Could you please look at my 12yo's schedule?

[Cosmos]

This isn't about school work per se, but more about the day as a whole. He doesn't feel he has enough free time, and I guess I agree. We have a pretty set routine, so it's easy enough to see where the time goes. His school load is not heavy compared to many, so it seems like he should have more free time than he does. Where is it the time going?

 

His awake time is from 7am-9pm = 14 hours.

 

This is his non-free time --

 

2 hours = meals (30 minutes each for breakfast and lunch, 1 hour for dinner and clean up)

5 hours = school and music practice

3 hours = exercise/gym, including transportation time

1 hour = chores

11 hours total

 

That should leave 3 hours of free time. But it doesn't exactly. Transition times eat up some of it.

 

In schedule form:

 

7:00-7:30 Get up, get dressed, eat breakfast

7:30-8:30 Chores, including watching CNN Student News

8:30-10:00 Music practice (40 minutes) and exercise (at least 20-30)

10:00-1:45 School with 30 minute lunch break

1:45-4:15 (roughly) Go to the gym for exercise, includes transportation time

4:15-7:00 Free time, but he needs to do one hour of school work during this time

7:00-8:00 Dinner and clean up

8:00-9:00 Family time, games, reading, etc.

 

(Once a week he has a music lesson and art class in the afternoon instead of going to the gym.)

 

What happens is that we get home from the gym, and he wants to eat a snack, read for a little bit. Maybe around 5 or 5:15 he starts his last hour of school work. Then when he finishes he has less than an hour of "free time" before dinner. At least that's how it feels to him.

 

On the one hand, I don't think most kids his age have a ton of free time. He doesn't do a sport, but the time at the gym is about what other kids spend at swim practice or whatever.

 

On the other hand, I have deliberately kept his school load lighter just so that he would have lots of free time, and yet it doesn't seem to be there. As we increase his workload in the next few years, the free time is going to disappear entirely! How can we be doing just 4.25 hours of school and STILL not have a lot of free time.

 

I know the "gym time" is probably what seems the obvious problem. We did join a gym last November, and I know that block of time is where he used to have a lot more free time. But he wasn't getting nearly enough exercise either. He is not interested in joining a sport, and that would take just as much time anyway. The gym has been great for both of us, but it does take a huge chunk of time out of the day. 15 minutes there and back, plus time in the locker room and showers, makes an hour of exercise take 2.5 hours out of the day.

 

I suggested to him that I could post here to see what other people say. Advice? Feedback?

[8filltheheart]

I would see not starting academic work until 10 as a huge problem. Can you switch watching the news to watch either during lunch or while he eats his snack after gym? Or music practice to after gym? I would try to get all seat work done prior to gym.

[Freckles]

I agree his "free time" is being used at the gym. I'm curious why he needs to do an hour of school in the evening? I still consider 12 year olds as children who need time to day dream, explore, ride bikes, read comics, etc... the time will not be wasted IMHO.

[regentrude]

I see two big problems with the schedule: starting school so late in the day, and leaving school work for late afternoon after gym.

 

If you started school at 8am, he could get his school work done before going to the gym.

After vigorous exercise, my son is tired and hungry - that would not be a good time to complete school work.

I would move gym to a later point in the day and aim to get school done by 2pm. he could then practice music, do chores and watch student news in the late afternoon.

We schedule in order of priority and like to begin the school day with the tasks that require the most alertness and concentration.

[Luckymama]

If dd were in school her schedule would look like this (her siblings were in school at this age):

 

6:45 Get up and ready, eat breakfast, pack lunch

7:30 drive to school

7:55-2:55 school

3:15 get home, have snack, do homework

4:35 drive to ballet Tuesday, Thursday, Friday

6:50 home from ballet (Tuesday and Thursday; Friday is 7:50) eat dinner, chores

7:45 finish homework (if needed), otherwise "free time" to read or play games, check backpack, plan next day's lunch

9:00 lights out

 

so hardly any free time

 

Her schedule now

 

8:00 get up, breakfast, chores

9:00-12:00ish school

12:00-1:00ish (usually 45-60 minutes) lunch break for eating, cleaning up, then screen time (she plays Minecraft)

 

Tuesday/Thursday/Friday

1:00-3:30 finish school

3:30-4:35 break, snack, get ready for ballet

4:35-6:50 at ballet, including driving (7:50 Friday)

6:50-7:45 dinner, chores, shower

7:45-9:00 free time to read, play, etc

9:00 get ready for bed

9:30 lights out

 

Monday/Wednesday from Late August-late January

1:00-4:00 finish school

4:00-5:45 free time, heavy snack

5:45-7:45 Lego League team practice, including driving

7:45-9:00 dinner, chores, free time

9:30 lights out

 

Monday/Wednesday February-late August

1:00-4:00 finish school

4:00-6:30 free time (usually outside starting in April)

6:30 dinner, chores

7:15-9:00 free time

9:30 lights out

 

[Cosmos]

Thank you all for your replies. My ds and I have been reading them over. I appreciate the opportunity for him to hear other parents' input!

 

I agree his "free time" is being used at the gym. I'm curious why he needs to do an hour of school in the evening? I still consider 12 year olds as children who need time to day dream, explore, ride bikes, read comics, etc... the time will not be wasted IMHO.

