ThePW Posted May 11, 2012 Share Posted May 11, 2012 I'm sure this is common and you've heard it all before, and I have read a little about it (mostly about much younger kids wanting to try school) but I simply wanted to share as I am very down about the whole thing today. So a very little background, I have a 1st and a 4th grader, they are in public school and have never been schooled anywhere else, and as public schools go it's really quite a nice one and they've had great teachers. I've never homeschooled before, and I never, *ever* thought that I would, but now we find ourselves about to leap into the great unknown. I was doing ok, and excited about the prospect until last night. Last night my husband raised the possibility of it with the boys, my youngest was delighted. My 11 year old look shocked, said nothing and then just burst into floods of tears. There were no histrionics, he was just very sad and as his mom it was very hard to comfort him. He said he liked school,didn't want to be at home and was worried that his friends would forget who he was and so on, it was heartbreaking to watch. :crying: Ultimately this won't change what we decide to do as I know he can't see the long term benefits and we can. But it really shook me and undermined my confidence before I've even got started :001_unsure: So now I'm sad too and being totally inexperienced in this area I don't know if there are things I can do when the time comes to make this a very positive experience for him. It will just be my two boys at home, there are no babies or toddlers in the mix. Any advice gratefully received. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
didadeewiththree Posted May 11, 2012 Share Posted May 11, 2012 I think he might come around. I pulled my then 5th grade son out of public school last year, and at first he didnt want to. Back then I didnt force the issue and actually told him that he had a choice, but that the younger two were definatly homeschooling. After playing up all the cool things we would be doing together, like the field trip, make our own schedule, things that would appeal to him, only known by us, he came to us and said he would like to try it. Maybe ask for his ideas and input but of course the decision is ultimatly yours to make. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayb842 Posted May 11, 2012 Share Posted May 11, 2012 (edited) Ds was very ready to come out of ps school. I was scared last year when I did it and so was Dh. Our solution was not to pull him out until the summer was over. We did our normal summer camps and stuff in the morning but we homeschooled in the afternoon. We were in a regular route and though nothing of it was time to pull him out. You might just give him a test run. Also try to plug him to other homeschool kids this summer. Edited May 11, 2012 by jayb842 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SebastianCat Posted May 11, 2012 Share Posted May 11, 2012 Change is HARD, especially if it means changing his entire routine and social structure. Try to listen to his feelings and be encouraging, while proceeding with your plans. He would likely have the same reaction if you announced you were moving long distance - he'd be losing friends, have to develop a new routine, etc. I would try to maintain some contact with friends from PS, while developing new friendships with homeschooled kids. Help him discover some of the positive aspects of homeschooling along the way, and he'll eventually come around. Get his input on some of what you'll study next year, plan some fun field trips, have a big "1st day of school" celebration, and get his buy-in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jilly Posted May 11, 2012 Share Posted May 11, 2012 I would try to maintain some contact with friends from PS, while developing new friendships with homeschooled kids. Help him discover some of the positive aspects of homeschooling along the way, and he'll eventually come around. Get his input on some of what you'll study next year, plan some fun field trips, have a big "1st day of school" celebration, and get his buy-in. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThePW Posted May 12, 2012 Author Share Posted May 12, 2012 Thanks everyone, this is going to be a bigger challenge than I anticipated, but I will take on board all your helpful suggestions, thanks again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 :grouphug: Change is hard, and the unknown is scary. Once he realizes that his friendships won't abruptly end, and that he'll be making new friendships, and that learning at home has its benefits - he'll probably adjust just fine. Give him time, and make it all as much fun as you can while still getting in the academics. Field Day Fridays always help! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 Why are you pulling him from the public school? I'll be honest - I'm not sure I think it's fair to pull children out just because the parent decides they want to homeschool; not when the child is doing well in school (likes the school, succeeds in the school, enjoys his teacher, and has a healthy social circle in the school). