Donna Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Suppose you had family visiting from out of town and there was a picnic scheduled so locals could see them. You get to the picnic and about an hour or more in, you overhear visiting family member telling someone that one of her kids, who has been playing in close proximity with your child is running a fever. No one gives you a heads-up that the child playing with yours is sick to give you the option of whether or not to even attend the picnic or to know to have your child steer clear of sick child....oh, and you are heading out of the country the day after said picnic with your child who happens to never just get a cold like a normal kid but, when she does get sick, ends up with asthma-like symptoms and extremely high fevers. Would you think this was inconsiderate or "kids get sick and it can't be helped"? Btw, yes, my daughter did get sick while in Ireland and I spent most of the first couple days staying in our hotel room worrying about her wheezing and bad cough and more than a few hours on the internet messaging my husband back home to get information on how to go about getting any medical care she might need covered by our insurance. She ended up not needing to go to a doctor thanks to a medication not available in the US but given to me by a pharmacist in Dublin but it was a little hairy for awhile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twinmami01 Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 It's inconsiderate. My boys have a history of epilepsy and even the slightest cold can cause them to have seizures. I get that kids get sick, but to knowingly allow a sick child around others can put some kids at high risk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 totally inconsiderate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 This has been brought up here several times. For me, a fever or recent vomiting (unless a kid is known for something like car sickness) are big no nos - I don't want a heads up, I want you to not bring the kid in the first place. But stuffiness, lingering coughs, etc... Sometimes you take a kid out, but there should always be a heads up and it is inconsiderate not to give one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Does she know how easily your child gets sick and that she gets sicker than most? Was it her only child? If her child usually runs fevers but never gets sick (like one of mine) she might be truly unaware that others might be more affected. I'm aware, because my other child also gets very sick. But it is also very likely your DD picked up the virus on the plane. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenpatty Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Definitely inconsiderate on her part. That kind of thing drives me nuts! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Totally inconsiderate. One of mine catches everything. I at least like to know what he has--most likely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnylady303 Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I am sitting in the hospital right now with my DD with weak lungs because a friend sent her DD to our house to spend the night when she had a cold, fever, cough. I always think letting parents make the decision of stay away versus it's just a cold is best. I am trying not to be mad at my friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJ. Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 This has been brought up here several times. For me, a fever or recent vomiting (unless a kid is known for something like car sickness) are big no nos - I don't want a heads up, I want you to not bring the kid in the first place. But stuffiness, lingering coughs, etc... Sometimes you take a kid out, but there should always be a heads up and it is inconsiderate not to give one. This. I understand that coughs and boogers linger but if your child has a fever or is puking then stay away! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 If her child usually runs fevers but never gets sick :001_huh: This makes no sense. A fever IS an indication of illness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Inconsiderate, and imo pretty hard-hearted and mean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 This has been brought up here several times. For me, a fever or recent vomiting (unless a kid is known for something like car sickness) are big no nos - I don't want a heads up, I want you to not bring the kid in the first place. But stuffiness, lingering coughs, etc... Sometimes you take a kid out, but there should always be a heads up and it is inconsiderate not to give one. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Absolutely, totally inconsiderate. Fevers, vomiting, and mucous are three things that require isolation. Period. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJ. Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 Absolutely, totally inconsiderate. Fevers, vomiting, and mucous are three things that require isolation. Period. I get the fevers and vomiting but why mucous? Sometimes snot lingers in little ones for quite a while. DS2 has allergies and has been stuffy and sneezy for the past few weeks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 :001_huh: This makes no sense. A fever IS an indication of illness. But the severity is lacking. A have a child who'd run a fever, but would get over it without getting any worse, and without getting any additional symptoms. So if her child is like this, she might not understand that not everyone handles fevers to easily. Different immune systems deal with fevers differently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmosis Mom Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 After being a parent for 21 years, then at this point I would say that if your dd is this sensitive and considering you had a travel planned, taking