I need something...maybe a hobby? (Emotional and long...)

[LinRTX]

Julie,

 

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! for your kind words and prayers. It has been so hard and I have felt like such a failure. It was hard for me to even type what I did -- I am a very private person so talk about my struggles to others much. I have tears running from my eyes as I re-read your answer to me.

 

Yes she is healing. It is very slow. We had to move her out for about six months to heal her and us. She comes home in two weeks! She is stronger. We are stronger and while everything isn't perfect (and won't be this side of heaven) we now want to work on healing the relationship even more. It is a long slow process.

 

I will be praying for you.

 

Oh, and I always love your desert posts!

 

Linda

[Julie in CA]

Two of you have mentioned chickens now. I even have a pen, and had chickens about 10 years ago. Something picked them all off, and I could never figure out what it was, or how it got to them. :ohmy:

 

I never replaced them, because I didn't want to lose them again. They were very fun though. Maybe I can think about it again, and figure out how to keep them safe.

[fairfarmhand]

I don't feel wonderful, or compassionate. I feel...gullible, needy, pitiful, and pathetic. I'm working on feeling wonderful and compassionate though, does that count? :001_huh:

yes, it does count!

 

And those 4 words that you used to describe yourself???

 

I used them about myself a few years ago when I was in the darkness myself.

 

as far as drawing...

 

I just started doodling. I drew weird little things in my sketchbook...a Coke bottle, a clothespin, a paper clip, a glass of water. I started paying attention to how things LOOKED, rather than how I knew they were shaped. I used pencils because it was simpler to think of shading instead of color.

 

I looked at black and white photos of stuff to help myself with shading. I checked out books at the library on sketching and drawing.

 

Here's a site that might help you a bit in getting started.

 

http://www.drawspace.com/lessons/

[J-rap]

I'm really sorry for what you are going through, and have so much respect for how you are dealing with it.

 

I have had my own struggles, and am slowly pulling myself out of a deep depression due to our own circumstances (see signature). For a long time I didn't have any energy to do anything, but that just perpetuated the depression cycle for me. Forcing myself to do even just a couple of things that seemed a little bit interesting helped pull me along to do even more. Once that heavy depression is lifted a little, hope has a chance to enter back in again. And hope gives you energy.

 

A few things I've been able to do that actually hold my interest right now and are fun for me are: getting into cooking again (after two years), but trying out new and different recipes; creating photo albums on Shutterfly (that has been a lot of fun!); going out for coffee with a friend once/week; watching lots of movies; and getting back into reading Scripture and other inspirational Christian books daily again (or sometimes I'll listen to sermons online, which maybe would be easier for you to do than reading). I KNOW that having a dog in my life would help a lot, but this hasn't worked for us yet since we tend to travel a lot, and my husband is still involved in a lot of various therapies -- some out of state.

 

All the best to you; I will be praying for you!

[BlsdMama]

, but I need help thinking of activities and/or hobbies that I might enjoy.

:bigear:

 

 

Make cold process soap.

 

Not kidding either. It's very therapeutic. It's for people who like to play with artistic flair. Visit the SoapDish (The Dish) forums. Layering, swirling, all with chemical reactions.

 

Or fiber.

 

Those happen to be my two favorite addictions.

[Julie in CA]

Maybe a cummunity college class? In anything that sounds remotely interesting. Or a craft/sewing class. I'm thinking something with some structure, but that would get you interacting with people.

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

I have taken community college classes in the past, and I would enjoy that. I checked our local community college though, and every single class is full. Well, except for Spanish 2 (I don't have the prereq), and accounting (definitely not my thing!). I'm sad, because taking a class would be my #1 preference in terms of keeping my mind occupied. Every few years I take a class or two, and my kids joke around that by the time I'm 60, I'll have some kind of a degree.

 

It looks like the days of college classes are over for me though, simply because the college is full. They even sent out a letter to incoming freshmen that they should not expect to get *any* of their classes in their first semester, or even maybe in their first year. :001_huh:

[Lawana]

I have taken community college classes in the past, and I would enjoy that. I checked our local community college though, and every single class is full. Well, except for Spanish 2 (I don't have the prereq), and accounting (definitely not my thing!). I'm sad, because taking a class would be my #1 preference in terms of keeping my mind occupied. Every few years I take a class or two, and my kids joke around that by the time I'm 60, I'll have some kind of a degree.

 

It looks like the days of college classes are over for me though, simply because the college is full. They even sent out a letter to incoming freshmen that they should not expect to get *any* of their classes in their first semester, or even maybe in their first year. :001_huh:

That just plain stinks. Would an online class do anything for you? Are there any community classes anywhere nearby? Not cc, but organized through a recreation department? And I think $5 for gas is a necessity for you, not a luxury you can't quite justify.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Scrapbooking helped to pull me out of a serious post partum depression. My friend forced me to bring some pictures to her house when ds1 was 4 months old. She forced me to scrapbook them with her. Now, I'm a scrapbooking queen, and I look forward to my scrapbooking weekend getaways more than anything else.

 

I highly suggest getting a hobby or doing something different. Volunteering is good, but choose wisely, because some volunteer options are heart wrenching and don't help with the depression aspect.

