Self-doubt

[scrapbookbuzz]

I find myself plagued by/facing a stronghold of self-doubt lately...about everything! I know the best cure for this is to just go do what I erroneously think I can't do but it's like I hit a wall when I even begin to THiNK about doing that. Anyone been there, done that? Any suggestions?

 

:bigear:

[Jean in Newcastle]

:grouphug:   Start small.  Keep track of your successes.  

[Anne in CA]

Try to think back to the people who planted the self doubt in the first place. I'm just guessing they were not real winners. With adult perspective, realize that competent people do not plant self doubt in children, put those people in their place, and live your own life, forget their script for your life.

[Garga]

Just do it.

 

Make yourself do the things you fear even if you don't want to.

[Dandelion]

For me, self-doubt seems to surface when I'm overwhelmed and/or physically exhausted.

 

Are either of those conditions true for you right now?

 

When overwhelm is the crux of the problem, the following helps me:

- making a plan for getting things back under control

- identifying the top 1-3 actions that will yield the biggest immediate reduction in overwhelm and then focusing on those first

- getting back to our routine/schedule (falling out of the routine tends to cause a lot of problems at our house - not just for me)

 

When physical exhaustion is a factor, I focus on the following:

- going to bed earlier a few nights in a row

- eating cleaner

- making sure I drink lots of water and get my vitamins

 

Another technique is one I picked up from the book "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" (one of my all-time favorite books) years ago:  recognize the fact that your thoughts are just thoughts and that you can dismiss them.  They don't have power over you unless you choose to give them power.  And that's all self-doubt is - a collection of negative thoughts about yourself and what you are/aren't capable of.  It takes practice, but you can teach yourself to acknowledge negative thoughts and then simply let them go.  Tell yourself "there I go again" when they come up, and then choose to disregard them.  Might sound a bit woo, but it works.  

 

After all of the above, I do what you already pointed out in your OP: I just do what needs to be done.   :grouphug:

[SKL]

Good question.  There have been times when I've had this under control, but now is not one of those times.

[Learning fun]

Holy cow, yes I've been there! I have found many ways to help this.

1. Keep your surroundings as happy as you can

* put on happy, peaceful music

* open the blinds and turn on the lights

* burn a candle or use an essential oil diffuser with a smell you love

*try to keep your house, or an area of your house clean enough so that you are at peace when you are there.

 

2. Take care of yourself

*try and get enough sleep

* eat three healthy meals a day plus snacks

*exercise daily ( try for 30 min, but even 15 will help)

*regularly spend some time outdoors

 

3. Attack it head on!

*pray

*positive affirmations- say the things you want manifested in your life as if they have already happened (ex: I am bold and courageous) make as many affirmations as you need and then either write them or read them out loud daily.

*positive books and meditations- I really like Joel Osteen's books for great encouragement. I have recently discovered Jonathan Parker's meditations and am loving them.

*smile - it feels silly but if you smile continuously for 15 min a day it sends a message to your brain that all is well (this is more effective if you look at a mirror when you do it).

 

4. Evaluate the stressors in your life- Now is the time to simplify and let go of the extras that are causing stress ( for me that looked like not watching One Tree Hill anymore because I got way too into it and found myself very stressed with all the drama. Ha!)

 

As someone who has lived with anxiety since I was tiny, I know how hard this can be. But by using these tools anxiety is just not an issue for me anymore. Largely my life is anxiety free, and those few times I do feel it I can easily manage it. Good luck!

[scrapbookbuzz]

Thank you, all, for your input. Through some Scripture reading and prayer, I did experience some release last night. Reading up on strongholds, I learned a stronghold is " a place that has been fortified so as to protect it from attack." Think fortress or the 'keep' of a castle. Difficult to penetrate. but then I thought,"Why do I want to protect self-doubt?" I don't! So The Armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-20) helps, too! I asked God to penetrate that stronghold, to break it down. That helped a lot! And tonight, I volunteered to help the altos run through their lines by playing the piano, since no one else evidently was able. I had a niggling of self-doubt right before that but I chose to ignore it. 8)

 

Little by little, I will, with the help of God, break down this stupid fortress. It's not destroyed yet, just severely damaged. I look forward to what happens when I completely break free! <3

[OneStepAtATime]

Hugs and best wishes.  BTDT.  Cancer and related health issues (doctor botched two surgeries) coupled with death of a parent that threw family business into chaos and suddenly homeschooling with little prep threw me off for quite a while.  Had to just focus on three things a day that I wanted to accomplish until I felt strong enough mentally to focus on more....

 

Keep lists small, celebrate accomplishments, force perceived failures out of your head and get plenty of rest and good food.  Easier said than done, I know.  Blessings to you and your family.

[G5052]

Good question.  There have been times when I've had this under control, but now is not one of those times.

 

December is tough.  It is all about the holidays and the end of 2013, and feeling inadequate and overwhelmed is part of the program.  

 

I always, always struggle in December, and this year has been tougher than most because of a family member having an out-of-state surgery in November and all of the worries associated with that. Thankfully mine are done with their schooling for the year, and my responsibilities are fewer. I'm hoping to rest and recover, and hopefully I'll begin coming up again in January.  Some homeschoolers feel burned-out and doubting in January-February, but December is always my hard month. 

[ThatHomeschoolDad]

I love Learned Optimism.  The beginning can be a bit of a drag, as it is indeed written by a clinical psychologist (no offense to PhDs), but you can skip right to the pages that talk about actual actions to take.   Not a cure all (nothing is), but I really like the author's approach.

[kbutton]

Yes, and it's almost always stress! In addition to trying things others have mentioned, Hubby has offered to help pitch in with some of the most onerous stuff. He's also spent time either getting me out of the house, out for a walk, or giving me a back/arm rub. I live very much inside my head at times, and sometimes I need some pleasant physical trigger to make me feel less trapped in my overly active noggin' when I'm stressed. I am also hoping to try some Epsom salt baths or foot soaks for stress relief. It's supposed to help detox our bodies from stress hormones, replenish nutrients we lose during stressful episodes, etc.

 

When I start to feel better, it helps to take a step back and tackle the things I'm most worried about head on. Until then, I go for the low hanging fruit that is most likely to make a distinct or visible difference right away so that I can gain some confidence.