation for being somewhat difficult that way.  A friend of mine was not allowed to register her son until just before school actually started, and he had to choose from classes where there were still slots and only from a list of certain classes.  Nothing in the law requires them to admit part-time students, and the policies are decided locally.  I've heard that you can appeal to the school board, but I don't know if anyone has been successful.

 

They don't provide anything that I need at this point, so we've never pursued that.

[katilac]

I'm always confused when I hear that it's all or nothing with high school.  Our high school will let our daughter attend part time and take as many or few classes as she wants.  Now, she cannot get a diploma from the high school without fulfilling all of their requirements and they do not take home schooled class credits.  But we are just going to submit a home school transcript and one from the high school when she applies to college.  Even if she were to stay home for two years and attend full time for two years, we would do the same thing.  Do some schools not allow a student to attend if he/she is not planning on earning a diploma?

 

You're lucky! Many, many districts are not like that. No part-time allowed, no credit given for home schooled classes.  A public school cannot, in most cases, turn you away if you wish to enroll full-time, but they do not have to accept your h/s classes.

 

Enrolling in 9th grade and leaving to h/s in 11th grade is just fine, you will have a transcript from the school for those years. But starting high school at home and then enrolling in school can be problematic if they won't award credit or allow you to take Algebra 2 w/o taking Algebra 1 with them, and so on. If your district allows part-time enrollment, you probably wouldn't have that problem. 

 

Many students who switch to a brick and mortar school after starting off at home have to play catch-up, maybe go to summer school or spend an extra year. 

[TechWife]

I'm always confused when I hear that it's all or nothing with high school.  Our high school will let our daughter attend part time and take as many or few classes as she wants.  Now, she cannot get a diploma from the high school without fulfilling all of their requirements and they do not take home schooled class credits.  But we are just going to submit a home school transcript and one from the high school when she applies to college.  Even if she were to stay home for two years and attend full time for two years, we would do the same thing.  Do some schools not allow a student to attend if he/she is not planning on earning a diploma?

 

In my state, partial high school participation by homeschoolers is at the discretion of the school principal. I don't know how it is in other areas, but in my county schools are overcrowded with regular students and they don't allow homeschoolers to participate. 

 

I also live in an "all or nothing" state. This means that the high school can decide whether or not to accept any of our homeschool credits if a student starts public school mid-stream. That means that a student, desiring to enter for 11th grade, could be required to start at 9th grade if the principal chooses not to accept any of the credits earned at home. So, the wise thing when deciding whether or not to homeschool is to decide if you're ready to do it all four years, because you might be stuck doing it when you don't want to if your student doesn't get any public school credit for courses completed at home. 

[Erica in OR]

Our oldest is in 8th grade and she just spent today attending high school classes with a friend who is a freshman at the local public school. It gave her a taste of what the experience would be like. Our district is one that allows for partial enrollment, either at the b&m high school or through their virtual academy (not Connections Academy, but one that offers many AP classes, additional languages, etc.). After one day, she was firm in her belief that she did not want to enroll full time, but would like to look through the catalog for one or two classes to take there.

 

I'm interested in keeping that door open, since dual enrollment at the local community college (paid for by the local school district) could be an option her jr. and sr. years.

 

Erica in OR

[Night Elf]

I'm always confused when I hear that it's all or nothing with high school.  Our high school will let our daughter attend part time and take as many or few classes as she wants.  Now, she cannot get a diploma from the high school without fulfilling all of their requirements and they do not take home schooled class credits.  But we are just going to submit a home school transcript and one from the high school when she applies to college.  Even if she were to stay home for two years and attend full time for two years, we would do the same thing.  Do some schools not allow a student to attend if he/she is not planning on earning a diploma?

 

My local schools have no part-time options. It's all or nothing. I live in GA.

[MarkT]

Not a HS vs PS choice for my son but don't expect more than a lukewarm decision from 8th grade boys.  My son (just finished 8th grade) was allowed to choose from four local high schools (including charters) to attend.  I did a plus/minus list with him, etc.  In the end, the final decision was pushed to me ( but he did eliminate my first choice). I guess this allows him to blame me if he doesn't like it.