I am in tears right now

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

He struggles so hard with the basics. :crying: He is almost 8. He still needs to be reminded with EVERY.SINGLE.LETTER.AND.NUMBER how to correctly form them. Where to start, what way to go- when to stop and go the other way. Every single time. :crying: We have been working on this for 2 years. He can not tell time for nothing. Not to the hour. Not to the half hour. Nothing. He just does not understand hours and minutes. He is struggling on lesson 27 of Horizon 1st grade math. That is 1/4 the way through the first 1st grade workbook. We are almost done with 1st grade and he is NO WHERE NEAR 2nd grade. Not even close. He JUST started a 1st grade handwriting book but he is not ready for it. I am about to go through K from the beginning again with him. I just don't know what else to do. He can not remember a thing but supposedly his working memory tested just fine. We can go over and over and over something and then if I ask him he just does not know. He does not know the number 12. He ALWAYS says 20. No matter what. At one point he could break it down to 10's and 1's and figure out that it was 12 but he can't even do that anymore. I am taking so much time from the other kids working with him that I feel bad because they don't get what they need. I KNOW he needs me right there though but they need me to. My K'er is basically learning from osmosis from watching me work with ds7 because I just can not work with him like I need to. I feel so horrible right now. :crying: I just don't know what to do. I am so frustrated. I just sent him outside to play because I don't want him to see me cry and feel like its his fault. I know its not. I just don't know what else to do or to try. :crying:

 

 

Sorry. Just had to get this out. Dh won't be home for quite a while and nobody IRL understands because they don't have a special needs kid. My mom just says "maybe you should put him in school" :crying:

Edited May 10, 2012 by wy_kid_wrangler04

[Parrothead]

:grouphug:

[Widdershins]

You're doing an incredible job working with a special needs child. Have you connected with other parents with similar children and similar issues? It might be one of those times to distinguish between what you think can be changed and what cannot be changed and what is really important. When it comes down to it, the most important thing (I think) is raising our children to be good people. The most important thing they need to experience is love of all kinds (love through touch, love through boundaries being set, love through loving looks, love through patience, etc) and it sounds like you are already doing the most important things. Perhaps leave off the things that are so frustrating for you and find things that he is good at and can improve on, even if they are not essential. Give it a month or two and try again and then reassess. You will be in my prayers.

[Mommyfaithe]

:grouphug:

[Bear23]

:grouphug:

It is difficult when IRL people just don't understand why some children don't fit the mold like others. I ended up putting my son in school and he is doing well and gets lots of extra help that I couldn't give him because I had others at home. He will continue this year and next but will be home educated again once stateside. PS could help even just for awhile.

[Gisele Marie]

My girlie has the same issues...age 14. Many tears have been shed on this side too. What has your son been diagnosed with? I'm curious because everything you mentioned our daughter has done or is doing. We are going to use Susan Barton's Reading and Spelling Program this year and Right Start Math with hopes of seeing progress. I'd love to hear more of what you've done/are doing. In the meanwhile let's pray for our children and give MORE hugs and smiles!!

 

Gisele

[jennynd]

:grouphug:

[The Bobby Soxer]

:grouphug: It's so hard on so many levels! :grouphug:

[LaraH]

So sorry. I hope you have someone to talk to freely and who will just listen. I don't have specific suggestions, just lots of sympathy. I know many of us struggle when our kids don't seem to be able to do many of the things that their peers are doing. What about backing off from "school" to give you a break from a while - TV/audio books?.

[MyLittleBears]

prayers to you! I hear your words. :grouphug:

 

 

 

Have you ever looked into Dianne Craft's resources? She has a testimonial on there about a severely dyslexic little girl. I think she was not even recognizing letters 5 minutes after being told what the letter was at age eight. She now in college! I'm not saying it is a magic cure but it may be worth a try. We just began doing some of her therapies and I think I already see at least some improvement.

 

 

ETA- I think it is wonderful that you are trying so hard. He is blessed to have a mommy that cares so much about his well being.

Edited May 10, 2012 by MyLittleBears

[PollyOR]

I've never had my daughter tested, however I can relate to your frustration a bit. I think my daughter was nine when she learned to count through the teens. She is 10 now and is finally finishing R&S grade 2 math. In December she was still barely reading on a first grade level.

