staceyobu Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 I am freaking out about having to go through labor again. I had my first in a hospital, then an underwater birth with midwives, then an unassisted birth. Now, we are going back to the hospital for #4. I am okay with the decision. I have a pretty natural minded ob, so I think I'll be able to drink and get out of bed some, but it is a very overly interventive hospital. There are no tubs to labor in or anything fabulous like that. I'm planning on staying home for the early part of labor to be comfortable (and by early, I mean until I'm 8cm hopefully). I have a potential doula if I want one. DH is usually very attentive. I think I just don't want to be in pain. :001_huh: But, I don't want an epidural either. I got hypnobabies, but the soundtracks are long and now I'm around 36-37 weeks, so I don't know if I have time to get back on track with that... Is this normal? Is this just an end of pregnancy freak out? Tell me it will be okay! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 lol, i'm pregnant with my third and right with you. Planning a homebirth, but not happy about the pain. I know it is do able, I know I will be fine, but still, I don't like it. For the first trimester every time I thought about labor I started to throw up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadianmomtofour Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 :grouphug: I know how you feel! I got more and more nervous with each baby and I was terrified for my fourth. My first two were hospital births and the last two were born at home. All I can suggest is to use your option for the doula. She can be a great buffer between you and the hospital wanting to push interventions. Also, as scared as I was, my fourth birth was the one I felt the most "in control" if you know what I mean. I knew what to expect, and I knew how I needed to deal with the pain. It was the most calm I ever felt in labor. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeegal Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 (edited) Is this normal? Is this just an end of pregnancy freak out? Tell me it will be okay! :grouphug: I had a rough labor with one of the births and was totally freaked out for the next one. Which was probably the easiest birth of all of them, and the baby had a 10-10 apgar. :D My rule of thumb: The early and more you freak out, the easier it is. Silly, but it holds true for me. Edited April 3, 2012 by coffeegal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. A Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 I was having the same feelings at the beginning of this pregnancy. The memory of my last delivery is still very fresh and I kept feeling panic every time I thought of going through it again. I have forbidden myself to think of it for now (I'm still pretty early on- I'll probably be thinking about it plenty as it gets closer). So the panic has not resurfaced... yet. :) I hope that the birth goes well for you and that when the time comes you find the strength and calm that you need to make it through. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrappyhappymama Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 I think it's perfectly normal! You've been there and done it before, so you KNOW what you're facing! It's a lot of hard work, no doubt about it, but just keep focusing on the fact that it's only one day. I'd definitely go for the doula option, especially since you know the hospital has a history of interventionism. And I'd encourage you to listen to your Hypnobabies every night. I know it can be hard to fit in with lots of little ones, but it definitely helps me relax and feel more confident going into my births. I listen each night as I go to bed, since that's usually the only free quiet time I have. Have you done the fear release yet? That would be perfect for resolving your pre-labor jitters. And listen to the pregnancy affirmations during the day as you go about your other business. That can help fill your mind with positive thoughts about labor and help push out the negative ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milovany Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 You can do it!!!!! Don't let yourself think about it, there's nothing you can do about what you have to go through (that thought always brought be comfort for some reason). Just trust that you were made for this and will come through to the other side just fine! When you find yourself having scary thoughts, start practicing controlled breathed (i.e., take breathing out of the automatic and into conscious breathing). When you are consciously controlling your breathing, you can't think at the same time. Pray/meditate instead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whereneverever Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 :grouphug: I am right there with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Tara~ Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 Perfectly normal, yes. You can do this. You've done it before, you can do it again. :grouphug: Now....deep breath... Think positive...envision your birth. What do you want to happen? If you're of the praying kind, pray toward that goal. And let it go. I hate that freaking out phase. I have to talk myself down. Hub helps, but I have those moments when he's not around too ;) Praying throughout my entire last pregnancy helped immensely. I knew what I wanted and prayed for those specifics. I wanted to be in tune, I wanted to be in control, I wanted to be 'brave', to not be afraid of voicing my needs. It was my most awesome birth! Still had the pain, mind you ;) But I felt like a different person in the midst of it all. Strong, confident, in control (as much as one can be when labor is taking over their body, kwim?) You've done unassisted before, you soooo 'got' this. You felt confident enough to go for unassisted previously. That shows you are strong and 'brave'. Channel that again...you're going to do fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Peach Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 Not to psychoanalyze you or anything :D, but it sounds like you are psyching yourself out because of your anxiety about having a hospital birth. I would recommend that you come up with a detailed birth plan and go over it with your doctor ahead of time. Make sure your DH knows it backwards and forwards, as well. This will give you some control and help to alleviate your stress. Something that really helped me with my third birth was The Thinking Woman's Guide To A Better Birth by Henci Goer. If you can get a hold of a copy, it may help to center your thinking. It helped me. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyto4 Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 You can do this! I have had four children, and it is scary at the end when you know what is going to happen. Near the end of my pregnancies, I would cry and tell my husband I didn't want to go through the labour and birth. He would look at my sympathetically and remind me that there wasn't any way out now. :glare: I would then talk to myself and tell myself that I have done this before and I was created to do this! And I am going to do this!!!! You can totally do this! Be confident and clear about your ideas for the birth, and remember always the beautiful baby that will be in your arms very shortly! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mchel210 Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 Sounds like you have a lot of great advice. My third was a natural labor with hynobirthing in the hospital. It was wonderful. Being a doula, I made sure and had one in the room and it was perfect. My husband is very attentive but a doula doenst take over your husbands role..they help you both in a different way. I highly recommend you have one. I found the best thing that helped me was realizing what the pain was doing and when you are prepared for any pains...you understand what they are doing...you can relax a little easier and let your body do what it needs to do. I think that knowledge helped me relax enough to allow the hynobirthing to work. I dont recall pain until the pushing phase....but it was so quick...I did a lot of praying and visualizing of allowing my body to do what it needed to do. I was able to get in the bath but maybe they will let you in a shower? My third was very fast and we left the hospital at 24 hours. I couldnt wait to go home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinivanMom Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 I always freak out near the end of pregnancy. All of my births have been natural births and my last one was at home, so you would think I'd be super calm or something. Instead, I always start to panic somewhere between 34-37 wks (which is where I am right now). I just look down at that huge belly and think, "Holy cow, that thing has to get out somehow!" I always calm down and everything goes fine, but I think it's a normal reaction once you get really, really big. My first 3 were at a high-intervention hospital. It was the best option we had at the time (no midwives and the other hospitals were even worse) and we had a supportive ob, but it's still a stressful situation to be headed into. A doula helps. Make sure your birth plan is faxed over to the hospital (with ob's signature on it) along with your prenatal records. Then when you call to say you are coming in, they will see your birth plan before you arrive. I really believe it makes a difference in whether or not you are assigned a tolerant nurse. Try to stay home as long as you possibly can. Check out as soon as possible. If you're lucky you'll only spend 24 hrs in the hospital total. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butterflymommy Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 I think I just don't want to be in pain. :001_huh: I had PTSD from a traumatically painful homebirth. It was my 4th unmedicated birth so I knew what I was getting into, or thought I did. Anyway, I had epidurals after that and it was amazing. It was a miracle to give birth without pain. If you wait until you're a good 5cm before you get an epidural, chances are it won't be up and running before you are 7cm (it can take up to an hour for the anesthesiologist to show up if they're in a c-section). Once the epi is in chances are you will fly through to the finish line., in other words you're just using it for transition and pushing. You will still be able to feel enough to push, you just won't feel pain. I believed all the horror stories I read about epis but none of it came true in my case... it was just beautiful to not have to worry about the pain and focus on my lovely baby. I've had 3 epis by this point and would never do it any other way. All my babies were pink, gorgeous, alert, and nursed well.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennyD Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 (edited) I think that freaking out at the end of pregnancy is not only normal but probably hardwired into us somehow -- birth is such a momentous thing. But you will be fine, and you'll do great. A doula sounds like a great idea, but I will add that I had all three of my babies in hospitals and by #3 nobody was trying to push any kind of unwanted interventions on me. They seemed to just assume that by that point my midwife and I knew what we were doing that my body would give birth just fine. With a #4 I'd imagine you might have to send out tracking dogs to actually find hospital personnel to help you. Edited April 3, 2012 by JennyD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
staceyobu Posted April 3, 2012 Author Share Posted April 3, 2012 Not to psychoanalyze you or anything :D, but it sounds like you are psyching yourself out because of your anxiety about having a hospital birth. I would recommend that you come up with a detailed birth plan and go over it with your doctor ahead of time. Make sure your DH knows it backwards and forwards, as well. This will give you some control and help to alleviate your stress. Something that really helped me with my third birth was The Thinking Woman's Guide To A Better Birth by Henci Goer. If you can get a hold of a copy, it may help to center your thinking. It helped me. :001_smile: I actually have this book, but I don't know that it has helped this time around. I feel like most of it is stuff I already know... don't want an epis, don't want to have to fast through labor, don't want early induction, etc. The other half is stuff that stresses me... ideal birth location, ideal health provider, etc... which at this point I don't really have an option to switch any of that. So, then I'm reading how obs and hospitals are bad... and I know that is where I'm headed. :glare: I do agree, though, that part of my anxiety may be the hospital situation in and of itself. I'm worried about the pain and not having the options to cope that I have had the last two times around. Thanks, everyone, for the sympathies! I feel better reading all the advice! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeegal Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 Anyway, I had epidurals after that and it was amazing. It was a miracle to give birth without pain. If you wait until you're a good 5cm before you get an epidural, chances are it won't be up and running before you are 7cm (it can take up to an hour for the anesthesiologist to show up if they're in a c-section). Once the epi is in chances are you will fly through to the finish line., in other words you're just using it for transition and pushing. You will still be able to feel enough to push, you just won't feel pain. :D I am really happy epis work for you. My sister had one and loved it. :001_smile: But it's not an option for everyone. I'm one of those women who have less than 2 hours from "uhh, I don't feel well. Better call the midwife." to " It's a ....!" It's always a bit of a race just to ensure medical care during birth much less an epidural or anything else. We've had a few close calls. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 :D I am really happy epis work for you. My sister had one and loved it. :001_smile: But it's not an option for everyone. I'm one of those women who have less than 2 hours from "uhh, I don't feel well. Better call the midwife." to " It's a ....!" It's always a bit of a race just to ensure medical care during birth much less an epidural or anything else. We've had a few close calls. ;) True that...Epidurals make my blood pressure drop to dangerous levels....to the point that not only did my son's heart rate drop and i needed a c-section, but they were concerned about my heart rate too..very scary. My sister is the same...she actually passed out from low blood pressure after her epidural, and the baby also went into distress and needed a c-section. So as much as I dislike pain, it's all natural for me. As soon as they invent a side effect free pain relief option I'm all over it!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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