 

 

Yes, I agree free time is important. That is why his school load is light compared to many here. We are currently doing 4.25 hours, which is a lot less than so many people I've read about here. But, as others have pointed out, we start very late in the day, which means we only get in 3.25 before we go off to the gym. And that's just not enough.

[Cosmos]

I would see not starting academic work until 10 as a huge problem. Can you switch watching the news to watch either during lunch or while he eats his snack after gym? Or music practice to after gym? I would try to get all seat work done prior to gym.

 

 

Yes, I would like that too!

 

I see two big problems with the schedule: starting school so late in the day, and leaving school work for late afternoon after gym.

 

Of course these two are connected. LOL

 

You are both correct, of course. We could move things around to different times, and the way we are doing it right now is not typical. In fact up until this year we have always started at 8 or 8:30. But he is slow to wake up and was not alert at that time (and getting worse the past couple of years). In September and October, he was "starting" school at 8:30 but by 10:00 would have very little done. We decided to try doing chores and music and some exercise first. The music requires less concentration (or at least a different kind) and the exercise helps wake him up. So that's why we switched it around. If anyone has other advice for getting "alert" in the morning I would love to hear it.

 

If you started school at 8am' date=' he could get his school work done before going to the gym.

After vigorous exercise, my son is tired and hungry - that would not be a good time to complete school work.

I would move gym to a later point in the day and aim to get school done by 2pm. he could then practice music, do chores and watch student news in the late afternoon.[/quote']

 

We can't move going to the gym later because of the pool schedule. Otherwise, that would be a great solution!

 

He would actually rather do school work in the afternoon than music and chores. Well, he would rather do neither. Which is how I come back to the question of the number of hours. Setting aside the question of when he does what, is this about right for time allocation or is it way off?

 

2 hours = meals (30 minutes each for breakfast and lunch, 1 hour for dinner and clean up)

5 hours = school and music practice

3 hours = exercise/gym, including transportation time

1 hour = chores

3 hours = free time (but some is used in transitions)

14 hours total awake time

 

Not saying that the schedule itself is irrelevant. Of course it is relevant, and there can be a psychological factor of finishing before XYZ happens. I am listening to what you guys are saying. But for us I do think it has been of huge benefit to swap an hour of school with music/exercise first, so we're taking advantage of the flexibility of homeschooling to do that. Doing music in the afternoon was what he was doing earlier this fall, *along with* schoolwork he hadn't finished because he was too sleepy in the morning.

 

I think it is adding the gym time in that has caused the big pinch. And yet, I don't know how someone can get enough exercise or do sports or other activities without that pinch happening. Our system is working "okay" right now, but that five hours of school is going to have to increase and I'm worried about what happens then.

[Cosmos]

Ds said that he wants to try starting school at 9, gaining back an hour of school. He plans to do it by (1) getting up on time, (2) doing his chores efficiently and (3) cutting out the morning exercise.

 

7:00-7:30 get up, get dressed, breakfast

7:30-8:15 chores and news

8:15-9:00 music and five minutes of exercise

9:00 start school

 

To be honest, this is not much different from what we've done at times in the past. But because he decided to try it for his own benefit, I am hopeful that he will be successful. I do NOT like dragging and prodding someone through their chores. I have not been doing that these past months, and I don't plan to go back to it again. If he wants his hour back, he's going to have to get himself going!

 

So, thank you, ladies, for throwing a little wisdom our way! I hope it works.

[Melissa B]

Does he have his entire weekend free? If he wants an extra hour each day cut one hour of school off each day and add school on Saturdays. As the kids get older I have had to cut back on their chores. The younger ones do more chores during the week, the elder two do most of theirs on the weekend. As an aside, my kids only sleep 8 hours so that gives two more hours per day already. I don't really know how one would compensate for needing an extra two hours of sleep daily. (And I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that.) That would be hard for us.

[AimeeM]

Is there a reason gym needs to happen every day?

Can you move chores to the evenings and CNN to watch during lunch? Or split the chores so that they fit in with another "break" or meal (do one chore after breakfast, one chore after lunch, one chore after dinner), without adding any real time?

I agree that it doesn't sound like he has much in the way of free time.

[Cosmos]

Does he have his entire weekend free? If he wants an extra hour each day cut one hour of school off each day and add school on Saturdays. As the kids get older I have had to cut back on their chores. The younger ones do more chores during the week, the elder two do most of theirs on the weekend. As an aside, my kids only sleep 8 hours so that gives two more hours per day already. I don't really know how one would compensate for needing an extra two hours of sleep daily. (And I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that.) That would be hard for us.

 

 

Oh, yes. Sleep! I was wondering about that. He has always seemed to need a lot of sleep, and when I see others' schedules it seems they must be getting less sleep than he does. But need it he does. He could honestly use a little more than 10. But how?

 

Weekend is a good point and probably where some of the extra will have to go in the next few years.

[Cosmos]

Is there a reason gym needs to happen every day?

 

 

It's four times a week. Once a week he does art/music lessons instead, and he doesn't go on the weekend. I was thinking one No-gym day would be nice. A nice long afternoon at home.

 

Can you move chores to the evenings and CNN to watch during lunch? Or split the chores so that they fit in with another "break" or meal (do one chore after breakfast, one chore after lunch, one chore after dinner), without adding any real time?