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Don't give up hope.

[houseofkids&pets]

:grouphug::grouphug: It is so frustrating (and sad) when you watch your child struggle, especially when they just can't seem to master something no matter how much time, energy, and effort you put into it. I feel your pain.

 

You are doing more for him than you realize, so just keep plugging away (but remember to take time to take care of yourself too. I know - easier said than done). I have read so many stories on this board about kids making amazing progress, but it took a long time before things finally clicked. Those stories give me hope. Some days, it is just hard to feel that "hope" when we are here in the trenches, struggling away.:sad:

 

There is one thing you may want to keep in the back of your mind for the future regarding teaching your ds. My oldest ds just cannot do any math. He doesn't have any number sense at all, so we started with calculator skills. I still won't give up on the math because some day, he may have that light bulb moment and it will suddenly fall in to place. In the meantime, he is using a calculator to check his answers and to do harder math problems. At least I know that if he never "gets it", he will know how to use a calculator to figure out money, etc. He also can't read an analog clock, so digital is the answer for him. Again, I am not ready to throw in the towel when it comes to learning those skills, but I am trying to provide a way to compensate so he can function as independently as possible. FWIW, my ds is 12, so he is older than your ds.

 

I am so sorry that you are having a bad day.:grouphug:

[Heathermomster]

He struggles so hard with the basics. :crying: He is almost 8. He still needs to be reminded with EVERY.SINGLE.LETTER.AND.NUMBER how to correctly form them. Where to start, what way to go- when to stop and go the other way. Every single time. :crying: We have been working on this for 2 years. He can not tell time for nothing. Not to the hour. Not to the half hour. Nothing. He just does not understand hours and minutes. He is struggling on lesson 27 of Horizon 1st grade math. That is 1/4 the way through the first 1st grade workbook. We are almost done with 1st grade and he is NO WHERE NEAR 2nd grade. Not even close. He JUST started a 1st grade handwriting book but he is not ready for it. I am about to go through K from the beginning again with him. I just don't know what else to do. He can not remember a thing but supposedly his working memory tested just fine. We can go over and over and over something and then if I ask him he just does not know. He does not know the number 12. He ALWAYS says 20. No matter what. At one point he could break it down to 10's and 1's and figure out that it was 12 but he can't even do that anymore. I am taking so much time from the other kids working with him that I feel bad because they don't get what they need. I KNOW he needs me right there though but they need me to. My K'er is basically learning from osmosis from watching me work with ds7 because I just can not work with him like I need to. I feel so horrible right now. :crying: I just don't know what to do. I am so frustrated. I just sent him outside to play because I don't want him to see me cry and feel like its his fault. I know its not. I just don't know what else to do or to try. :crying:

 

 

Sorry. Just had to get this out. Dh won't be home for quite a while and nobody IRL understands because they don't have a special needs kid. My mom just says "maybe you should put him in school" :crying:

 

:grouphug:

[Dandelion]

I'm sorry you're frustrated and hurting right now.:grouphug:

 

I totally understand your concern about short-changing your other kids while you work so intensively with your DS. I feel that way frequently about DD, when I (once again) don't have time to work on something with her because what I'm doing with DS is taking hours longer than expected. One thing that comforts me is that she's learning other important lessons as she observes how I interact with her brother - lessons about patience, acceptance of people's differences, kindness, etc. I'm sure your kids are benefiting from watching how hard you're working with their brother, how you're not giving up on him, and seeing the power of a mom's love and dedication in action. Those lessons are important too.

 

I hope tomorrow is a better day. :grouphug:

[MomatHWTK]

Could you put away writing and math for him right now and work on easier memory building skills? Take a step back and really study how he best absorbs information when it's not "school" and see how you can use that information to teach him during school.

 

If it were my child, I would stop asking for feedback. My son often can't give me an answer to something he knew the day before. It's frustrating for both of us for me to try. Is your DS able to read at all yet? Mine was not really able at that age, but can at age 11. I won't say "it will come" because I know each child is different, but some things do come- eventually.

