kricau Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 :iagree: Oh my. My fears for the next gen are not far-fetched. . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kricau Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 :lol: Let us know how many etiquette books they receive. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2scouts Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 TACKY!! I've noticed this trend lately of young couples using every wedding, graduation, birth, new house or other big event as a way to get money and free stuff. I sat in shock as my niece, who already had a huge, fully furnished new house, made plans for a wedding and shower that would net her the most money and gifts. "We'll invite them because they're rich and they'll give us a nice check/gift!" I know one young couple who are expecting their first baby and they've already had FOUR large baby showers. I've heard comments about sending out graduation announcements to just about everyone they've ever known just to get more money. I now only attend showers and weddings of people I really do care about and I give them something nice that fits my budget. I never feel obligated to give anything but a card in response to other announcements and invites. A postcard from someone I rarely see saying that we're not invited but we're welcome to give a gift would be ignored. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hwin Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 I'm going to be the voice of crankiness here. :) My question is, what does how they conduct themselves have to do with the gift you'll give them? . Would you normally send a gift or money to a nephew on his wedding? If yes, do so. If not, then don't. Their behavior shouldn't dictate your behavior. Maybe not, but that's how it works for me. :tongue_smilie: If someone is making it known that they care more about getting a present from me than actually seeing me, it will probably affect my warm, fuzzy, I-want-to-bless-the-happy-couple gifting mojo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beaners Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 2. Fears for the next generation are not far fetched, and in fact may be quite well founded. (Excepting, of course, all the stellar HIVE kids whose mothers would die of shock and heartbreak before allowing them to believe such a thing is appropriate. :D ) I agree. I'm generally fine with the ebb and flow of customs, and differences in customs across groups. This seems to be just more of the "cult of self-esteem" in which children and young adults expect to be lavishly rewarded for everything they do, though, and it is something I'm seeing in all contexts: "the world owes me for existing" mentality. I've seen this sentiment a few times now. Believe me, I know quite a few people my age (who are getting married left and right) who would never do this. Their parents, on the other hand, would be encouraging it. After all, those parents have invested a lot of money in the showers and weddings of other families, and feel like they should get something in return. It's a hideous way to look at celebrations, but apparently it's fairly common. I'm certainly not saying that's the case here, but I've seen many perfectly lovely young couples with overbearing parents. l wouldn't let all the disappointment fall on a single generation. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 I'm wondering where these ideas come from? And, more importantly, why do so many of our youth have the idea stuff like this is OK? Does *no one* think to check etiquette any more? I mean, with the internet, it's so easy! Within days of finding out she was expecting (and announcing it by posting a photo of the peed-on stick on Facebook), my niece started making plans for hosting her own baby shower. She didn't even give anyone the opportunity to host one for her. She apparently later read on a baby website that this was considered poor manners and expressed her irritation and views of "who cares about etiquette? I need stuff and am not going to wait around for someone to volunteer!" on Facebook as well, followed at various times with "I need ___ but hate ____ so please don't get us anything with that on it" gift request/demands. We sent a gift card that wasn't acknowledged in any way. I think it's partly a case of not knowing how tacky she comes across as—but mostly she simply does not care what is polite and what is not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Yes, that is tacky. That message would go straight to my round file.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 They can afford to go to Mexico for their wedding....... That's what I'm thinkin'... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Should I purchase a gift - I would appreciate the hive input about that. I think this depends on whether you see this situation as primarily about you or primarily about them. Are you more concerned with whether their card to was tacky and rude, or are you more concerned with wishing a young couple well as they embark on married life together? I think the answer you give yourself to this question will determine whether you should send a gift. Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 I think this depends on whether you see this situation as primarily about you or primarily about them. Are you more concerned with whether their card to was tacky and rude, or are you more concerned with wishing a young couple well as they embark on married life together? I think the answer you give yourself to this question will determine whether you should send a gift. Tara Yes, but... They've already embarked on married life together. This is their second wedding. Together. To each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artichoke Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 I'd send a nice card but no gift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Maybe not, but that's how it works for me. :tongue_smilie: If someone is making it known that they care more about getting a present from me than actually seeing me, it will probably affect my warm, fuzzy, I-want-to-bless-the-happy-couple gifting mojo. Uh, yeah. Me too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Within days of finding out she was expecting (and announcing it by posting a photo of the peed-on stick on Facebook), my niece started making plans for hosting her own baby shower. She didn't even give anyone the opportunity to host one for her. She apparently later read on a baby website that this was considered poor manners and expressed her irritation and views of "who cares about etiquette? I need stuff and am not going to wait around for someone to volunteer!" on Facebook as well, followed at various times with "I need ___ but hate ____ so please don't get us anything with that on it" gift request/demands. We sent a gift card that wasn't acknowledged in any way. I think it's partly a case of not knowing how tacky she comes across as—but mostly she simply does not care what is polite and what is not. Wow! :confused::001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildcat Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 (edited) . Edited January 6, 2023 by Wildcat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildcat Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 (edited) . Edited January 6, 2023 by Wildcat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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