 

Maybe. Although he's very distractable so I think things wouldn't get done. The chores probably sound more onerous than they really are -- make bed, brush teeth and hair, tidy room, unload dishwasher, take out trash, feed the cat, plus the 15 minutes for news. He's just poky about doing it. An hour for that much? He's decided he's going to speed up his chores to gain time. (GOSH, do you think I've ever suggested that tactic before? :lol:)

[regentrude]

Setting aside the question of when he does what, is this about right for time allocation or is it way off?

 

2 hours = meals (30 minutes each for breakfast and lunch, 1 hour for dinner and clean up)

5 hours = school and music practice

3 hours = exercise/gym, including transportation time

1 hour = chores

3 hours = free time (but some is used in transitions)

14 hours total awake time

 

 

Of course every family's priorities are different - but to me, 3 hours daily for sports compared to 5 hours for school+music is a disproportionately large amount.

I would also question the 2 hours for meals. I can't imagine what you are doing with 30 minutes for breakfast and a full hour for dinner. I am not saying you should rush a meal, but even a fancy meal with multiple courses lasts barely more than an hour in our family. Are you sure these times are realistic?

One hour for chores: how much work is there to do in your house? *I* do not have an hour of house work every day.

 

I am a big believer in free time. My 13 y/o is required to do 5 hours of school work every day. He has to spend some time on exercise daily; twice a week 2 hours TKD, once a riding lesson - walking and biking on his own on the other weekdays, family hike on weekends. I don't think my kids have to spend more than 15-20 minutes helping in the household - there really is not that much to do (unless DD cooks and bakes)

[Rosyl]

I think that the dinner time probably also includes clean up, but my kids take a long time to eat.

 

I actually cut my sons chores for the reason of more free time and more time for school. And when I say cut, I don't mean he does nothing; just that he does less. (OP, your son might really like that idea lol)

 

We go the gym 2 times a week in the morning. He and I do water aerobics, sometimes he helps with the toddler swim lessons and then he will free swim. My son actually does better getting his school done in a straight shot in the afternoon after exercise.

 

ETA some of it is mindset. I printed off a block schedule and had him fill in what he had to do each day. The I had him color everything that was work red and everything that was fun green. There was a lot more green than expected. I also had him color blue the things we have to do like eat was colored blue, but clean up red. It gave him a better visual of the reality. A refrain here "It is also a reality that life isn't a bowl of cherries and work is necessary for survival and daily living....so be happy with what you have and not what you have not, dude." (my apologies for whipping out my mom "voice")

[redsquirrel]

I know how it feels. My son is very involved in ballet. He has four 90 min classes a week, plus choir, plus friends etc.

 

Looking at your schedule (and yours is a lot like ours) I suggest you def. start school earlier with a goal of getting as much done as possible during the day. Watch student news while eating lunch, not while doing chores. Watching while doing chores slows you down. Do school work while eating breakfast...perfect time to do history reading. Move one gym day to saturday morning or some time on the weekend. Depending on how long the drive is, he can also do some school on his way to and from the gym. Or, move gym time to later in the day. No gym unless a certain amount of school has been done. Do you have a weekly list of assignments?

 

We also do some stuff to make time that you might not like. For example, on school days I make lunch and breakfast for the kids. I know I have friends who HATE that I do this. But, my goal is to get the work done. I don't want them taking time away from school to prepare meals. It is not trouble for me to put some water to boil to make ravioli and pour some jar sauce on there and tell them to come and get it. They only need 15 mins for lunch and they watch the news while they eat. Clothes for the next day are put out the night before. It doesn't take but a moment to get dressed because decisions have been made (and socks found).

 

My 12 (about to be 13) year old son is in his room with his teeth brushed by 8-8:30pm. He is not in bed, just in his room. If he has reading for the next day, it happens then (unless he squeezes it in before ballet) or he can watch Dr who on is itouch, lol. But, lights are out by 9:30pm. We don't really have 'family time' after dinner. The kids go to their rooms and the adults have their evenings free. Weekend daytime is really our family time. He does sometime have to make up a missed lesson on the weekend, but that is usually only due to a performance.

 

My son gets 5-6 hours of school in every day, including 2 instruments, and still manages a heavy ballet commitment. He even manages to be in a couple community musicals a year.

 

Now, ask me how we do this next year when he goes from 4 classes a week to 5.

[Julie Smith]

It sounds like he likes to not make efficient use of his time.

 

One thing you can do is get the audio book, "Cheaper by the Dozen" and listen to it during breakfast or lunch. One of the themes of the novel is making efficient use of your time to leave you with more time for things you want to do.

[misty.warden]

It sounds like he likes to not make efficient [sp] use of his time.

 

 

 

This. Many kids have activities that take up blocks of time almost on par with school hours and that happens in ps as well. Kids must learn that they must use the time wisely or it bleeds into the free time you would have if you were done. If your ds is really enthusiastic about his gym/pool time I don't think it's a bad thing how many hours it takes up, however activities like that count as "free" time IMO.

[Julie Smith]

7:00-7:30 Get up, get dressed, eat breakfast

7:30-8:30 Chores, including watching CNN Student News

8:30-10:00 Music practice (40 minutes) and exercise (at least 20-30)

10:00-1:45 School with 30 minute lunch break

1:45-4:15 (roughly) Go to the gym for exercise, includes transportation time

4:15-7:00 Free time, but he needs to do one hour of school work during this time

7:00-8:00 Dinner and clean up

8:00-9:00 Family time, games, reading, etc.

 

 

 

I'm thinking he might need some guidance of how to efficiently use his time. Perhaps the following schedule would work better for him?

