Make it stop or...

[sunnylady303]

help me find some self control!

 

I posted before about how my poor children having suffered due to my curriculum hopping. I have committed to doing Memoria Press with my girls THE WHOLE YEAR. No jumping allowed. We are in the middle of our second week.

 

But today is a down day. Should be a full speed ahead school day but my parents (who had been visiting for 2 weeks) left this morning and my girls are bereft. So we are taking some down time. So now I'm off schedule which always freaks me out.

 

Then I make the mistake of reading Rivka's awesome blog. Shouldn't have done that. She uses MCT and Beast Academy with her DD and my DD is the same age and I actually have those two things and AAS3 so I could add that in. Her DD looks like she is having so much fun. Oh. And they are using Lively Latin. I have that too. Memoria Press uses Prima Latina and DD8 had her first I hate school meltdown yesterday. Maybe it would be better with those other things. And maybe MP has too much writing and I should do something else. And...this is what life is like in my head and I only shared a small bit.

 

What is wrong with me??! Someone please help me!

[vontinney]

I used to get freaked when we'd get off schedule...then I decided that I control the schedule...the schedule doesn't control me. Some days just aren't conducive to sticking to the schedule. Just remember that what works for others may not be a good fit for you and/or your child (thinking of all the catalogs showing children smiling and reading and enjoying schooling and most days my reality doesn't look like that....). Take the day off, go outside and observe nature and just relish the time you have with your child-all too soon they will become teenagers and will be replaced by an alien...LOL!

[03loretta]

I do not know who Rivka is (I'll have to have a look see), but the thing to remember is that the blog only shows a small part of someone's life. So, yes they can serve to be an inspiration, but caution is advised to remember it is not the whole story.

 

No two homeschools will be exactly the same in their day to day process due to the indiviuality of children and the fact that the homeschool is formed around the child.

 

As far as the meltdown goes, there are other potential contributers in addition to the curriculum style. Was it beyond her grasp? Was she frustrated, tired, wanted to have fun with ..., were you frustrated, tired, wanting to get on with other things? One bad day does not constitute failure :)

 

I know I have not said anything you probably haven't already thought through - but it seems you want to have someone else say it too?

 

And yes, I agree with Linda, the less you read about other homeschools, the more content you will be with your own. And you will free up more of your time for something else!

[sunnylady303]

I know I have not said anything you probably haven't already thought through - but it seems you want to have someone else say it too?

 

Yes! And I need someone to say it to me again. Because it isn't sticking in my head for some reason. Thank you!

[8filltheheart]

Never base your decisions based on an image you have of someone else's children.

 

However, you absolutely should make decisions based on your own.

 

Even after 19 yrs of doing this, I had major busts this yr (we are in our 4th week). i have had to re-think some of my original plans b/c they weren't working in the way I anticipated. I would never simply stick w/my original plans simply b/c I had made that plan. (and one of the reasons why I always plan in pencil!!)

 

As to what you should do......I try to stick things out at least 2-3 weeks at the beginning of the yr to ensure the issue isn't just getting back into school-mode. If something is making a child cry, something is wrong.....difficulty, approach, understanding, etc.

[Amy Jo]

Two things come to mind:

 

Consider doing some of the written work orally. I'm doing PL with my 8yo, and we are just using the teacher book plus some home-made flash cards. ALL the same information is covered in LCI, so I'm not worried. Also, remember you don't have to answer every question either. Have you read much on the MP forums? They use the comprehension questions as mini-writing lessons: they discuss the question, form a good sentence together, the teacher writes it on the board, then the students copy the answer to their books.

 

Think of the schedule as a giant loop - just do the next item. Also remember that most of Friday is review, so you have an automatic time to catch up every week!

[PeterPan]

Honestly, in your case the easiest thing would be to give your dh the credit card. Then stay off the curriculum board till next fall. Don't read on blogs unless the person is in your situation. Having the same age has no connection to the same temperament, special needs, health problems, time-consuming interests, etc. I read some of your back posts to see, and that's a lot you've been dealing with. There's no way someone else's mix, in their situation, is going to translate directly over to yours. And, just so you know, if she's having meltdowns on top of everything else, that could indicate some SN. It's just something to watch, when you start seeing meltdowns, hyperactivity, difficulty with transitions, unexpected school problems given her obvious intelligence, etc.

[Leav97]

You're two weeks into the year. Stay with the same program for at least two months. It's hard to evaluate something in two weeks. Especially if Grandma and Grandpa have been visiting for the last 2 weeks.

