Soror Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 Naps have became a struggle here w/ my 3yo, ironic and sad however is of course this is the case when my 6 yo is napping quite easily and her nap time is coordinating w/ the baby's naptime (my son just listens to audiobooks or such and doesn't cause any issue). I'm becoming more than a little bit aggravated and unable to think clearly about this right now and it is really ruining the afternoon and my mood. I need her to nap. I need a bit of rest time, even if it isn't actually sleeping where I have a bit of down time. As it is I keep waking up the baby trying to get her to be still and quiet long enough to go to sleep. Our days are actually going pretty good these days (generally speaking of course none of us are perfect) other than this but I don't feel I am making progress in this area. Thoughts or ideas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acorn Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 Both of my kids were DONE with naps by 2 and 2 1/2. Life was much easier once I stopped trying to implement a schedule that works for other children. I would lay down with them and read for awhile, and then offer puzzles or other quiet activities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dahliarw Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 I would forget about nap and focus on teaching your 3yo how to do some quiet time activities for a little bit each afternoon so you can get some downtime. Busy bags or busy boxes might help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted May 20, 2013 Author Share Posted May 20, 2013 Well, my son stopped napping at 2ish but my oldest daughter seems to still benefit from one. My 3 yo does as well when I can get her to be still long enough, I cannot figure out how to do that though. She just fell asleep actually 1.5 hrs after we started quiet time. She and the 6 yo would sometimes do quiet time activities together but without the 6yo that doesn't work so well. It seems I struggled w/ my 6 yo at the same age though but I cannot remember how that was resolved. I'm trying to think but lack of sleep is really fogging up all my thoughts and memories here today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plath Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 My dd1 quit napping before 2 and my dd2- now 2 1/2 year old only naps some days. We do have a quiet reading time in the afternoon and that's when I get my downtime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reign Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 You may have to give up in naps and start a quiet time instead. I napped until kindergarden. One of my girls stopped napping completely at 18 months the other two held out till three. Giving up my youngest's naps has hard and I don't want to. But once I officially got rid of it I was differently less frustrated. Once they have up naps bedtime moved up an hour or so which is a nice side affect. Sorry for typos!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 Oy! I hear you. My 4 yr could still benefit from a nap. However, the amount of time it took for me to get him to sleep was cutting into school time. So now I sometimes a) turn on the TV (I want him to watch Leapfrog anyway), B) put him on my bed with books or other toys along with my dog. He seems to be okay in the room alone with the dog. c) send him outside to play (give him a small bucket filled with water and he's good for awhile) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdventureMoms Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 DD gave up her nap shortly before her twin brothers were born. She was 2. I agree with the suggestions to work on quiet time instead, I never found the naps worth the battle it would have taken to get her down. Yes, sometimes I let her watch a movie. Audiobooks are good too, or any kind of quiet-ish toy. I'm just impressed that you have a napping 6yo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bensonduck Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 At that age, I basically said, you don't have to sleep, but you do need some quiet time. You can lay in this bed with me and the baby and be quiet and still, or you can play quietly in your room until I come and get you. She began choosing her room more and more frequently (and I usually found her asleep when I went to get her). Is your 3year old destructive? Does the 3year old have a place to go play by themselves quietly? Good luck! I know how frustrating it is not being able to rest when you need it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 In our house, you take a "nap" after story time until you finish kindergarten. My younger kids know this from their siblings, so it might be easier for them to accept. "Nap" means "be in bed quietly for a long time" :). Sometimes when they are having a hard time with naps I'll let them lay down in my bed which isn't fancy by any means but they seem to find it a treat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellydon Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 We just quit doing any sort of nap at 2.5. I put them to bed 1.5 hours earlier to make up for lost sleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted May 21, 2013 Author Share Posted May 21, 2013 Sigh. Ya'll are no help at all. Napping is generally not that big of a deal to me except right now that I have a baby. I'm not opposed to some tv in the afternoon and have done that at times but if I do that then the older two want to watch as well and no one ever falls asleep watching tv here. Dd is not super-destructive but certainly active enough to keep me from resting. I've tried just having her in the bedroom, perhaps if I just let her be quiet and not try to force her to lay down that would work better, although not my biggest preference. Oddly enough my 6yo did go through a spell of not napping but seems to like and want them now. She does wake up earlier than my other 2 though. I was having her lay in bed with me and the baby (on the opposite side) she is just very, very persistent making any movement she can to stay awake. I'll be thinking about this. I'd need to set up the bedroom before hand to make sure there was stuff in there to keep her occupied. I just need a short period of rest really, although I want 2 hrs of quiet time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dynamite5 Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 Sigh. Ya'll are no help at all. I just need a short period of rest really, although I