Moxie Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 I wonder if I would have a better relationship with my children if I wasn't their teacher? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 Sometimes I wonder that, but then I remind myself of how much worse I was when we were all in school. :) I'd just trade problems for new problems- homework, friends, teachers, etc. But, I don't think homeschooling is for everyone and school works for a lot of families. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moxie Posted May 6, 2013 Author Share Posted May 6, 2013 Problem is, school would not be a good fit for one of my children. So I'm stuck homeschooling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 Mine were in ps for years. For us, it was not better. Is it worth working out the ps kinks for the one child who is not a good fit? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 I definitely have a better relationship with my kids when I step out of the teacher mode. I try really hard not to be their teacher, in the typical sense of the word. This doesn't mean that they don't learn or that I don't teach, but I'm not "their teacher." This dynamics just doesn't work for our family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 I've wondered that for years. Too late now. I'm going to quit wondering. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 In my case, no, I don't think so. I am their guide and teacher in this world whether we are looking at formal schoolwork or not. I treat them the same way no matter what we are doing on our schedule - housework, fun, or schoolwork. We have bumps in our relationship whether we are working on schoolwork or not. We've had some tough times in school but that was solved by finding an approach and materials that fit better. I don't think a teacher elsewhere would have the time to do that - esp. if they have a classroom full of children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moxie Posted May 6, 2013 Author Share Posted May 6, 2013 I wonder about the amount of time we're together. Maybe we would all get along better if we weren't together 24/7?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 I wonder about the amount of time we're together. Maybe we would all get along better if we weren't together 24/7?? You have young children. I am no longer with my kids 24/7. Both my kids are old enough to be left alone at times. Both have friends and activities outside the home. Every night I go to the Y and do my own thing while the kids do theirs. And of course other days we are apart even more. Perhaps you might think of scheduling some time to be alone or with your husband without the kids? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 I wonder about the amount of time we're together. Maybe we would all get along better if we weren't together 24/7?? :grouphug: first of all. Why are you with them 24/7? I think it's good for a mom's mental health to schedule time to herself. The ol' Oxygen Mask thing, y'know? So whether it's a rest time, a couple of hours to go work out/swim/walk, a (however brief) time out with Hubby, a couple hours with girlfriends--SOMETHING, try hard to take care of yourself and catch a break. And honestly, I think sometimes kids need a break from mom, esp an intense mom who is very focused on her kiddos--not saying you are "intense," but ime, many homeschool moms are quite invested in their kids, and sometimes they all need space. Heck, we all need space, homeschooling or not... ITA with Jean, that you will always be a teacher--it's part of being a mom. If you weren't teaching academics, you'd be teaching how to do chores, or take a picture, or sew, or drive, or...whatever. You are wise to know the relationship is important, and certain things can stretch and stress it, but honestly, I don't know why stepping into the academic teaching role is any different from other stuff a mom does to engage her kids. Hang in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dbmamaz Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 i agree with genscharm - 'teacher mode' where you expect the kids to always do what you say can mess with your relationship. Bringing more joy in to your day and less punishment will probably improve your relationship. admitting when you are wrong and being gentle with them when they are wrong . . . asking for input . . . working with the kids you have instead of expecting them to act like you think kids 'should' act . . . making sure they get plenty of sleep, exercise, healthy food . . . these things improve a relationship Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 Maybe. Maybe not. My DS17 in public school complains that he gets less of my attention because by the time he gets home, we are both tired. He has 2-4 hours of homework every night plus activities and feels like there just isn't time to relax and talk until the weekend. I do have a closer relationship with DD11 because she is around all the time since we homeschool. We don't bump heads much since she inherited DH's easy going personality. For us, having more time together helps with the communication flow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted May 7, 2013 Share Posted May 7, 2013 Mine have been in PS and now homeschool. I believe our relationship is better now that they are home. Do we get annoyed with each other? Yep. We sure do, but we also have more time to enjoy each other, as well. We didn't get as much "enjoy each other" time when they were in school because everyone was tired and grumpy by the time they got home, then it was march, march, march to get supper/dishes/reading (I didn't allow much for homework), bath, bed early to get up early and do it all over again the next day. It seemed like we were stuck in the "annoy each other" cycle, then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Kate Posted May 7, 2013 Share Posted May 7, 2013 I have a son who has always been strong willed. I homeschooled him from K - 2nd and he has been attending school for third. Our relationship didn't change a bit when I stopped being his teacher. Actually, I think it may have become more difficult because I'm not able to spend as much time with him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted May 7, 2013 Share Posted May 7, 2013 I wonder about the amount of time we're together. Maybe we would all get along better if we weren't together 24/7?? 24/7? Don't you hide in your bedroom with chocolate like normal people do? :p (I don't know how I'd do this if we weren't all introverts.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
briansmama Posted May 7, 2013 Share Posted May 7, 2013 :grouphug: first of all. Why are you with them 24/7? I think it's good for a mom's mental health to schedule time to herself. The ol' Oxygen Mask thing, y'know? So whether it's a rest time, a couple of hours to go work out/swim/walk, a (however brief) time out with Hubby, a couple hours with girlfriends--SOMETHING, try hard to take care of yourself and catch a break. And honestly, I think sometimes kids need a break from mom, esp an intense mom who is very focused on her kiddos--not saying you are "intense," but ime, many homeschool moms are quite invested in their kids, and sometimes they all need space. Heck, we all need space, homeschooling or not... ITA with Jean, that you will always be a teacher--it's part of being a mom. If you weren't teaching academics, you'd be teaching how to do chores, or take a picture, or sew, or drive, or...whatever. You are wise to know the relationship is important, and certain things can stretch and stress it, but honestly, I don't know why stepping into the academic teaching role is any different from other stuff a mom does to engage her kids. Hang in there. I completely agree with this. I also love knowing that I'm asking them to do meaningful work, whether it's helping to run a household, read a chapter of history, learn Latin, practice piano, make lunch...I would have a very difficult time enforcing endless worksheets and doing homework battles. I don't consider myself my dc teacher. I'm their mom :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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