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThePW Posted May 12, 2012 Author Share Posted May 12, 2012 Why are you pulling him from the public school? I'll be honest - I'm not sure I think it's fair to pull children out just because the parent decides they want to homeschool; not when the child is doing well in school (likes the school, succeeds in the school, enjoys his teacher, and has a healthy social circle in the school). I concur, but we are not taking him out just because I want to have him at home or to fulfill any desire on my part to homeschool. I'd prefer if he was excelling in school, but he's not and he's coasting and not doing nearly as well as he could. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 I concur, but we are not taking him out just because I want to have him at home or to fulfill any desire on my part to homeschool. I'd prefer if he was excelling in school, but he's not and he's coasting and not doing nearly as well as he could. I would just tell him this and stay firm (as I see you will do). It may take some time for him to come around though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 I concur, but we are not taking him out just because I want to have him at home or to fulfill any desire on my part to homeschool. I'd prefer if he was excelling in school, but he's not and he's coasting and not doing nearly as well as he could. If that is the case then you just have to do as I did - make it as enjoyable as possible for your son and stay firm on it... but remember to be kind and maintain a certain amount of grace towards him on this. At this age you can't expect him to share your concerns, especially if all he sees is that he attends a nice school, with nice teachers, great friends, and is doing "okay" academically. Kids aren't known for being masters of their own education. I want you to know that I said what I said because I've been there - not because I was trying to be snarky. My daughter wants so badly to go back to school, and homeschooling isn't a hill I will die on, but there really isn't a good school fit for her right now with her learning differences (dyslexia). We have compromised by allowing her to do a sport we previously said "no" to and promising to be more active in the co-op we belong to. I'm not above bribery :D. Good luck and hugs. It sounds like you have legitimate reasons for pulling him out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThePW Posted May 12, 2012 Author Share Posted May 12, 2012 Thanks, no offense taken. I'd much rather carry on as before with them in school and me in My PJ's with a cup of tea watching "I didn't know I was pregnant", but all good things must come to an end I suppose. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamrachelle Posted May 13, 2012 Share Posted May 13, 2012 You've gotten some great advice so I won't repeat anything. We have a homeschool "field trip" planned in December to Disney World. It's great because we're going with a bunch of other homeschool families and will be able to hit the parks when it's not crowded. We love, love, love the freedom that homeschooling provides. It's always scary to step out into the unknown but I think your son will come to love it. There's something to be said for not having hours worth of homework after sitting in a classroom all day. BTW... where is MS are you from? I'm originally from Meridian. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted May 13, 2012 Share Posted May 13, 2012 He said he liked school,didn't want to be at home and was worried that his friends would forget who he was and so on, it was heartbreaking to watch. :crying:. I would go over all the ways he was going to get to socialize. Later I'd trot out all the fun things you can do. Does he like hands on science? Start hands on science fun this summer. Rockets? Chemistry? Reptiles? Give him something to be excited about. How about starting off mummifying that chicken? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted May 13, 2012 Share Posted May 13, 2012 My oldest was 11 when I pulled them out, and she had the same reaction. She absolutely did not want to be homeschooled. She thought it was the end of her world. Fast forward...she absolutely doesn't want to go back to public school. She likes being homeschooled. She has had opportunities and friendships that she would have never had if she were in school still. I did make an effort to keep her in touch with her closest friends (the ones I wanted her to maintain friendships with) and I also made sure we did a lot of fun stuff in the beginning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applesing Posted May 13, 2012 Share Posted May 13, 2012 Hugs to you, as I know that this is difficult. You've received some great advice. I think it's really important to listen to your son and show him that while you empathize with him, you and dh feel that this is the best decision for your family and for him. Make sure ds knows that you have made this decision because you love him. Preserve and build your relationship with ds through this. Perhaps your ds thinks that he will be staying home doing schoolwork all day, every day now that he will be homeschooling. Let him know that he will actually spend less time on school now -- if he works hard -- and will have more free time than before. Listen to his concerns and reassure him that you will provide plenty of opportunties for him to visit with friends. Once he gets used to the idea of homeschooling, perhaps he can help you select some of his curriculum, giving him some ownership over his studies. Also, when we pulled our dd out of ps, I tried to make