her out the day before might not guarantee a germ-free environment. We have asthma in the house and have had many babies over the years (including one who almost died from pertussis from a boy at the playground, so I have btdt), however, it is my responsibility in the end to decide whether or not to take my sensitive kid out to public events with possible germ consequences. I have cancelled events at my place because a friend was going to bring a really contagious child here, but I have also had many people over with kids with runny noses etc. because I don't want to shelter my family too much or totally keep germs abay. Even considering we have no insurance and dh especially has it bad with asthma. Of course if your post was only to garner support of your own viewpoint, then please disregard this opinion. I personally just think that especially, but not exclusively, within the homeschooling community then there is a lot of over-parenting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna Posted August 23, 2012 Author Share Posted August 23, 2012 It is not her first child...one of 4 (two 6yos and two 18mos). The mother in question is my sister and my parents, who live near us and hosted the event, were there as well and all know how difficult a time my child has with a "cold." She had RSV with hospitalizations twice as a baby, needs a nebulizer with any cold or even stomach virus, and has had pneumonia or bronchitis 1-2 times a year (whenever she gets ill). No dd did not get sick on the plane. She began complaining of a slight sore throat just before we went to the airport and I had her take Emergen-C to try to head it off. I am now the bad guy in the family for calling them all inconsiderate. Somehow it is my fault because I took dd there....uh, without knowing anyone was ill. Then some of the other things that were said lead me to understand that others were ill in the house earlier in the week and they had my dd over to visit most days of the week prior to the picnic without anyone letting me know anyone was ill. If they had just admitted to not thinking when they didn't tell me, I would have been fine and felt better but now they are putting the blame on me for taking my child there and making it seem like I am unreasonable because they "didn't have time to call everyone and let them know the child was sick." Ugh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna Posted August 23, 2012 Author Share Posted August 23, 2012 After being a parent for 21 years, then at this point I would say that if your dd is this sensitive and considering you had a travel planned, taking her out the day before might not guarantee a germ-free environment. We have asthma in the house and have had many babies over the years (including one who almost died from pertussis from a boy at the playground, so I have btdt), however, it is my responsibility in the end to decide whether or not to take my sensitive kid out to public events with possible germ consequences. I have cancelled events at my place because a friend was going to bring a really contagious child here, but I have also had many people over with kids with runny noses etc. because I don't want to shelter my family too much or totally keep germs abay. Even considering we have no insurance and dh especially has it bad with asthma. Of course if your post was only to garner support of your own viewpoint, then please disregard this opinion. I personally just think that especially, but not exclusively, within the homeschooling community then there is a lot of over-parenting. I understand what you are saying and had I been informed of someone being sick with a fever, my family would not have attended. I also would not have exposed any of the children there if my child was the one who was contagious or would, at the very least, have let them know what was up and given them the choice whether or not to be around my sick child. For example, my mother had surgery a couple months ago and after she was feeling a bit better I invited my parents to supper but my dd got sick that day and instead I suggested my dad come pick up the food rather than exposing them to her illness. I admit I may be more sensitive to being considerate about illness because I work with children many of whom have severe medical issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 I get the fevers and vomiting but why mucous? Sometimes snot lingers in little ones for quite a while. DS2 has allergies and has been stuffy and sneezy for the past few weeks. I'm not talking about a little sniffle or allergies. I have allergies and know what it's like. If it's a real bad allergy day, with a lot of mucous, then I do often choose to stay home. If my allergies are that bad, then I am miserable enough to not want to be out. Also it makes others uncomfortable. Other times, though, if I know for certain that it's "just" an allergy issue, I will simply tell people not to worry, that I am not contagious because I know it is an allergy. Either way, though, it is a reality that copious mucous production makes people worried about germs and grossed out by the snot. Mucous is an issue because it specifically carries those germs to anyone who comes in contact. Unless the person is absolutely obsessive about washing hands and thoroughly covering their nose when they sneeze, those germs will spread. It's really not fair to others if there is still a runny nose to be out--that excess mucous production is an indication that the child is not well, and yes, mucous does spread those infectious germs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 But the severity is lacking. A have a child who'd run a fever, but would get over it without getting any worse, and without getting any additional symptoms. So if her child is like this, she might not understand that not everyone handles fevers to easily. Different immune systems deal with fevers differently. We'll