 

DS has some very strong areas, so I encourage him to move forward with those subjects. But, he is very anxious so I don't test progress. I can just see that he's learning and it is a huge relief! Whatever you can find, whether it's Legos, painting or kicking a ball in the back yard, give him something that he's good at and then watch him be good at it. :grouphug:

 

What I do with difficult subjects is to actually go ahead and teach my younger children. I keep everyone in the same room for the most part. Even though DS is reading and writing now, he's still in the room when I go over phonics and spelling with the youngers. If he understands the subject, he usually jumps in and teaches. When the littles do math review, DS is right there and gets the review too. Their history- he hears.

 

It is different for us because we have a much bigger spread, but I did the same thing when his little sister was learning her first lessons at 5 and DS was 8. As I mentioned Ds is reading on his own now and writing well. He does well in math up to a point- but there was a long break before things started to take off.

 

We did start treatment with medication for ADHD about 18 months ago- so it's possible that the ability to focus has helped him more than I realize too. Thinking about it, that may have been one of the biggest factors. It is just SO hard for them to get their brains to hold still and learn. :confused:

[RamonaQ]

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

I am so sorry. I remember getting to a point like that with my own ds....just so frustrated, completely lost in what to do and so discouraged. It was at that point we sought a diagnosis so that I could have more information as his teacher.

 

I hope today will go better for you.

[besroma]

:grouphug:

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

I'm sorry you're frustrated and hurting right now.:grouphug:

 

I totally understand your concern about short-changing your other kids while you work so intensively with your DS. I feel that way frequently about DD, when I (once again) don't have time to work on something with her because what I'm doing with DS is taking hours longer than expected. One thing that comforts me is that she's learning other important lessons as she observes how I interact with her brother - lessons about patience, acceptance of people's differences, kindness, etc. I'm sure your kids are benefiting from watching how hard you're working with their brother, how you're not giving up on him, and seeing the power of a mom's love and dedication in action. Those lessons are important too.

 

I hope tomorrow is a better day. :grouphug:

 

 

Thank you for this! I hope you are right. :001_smile:

[melmichigan]

:grouphug: It is hard to balance the needs of a special needs child with those of your other children.

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

I am very hesitant to give him a break because the regressions are really bad after breaks.

 

This one is my fault because we went to Mi on vacation to visit all of our family (they are all within 20 mins of everyone) and we haven't seen them for 4 years. I brought his school work but we were so busy we just didn't get to it. So- this is the hole I dug now I need to dig out of it. It just amazes me how much regression can happen in a week and 2 days :001_huh:

 

 

I do feel better after a good nights sleep. We will start slowly again today. Not the full day's worth I have been trying to do. I guess that was my fault too. I know he needs to slowly ease back. I didn't think, though, that it would be this bad after a week and 2 days. Thank you everybody for the encouragement! It truly is needed :001_smile: :grouphug:

[laundrycrisis]

:grouphug: I understand. It is frustrating, heartbreaking, and very isolating when nobody IRL gets what is happening and what you are going through with this child.

 

DS1 just turned 9. This has been his best academic year so far. Last year felt fairly hopeless. What made a very big difference for him was finishing vision therapy specifically for visual processing. Things just came together in his brain by completing that therapy. Before that, any kind of work that he had to look at made pretty much no sense to him. That was the first hurdle we had to clear. He couldn't begin to make progress on anything else, either academics or "issues" until that giant roadblock was taken care of. It was the one big thing that was preventing any progress in anything else. I don't know if you have had any professional evaluations done besides working memory. If you have been trying on your own for two years with very little progress, I would look into some evaluations. I would include a COVD optometrist even if his vision seems fine. Visual processing problems can mess everything up and cause problems that look like other issues.

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

:grouphug: I understand. It is frustrating, heartbreaking, and very isolating when nobody IRL gets what is happening and what you are going through with this child.

 

DS1 just turned 9. This has been his best academic year so far. Last year felt fairly hopeless. What made a very big difference for him was finishing vision therapy specifically for visual processing. Things just came together in his brain by completing that therapy. Before that, any kind of work that he had to look at made pretty much no sense to him. That was the first hurdle we had to clear. He couldn't begin to make progress on anything else, either academics or "issues" until that giant roadblock was taken care of. It was the one big thing that was preventing any progress in anything else. I don't know if you have had any professional evaluations done besides working memory. If you have been trying on your own for two years with very little progress, I would look into some evaluations. I would include a COVD optometrist even if his vision seems fine. Visual processing problems can mess everything up and cause problems that look like other issues.

