I am considering giving up

[summer]

I am big big big in to homeschooling, but I have been considering giving up homeschooling DD12.

 

Basically, here is the situation. She is at that age where she argues a lot. That is not a huge issue as we do discipline and all. But her little brother has special needs and I feel like I need to devote more time to him. That is not even the biggest issue though.

 

All her friends have been returning to school. I know that the last of her friends (there are 2 of them, they are siblings) will be returning not this fall but the next. She says she does not care if she has friends at all. But we literally cannot seem to meet other homeschoolers her age around here. Also, I am starting to have huge anxiety over how I am going to homeschool high school. I woke up last night in a huge anxiety attack with lots and lots of curriculum running through my head! I am serious....Latin curriculums, math curriculums, etc etc etc.

 

I have started to wonder if perhaps it is time to give up and push her in to returning to school. Here is the scope and sequence for the specific private school we would use (it is University Model so she would still be home most of the time) http://www.coramdeoacademy.org/content/brochure/manual.php#scopesequence

 

She really does not want to go. But I found when she really really did not want to take Tennis, once she started, she liked it. Ditto with voice lessons.

[lori in tx]

Summer

Do you think joining a co-op would help? I am familiar with the UModel school you are talking about it, one of the locations is run out of the church we have our co-op at. My dd is and was a lot like your dd, but since we have joined our co-op she realizes that the grass is not greenier (she thought I was being hard and tough on them). If you are interseted PM me, our co-op has over 100 families and lots of junior aged kids. Joining our co-op has given me the strength to know I can homeschool our kids all the way through.

 

I don't know the extent of your sons special needs but both my boys have mild Ld and my son especially has thrived. There are many SN kids at our co-op too, I have an asperger's kids in one of my classes and just love her to tears. I was really nervous last year too, with my dd entering 8th grade then, but prayer really helped with my decisions this year. My dd will be taking 1 credit in science and 1/2 credit of debate and 1/2 credit of pyschology at co-op they also have drama classes and many many fun things and serious classes too. PM if interested I do have to say that the mom's at this co-op have been more of a support to me than any support group, they have prayed for our family (with 3 moves in 3 years and dh being unemployed for a year), they have helped and completely paid for our tution costs this last semester and have made me love teaching my kids again. Fridays for us is great for the kids but vital for my socialization skills

hth

lori in tx

[elegantlion]

No advice only :grouphug:. You've just had a week haven't you.

[hsmom]

You might want to believe her on the friend thing. My ds is friends with kids that only go to ps. But he tells me that it is more important for him to stay home where he learns more than go back to ps.

 

You could try it, but she really might not like the ps ways of teaching and have a harder time. JMO

[Remudamom]

If she wants to homeschool, then homeschool. And that means the only argueing she gets to do is in writing papers.

 

Homeschooling through high school's no big deal. Just do it. There's plenty of resources and help out there.

[Sophia]

but I was ready to give up h'sing my oldest at least six times this past school year.

 

The only reason he is still home is because his dad put his foot down and said giving up is not an option.

And I'm really glad he did that, btw.

 

If you are looking to regain a vision and be encouraged, I suggest you contact CHEC (chec.org) and get a copy of Voddie Baucham's Friday morning talk "Family Discipleship". Shoot, if you can afford it, I'd get copies of all the keynote speakers.

Chec really tried to minister to families who are growing weary and encourage them to continue homeschooling/discipling their children.

Dh and I flew to Colorado from Georgia to hear Voddie Baucham, Kevin Swanson, Chris Klicka, and Doug Phillips speak and we are so glad we did!!

 

Academics are important to us primarily because as Christians, we believe all things should be done as unto the Lord.

However, I will admit I was losing sight of our real call-discipling our children-

as I obsessed over grades, books, high school, schedules,and on and on and on....blah!

 

:grouphug: I'm sorry it's tough right now. You're not alone ~ there have been days when I thought my head would explode and land in the neighbor's yard (I saw that in a cartoon once, and instantly identified with it!)