 

7:00-7:30 Get up, get dressed, eat breakfast (If he isn't able to do this in a timely matter I would stand watch over him till he is able to do it efficicently)

 

7:30-7:40 Download a newcast program on an iPod or MP3 player. I'm guessing that there is something like CNN Student News that one can listen to instead of watch. Supervise him to ensure he doesn't get distracted and just waste time checking things online. Get ready to go outside.

 

7:40-8:10 Go for a walk while listening to his newscast. This will wake him up and get him going. It also lets him to two things at once. Listen to his news and get his morning exercise done.

 

8:10-8:15 Take off outside stuff while telling you about what he listened to.

 

8:15-8:45 Practice his instrument

 

8:45-12:15 Three and a half hours of school

 

12:15-12:45 Eat lunch while visiting and talking with you, OR listen to and audio book while eating lunch.

 

12:45-1:00 Do Chores. (Supervise to make sure he is doing them efficiently.)

 

1:00-1:45 More School

 

For me personally I would not go to the gym as often. Can you come up with other physical activities to do instead. Right now you go to the gym 4 times a week. Other activities that can be done without commute time include bike riding and training for a couch to 5K. The days you don't go to the gym will leave him with more free time.

 

As it is, with the reworking of his morning you are getting in 4 hours and 15 minutes of school. Which is more then he is currently accomplishing.

[Julie Smith]

Double Post. It's not my fault, really it isn't.

 

(I did get an internal error )

[Woodland Mist Academy]

But he wasn't getting nearly enough exercise either. He is not interested in joining a sport, and that would take just as much time anyway. The gym has been great for both of us, but it does take a huge chunk of time out of the day. 15 minutes there and back, plus time in the locker room and showers, makes an hour of exercise take 2.5 hours out of the day.

 

 

So this is not just exercise. This also includes hygiene (shower).

 

1/2 hour driving time could be news time, audiobook time, conversation time, or free time to let thoughts wander, contemplate life, etc

1 hour swim

1 hygiene/locker etc

 

Maybe those aren't the exact times, but I just want to point out that part of the gym time needs to be done anyway--exercise and showering. Even the 1/2 drive can be used wisely. I don't see a valid reason to cut out the gym if he enjoys it. (I go to the gym in the winter, and we still do 6-7 hours of school a day.)

[regentrude]

15 minutes there and back, plus time in the locker room and showers, makes an hour of exercise take 2.5 hours out of the day.

 

The 30 minutes in the car can be put to good use listening to news or audiobooks. But why on Earth does he need one hour in the locker room to shower and change?

I need 15 minutes in the morning to get showered, hair washed and dried, dressed for work. What can he be doing there for this long?

[8filltheheart]

Ds said that he wants to try starting school at 9, gaining back an hour of school. He plans to do it by (1) getting up on time, (2) doing his chores efficiently and (3) cutting out the morning exercise.

 

7:00-7:30 get up, get dressed, breakfast

7:30-8:15 chores and news

8:15-9:00 music and five minutes of exercise

9:00 start school

 

To be honest, this is not much different from what we've done at times in the past. But because he decided to try it for his own benefit, I am hopeful that he will be successful. I do NOT like dragging and prodding someone through their chores. I have not been doing that these past months, and I don't plan to go back to it again. If he wants his hour back, he's going to have to get himself going!

 

So, thank you, ladies, for throwing a little wisdom our way! I hope it works.

 

I was going to respond to your other post about choosing to start late bc of how he functions. I'll combine those thoughts with this one. I don't drag or prod my kids once they reach a certain age......usually around age 8 or 9. After that, I tend to let them live with the natural consequences of their decisions. So, if they want to have a relaxing morning and not jump out of bed, then working until bedtime is what they might have to do. It means I will control when they do what subjects bc I am not going to be impacted by those decisions bc my nights will not be spent doing school bc they chose to be slow in the morning.

 

It sounds like you are realizing this on your own. The inefficiency is his issue and he needs to recognize his own ability to control his free time by the pace and focus he deliberately chooses.

 

You might assist him by writing down his start and stop times for various things so that he can start to internally gauge how he is using his time.

 

Fwiw, by age 12 my kids have often started getting up at 5 so they can be finished really early in the day and get a lot accomplished while our house is quiet. They get mad at themselves when they sleep in. ;)

[Alice]

You’ve gotten lots of good advice. The whole issue of free time reminded me of an article a few years ago about women today and free time. I can’t remember the source or I’d site it. The gist of the article was that most women today feel like they have very little free time. Then they had this guy come in who is an efficiency expert and he had them block out all their time in hours and then looked over the schedule. The biggest difference was perspective. The guy would say “20 minutes putting on makeup is free timeâ€, “exercise is free timeâ€, “emailing (non work related ) is free timeâ€. Basically anything that wasn’t absolutely required for your job or for taking care of a family member was free time. It’s just about how you choose to use it. The women saw all those things as necessary so they felt like they had no margin. He tried to get them to see that the choices they made were effecting how much time they had to do other things. So if they wanted more time to do _________ they had to cut it out of somewhere else. If they weren’t willing to cut it out it meant that __________ wasn’t as important to them as they said it was.

 

It sounds harsh but it was a really interesting article.