[twinmami01]

Stay away from the K-8 board. Seriously.

:iagree:

[ErinE]

Keep in mind there are a wide range of levels on these boards. It may sometimes feel like the more "visible" posters have brilliant, cooperative, and happy children. But those kids have down days, too; their parents just may not talk about it. I'm sure if all the Hive were required to post "day in the life" updates, your life wouldn't be much from anyone else on the board.

 

 

You know your child best. If you have meltdowns over writing, work with your child asking for oral narrations or spreading the writing work over a longer period. Latin is difficult? Slow down the program or adapt it to your child's needs. PS and private school teachers adapt the given materials all the time. You can do the same.

 

For privacy reasons, I try not to talk about my kids' behaviour. I search or lurk previous threads to see if I can glean any advice. I also have threads under subscription so I can keep track when new advice pops up. I've also written other posters directly when I've found their advice online helpful. Not everyone puts their concerns out there so trust in the fact that you are not alone.

[Farrar]

Stay away from the K-8 board. Seriously.

 

Hehe. It's true though. All the other kids, happy with their choices, aren't your kid. Make the decision, don't live in regret or constantly question yourself. I think you had the right idea to pick something and stick with it for awhile. Sometimes, it's fine to hop around, but if you're just doing it nonstop, then I think it's time to settle.

[justLisa]

I am the type that can read a blog and think "that is fantastic for them, she is super mom etc, etc," WITHOUT feeling like I need to do something else or start worrying. If you are not this type, do not read blogs.

 

Make a schedule/curric plan and just stick with it. Stop asking yourself why so much.

[Adrienne_in_TX]

Know thyself!

 

If reading the boards makes you second guess (which it does me), then take a nice, long board break and get to know your curriculum in relationship to your kiddo. Your curriculum is your medium of instruction . . . your clay . . . mold it to your teaching style and your child's needs.

 

I have perfectionist tendencies, so I'm always looking for the "perfect" thing when the reality is that I'm pretty sharp and could probably make just about anything work if I'd take the time to get creative with it. I allow myself to spend a lot (and I do mean A LOT) of time on the boards in the summer while planning and purchasing, but I discipline myself to stay away as much as possible during the teaching months. I just have to settle in and do my thing so that I don't derail myself.

 

Give it a go for a couple of months before jumping ship! For all of the posts that you find about someone loving a curriculum choice, you will find as many that don't. I hope you have a great year!

[Hunter]

Know thyself!

 

 

:iagree:

 

Mission Statement. YOURS not someone elses.

 

 

for YOUR year.

 

I have always taught nontraditional students with unique needs. I've always known my students needed what THEY needed. And i've taught under some HARD circumstances and have had to take the reality of my resources into consideration. Pictures of people having fun barely produces a floater in my peripheral vision.

Edited August 15, 2012 by Hunter

[PeterPan]

I have perfectionist tendencies, so I'm always looking for the "perfect" thing when the reality is that I'm pretty sharp and could probably make just about anything work if I'd take the time to get creative with it. I allow myself to spend a lot (and I do mean A LOT) of time on the boards in the summer while planning and purchasing, but I discipline myself to stay away as much as possible during the teaching months. I just have to settle in and do my thing so that I don't derail myself.

 

Me too! :D What I finally learned to do was to plan this year up until this year starts. Then when the year starts, all the new stuff I find goes into my planning for NEXT year. :001_smile:

[Canadianmumof5]

Hehe. It's true though. All the other kids, happy with their choices, aren't your kid. Make the decision, don't live in regret or constantly question yourself. I think you had the right idea to pick something and stick with it for awhile. Sometimes, it's fine to hop around, but if you're just doing it nonstop, then I think it's time to settle.

 

:iagree:

What she said.

As tempting as all this is, you need to put a stake in the ground for more than 5 minutes and move forward.

Trust me; if you don't, your sanity and your credit card will go out the window. Sure, you will have every piece of bright, shiny, new curricula lined up perfectly on your shelves but it won't be worth diddly-squat if it doesn't work for YOUR child.

