Marie131 Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 I ask b/c it has recently been brought to my attention that the people we invite/don't invite to our kids' birthday parties is offensive to my ILs. We used to have just a big family party with our 20-30 closest family members. My ILs didn't like the more distant family we were excluding. My youngest ds birthday is coming up and I'd like to just go camping to avoid all the drama :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 So they thought you should host more than 20-30 people for your child's birthday? Yikes! :tongue_smilie: Our kid's birthdays vary. We always celebrate w/DH's family - usually combined w/other birthdays. Sometimes they have a kid party. Sometimes they have a sleepover with one of their friends. We always do something special as a family. We sometimes do something w/my family, but my family tends to be more flaky about these things and I've planned one too many things where my brother and/or his family didn't show unexpectedly so I'm not excited to invite them any more. Anyway, I wouldn't worry a bit. If your MIL said something to you, I would just say you aren't up for that many people or that's too overwhelming for your child, etc. I personally like to keep birthdays a little more low key. These parties we go to where kids end up with 20 gifts are just way over the top for a child's birthday and I haven't felt that most kids necessarily can even connect and enjoy that many other people at once IMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theYoungerMrsWarde Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 (edited) Birthdays are about celebrating the child, not about what relatives want. :glare: If he's really into camping, and you don't mine missing out on more birthday presents, I say go camping. Happy birthday to your ds! :party: ETA: To answer the original question, our parties are small. We only have dh's tiny (6 people) family in the area, and we haven't found a local homeschooling group yet, we're the only young couple in our church, and I only have one friend who has kids, so our parties are 14 people or less. Edited June 7, 2012 by theYoungerMrsWarde Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GaHadley Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 we usually do cake and ice cream with grandparents and aunts and uncles. sometimes our closest friends who we see weekly. we don't go all out for that though. we let the birthday child take a friend bowling or jump city type place and a fun supper to celebrate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 BTW - camping is an awesome idea! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 My DD just turned 6 this week. Invitees were DH, me, and two younger brothers :001_smile: We went to McDonalds for lunch, out for dinner (was planning to stay home and do pizza but DH found out he got the new job he was hoping for so we went out to celebrate) then the kids had a "pajama party" were they got to eat junk, watch videos and sleep in the lounge. My DD said it was the best birthday ever :D So we do small but fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie131 Posted June 7, 2012 Author Share Posted June 7, 2012 Birthdays are about celebrating If he's really into camping, and you don't mine missing out on more birthday presents, I say go camping. Lol, he's turning 2 so at this stage he's pretty much into whatever we tell him :lol: OK, I'm really glad to hear that low key is common. That is what we've always wanted, but have always felt pressured. Huge parties are common in our neck of the woods. BIL usually invites the entire family, on both sides, to his kids' parties. They seriously have more people at their kids' birthdays then we had at our wedding. MIL always looks at me w/ a glare and a smirk when we are at BILs parties. Like she's saying "See...." :glare: I think we'll stick w/ the 20-30 closest family members for 1st birthdays only and after that, it's just a SMALL party or special day or whatever. I don't care about presents, they get way too much stuff anyways. If anyone is insulted, well that's their perogative I guess. Hopefully hubby agrees, but I don't imagine Mr. Introvert will mind one bit :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momof3littles Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 My kids can have a party or choose an "adventure" or activity. Both of my older two kids have had big parties before, but we've mostly managed to avoid them :tongue_smilie: DD opted to go on a business trip with DH last year (whole family went) and we stopped at the AG store in Natick for her to pick out her first AG doll. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommie_Jen Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 Mine usually don't get parties after they turn 1. We may do something very small with grandparents only. This year, when DS turned 5, he got to pick out special foods to eat and things to do. We may do a party every few years for him now that he is old enough to have real friends. My brother and SIL have 3 parties for each (2) kid each year. A friend party then a separate party for each side of the family. It's crazy. We all get along fine, it's just scheduling issues with that many people because it's so massively important that we all show up each year that they plan parties around our schedules. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest munchkins Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 I don't invite extended family but have had them invite themselves. Then I feel bad that didn't invite them. I'm not sure if it's about the kid's party though as about being included and seeing family. I think there are just too few occasions we get together. ___________ http://munchkinsandmayhem.blogspot.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sillymommy Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 For us, it's usually just our immediate family. Mom, dad, siblings, cake, ice cream & two gifts. If we happen to live near family(we're active duty military), we invite them. We rarely have parties with lots of friends, goodie bags, etc. Honestly, I don't want to spend the $$ to do that every year for every dc! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 We don't have birthday parties. We just have the grandparents over for cake and presents. I should say, we don't generally have parties. This year DD wanted one, so I invited 7 of her little girlfriends and we had a butterfly birthday party. That's the most I would do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 We let the kids decide what fun weekend trip they want, and it is usually cheaper than a party with less stress. Camping sounds like a great idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seeking Squirrels Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 We just had DD's 4th birthday party today! There were 7 kids around her age, 3 older kids (family or sib of a little). Total person count was about 30. We invited immediate family and kids DD knew. This was the first year we did it quite this way. For her 1st-3rd parties, it was more for us, honestly. We invited everyone *we* wanted to see and have see her which was mostly immediate family and our friends. Some had kids, some didn't. Of course DD was the focus, but she didn't exactly have friends at a year old to invite. This year was definitely more for her, so I invited the families of the friends she wanted to come. Some of our friends that have come in the past were not invited because they don't have kids her age, or even if they did, we don't see them often and DD doesn't really "know" their kids. The only people who came that didn't have kids her age were our parents, sibs, and my s-dad's parents. And honestly, next year I don't think her main party will even have that much extension to non-her-age attendants. It went well today, but all of the adults there without kids (10) just sat around the edge of things while we did planned activities with the littles. And the 3 bigger kids participated in the activities, but they were definitely too old for them. Not that I didn't enjoy having them all there, but 13 less bodies would have made things a lot less crowded, loud, and just busy. Next year I think we'll just have a family get together to celebrate, sing, and open presents with immediate fam. Her actual party (if we have one) will be for her and her friends, probably with a parent or two per kid still staying for another year or two. I can see having my mom still come to help with the party, but not a whole bunch of adults that will just sit around watching. Oh and I think 8 or so kids sounds like a good limit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom in High Heels Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 We generally do one kid per age. He turns 10 next month, so we will invite 10 kids. When he was 4, four friends. 5, five friends, etc. We made an exception for 7 and 8 because he had 9 friends in our immediate housing area (military housing). This year, since we've moved, we're going with 10. It just happens to work out that there are 10 kids he'd like to invite. If there were 11, I might think about it, or I might have him slash a kids he rarely sees. No way, no how would I do 25-30 people. If the IL's are upset, let them have a get together at one of their houses with cake and drinks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kolamum Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Um, we invite 2 families over. Generally nothing more then that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 I don't have formal "parties." I try to come up with something fun to do on or around the date, plus we have cake and go out to dinner at the person's favorite restaurant. Whoever wants to give a gift can come on over / send it with someone / give it next time we visit. (This would be my parents and some aunts.) My kids think they would like to have kids over for a birthday party, but their crowd changes too often. Maybe after they get established in their new school, which they will hopefully attend for 8 years, I'll try to include some kids in what we do. However, the way I was raised, that is far from necessary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craftyerin Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Well, my kids' combined bday party is this coming Saturday (they all have bdays in the same week), and we are inviting 6 families, all with 1-2 kids within my kids age range, who we play with regularly. We expect a total of 11-13 kids (counting mine). We have no family nearby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 No parties. I generally tell the grandmas, grandpa, and aunt/uncle that I'll have cake and ice cream at X time if anyone would like to stop by...very informal. We had ONE a couple of years ago and then realized that as 4-H leaders this was a very, very bad idea.. All of the kids in the club expected to be invited and we were not intending on having anything near that big. We invited a couple of kids from church, who did happen to be in the club, but the reason they were invited was that they were ds's very close friends from church...they sing together on the worship team with him and serve together in other volunteer capacities. The other 4-H families got miffed. I tried to explain that we didn't invite those two boys because of 4-H connection, but because the boys were friends outside of 4-H and served together at church. Nothing doing...apparently I was supposed to invite 17 other kids. BLECH! Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
---- Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macmacmoo Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 We made the decision that our kids would have a "big" birthday every four years. Every year we would have cake, ice cream, and favorite meal plus gifts. If relatives wanted to stop by thats fine, but no invites would be sent. As they get older a friend or two for a special treat (movie or putt putt etc). For the every fourth we would do a big party, pick a theme, decorate, have games, and invite a smorgousboard of friends and family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 We invite other children, not family. Around eight or ten is the norm. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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