 

One thing I got from it was to show my son that the choices he makes often effect his free time. So he might take 15 minutes to brush his teeth because he’s reading while he does it. That’s fine, I read while I brush my teeth. But that time comes out of his “free time†later and not out of school. So if he gets the things he has to do done more efficiently than he has more time to do the things he says he wants to do. I think the OP said this in her first post when she said her son likes to come home from the gym, snack and read a little before starting school but then feels that he has very little free time before dinner. He needs to see that the time he is snacking and reading is free time, he’s choosing how to spend it.

[Cosmos]

Of course every family's priorities are different - but to me, 3 hours daily for sports compared to 5 hours for school+music is a disproportionately large amount.

I would also question the 2 hours for meals. I can't imagine what you are doing with 30 minutes for breakfast and a full hour for dinner. I am not saying you should rush a meal, but even a fancy meal with multiple courses lasts barely more than an hour in our family. Are you sure these times are realistic?

 

Yes, the meal times for sure are accurate. We eat at about the same time every day. I don't know. Maybe we are just slow? The 30 minutes for breakfast includes getting up, getting dressed, and dragging himself to the kitchen. He isn't even really talking until 7:15. I can't see him taking less time there.

 

As for dinner, the hour includes clean up time. It's about 40 minutes for dinner and then the rest for cleaning up. We rotate washing, drying, and sweeping. If it's his week to sweep, he would finish earlier.

 

One hour for chores: how much work is there to do in your house? *I* do not have an hour of house work every day.

 

It's just basic stuff for the most part. Not even all chores, just required stuff that isn't school, music, or exercise. He makes his bed, brushes teeth and hair and tidies his room. Maybe 10 minutes for that stuff. Then unloading the dishwasher, feeding the cat, taking out the trash, and getting his gym bag ready. Maybe 20 minutes for that. Right after breakfast is when we watch the news show (10 minutes). So, 40 minutes altogether if he works efficiently.

[Cosmos]

I know how it feels. My son is very involved in ballet. He has four 90 min classes a week, plus choir, plus friends etc.

 

Looking at your schedule (and yours is a lot like ours) I suggest you def. start school earlier with a goal of getting as much done as possible during the day. Watch student news while eating lunch, not while doing chores. Watching while doing chores slows you down. Do school work while eating breakfast...perfect time to do history reading. Move one gym day to saturday morning or some time on the weekend. Depending on how long the drive is, he can also do some school on his way to and from the gym. Or, move gym time to later in the day. No gym unless a certain amount of school has been done. Do you have a weekly list of assignments?

 

Just to clarify a couple of things. We watch the news right after breakfast, before doing chores. It's just a 10 minute show so, while we could cut it/ move it/ etc. as many have suggested, it's still only ten minutes of time.

 

We also do some stuff to make time that you might not like. For example, on school days I make lunch and breakfast for the kids. I know I have friends who HATE that I do this. But, my goal is to get the work done. I don't want them taking time away from school to prepare meals. It is not trouble for me to put some water to boil to make ravioli and pour some jar sauce on there and tell them to come and get it. They only need 15 mins for lunch and they watch the news while they eat. Clothes for the next day are put out the night before. It doesn't take but a moment to get dressed because decisions have been made (and socks found).

 

I actually do make breakfast and lunch. I get it on the table by 7. He usually is downstairs by 7:10 and eats until about 7:30. He really does take 30 minutes to eat lunch. I know he eats slower than some. If he reads while eating, it's even slower.

 

My son gets 5-6 hours of school in every day, including 2 instruments, and still manages a heavy ballet commitment. He even manages to be in a couple community musicals a year.

 

Now, ask me how we do this next year when he goes from 4 classes a week to 5.

 

 

That's wonderful you can do that, really. I posted in part because I know many kids do MUCH more than he does. I would like to figure out their secret.

[Cosmos]

It sounds like he likes to not make efficient use of his time.

 

One thing you can do is get the audio book, "Cheaper by the Dozen" and listen to it during breakfast or lunch. One of the themes of the novel is making efficient use of your time to leave you with more time for things you want to do.

 

 

We've read it many times. ;)

[Cosmos]

Thanks, Julie. I know it takes time to go over someone else's stuff, and I appreciate your taking the time to do it.

 

I'm thinking he might need some guidance of how to efficiently use his time. Perhaps the following schedule would work better for him?

 

7:00-7:30 Get up, get dressed, eat breakfast (If he isn't able to do this in a timely matter I would stand watch over him

till he is able to do it efficicently)

 

This he's already doing, totally reliably.

 

7:30-7:40 Download a newcast program on an iPod or MP3 player. I'm guessing that there is something like CNN Student News that one can listen to instead of watch. Supervise him to ensure he doesn't get distracted and just waste time checking things online. Get ready to go outside.

 

The news we watch is only 10 minutes long. It takes a minute or two to load, but we're generally done watching it by 7:45.

 

7:40-8:10 Go for a walk while listening to his newscast. This will wake him up and get him going. It also lets him to two things at once. Listen to his news and get his morning exercise done.

 

8:10-8:15 Take off outside stuff while telling you about what he listened to.

 

8:15-8:45 Practice his instrument

 

8:45-12:15 Three and a half hours of school

 

12:15-12:45 Eat lunch while visiting and talking with you, OR listen to and audio book while eating lunch.

 

12:45-1:00 Do Chores. (Supervise to make sure he is doing them efficiently.)

 

1:00-1:45 More School

 

 

He has decided to try going without the morning exercise. I know exercise helps his concentration, but I'm not sure if it has to be exercise right before school or just exercise in general.

