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Learning fun

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About Learning fun

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    Hive Mind Level 2 Worker: Nurse Bee
  1. Something clicked in me when I read "Forgiveness is giving up all hope of a better past". I realized how true that was in my life. Attached to my anger ( sometimes rage) was the false hope that offenses of my past could somehow be fixed. When I read that quote the light dawned. The situation will always have been rotten and the person will always have been abusive. I was then able to accept it, my emotions were soothed, and could think clearly on how I wanted my relationship with the offender to look like in the future. In one case I withdrew my emotional and physical presence in their life. My withdrawal was the result of my forgiveness ( the ability to let go) not my lack of it.
  2. I used to roll my eyes at herbs, supplements, oils and such. Now when something's amiss I turn to those thing first and then turn to conventional meds when stronger treatment is needed. I can trace my change to two circumstances. The first was when an elderly friend's arthritis medication destroyed her liver and she had to go on dialysis indefinitely. She went from active and spunky to very frail. I remember feeling so frustrated that the very thing she used to help her quality of life actually stole from it at the back end. Like robbing Peter to pay Paul. I came to the conclusion that maybe the medication was worth it because it gave her all those years of functionality but if arthritis could be managed without hurting the liver through more holistic means wasn't it at least worth exploring? The next circumstance happened because I was on a class c medication to help manage a hormonal imbalance when I got pregnant. I was completely fine absorbing the risk myself but there was no chance I was going to expose that risk to my baby. So my choices were to suffer or explore milder means to manage my symptoms. I chose to explore and I have been able to manage my symptoms to my satisfaction since. After my stance had already changed it was confirmed with my little one. I had always treated her illnesses holistically until she got a nasty ear infection and the herbs and oils weren't cutting it. So I took her to the doctor who put her on amoxicillin. The amoxicillin did a great job at wiping out the infection but it also left her with a yeast infection for 6 months. Was it worth it? Absolutely, I was grateful for it but I was just as grateful that all of her previous illnesses were able to be resolved without throwing her body out of homeostasis.
  3. It could be that your prolactin levels are off (the hormone responsible for lactation). Those were some of my symptoms when I was diagnosed with hyperprolactinemia. Luckily the condition is easily regulated with meds.
  4. Baby seals get my vote with their big eyed gaze against all that fluffiness.
  5. I was bullied not so much at school but at home and there are so many repercussions because of it. It's hard to grapple with the feelings of worthlessness, anxiety, anger, and grief while trying to function as a contributing adult. Guided meditation has helped me work through a lot of garbage. I like Mark Waldman as he is a neuroscientist and guides using studies and research and a minimum amount of woo. I also like Jonathan Parker but be aware he uses a maximum amount of woo. I find autobiographies to be therapeutic. I love reading how others overcome and triumph over their struggles. It gives me both examples and hope that I can do the same. I also read a lot of self- help books. I recently discovered Brenee Brown and holy cow is she good. I like to zoom out and take a big view. My mom's childhood was utter crap. So much so that she was suicidal by the age of 9. My childhood was sad but with a lot of good sprinkled throughout. My daughter's childhood is beautiful and happy. I love knowing that my family is being healed generationally. I try and avoid my triggers. As much as I like popular music I just can't listen to it because I emote too much to the songs. I sort of drown in the themes of regret, loss, loneliness, and sadness. So it's instrumental music for me. I do miss my songs but its just not worth spiraling down like that. Ive gotten to the point where I'm not really angry with my bullies and can even appreciate them for their goodness ( I realize family is different than schoolmates) but I sometimes I find myself grieving for my childhood self. I'm not sure that'll ever go away. I've recently realized that it's okay that they don't love me and probably never will. I don't need to try and fight for that love. Instead I've decided to walk out of my family's house so to speak and use that energy to explore and live my life with delight. Or at least try to ?.
  6. I am so so sorry Quill. What a heart breaking tragedy. No wonder why there are trust issues. Sometimes I wonder if people with faith can suffer more than those without. I watched a documentary on campus rapes where they interviewed women who were raped and the universities tried to cover it up. The women who were interviewed were obviously traumatized and angry, but the two women who were religious were shattered. One commited suicided and one could barely talk or function in life. If was as if these women had to deal with both the efffects of the rape and the feelings of betrayal from God. The idea of knowing that God could have stopped something but chose not to is devistating. Like Katie said, I have to believe that at these times God is grieving with us. Elizabeth Smart wrote a book called "Where There's Hope". She shares her story of how she and many others picked up the pieces after their tragedies. I found it very inspiring. Like Scarlett said, time doesn't mean the same to God as it does to us. I think that means that it is okay for us to take as much time we need to heal and come to terms with our own personal faith and beliefs. I've read many near death accounts and there are a few common themes. One is that when they pass over they are either greeted by Jesus or a group of loved ones. The ones who died felt totally and completely loved. They also felt a complete acceptance. The things that troubled them in life were not troubling to them when they died. The message I glean from their experiences is that love and peace are there for us. Life is just really messy and sad and hard and can get in the way of us feeling it. Keep praying! Even if it's as simple as "God why?" or "God help!" or even "God, how could you?". I find sincere prayer to be one of the most powerful tools in my life to finding the connection and peace that I crave.
  7. Huh, I can think of three times in my life where God has shielded me from feelings of rage and/or despair. Three times. Every other time I was required to work through my feelings of anger, hate, contempt, frustration, futility, etc. Knowing that I loved God and that He loved me didn't make loving my neighbor any easier. But It does make loving my neighbor a priority. So I work at it and ask for help and study and try. Rarely do I have that effusive boundless feeling of God's love. Mostly I go through my day with the gentle and mild assurance that I am not walking this life alone.
  8. People love and perceive love imperfectly. Love doesn't have to be perfect to be present.
  9. I get a little confused when people say that they don't rely on their feelings because feelings can't be trusted. Isn't everything about us unreliable? Our minds are fragile and easily tricked, our senses are also easily deceived. Humans can't get a true reliable grasp on anything because everything about us is imperfect. But we do what we can and use what we have. So how do I get a sense of God's love? Feelings- Sometimes the feeling of God's love does wash over me. It's a warm and consuming love. Mental- spending time in Gods word, pondering truths, principles, ideas, and goodness. I think on God's love. Senses- (this is a big one for me) When I look at flowers or hear beautiful music or taste something wonderful I feel God's love. God could have made this world purely functional but He didn't He gives us a thousand different reasons to smile just because He loves us. History- like the PP when I think of all of the times I've been helped and shown mercy when I probably deserved justice I get a sense of God's love. Prayer- Speaking to my Heavenly Father often, about what's on my mind- my thoughts, sorrows, joys, and concerns bring a huge sense of connection and love. I find the idea of brainwashing interesting because I see spending time worshiping as reprieve from brainwashing. We are constantly being told that we aren't enough. Its constant and relentless and it's everywhere. We aren't smart enough, pretty enough, educated enough, talented enough, holy enough, healthy enough, kind enough......... and on and on and on. When we worship we are taking a break from all of that. We are saying yes God you are enough and yes God I am enough because I am yours. Then we begin improving our lives from a space of love and plenty instead of self-hate and want. This is why we can't worship too much, we need that rest and peace.
  10. Strawberry cream cheese over here! And I ate it for breakfast.
  11. Learning fun

    Eve

    I wanted to add that I consider the commandment to honor thy mother and thy father to include our first parents. As the "mother of all living" Eve deserves our thanks and honor.
  12. Learning fun

    Eve

    Thanks Bolt! That was the perfectly put :)
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