 

Ds will be taking online classes this fall that will help me have time for my little ones and keep him on track; he's even taking a summer class online to get the hang of it before the school year starts.

Is that a possibility for you?

[SnowWhite]

If you feel she needs more socialization, find a way to make socialization... volunteer work, an after school class, book club... but I would not send a child to school who doesn't want to go. Friends don't have to be homeschooled friends. None of my friends in my teens were also homeschoolers (Oh, I take that back, there was one who homeschooled one year).

 

She is at an age where you can switch her to a pretty independent school program if you will. I also agree that it's a good idea to disallow arguing completely. This is what she wants to do, so she needs to make it easier for you.

[Ohio12]

i totally understand that this would be a difficult decision. i am just starting off and not sure how long i will home school. i just had one idea for you though. there is a home school "school" in our area that lets kids come in just for some classes. (as many or few as you would like) this might get her out and around some peers. or is there a public or private school that would let her go and take math and science or something for a part of a day?

 

i don't think though, that if you want to try to send her for a year and see if she does well (ala the tennis) that you should feel guilty about that.

[TFJ]

:grouphug:I have been here on more than one occasion! What I have found over the years is that these thoughts usually mean that our home to social ratio is off kilter. If a co-op is not available in your area, how about classes in one of her interests? Chorus or some other group scenario. My eldest really wanted to be around other homeschoolers, so we sought out those types of activities, but my youngest has friends who homeschool, go to private school and public school. She prefers to meet people who share her interests. If your daughter spent a day taking some classes at a co-op, that may leave you with enough one on one time with your younger child, so that the balance feels better for all! Don't forget to take care of yourself, too!

 

TFJ

[Ferdie]

I have started to wonder if perhaps it is time to give up and push her in to returning to school. Here is the scope and sequence for the specific private school we would use (it is University Model so she would still be home most of the time) http://www.coramdeoacademy.org/content/brochure/manual.php#scopesequence

 

Hi Summer,

 

I live in Flower Mound and am wondering if you are nearby. I saw you post yesterday about the DFW heat.

 

We have many friends at Coram Deo and I can not say enough good things about that school. The students go twice a week and homeschool the other three days. From what I hear from my friend's children, I am most impressed with their writing program and classroom discussions. They follow the Classical approach. I would send my kids there if we could afford it.

 

Please pm me if you daughter is interested in meeting some children that go there. Also I highly recommend touring the campus. I know your daughter would love it.

[Sunshine State Sue]

She really does not want to go. But I found when she really really did not want to take Tennis, once she started, she liked it. Ditto with voice lessons.

 

My ds12 and I have just completed our best year of homeschooling. For years and years, he would argue. I always told him that there were many other things that I could be doing with my time (other than hs'ing and arguing with him) and that I wasn't asking for his thanks, but I did need his cooperation. I can not homeschool without his cooperation. It finally really happened this year.

 

OTOH, my ds is like your dd in that he does not want to try anything new. Often, when he does, he enjoys it. I think school would be the same. Good luck on your decision. The closer I get to high school, the scarier it looks.

[Alyce]

It's not uncommon to go through periods of doubt especially as they get older. For those of us that will be honest, we've all done that. Your dd is nearing the age where she can do more independent work. Find a math program with a DVD. Teaching Textbooks is really good for independent work and so is MUS. For History you can have her read some library books and do progeny press guides for the literature part. You yourself know how much curriculum is out there. Now as to the high school part, as a mom who just graduated a high schooler and has one more to go, let me tell you it really isn't hard. Both my kids work fairly independently and the only time I'm needed is to grade papers and answer questions. I do discuss their history and science with them though. As to keeping records, get a computer record keeping program like Edu-Track or Homeschool Tracker. You can put the grades in it and it will compile everything until you're ready to do your transcript and it will calculate everything and print out a nice transcript to send into the school. The other thing we did that made high school easier is that when my children turned 16 (that's the minimum age her) they started taking classes at the CC. Don't let fear gain the upper hand. High School isn't hard. As to friends, it really doesn't matter that they homeschool or not. My kids have friends through their extra curriculum activities and do fine. We do not belong to a homeschool group and have actually never missed it. You can do this. Just take a deep breathe and relax

[Mamasteff]

but I was ready to give up h'sing my oldest at least six times this past school year.