 

 

For me personally I would not go to the gym as often. Can you come up with other physical activities to do instead. Right now you go to the gym 4 times a week. Other activities that can be done without commute time include bike riding and training for a couch to 5K. The days you don't go to the gym will leave him with more free time.

 

That's quite true. We both enjoy exercising at the gym vs. at home but there is a lot of overhead. There are additional benefits besides the exercise, though -- community, some social time, putting us in town to be able to visit the library, etc.

[swellmomma]

I would cut back his gym time, either reduce the number of days or the length of time there. My kids are in sports/extracurriculars, but we only have 2 really long days (Tuesday and Thursday, we head out the door at 430pm to go to extracurrics and don't get home until 9-10pm depending on the night), Fridays we are out the door 230-530, Saturday am's 830-1230. Otherwise they have no extracurrics on Sundays, Mondays or Wednesdays(though ds14 is joining the jr fire department which meets every 1st and 3rd wednesday).

 

Even with their online classes, sports/extracurrics, ds14 working and school work I am still finding the kids have ample freetime. Having those days of not needing to be anywhere and not having outsources classes for the teens on those days(their online classes are on Tuesdays and Thursdays this coming term, ds9 is wednesday am).

 

I would give up 1-2 of those gym days to allow for more freetime, or cut your gym time shorter so that he has time for a snack, or he can eat it in the car on the way home etc.

 

Also why does he exercise for 20-30 minutes in the am if he is heading to the gym for 3 hours? WHy not start school earlier, do music practice after the gym and then he has the rest of the time as freetime. You also seem to be missing 30 minutes...you say he does music and exercise from 830-10am, but only list 40 minutes of music and 20-30 minutes for exercise, so where does the other 20-30 minutes go? is it just wasted some how? By getting rid of the am exercise and that missing 20-30 minutes, he could start school by 910am, and have gained 50 minutes for school work, meaning no need to do an hour in the evening after the gym when he is likely exhausted and his brain would not be on studies any way.

[Cosmos]

So this is not just exercise. This also includes hygiene (shower).

 

1/2 hour driving time could be news time, audiobook time, conversation time, or free time to let thoughts wander, contemplate life, etc

1 hour swim

1 hygiene/locker etc

 

Maybe those aren't the exact times, but I just want to point out that part of the gym time needs to be done anyway--exercise and showering. Even the 1/2 drive can be used wisely. I don't see a valid reason to cut out the gym if he enjoys it. (I go to the gym in the winter, and we still do 6-7 hours of school a day.)

 

Yes, it is more than just exercise. And yes, some of it needs to be done anyway. We actually walk rather than drive, and it is a fun part of our day. I love the gym actually. And he does too. This is the first time he's been enthusiastic about exercise. And since it's so close to home, he has the ability to finish up quicker and go home without me. He hasn't chosen to do that so far. So it's really good in many ways, but it's also that big huge block of time.

[quark]

I have been hesitating to post because I have a slightly younger kid but I have often followed your posts Cosmos and now I'll just add some thoughts because I see a lot of similarities between our boys. Mine does better with more sleep as well and also takes a long time to eat and also watches CNN Student News every day. We start school at 9am-ish and finish by 5pm, all in, including an average of 4 subjects a day, music practice, an hour's walk, 30 mins on treadmill and his 10-15 minutes of pushups/ strength-training at home. This gives him a good 5 hours of completely free time every weekday (except for Weds) and the weekends off as well (he wakes up late on weekends). He sleeps at 10pm+, wakes up at 8.30am or so. I know it may sound crazy but I was wondering if it would work to workout at home most days instead of going to the gym? We have saved a ton of money that way...savings that went towards purchasing the treadmill (a $300 older model) and bicycles.

 

One of the ways I've managed to give him the free time (and he REALLY needs that because he is a "thinker" and will get frustrated if he doesn't have enough time to think) is, like pps have suggested, to double up school time with meal times. So he watches Student News while having breakfast (and also watches a TeachCo lecture or listens to audiobooks because he eats slowly), watches math lectures with lunch, history lectures with his late afternoon snack etc. I made some resource changes (read: online courses) just to allow this doubling up because seriously, although I would love for him to have more time to work on certain curriculum, more is accomplished with the compromise than otherwise (and the resulting feeling of productivity does so much good for the both of us). So far, I've found Thinkwell, Khan Academy, TeachCo courses and Coursera courses to be meal-time friendly resources.

 

I pushed music practice and the walk + working out to the evenings so he is actually done with the more structured academics by 3pm. The additional 2 hours of music and exercise are a routine he looks forward to because they signal the end of mom-suggested structure and the beginning of self-directed math exploration or reading.

 

If you need more details about our schedule please let me know.

[Cosmos]

The 30 minutes in the car can be put to good use listening to news or audiobooks. But why on Earth does he need one hour in the locker room to shower and change?

I need 15 minutes in the morning to get showered, hair washed and dried, dressed for work. What can he be doing there for this long?

 

Well, I was including the entire process from when we stop school until we are back in the kitchen. We can't stop school and instantly be walking out the door, for example. It might go roughly like this:

 

1:45 stop school and gather gym bags, bundle up, etc.

