AimeeM Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 Have you ever trusted someone you knew little of, but who had an amazing (although varied) reputation in their field, and come to regret it? I'm starting to wonder if those using "eclectic" to describe a certain person really meant code for: "Run! He's a nut! You'll spend the next several months believing YOU must be doing something wrong, because this person has SO MUCH experience in this field, but in reality, this person is cray cray" (excuse my pre-teen lingo). I think I want to cry. Somebody please remind me that I know what is best for my child. I know it's sad that I need that validation (no need to rub it in), but it's been a rough few months. I have the feeling at the end of this, I'm going to be the eternal bad guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 I wanted to reply "yes," but this seems to refer to a professional relationship and this would not apply to my case. If you feel (in your gut or otherwise) that this is not healthy or helpful, I'd say, sever the relationship and don't be afraid to seek help elsewhere. Not everyone's methods work for everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 enough times that I seldom trust anyone anymore, though not in a professional sense. When it comes to professional sense I trust no one. Personal sense I have learned to not extend trust very often Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammi K Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 Not quite the same thing but my son and I walked out of a psychologist's office and ds looked at me and said, "Please don't make me go back to see him again. He has more 'issues' than I do!" Trust your gut, Mom! Run, don't walk! Shake off the dust, forgive your self and move on. Hugs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted March 11, 2014 Author Share Posted March 11, 2014 Not quite the same thing but my son and I walked out of a psychologist's office and ds looked at me and said, "Please don't make me go back to see him again. He has more 'issues' than I do!" Trust your gut, Mom! Run, don't walk! Shake off the dust, forgive your self and move on. Hugs! I wish I could. I feel stuck - if only because my daughter will hate me for it and, if nothing else good has come from this situation, our relationship (mine and hers) is better because of it... and that's something I risk ruining if I do what I *need* to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammi K Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 I wish I could. I feel stuck - if only because my daughter will hate me for it and, if nothing else good has come from this situation, our relationship (mine and hers) is better because of it... and that's something I risk ruining if I do what I *need* to do. Well, in that case, :grouphug: and peace to you as you do what you must. So sorry you are stuck in a difficult situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 If my "trust" was based on social pressures or despair, and there were little tweaks of suspicion throughout--then yes, I regretted it. But I regretted not trusting my intuition. If it is true trust, based both on intuition and knowledge, and I was confident in my decision at that time--then no, even if I changed my mind later. I hope it works out for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applethyme Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 I try to always listen to that little voice in my head when it comes to professionals because it usually is right. :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 Yes. I trusted our community services board, full of professional substance abuse and mental health professionals, to recommend a facility for drug treatment. It was a horrible place. If I could make any decision in my life over again it would be one of the top 5 that my son would NOT go to the place we sent him. It was so bad, I need to do trauma reduction therapy to get over it. I'm sorry you are having a hard time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 That sounds like a tough situation. To answer your question, yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celticmom Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Oh, I feel for you. I am a naturally intuitive person and usually know when to trust people. I have been "caught" twice in recent years and both times my children were the ones to suffer for my poor choices. The first poor choice of who to trust was that I allowed someone from Boy Scouts who I DID NOT TRUST but everyone else did to mentor my son and he turned out to be an evil liar who probably meant a lot of damage to my son. I did not trust my instincts with this person because everyone in my community held him in high regard and so I convinced myself that his physical appearance (he was extremely unattractive) was the reason for my feelings. Even though I normally do not judge by appearance. Turns out I was right, but it was wayyy too late by the time I discovered it. Everyone still holds this person in high regard because all my attempts to "out" him were stonewalled. He was a great guy and I was a nut evidently. The second time I trusted someone I shouldn't have they deliberately sabotaged my family and the only reason I trusted that person (who I know lies extremely well but I wanted to believe they had changed) was that they are related to me and I wanted to believe they had matured. Big mistake. That person has always been angry about our family being happy and loving and I took that person in for six weeks last fall and they deliberately caused harm that is just now healing in my younger children and I am not sure it will heal completely without a miracle. So, yes, I have trusted people I shouldn't have but not often. I sure have paid for ignoring my rational side, and will not do so again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Look, if you haven't already had the bubble burst, lets burst it. There are people sitting in chairs opposite you commanding $100-150 an hour who aren't as carefully researched as you, are mentally lazy and don't take the time to understand EVERYTHING, are of less character or diligence than you, etc. etc. If this is just the FIRST time you've gotten burnt by an expert who was an idiot, prepare to be burnt more. It happens. You're right, the guy is wrong, end of story. If the guy is right, the next person you go to will say the same thing. If the guy is wrong, then it's a mercy you got out. Leave, follow your gut, do what it takes. Teen daughter hate is temporary and sometimes solved more readily than we imagine. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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