 

The only reason he is still home is because his dad put his foot down and said giving up is not an option.

And I'm really glad he did that, btw.

 

I can go one further - we actually went to the enrollment center, but I could not find her immunization record... so they wouldn't let her enroll! As the year ended , I am SO GLAD I did not do it.

 

I think it is wise of you to be thinking ahead and seeking out alternative plans though. I have a toddler at home and have felt this year as though she is getting shortchanged, so I can empathize a little with you there. Better to stop because you have a plan in motion rather than a hasty "your arguments make me crazy!"

 

I'm also glad to read that someone else's son has finally gotten past the arguing stage... maybe there is hope? Girls at this age seem to begin the arguing as a way of us wanting to help them leave the nest, I sometimes think.

[laughing lioness]

"Dialectic Stage" - just remember that as your 12 yo enters the logic stage they are developmentally hardwired to aruge :)This is why logic is taught at this time. To give the kids the rules and skills of aruging well (cause all of us with kids this age or older know how badly they can argue).

 

I totally agree with Remudamom - high school is not that big of deal- just do it. Find a high school scope and sequence and fill in the blanks. Get a big picture and then refine and adjust as needed.

[Denisemomof4]

Their friends seemed to keep relocating, and as the boys got older I found it harder and harder to keep them socialized. I've never really been big into co-ops or anything like that, I just wanted to get my kids together for socialization and FUN as we did our schooling at home! That weighed on me HEAVILY as my son was in the 8th grade. We did put him in high school, but I have huge regrets. He's going to be dually enrolled next year.

 

What I want to say is that you do NOT have to make a black and white decision. You can school all or some of the courses. There are MANY good online programs. There are just so many options. You just need to determine which would be best for your daughter.

 

And another thing to remember: NO DECISION IS FINAL. You can put her into school anytime, and you can pull her out as well, but only after she has gotten credit for the time she was there. My friend pulled her duaghter out of PS in January so she received half a year of credits.

 

Denise

[kribby]

oh hang in there, don't put her in ps if she doesn't want to go, get her into vol. work or something, church groups or the ymca there is alot of things out there.

[Melissa in Australia]

I have found that as soon as the children start to argue it is time to start logic. if they continue arguing, we increase the logic from once a week . it works a treat. instead of arguments, everyone is busy looking for fallacies, etc. ( including looking for fallacies in my arguments:glare:).

this worked really well with my oldest 2, the 3rd child has just started to try to argue, the oldest yelled out ' he has to start logic":lol:

[ticklbee]

The only advice that I can give is to just take it one day at a time. Don't worry about high school now. You have enough on your plate as it is. Things have a way of taking care of themselves. Worrying about high school now will not do anything for you except maybe give you an ulcer? :tongue_smilie:

 

But you know what is best for your family...don't do anything out of a sense of guilt. If you feel it is best right now for her to go to school...then maybe do so on a year by year basis letting your dd know that if it doesn't work out, then she can always come home. She may be more willing to go if she knows she has a way out.

[Cindyg]

Yes, I have a thought: Coram Deo is a HARD school. I mean HARD. Please do talk to some parents whose kids go there. It's not for everybody. The curriculum is rigorous. The pace is fast. You do not take days off to smell the roses when you go there. The three days you have at home are HARD! You don't dare get sick!

 

I'm not saying the school is no good. Like any other instructor-led school, it is great if it fits your child to a T. But if it doesn't, if it's too hard or too slow, or if the curriculum doesn't suit her, or if the schedule doesn't fit for your family, then it's going to be tough.

 

When my husband threatens that ds has to go to school, Coram Deo is certainly one of the schools I think about. But I really don't want to do it. It's just way harder than what we're doing now, (and I think what we're doing now is perfect for my son).