1:50 walk to gym (it's less than a mile from our house)

2:05 arrive at gym, check in, go to locker rooms, change into exercise clothes, walk up to cardio room

2:15-2:45 30 minutes on treadmill

2:45-2:55 locker room, change into swimsuit, shower

2:55-3:35 swim 40 minutes

3:35-3:50 shower, dress, repack gym bag (yup, about 15 minutes for me too)

3:50-4:10 walk home

4:10-4:15 hang up wet things

 

That's more or less what I do. He does different things but finishes about the same time as I do. We could probably make it somewhat more efficient.

[ccolopy]

If he can't focus until he's had time to wake up and get some exercise, have you considered going to the gym early in the morning? If you left the house by 7:30 and limited his time in the locker room, you could be home and starting school by 9:30. Including a lunch break, he could still be finished by 2:00, leaving him 5 hours to practice music, do a few chores and whatever else he wants to do. 50 minutes of morning chores, along with cleaning up from meals, seems a little excessive to me, unless he is just a slow worker.

 

My DS is one of those kids who has a decent school load and plays multiple sports and instruments. He has never complained about not having enough free time, because he considers music practice, sports practices, trips to the gym, eating, reading and watching the news to be his "free time".

[RootAnn]

Is there anyway for you to move the gym time to first thing in the morning? (You figure out if that is after breakfast/chores.) He only showers once. It cuts out the morning exercise. He's invigorated & ready to sit down for some rest ... and some schoolwork. He could get some of his work done before lunch, the rest after & then he's free for the rest of the day? (There are details that I'm leaving out, but I'm concentrating on the idea.)

 

(Edited to add that one poster JUST beat me to the idea, but I didn't see her post until after I submitted mine.)

Edited January 24, 2013 by RootAnn

[Cosmos]

I was going to respond to your other post about choosing to start late bc of how he functions. I'll combine those thoughts with this one. I don't drag or prod my kids once they reach a certain age......usually around age 8 or 9. After that, I tend to let them live with the natural consequences of their decisions. So, if they want to have a relaxing morning and not jump out of bed, then working until bedtime is what they might have to do. It means I will control when they do what subjects bc I am not going to be impacted by those decisions bc my nights will not be spent doing school bc they chose to be slow in the morning.

 

It sounds like you are realizing this on your own. The inefficiency is his issue and he needs to recognize his own ability to control his free time by the pace and focus he deliberately chooses.

 

Oh gosh, not just realizing it now. The bolded is like my mantra. I spent years trying to push and pull and prod him to go faster, and I'm not sure if he can't or he won't, but he never really has. This new schedule is the first one he has really consistently been able to meet without my direction. I really wanted him to experience success at that, and now he wants and I want to help him pare it back toward efficiency while still having success. Does that make sense? We have done the living with natural consequences thing with the result of absolute discouragement and failure.

 

You might assist him by writing down his start and stop times for various things so that he can start to internally gauge how he is using his time.

 

We have done this.

 

Fwiw, by age 12 my kids have often started getting up at 5 so they can be finished really early in the day and get a lot accomplished while our house is quiet. They get mad at themselves when they sleep in. ;)

 

I don't think he could do that! He is absolutely useless without enough sleep.

[Cosmos]

I think the OP said this in her first post when she said her son likes to come home from the gym, snack and read a little before starting school but then feels that he has very little free time before dinner. He needs to see that the time he is snacking and reading is free time, he’s choosing how to spend it.

 

Very true. Although I do like, if possible, to concentrate the free time into a long block rather than in little bits. Otherwise it really does feel like no time. That's how I try to structure my own time.

 

And he does know this. As he says, it *feels* like no free time, even though he knows there is some.

[Cosmos]

Also why does he exercise for 20-30 minutes in the am if he is heading to the gym for 3 hours? WHy not start school earlier, do music practice after the gym and then he has the rest of the time as freetime. You also seem to be missing 30 minutes...you say he does music and exercise from 830-10am, but only list 40 minutes of music and 20-30 minutes for exercise, so where does the other 20-30 minutes go? is it just wasted some how? By getting rid of the am exercise and that missing 20-30 minutes, he could start school by 910am, and have gained 50 minutes for school work, meaning no need to do an hour in the evening after the gym when he is likely exhausted and his brain would not be on studies any way.

 

This is exactly what we're going to try. :) Yes, I think that 20-30 minutes was just wasted. Mostly because I really wanted him to have *success* after a really discouraging period this past fall, so I built in some extra time to make sure. But he is ready now to see that it can and should be brought back down. The exercise in the morning was to help him concentrate better during school. It helped a little, but his concentration improved tremendously after we started going to the gym. So I am wondering if it's exercise in general that helps focus and it does not necessarily have to be right before working. I sure hope so, because I think we can all be happy with that new plan.

[Cosmos]

I appreciate your input, quark.

 

I have been hesitating to post because I have a slightly younger kid but I have often followed your posts Cosmos and now I'll just add some thoughts because I see a lot of similarities between our boys. Mine does better with more sleep as well and also takes a long time to eat and also watches CNN Student News every day. We start school at 9am-ish and finish by 5pm, all in, including an average of 4 subjects a day, music practice, an hour's walk, 30 mins on treadmill and his 10-15 minutes of pushups/ strength-training at home. This gives him a good 5 hours of completely free time every weekday (except for Weds) and the weekends off as well (he wakes up late on weekends). He sleeps at 10pm+, wakes up at 8.30am or so. I know it may sound crazy but I was wondering if it would work to workout at home most days instead of going to the gym? We have saved a ton of money that way...savings that went towards purchasing the treadmill (a $300 older model) and bicycles.