want 2 hrs of quiet time. I think people have been very helpful--offering ideas of quiet time, activities that will keep her occupied (books, puzzles, audio books--a great idea, btw!) and also telling you that it's not uncommon for a toddler to no longer nap. It is what it is. You might need to adjust your expectations. I think there are very few families with young children who get two hours of quiet time. That seems to be on the extreme end of the spectrum, I believe. I had a child who napped much later in life than most kids, and I taught my kids how to be in their rooms quietly for a short period of time each day, but I never dreamed of getting two hours of quiet time while I had little ones. Perhaps rethinking how realistic your ideal is will help you come to grips with the reality of having a toddler and a baby. Best of luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted May 21, 2013 Author Share Posted May 21, 2013 My remark was a joking sarcasm, which I tried to show by using an informal tone. I know SWB advocates, as do many on here 2hrs of quiet time, whether or not the kids nap during that time is another manner. We have done that off and on and the kids have napped off/on during that time. Ds quit napping at 2 and as I said dd1 went through a non-napping phase. It seems dd2 is going through this as well. However, previously she has needed a nap and still needs to at times, so I guess we are going through a transition. Unfortunate though is that 6yo has decided to nap now, when previously if they just did quiet time and not nap they could keep each other occupied. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 We had an hour on our own beds. The kids didn't have to sleep but they had to stay on their beds with books, maybe a quiet toy. I don't think you can make a child sleep. :grouphug: I wouldn't even try to have anyone but an infant in bed with me unless really tired or not feeling well. We needed some time apart. If he won't stay for an hour start with a shorter time and increase it incrementally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T'smom Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 If you're desperate for that quiet time, I'd get her some special quiet time toys. Maybe a leapfrog tag pen? Audiobooks? Lacing activities, beads to string? Maybe get some ideas from busy bags. Tell her the deal is......she doesn't have to nap as long as she is quiet and in her bed. (If she shares a room with the 6yo can you find a different place for one of them?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted May 21, 2013 Author Share Posted May 21, 2013 No, I cannot make her sleep, sigh if that was the case life would be much easier. I had her be in the bed as it worked better and more consistently. If I just had her try and lay in the other bed she just kept getting up, which then I'd have to get up and bother the baby, who likes to nurse for usually an hr straight at least during quiet time. So, I don't even get real rest but that half asleep time of about 15-20 min, which is generally enough to keep mommy nice and sane :) Oh, and having the 3yo and 6yo in the same room has complicated the issue since I moved them together. I could let her use the Kindle, which would work but then keep the 6 yo awake for her turn. I have been letting the 6yo nap in my bed as well, on the other side(I've got a king size). I need to think about what else would keep her occupied during the first part of quiet time so I could rest a bit and nurse the baby without having to do serious policing. I appreciate the ideas as it is helping me brainstorm how to get everyone the rest they need and keep everyone safe as well w/out using methods that I find unacceptable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garddwr Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 No help here. My kids stop napping before age 3, but I do put them to bed early. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 It's almost summer, is there any chance of hiring a mothers helper? Any possiblity of moving the nap time to when your dh gets home or him running in for lunch and allowing you a short rest time? :grouphug: Remember this too shall pass and find time to rest up when ever possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bensonduck Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 What about a sleeping bag in your room for the 6 year old ("this is a special place for those who want to nap") and the 3 year old with quiet stuff in the 3 & 6 year olds' room by herself? my dd liked to fill a small shoebox with treasures and play with that on her bed. The treasures were things like various Playmobil and Lego people and animals, pretty stones, shoelaces, bits of crumpled aluminum foil, bead necklaces, small beanbags, etc. the room is often a mess after quiet time but she is pretty good about entertaining herself and being quiet. Oh! And you may want to let your daughter know she may change clothing during quiet time if she wants. Sometimes what is a comfortable temp for me is not ok for my kids and if they know they can change to get more comfortable, they may be able to settle down easier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murmer Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 I did not read the other posts...but I read to my children before nap time and then I rock my hard to napper until he is asleep. It has really helped my 3 almost 4 year old take a nap more often. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 What is GD/Positive parenting? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted May 21, 2013 Author Share Posted May 21, 2013 Gentle Discipline/Positive parenting- non punitive/punishment etc. For awhile I had moved naptime to when daddy got home but then it seemed things were hectic and that was erratic and troublesome. Bensonduck I like your ideas I think I can likely make a variation of that work in some way. Today we did end up waiting until dh got home and I think we all got a short nap. Everyone is awake now, but the girls are still doing quiet time in their room. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellydon Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 I liked it better when no one napped because everyone went to bed earlier and I had my evenings back. When my toddlers' napped, they went to bed at 10. When they quit napping, they were in bed at 7:30-8:00 and slept until 8 the next morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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