[SorrelZG]

I get this way about every 6-9 weeks regardless of what I'm doing. It's not from looking at blogs or learning about new stuff on the forum, either. It's the same stuff I keep wanting to switch back and forth between. I decide I need a detailed schedule, then I decide to the wind with such a schedule! - it's taking energy away from the spontaneous things I want to do. Then I decide I need specific help doing certain things; then I decide I don't need help - I can do this without the hand holding. It's been going on for a year and a half so in some sense, I know me, but I don't think that's what others mean :D. I think I'm just insecure in my ability to truly educate my children or provide them with a good childhood (which I haven't even defined beyond some fuzzy idea that it must involve stuff that doesn't come naturally to me and none of the stuff that does and it's what other people are providing but I am surely failing at). I find something that will help me and then start relying on it as if it could replace me and then I realize it can't replace me - true education and a good childhood is going to be more about ME than a wonderful curriculum (whatever it is at the time) and eventually .. one hopes .. I figure out that the tail is attached to my own rear and so I stop chasing it. ... one hopes...

 

I think the mission idea is awesome and I need to do that. Currently I'm trying to focus myself in that kind of way to think more about my goals than the specific tools I'm using to get there because i become too much about the tools as if I can pick just the right ones and can just follow their directions and out will pop a good, richly developed and educated citizen.

[kb44]

I am the type that can read a blog and think "that is fantastic for them, she is super mom etc, etc," WITHOUT feeling like I need to do something else or start worrying. If you are not this type, do not read blogs.

 

Make a schedule/curric plan and just stick with it. Stop asking yourself why so much.

:iagree:

 

There are many paths to a destination...you can't go down every road. Once you pick a road, enjoy it, work with it, and don't second guess every other road you passed up.

 

I would continue working with your curriculum for at least a few months, to really get into it and see if it works. Then, modify, change, add in, switch, etc. You have to get good at one thing at a time, IMO, and practice makes perfect/better. Once comfortable, then move on to "perfecting" something else. Constant doubt and upheaval doesn't lend to good instruction, IMO. Good luck!:grouphug:

[Hunter]

Currently I'm trying to focus myself in that kind of way to think more about my goals than the specific tools I'm using to get there ...

 

The youtube waldorf planner that I linked you to covers this a bit. Waldorf can get the mom so busy with art that she forgets about the basics. The planner makes the mom list the priorities for each child.

 

The most "fun" to me, is getting all the priorities covered, AND still having the time and money to make to decent food. But I'm told i'm kind of dull, so... :lol:

Edited August 16, 2012 by Hunter

[sunnylady303]

Thank you all. I needed to hear all these things. I don't know why it's so hard. I think I second guess myself too much. I am going to focus on sticking with what we have and using it in the best way I can for my girls. Thank you!

 

Back to school today and hopefully it goes better.

[Susie in MS]

I get this way about every 6-9 weeks regardless of what I'm doing. It's not from looking at blogs or learning about new stuff on the forum, either. It's the same stuff I keep wanting to switch back and forth between. I decide I need a detailed schedule, then I decide to the wind with such a schedule! - it's taking energy away from the spontaneous things I want to do. Then I decide I need specific help doing certain things; then I decide I don't need help - I can do this without the hand holding.

 

Have you been reading my mind!? ;) I could have written that word for word.

 

 

Hunter, I have NEVER found you dull! I find you practical, and have gleaned from your wisdom many times.

[Hunter]

 

Hunter, I have NEVER found you dull! I find you practical, and have gleaned from your wisdom many times.

:blushing:

 

One thing I have realized lately is that Adam had his thorns and thistles and we have badly written curricula. It's like the curricula is cursed. No matter how much we research and spend, the weeds pop up as we use it.

 

If we keep looking for weedless curricula, the students will graduate before we settle down. Which...isn't the END of the world as they will still be comparable to PS, but...it would be nice to do better than that, right? "Better than PS" is a vague and kinda stupid goal, but most of us have it. :001_huh:

 

So somehow we need to settle down in a weedy patch, and till it, tend it and harvest it. We may need to abandon a patch if the weeds choke the crop. But if the crop can survive until harvest, we just need to keep the weeds in check and accept them, knowing they are inevitable. And sometimes we need to let the weeds grow among the crop, if removing them will unroot the crop.

 

A mission statement and long term goals are a necessity if we are going to be able to distinguish the crop from the weeds.

[Susie in MS]

:blushing:

 

One thing I have realized lately is that Adam had his thorns and thistles and we have badly written curricula. It's like the curricula is cursed. No matter how much we research and spend, the weeds pop up as we use it.

