skimomma Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Tell me I am not the only one! Dd is 9. Today is the first day of "4th grade" at our house. She has been homeschooled all the way through. She cries when frustrated. I don't know if this is abnormal but often there will be tears at least once a day some weeks. She is a very bright girl but often works too fast and does not take the time to do her work correctly, following the correct directions, neatly, completely, etc..... As a result, she is often redoing and/or fixing her work. She seems to get the concepts but I fear what her grades at a regular school would look like due to the oversights and lack of careful work. Then she cries when asked to redo/fix something. Again, I shudder to think what would happen if she attended school...... I was so hoping to start the year out right with a good first day. We are halfway through and the waterworks has been on twice now. The beginning of last year was a disaster. It took weeks for her to get her groove. Meanwhile, I almost went insane. I am not sure I can put us through that again:confused: Looking for tips or even btdt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 :grouphug: :grouphug: We are having a tough day here, too, although it's not our first day. DS older is reviewing quadrilaterals and their definitions and it's not going well. Deep breathing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 I always ask my kids, "Would you cry and whine like this to the teacher at regular school?" They always say no. So, then I remind them that I am their teacher and they should keep that in mind! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Tell me I am not the only one! Dd is 9. Today is the first day of "4th grade" at our house. She has been homeschooled all the way through. She cries when frustrated. I don't know if this is abnormal but often there will be tears at least once a day some weeks. She is a very bright girl but often works too fast and does not take the time to do her work correctly, following the correct directions, neatly, completely, etc..... As a result, she is often redoing and/or fixing her work. She seems to get the concepts but I fear what her grades at a regular school would look like due to the oversights and lack of careful work. Then she cries when asked to redo/fix something. Again, I shudder to think what would happen if she attended school...... I was so hoping to start the year out right with a good first day. We are halfway through and the waterworks has been on twice now. The beginning of last year was a disaster. It took weeks for her to get her groove. Meanwhile, I almost went insane. I am not sure I can put us through that again:confused: Looking for tips or even btdt. totally normal.... Maybe you should video tape her??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athena1277 Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Tell me I am not the only one! Dd is 9. Today is the first day of "4th grade" at our house. She has been homeschooled all the way through. She cries when frustrated. I don't know if this is abnormal but often there will be tears at least once a day some weeks. She is a very bright girl but often works too fast and does not take the time to do her work correctly, following the correct directions, neatly, completely, etc..... As a result, she is often redoing and/or fixing her work. She seems to get the concepts but I fear what her grades at a regular school would look like due to the oversights and lack of careful work. Then she cries when asked to redo/fix something. Again, I shudder to think what would happen if she attended school...... I was so hoping to start the year out right with a good first day. We are halfway through and the waterworks has been on twice now. The beginning of last year was a disaster. It took weeks for her to get her groove. Meanwhile, I almost went insane. I am not sure I can put us through that again:confused: Looking for tips or even btdt. OP, I also have a 9yo dd who recently started 4th. I have no advice, but I want you to know that I could have written this same post. My dd is always in a hurry to get to the next thing, no matter whether she's enjoying the things she's on or not. Her work is often sloppy and full of careless errors. She's a bright child, but lives her life in a hurry. Hope you (and I) get some helpful advice! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acadie Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 That was last year for us. 5th grade this year has started off surprisingly well. Dd10 expects to do work and is cranking through the easier/practice type stuff, instead of drawing it out all day, which gives us more time and energy for higher level work. Granted we're only a few days in, but I feel like I didn't see this kind of positive attitude at all last year. Do what you can to help her learn skills to manage, but also know it sometimes just gets easier when they mature a little. Amy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shannanlee Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 I have complainer today as well. He is complaining about writing definitions and Math being long. He did get an 84 on his Math Quiz. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4everHis Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Tell me I am not the only one! Dd is 9. Today is the first day of "4th grade" at our house. She has been homeschooled all the way through. She cries when frustrated. I don't know if this is abnormal but often there will be tears at least once a day some weeks. She is a very bright girl but often works too fast and does not take the time to do her work correctly, following the correct directions, neatly, completely, etc..... As a result, she is often redoing and/or fixing her work. She seems to get the concepts but I fear what her grades at a regular school would look like due to the oversights and lack of careful work. Then she cries when asked to redo/fix something. Again, I shudder to think what would happen if she attended school...... I was so hoping to start the year out right with a good first day. We are halfway through and the waterworks has been on twice now. The beginning of last year was a disaster. It took weeks for her to get her groove. Meanwhile, I almost went insane. I am not sure I can put us through that again:confused: Looking for tips or even btdt. Yep! DD9 has melted down because she didn't listen to the dvd teacher until he was actually 'done with the sentence!' Of course you don't know what to do, you didn't let him finish!!! Then there were tears.:001_huh: Pretty much any day of her 3 past years of school could be described the same way. If I didn't have 4 others that didn't do this I'm quite sure I would feel like a total failure as a teacher. . . but it's her and our inability to figure out what works for her. It is getting better, just ever so slowly. Hugs to you :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 I remember sending dd to her room and doing school after she calmed down. She knew school would run late in the day so she pulled herself together. It would make me crazy. On that note I probably could've been nicer about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skimomma Posted September 4, 2012 Author Share Posted September 4, 2012 I remember sending dd to her room and doing school after she calmed down. She knew school would run late in the day so she pulled herself together. It would make me crazy. On that note I probably could've been nicer about it. This is typically how I handle it. I try very VERY hard to frame it