obviously have to disagree on this one. If a person has a fever, then there is an infection of some sort, and that person is contagious. That is a physical fact. It doesn't really matter how comfortable that sick person is with or without other symptoms. The fever IS a compelling enough symptom to indicate illness. It is really unfair to expose other people to that illness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 This has been brought up here several times. For me, a fever or recent vomiting (unless a kid is known for something like car sickness) are big no nos - I don't want a heads up, I want you to not bring the kid in the first place. But stuffiness, lingering coughs, etc... Sometimes you take a kid out, but there should always be a heads up and it is inconsiderate not to give one. :iagree: I am sitting in the hospital right now with my DD with weak lungs because a friend sent her DD to our house to spend the night when she had a cold, fever, cough. I always think letting parents make the decision of stay away versus it's just a cold is best. I am trying not to be mad at my friend. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 We'll obviously have to disagree on this one. If a person has a fever, then there is an infection of some sort, and that person is contagious. That is a physical fact. It doesn't really matter how comfortable that sick person is with or without other symptoms. The fever IS a compelling enough symptom to indicate illness. It is really unfair to expose other people to that illness. I generally agree with this... Except fever does not equal contagious. I did once take a child with a fever to a gathering because he had a confirmed case of Lyme disease at the hospital and the doctor specifically said it was okay to take him. It was his only chance to see a friend visiting from far away. But that was a very specific case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Except fever does not equal contagious.:iagree:This. And, for some viruses and such, a child may be contagious for days before showing any symptoms, if any. Whle I think it was in poor taste to bring a sick child to the gathering, the dd of the OP may have actually gotten sick from someone else or been exposed days before. Some illnesses take days to manifest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 I generally agree with this... Except fever does not equal contagious. I did once take a child with a fever to a gathering because he had a confirmed case of Lyme disease at the hospital and the doctor specifically said it was okay to take him. It was his only chance to see a friend visiting from far away. But that was a very specific case. That's a very specific case. It reminds me of a friend I used to work with who suffered from CFIDS (Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome), or my sister who has MS. They suffer fevers that are not the result of a virus. However, the post I was responding to did not mention any such specific disease. As a general rule, for most people, the fever DOES indicate illness. I stand by my statement that it is inconsiderate to expose others to that illness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 :iagree:This. And, for some viruses and such, a child may be contagious for days before showing any symptoms, if any. Whle I think it was in poor taste to bring a sick child to the gathering, the dd of the OP may have actually gotten sick from someone else or been exposed days before. Some illnesses take days to manifest. I can't do anything about the fact that contagion often happens before symptoms appear. I certainly don't hold anyone responsible for what they genuinely don't know. However, if there ARE active symptoms--fever, vomiting, mucous--then contagion is an issue, and it is unfair to expose others to that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 inconsiderate. It would only fall in the kids get sick category if they arrived at the picnic with a healthy child that developed the fever while there. They knowingly took said child there while sick. Not only inconsiderate to the fellow picnic-ers but downright cruel to sick child imo. If your child is sick you keep them home and comfort them, you don't take them out to a picnic to infect other people, just to have your own social fun. BAd call by the parents on that one. I am sorry your dd was sick on what should have been an amazing trip to Ireland. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 I pretty much figure that anytime kids from different families are meeting together at least one of them is actively ill. I never assume everyone is healthy. Plus we are always on public transportation so.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Inconsiderate. Ds8 used to be one of those kids who always got everything worse than anyone else due to an immune deficiency so I would have been extremely upset if someone knowingly took a sick child to an event with him without a heads up. He would have likely ended up very ill, potentially in the hospital because of it. Even now that he has a stronger immune system, we still avoid active contagion and always give others a warning if he is sick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mona100 Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 (edited) :001_huh: This makes no sense. A fever IS an indication of illness. My daughter was the same way when younger. Fevers with no other symptoms. She would sleep all day and that would be the end of it. She rarely gets sick but when the swine flu came around she definitely had more than just a fever at that time. But I would never take her out if she had one of her fevers bc I am sure she was sick but just didn't have any symptoms other than the fever. Edited August 24, 2012 by Mona100 Adding a sentence Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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