 

Not crazy at all. Although the community benefits of the gym are not nothing, either. There are a lot of kids and teens there, and it's just down the street from the library. We're trying it for this winter. In the summer we get plenty of non-gym exercise.

 

One of the ways I've managed to give him the free time (and he REALLY needs that because he is a "thinker" and will get frustrated if he doesn't have enough time to think) is, like pps have suggested, to double up school time with meal times. So he watches Student News while having breakfast (and also watches a TeachCo lecture or listens to audiobooks because he eats slowly), watches math lectures with lunch, history lectures with his late afternoon snack etc. I made some resource changes (read: online courses) just to allow this doubling up because seriously, although I would love for him to have more time to work on certain curriculum, more is accomplished with the compromise than otherwise (and the resulting feeling of productivity does so much good for the both of us). So far, I've found Thinkwell, Khan Academy, TeachCo courses and Coursera courses to be meal-time friendly resources.

 

We've tried that a bit. We're listening to a TC course right now and sometimes listen during lunch. I don't think I'd want to count on doing it, though. Sometimes we really need a lunch break.

[Cosmos]

If he can't focus until he's had time to wake up and get some exercise, have you considered going to the gym early in the morning? If you left the house by 7:30 and limited his time in the locker room, you could be home and starting school by 9:30. Including a lunch break, he could still be finished by 2:00, leaving him 5 hours to practice music, do a few chores and whatever else he wants to do. 50 minutes of morning chores, along with cleaning up from meals, seems a little excessive to me, unless he is just a slow worker.

 

Yes, he is a slow worker. :) I've listed his chores upthread and I don't think they are excessive by almost anyone's standard.

 

I have thought about doing the gym in the morning too. The drawback would be that there aren't any other kids at the gym at that time, so we would lose some of the social benefit. But yes, it would be more efficient. It's something to consider if our new plan (dropping the morning exercise entirely) doesn't work.

[Cosmos]

Is there anyway for you to move the gym time to first thing in the morning? (You figure out if that is after breakfast/chores.) He only showers once. It cuts out the morning exercise. He's invigorated & ready to sit down for some rest ... and some schoolwork. He could get some of his work done before lunch, the rest after & then he's free for the rest of the day? (There are details that I'm leaving out, but I'm concentrating on the idea.)

 

(Edited to add that one poster JUST beat me to the idea, but I didn't see her post until after I submitted mine.)

 

That's how you know it's a good idea! :)

 

Thank you, everyone, for the replies. I do appreciate your input.

[redsquirrel]

My DS is one of those kids who has a decent school load and plays multiple sports and instruments. He has never complained about not having enough free time, because he considers music practice, sports practices, trips to the gym, eating, reading and watching the news to be his "free time".

 

 

That is very much the case here. My son complains every now and then that he doesn't have enough 'free time' (mostly because he wants to play Even More minecraft or skyrim) and I just point out that he actually does have quite a lot of free time. He has chosen to spend a lot of it at the studio, but that is totally up to him and can change at any time. That is why he likes homeschooling. We start school by 9 and generally finish school by 2:30pm and he still has approx 60 mins of hang out time before ballet or choir.

 

And if one of the benefits of going to the gym in the afternoon is spending time with other kids his age (and that is a big benefit) then to me it really does count as a free time activity. He is choosing to spend his free time at the gym, working out with his friends. That sounds like a great use for free time.

[dereksurfs]

I was going to suggest morning gym time as well until you described the social aspect of the gym. The 2.5 hours of gym time is definately a luxury and really is his/your free time. To fully enjoy that, sacrifice in other areas must occur. Getting school done *before* the gym would be the ideal IMO. I just don't see how one can be both a late starter and an early finisher. Something has to give. Removing the morning excercise is a good first step. I would try harder to shave at least 20-30 minutes off the gym if at all possible. Maybe swim one day and do other exercises the next (treadmill, etc...). You could leave later that way and get more school work accomplished first. Most kids who do sports in school like swim team, volleyball, track, wrestling, etc... do them before (zero period) or after school, not right in the middle. There is something to be said for sustained focused school time vs. broken pieces here and there. It takes time to focus and to really get into a groove, whether it be solving difficult math problems or writting a paper or performing a science experiment. Balancing solid academics with fun and free time can be challenging I know.

 

Hey, I had another thought on the exercise. How about the gym in the morning two days a week and the afternoon the other two just to try the morning exercise thing out. I found while in High School that morning exercise really invigorated me for the entire day. It really does wake you up and get the blood flowing to the brain. Of course I used to surf before school and man was that fun! :D

[Karen in CO]

Just a couple of thoughts. I think that the exercise is great for kids this age to help them focus. I know kids can drag and be slow. My 12yo is very slow. At the beginning of the year, I was dragging her out out of bed at 6:30 to make it to school on time. She hated it. Now she gets up at 5:30 so she can wake up slowly, laze in bed for a few minutes then take a long shower in time to eat a slow breakfast. She leaves for school at 7:15 and doesn't return until 4pm. She has a rigourous amount of homework, chores, and needs to practice her cello for at least an hour, and get some fresh air and exercise plus eat and be in bed at a reasonable time (9:30). She manages all of that now. It was hard for her to learn to set priorities and be efficient. Now she makes it look easy.

 

I guess my point is that if your ds truly wants more free time, then he needs to find it, not you.