homeschooling extra special for her. I was concerned that she would feel bad when the other kids went back to school. So our family created a "Homeschool Celebration Day" that we now have every year when we start school. I put together games, surprises, and special gifts for the start of our year. I surprise my children with a cake that introduces the theme of one of that year's subjects (I made Egyptian pyramids last August, for example :001_smile:). I decorate the school area. Some families celebrate homeschooling by taking their children out for breakfast on the first day of school. We also celebrate "Box Day" when new books arrive. Finally, the other thing that we have done --especially when we've hit a stumbling block in our homeschool -- is to pray over this endeavor. I pray that God will work in your son's heart and will draw all of you closer together through homeschooling. I pray that He will provide some homeschooling friends for you all, to encourage you. It sounds as if ds may have been surprised by your homeschooling announcement, and with time and encouragement, he may come around. Many blessings to you as you embark on this new journey! Lynne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThePW Posted May 14, 2012 Author Share Posted May 14, 2012 You've gotten some great advice so I won't repeat anything. We have a homeschool "field trip" planned in December to Disney World. It's great because we're going with a bunch of other homeschool families and will be able to hit the parks when it's not crowded. We love, love, love the freedom that homeschooling provides. It's always scary to step out into the unknown but I think your son will come to love it. There's something to be said for not having hours worth of homework after sitting in a classroom all day. BTW... where is MS are you from? I'm originally from Meridian. Thanks for your encouragement! I live near Columbus, but we are from the UK. You are right about the homework, I dreaded the daily ordeal of trying to get exhausted children to do 1-2 hours of extra work, then there was time for nothing else because they were so tired and it was dinner time by the time we were done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 The best thing about HS is that it's so much more time-efficient than PS so that means no homework. My kids' afternoons are free for group activities and just being a kid rather than completing tedious assignments only necessary because of the 1:31 teacher-student ratio in a classroom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThePW Posted May 14, 2012 Author Share Posted May 14, 2012 And thanks to everyone else who replied also, you have some great suggestions. I think that as we are not yanking him out mid year and there will be a couple of months before we start that he will come round. Already he has been asking tentative questions so I am hopeful that it will not be as big an issue once we start. Lynne, I appreciate your prayers, thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 I live near Columbus . . . :seeya: No advice, just saying hi. We used to live in Columbus. Wow--it's been about 20 years! Before the roads to Proffitt's Porch were paved and named. :D It was my and dh's first time in a small southern town (I grew up in Hawaii and dh is from New England) but we enjoyed our time there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily_Grace Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 I don't know if this will help, but, here's I made of my son's 4th grade year to show what homeschooling was like to those who thought we sat at the table all day with the shades drawn. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 I don't know if this will help, but, here's I made of my son's 4th grade year to show what homeschooling was like to those who thought we sat at the table all day with the shades drawn. :lol: Lily Grace, just wanted to say your video was wonderful! I watched the 5th grade one, too--one picture looked like Huntley Meadows...:D Anyway, thanks for the encouragement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Do you have friends who homeschool? If you make sure he has a few homeschooling friends over the summer and can look forward to some activities with them, this could go a long way. Right now, he gets out every day. He's probably imagining he'll never leave the house and that can feel depressing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily_Grace Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Lily Grace, just wanted to say your video was wonderful! I watched the 5th grade one, too--one picture looked like Huntley Meadows...:DAnyway, thanks for the encouragement. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :001_smile: I think the one picture was probably the pre-Alps over here. It's one of my favorite spots, I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamrachelle Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 My husband and I have lived in Columbus twice (I graduated from the "W" way back in the day...) I would pay $50 for a sandwich from Proffit's Porch right now. What do you mean they paved the roads to it?? That was half the charm!! We used to go mud riding out in one of the fields near the restaurant after it had rained. Good times!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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