[Beth in OH]

 

Drawing does sound fun. How did you learn to do it? I know that when I was a kid, I loved drawing, though I don't know that I had any skill or talent at all. I guess that doesn't really matter though, and I seriously need to get past the idea that I have to be good at everything I put my hand to. That one mindset has done *so much damage* in my life, and has sapped me of so much possible joy over the years. :(

 

Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain, by Betty Edwards, is very self-teaching. Definitely worth the investment, and it's very eye opening about how we "see" things.

[KungFuPanda]

We do have a Wii, and that might be fun too, but I feel kind of stupid trying it when the kids are around. Why is it that the kids always seem to instinctively know what to do, and I'm always saying, "what am I supposed to do now?". :blush: We have Zumba for the Wii, and I kind of always wanted to try it. The kids never ended up interested. If I can just get all of my dc to go away and let me try it privately, without an audience! :glare:

 

Great choice, imo, but our pastor was unhappy because the therapist's listed methods weren't overtly Christian or Biblical. Our counseling sessions however, are very Biblical.

 

I guess I miss it a bit, but my dh pointed out to me that for my entire adult life I've really gone above and beyond in my service to others, including my family, and he wishes I would find some things that are *just for me*, without any intention or motive of serving anyone else for a while. I respect his opinion, and I think he's mostly right that for a time, I should probably not seek to serve anyone else. :001_unsure:

 

 

 

Make cold process soap.

 

Not kidding either. It's very therapeutic. It's for people who like to play with artistic flair. Visit the SoapDish (The Dish) forums. Layering, swirling, all with chemical reactions.

 

Or fiber.

 

Those happen to be my two favorite addictions.

 

 

Here's my two-cents again :-) I think your therapist sounds perfect or you and that your Pastor REALLY overstepped by calling and grilling him. I also think that you guys are doing something right, because your DH really seems to care and is saying the right things. Do something that feeds YOU.

 

I wasn't kidding about dance classes. Since you enjoy Zumba, you might be up for it. I've seen women who never danced in their lives, but secretly always wanted to, really come alive in bellydance classes. Not all of them care to perform EVER, but it's a way to work those core muscles that's a lot more fun and creative than pilates. It's OK to have hips and a belly . . . BETTER even. CA is bellydancer Mecca. There are probably a few classes near you. Let me know if you want help finding one. If something else interests you . . .zumba, flamenco, whatever, don't be afraid to seek out a class.

 

Another poster listed some other fun hobbies you might want to try. A dance friend of mine makes this amazing goat's milk soap. She finds it very relaxing. She even occasionally sells some at dance events and she usually sells out. Another dance friend is always knitting and crocheting something. She's even made a few of her own dance accessories. I see her at festivals parked in a chair by the stage just knitting away. The dancing excites her, and the knitting soothes her.

 

I guess my point is, if you have something specific in mind . . . Or even a vague notion of what you want, The Hive can probably help you come up with an idea or a local class for you. Just ask! If you lived in MD, I'd insist you come out and try one my classes that begin this week.

[Susan in KY]

Teach an illiterate adult to learn how to read. I did it and it is one of the stand-out experiences of my life. You will make a huge difference, and nothing beats that feeling of sharing the "a ha!" moment when an adult non-reader suddenly gets it. My student explained it by saying he used to live in silence, and then world began to talk to him—signs, fliers, books, newspapers.... :)

 

It is thrilling to be along for the ride as the teacher.

 

BTW, I just saw where you feel unable to volunteer, but if you find a way to do something you are good at and enjoy (not like cleaning bathrooms).... I think it does wonders for feeling depressed.... :grouphug:

Edited July 10, 2012 by Susan in KY

[tabinfl]

I am so sorry you are going through rough times, but you seem to be doing a wonderful job of continuing to put one foot in front of the other through it all. That's the hardest part, IMO, and as long as you're doing that you have the chance to turn your steps toward a happier place.

 

I've read a lot of great suggestions in this thread (I have been feeling a bit rudderless lately, so it's been a good read), I just wanted to add a couple of things that have worked for me in the past.

 

The volunteer work suggestion is right on. When life has seemed the bleakest for me, having the ability to help someone else (and to see up close how much worse things could be) has helped me immensely. I have also made some great friends this way, and gotten to know some truly amazing people.

 

There are tons of ways to volunteer, from sitting at home sewing or knitting to going out and building houses. If there's something in town that attracts you, but the gas money is a problem, talk to the organization and find out if anyone is able to carpool or give you a ride, or if you can be reimbursed for gas/mileage -- sometimes what you do is well worth the cash to them!

 

Another thing I would suggest is keeping a journal. When I'm down, I stop writing to-do lists and write 'done' lists instead. Seeing what I have accomlished pile up through the day gives me a lift. I also write gratitude lists. For a while, I made one every single day (even if some were repeats). The act of writing down those things I was grateful for was quite powerful, even in the midst of depression. There were some days I got stuck after "I'm still breathing", but once I started really thinking the lists could go on and on.

 

Hope you find something that clicks for you, and please let us know how it goes!