 

 

He is going through Vision Therapy now. I hope that will make a huge difference for him!

[kalliemorgan]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

You poor thing. I wish I had words of wisdom, other than it sounds like you are doing all you CAN do for the moment. That is all you can ask of yourself. Knowledge of that should at least give you a comfortable pillow at night, but since it's your "baby," even the nights are probably long tossing and turning with worry. My hat is off to you. Keep up your hard work. It WILL pay off - whether it be with a clear conscience, with him finally "getting it" (or some of it), or both. And don't be too afraid or proud to ask for help from outside sources. We all wish that we could be all things to all people, but sometimes we just can't. My wish is that you can find peace with that, if that is the road you choose to be the best.

I wish you all the strength you need.

[Ibbygirl]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[VinNY]

I could have wrote your post 2 years ago. My dtr is 10 1/2 now and just began 3rd grade math. Things started to click this past year but she has memory and retrieval issues. We also did VT last year and started to get help from a special ed teacher for math in addition to her other therapies.:grouphug:

[sweetpea3829]

So sorry! :-( I understand...it's so frustrating. I just want to "fix" her so she doesn't have to feel the sting of the struggle. Her whole entire school day is a source of frustration to her. I hate that. It makes me want to unschool her, but we could definitely NOT pull that off.

 

Have you heard of Jump! Math? It's Canadian based and was spoken of quite highly from some of the parents in the yahoo dyslexia support group I frequent. We have begun using it with DD. It is VERY VERY incremental...which is what makes it great for her. We are using it in combination with Horizons (for the spiral review).

 

There are two versions of Jump! There is Jump at Home and then the Jump classroom version. Jump at Home does not have a teacher's manual...the Jump classroom version has the teacher's manual available for free online.

 

HTH, we just started Jump, but so far, I like it.

[sweetpea3829]

I am very hesitant to give him a break because the regressions are really bad after breaks.

 

This one is my fault because we went to Mi on vacation to visit all of our family (they are all within 20 mins of everyone) and we haven't seen them for 4 years. I brought his school work but we were so busy we just didn't get to it. So- this is the hole I dug now I need to dig out of it. It just amazes me how much regression can happen in a week and 2 days :001_huh:

 

 

I do feel better after a good nights sleep. We will start slowly again today. Not the full day's worth I have been trying to do. I guess that was my fault too. I know he needs to slowly ease back. I didn't think, though, that it would be this bad after a week and 2 days. Thank you everybody for the encouragement! It truly is needed :001_smile: :grouphug:

 

Oh gosh...I can so relate to this. We moved last year...I thought I had planned everything out so well...I prepared for three weeks off...two weeks for the move and then I figured the third week, we'd pick back up with some mid-year evals to see where the Bigs were and how much they had retained. Well DD pretty much needed to start over from scratch...I think she lost every.single.concept I had taught her in the four months prior to the move.

 

I try to be very cautious now, about taking time off...and if we have a busy week where I don't expect to accomplish much "school," I'll still put together daily review folders with handwriting and a math worksheet. Otherwise, I know she'll regress something terrible.

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

I will check out Jump Math! I got 2 workbooks from BAM last weekend (Spectrum Math 1st grade and McGraw Hill Math 1st grade) For now I am just going concept by concept through those. I am following the sequence of the McGraw Hill then we add in the problems from his Horizons and the Spectrum for more practice. (ex- right now we are doing all the simple addition from all 3 books, 2+5, 4+3, etc) So far so good. Off to check off the Jump Math.

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

Ok so I am looking at the Jump Math samples. Does each grade have 2 workbooks? So AP Book 2.1 is the first book of 2nd grade? Or does it not correlate with grade level? Also, what does the AP stand for? I am looking at Canadian version samples, is there a US version? Or is the other version in French?

[sweetpea3829]

Ok so I am looking at the Jump Math samples. Does each grade have 2 workbooks? So AP Book 2.1 is the first book of 2nd grade? Or does it not correlate with grade level? Also, what does the AP stand for? I am looking at Canadian version samples, is there a US version? Or is the other version in French?