 

If we keep looking for weedless curricula, the students will graduate before we settle down. Which...isn't the END of the world as they will still be comparable to PS, but...it would be nice to do better than that, right? "Better than PS" is a vague and kinda stupid goal, but most of us have it. :001_huh:

 

So somehow we need to settle down in a weedy patch, and till it, tend it and harvest it. We may need to abandon a patch if the weeds choke the crop. But if the crop can survive until harvest, we just need to keep the weeds in check and accept them, knowing they are inevitable. And sometimes we need to let the weeds grow among the crop, if removing them will unroot the crop.

 

A mission statement and long term goals are a necessity if we are going to be able to distinguish the crop from the weeds.

 

Like! :D

[edeemarie]

:blushing:

 

One thing I have realized lately is that Adam had his thorns and thistles and we have badly written curricula. It's like the curricula is cursed. No matter how much we research and spend, the weeds pop up as we use it.

 

If we keep looking for weedless curricula, the students will graduate before we settle down. Which...isn't the END of the world as they will still be comparable to PS, but...it would be nice to do better than that, right? "Better than PS" is a vague and kinda stupid goal, but most of us have it. :001_huh:

 

So somehow we need to settle down in a weedy patch, and till it, tend it and harvest it. We may need to abandon a patch if the weeds choke the crop. But if the crop can survive until harvest, we just need to keep the weeds in check and accept them, knowing they are inevitable. And sometimes we need to let the weeds grow among the crop, if removing them will unroot the crop.

 

A mission statement and long term goals are a necessity if we are going to be able to distinguish the crop from the weeds.

 

 

I need to print this off and hang it up on my fridge!

[MrsMe]

And yet nobody posts Rivka's blog. Sheesh...

 

And....not helpful. I know.

 

Let it be known that if I took a pic of my kid doing her work, I get this big smile. All her pics looks like she's LOVES what she does. Um.... NOT. Pictures don't show true life, but only outer emotions.

[SorrelZG]

Ok, this is really not cool .. I went searching for an old thread on moms with ADD and what they use and I really liked what I had posted on that thread (page 3) which was relevant to what I posted on this thread -- and then completely departed from! GRR @ these cycles.:glare:

[Narrow Gate Academy]

help me find some self control!

 

I posted before about how my poor children having suffered due to my curriculum hopping. I have committed to doing Memoria Press with my girls THE WHOLE YEAR. No jumping allowed. We are in the middle of our second week.

 

But today is a down day. Should be a full speed ahead school day but my parents (who had been visiting for 2 weeks) left this morning and my girls are bereft. So we are taking some down time. So now I'm off schedule which always freaks me out.

 

I wouldn't worry about being off by one day. I would just pick back up with today's lesson tomorrow and ignore the day of the week at the top of the schedule. Thanksgiving week or the week before Christmas make a good buffer. If you've taken two days off up to that point, schedule two days of work and take the remainder off. You'll start fresh on the correct day in January.

 

Then I make the mistake of reading Rivka's awesome blog. Shouldn't have done that. She uses MCT and Beast Academy with her DD and my DD is the same age and I actually have those two things and AAS3 so I could add that in. Her DD looks like she is having so much fun. Oh. And they are using Lively Latin. I have that too. Memoria Press uses Prima Latina and DD8 had her first I hate school meltdown yesterday. Maybe it would be better with those other things. And maybe MP has too much writing and I should do something else. And...this is what life is like in my head and I only shared a small bit.

 

I would stick with Prima Latina for another week. If she still hates it, then feel free to switch Latin programs and continue with the other MP materials. If you truly think MP has too much writing, then do some of the work orally and cut down on it. Make the program work for you. There are plenty of ways to add fun into the mix without switching programs. Play some math games, make some fall art, take a field trip, take her spelling words and the AAS tiles and see if she can connect them all crossword style instead of doing the worksheet for the day, etc.

 

What is wrong with me??! Someone please help me!

 

I don't think anything is wrong with you. You want to give your daughter the best education possible, and you want her to enjoy learning and have fun as well. The key is to find the right balance between work and fun, and learn to make the program work for you. HTH

[kolamum]

You're right, you shouldn't have blog hopped. I think in this day & age of modern technology & instant gratification it's so easy to see the rosy side of everything. It's so simple & quick to find new ways that might work better then to be satisfied with what we have. If the grass is greener on the other side, it's time to stop looking at the other side.

 

Pick what works for your students & move onward. Avoid blog hopping until you feel well grounded in what you are doing & not willing to be led astray. Avoid blogs that share repetitively about curriculum or only their great days.

 

It's OKAY to change if what you are using is NOT working, but if it is, don't fix it! ;)