to be about taking a break to calm down and collect her thoughts. But sometimes I know it comes across as "get outta here until you can STOP crying..." :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skimomma Posted September 4, 2012 Author Share Posted September 4, 2012 The responses have really helped. I am glad to know this is not uncommon and that there is hope she might outgrow it. Video taping her is tempting..... I wish I could find a way to make this more pleasant for all of us. She is right on grade level and I don't feel like I am asking too much of her. I think so much of this would just go away if she would SLOW DOWN and take her time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenn- Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 I have one that melts down at the drop of a hat. Today he couldn't remember how to spell "four" for his spelling test. He collapsed in tears. Argh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Poor thing sounds like she puts a lot of pressure on herself. Is she the oldest or an only? My dd (oldest!) used to be similar, and I made it a point to subtly comment on my own mistakes. I also encouraged dd that she was not expected to know everything already, it was okay to make mistakes. I have often needed to remind both of my kids the need to slow down and completely read directions and understand what they need to do beforehand. This would often include me telling them directly, "Be sure to notice on this section that you need to do __________." Is it possible to spread out the start of your school year, beginning with a couple of subjects for the first week and adding in a few more each week until you are going full speed? It's fourth grade. You have a lot of leeway and can ease into this and enjoy your time together. I wouldn't be concerned with how things would go in public school unless it's something she'll be facing before next year. Second and third grade seemed to be the worst at my house for tears, and now is a perfect time to have her working on following directions, including redoing work when necessary. As much as you are hoping for a good day with no tears, she probably is remembering last year's first day and wanting a good day too. Hugs to both of you! :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 We've had tears as well. Even with light schooling through the summer, adding in the extras caused some turmoil. I suggest a nap or quiet time. Trying not to sound frustrated, I say, "I can tell you're very tired because you're having trouble keeping the emotions under control. Maybe we need a 15 (or 30 minute break)." For us, school usually takes a bit longer at the start. I dig deep for patience and keep outside activities at a mininum until things are better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 We haven't started full school this year, but wow - are you sure you don't have MY daughter there? I totally could have written your whole post word for word this past spring. Fast, sloppy, not reading full directions, tears and meltdowns. Check. BTDT :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skimomma Posted September 4, 2012 Author Share Posted September 4, 2012 Poor thing sounds like she puts a lot of pressure on herself. Is she the oldest or an only? My dd (oldest!) used to be similar, and I made it a point to subtly comment on my own mistakes. I also encouraged dd that she was not expected to know everything already, it was okay to make mistakes. I have often needed to remind both of my kids the need to slow down and completely read directions and understand what they need to do beforehand. This would often include me telling them directly, "Be sure to notice on this section that you need to do __________." Is it possible to spread out the start of your school year, beginning with a couple of subjects for the first week and adding in a few more each week until you are going full speed? It's fourth grade. You have a lot of leeway and can ease into this and enjoy your time together. I wouldn't be concerned with how things would go in public school unless it's something she'll be facing before next year. Second and third grade seemed to be the worst at my house for tears, and now is a perfect time to have her working on following directions, including redoing work when necessary. As much as you are hoping for a good day with no tears, she probably is remembering last year's first day and wanting a good day too. Hugs to both of you! :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Yeah, she is an only and a perfectionist. Getting stuff wrong really bothers her. Especially when it is constant due to rushing an carelessness. She is also very sensitive. And dealing with sensitive people is not my strong suit:001_huh: I often am perplexed by what upsets her and I am sure I come off as insensitive. I often go over instructions with her before she begins. That always helps. But I feel that reading and understanding directions is a skill that she should be acquiring by now. We do talk all the time about how mistakes are good if you learn from them. And that there is no way to learn without making mistakes. Unfortunately, it seems that she is not learning from her rushing/carelessness mistakes:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skimomma Posted September 4, 2012 Author Share Posted September 4, 2012 We've had tears as well. Even with light schooling through the summer, adding in the extras caused some turmoil. I suggest a nap or quiet time. Trying not to sound frustrated, I say, "I can tell you're very tired because you're having trouble keeping the emotions under control. Maybe we need a 15 (or 30 minute break)." For us, school usually takes a bit longer at the start. I dig deep for patience and keep outside activities at a mininum until things are better. We also did "school light" this summer. We took three weeks off in August because things were getting so bad, even with light school. I know we both needed the time off but I also knew it would make today (and probably the next few weeks) difficult. Sigh. Sometimes it is so hard being her parent AND teacher:boxing_smiley: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoodGrief Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 My oldest is like that. She's 17 now, and honestly, I haven't seen things change a whole lot through the years. I eventually realized she could not handle large amounts of busywork. If it's any comfort, she's been in public school to varying degrees for high school (one year full time, one year part time, one year as an exchange student), and it really wasn't a huge problem there. The teachers in ps had lower expectations, IME, than I had. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 I always ask my kids, "Would you cry and whine like this to the teacher at regular school?" They always say no. So, then I remind them that I am their teacher and they should keep that in mind! :grouphug: :iagree: Yep, this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhotoGal Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 We had a few tears today on our first day as well. I thought I would keep the day fun by having all games during math time. Well, ds was crying because he didn't win a few games in a row. Luckily we had just read some "perceverance" stories in the morning, so I coaxed him into trying a few more times until he finally won a game. It was a good learning experience, but certainly not what I pictured when I scheduled fun math games for our first day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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