 

The classroom version has two workbooks per grade level. In my opinion, so far, I'm finding the 1st grade level to be below what I would expect 1st grade to be...but then again, most 1st grade math curriculums review second half of Kindergarten work, and that's pretty much what I've come across so far.

 

There is not a US version....which means when it comes to measurment and currency, you'll have to improvise. The other version is French.

 

The Jump at Home version is still Canadian. I have both versions...there is a lot of overlap between the workbooks, but some additional work in the Jump classroom edition.

 

They do correlate pretty well, though.

 

I have no idea what the AP stands for. It's definitely NOT Advanced Placement.... ;-)

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

The classroom version has two workbooks per grade level. In my opinion, so far, I'm finding the 1st grade level to be below what I would expect 1st grade to be...but then again, most 1st grade math curriculums review second half of Kindergarten work, and that's pretty much what I've come across so far.

 

There is not a US version....which means when it comes to measurment and currency, you'll have to improvise. The other version is French.

 

The Jump at Home version is still Canadian. I have both versions...there is a lot of overlap between the workbooks, but some additional work in the Jump classroom edition.

 

They do correlate pretty well, though.

 

I have no idea what the AP stands for. It's definitely NOT Advanced Placement.... ;-)

 

 

So is this all I would need for 2nd grade? Is there a teachers manual?

[sweetpea3829]

That's the At Home version...which apparently is meant to be more of a supplement. There is NOT a teacher guide for At Home, but because there is so much overlap between the two versions, you could definitely print out the online TM for the classroom version and use it with the At Home version.

 

To order the classroom version (which is my preference), you have to call them. They do not take orders via internet (weird, I know). The information to order is here.

 

It's very inexpensive...$11 per book, I think...plus shipping. I think I paid a total of $30 for the classroom version, shipped...for 1st grade. And then I also ordered the At Home from Timberdoodle.

 

Next year, I will probably NOT order the At Home version...it seems so far like the classroom version has everything the At Home version does, and then a bit more. So far.

[swellmomma]

:grouphug: Hang in there. You know ds8 is still in book 2 of the horizons K math, he is still doing the K HWOT book, level 1 of AAS and AAR. He is just finishing up grade 2. He will not be doing grade 3 work next year despite his grade 3 level. It used to really upset me but he has made such strides. I posted recently on the general board the story he wrote. All by himself just for fun. That was such a miracle to me. I have been told we will be lucky to get him functionally literate, I have been told to not even bother teaching reading or writing right now, to do everything orally or have me scribe for him. But we kept on trucking along as slow as he needs us to be. He will be 9 this summer and he is just finishing up K level work. BUt he is doing it, he is finishing it, he is succeeding.

 

Find that with your ds. Do not worry about what level the book says, or what grade he is "supposed" to be. Work as slowly as he needs, celebrate every little step along the way. Ds can not reliably tell time, he can not tie his shoes, he can barely read simple 2-3 word per page readers but do you know what he did today? He t48 ook apart multiple broken bikes in the garage and is teaching himself how to rebuild them and repair them. He wants to have a bike repair business of his own before his 10th birthday and is determined to teach himself all he needs to know for it.

 

I am sure the is things your son can do that blow you away. A drive to succeed at something even if it is not writing, or telling time etc. EMbrace that, encourage that and just keep trucking with the rest.

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

That's the At Home version...which apparently is meant to be more of a supplement. There is NOT a teacher guide for At Home, but because there is so much overlap between the two versions, you could definitely print out the online TM for the classroom version and use it with the At Home version.

 

To order the classroom version (which is my preference), you have to call them. They do not take orders via internet (weird, I know). The information to order is here.

 

It's very inexpensive...$11 per book, I think...plus shipping. I think I paid a total of $30 for the classroom version, shipped...for 1st grade. And then I also ordered the At Home from Timberdoodle.

 

Next year, I will probably NOT order the At Home version...it seems so far like the classroom version has everything the At Home version does, and then a bit more. So far.

 

 

The link isn't working but I think I found it. :001_smile:. Do you know if there is a placement test?

[sweetpea3829]

There isn't, that I'm aware of. But it sounds like DS would probably start at level 2, if not level 1. I'd suggest flipping through the TM online for level 1 and see if he's covered all of those topics or if there's anything you want him to re-learn.