TwoToSchool Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 I've been a home educating parent for (going on) 2 years now and I'm convinced we will never go back to traditional education. Sure, there have been some bumps and my 10 year old still drags her feet in everything she does, but I can already see the benefits and will never turn back. My family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.) feel differently and make it known. I can barely make conversation anymore, without their concerns about my kids being aired. My mother is convinced my children will fail in life and are already ages behind their piers. My father considers my school day a failure if I'm not sitting, holding each child's hand for 5 or 6 hours a day. Clearly they aren't familiar with what home schoolers are able to accomplish or really what homeschooling is even like. Please tell me I'm not the only one that has encountered this type of resistance among family. I know I'm doing the right thing, but my word...their are days that they come down so hard on me...I too question myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misidawnrn Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 Yes, I have dealth with it, from family and co-workers. I try not to get into a debate with them. It is what's best for my family...end of story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 "We are very happy with our education choices and it's not up for discussion. Bean dip?" Rinse and repeat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SailorMom Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 A better questions would be, "does anyone not dealwith this?" :) I'd say almost everyone here at some point has either had friends or relatives (or both) do this.... Hang in there. Don't discuss it with them. It isn't up for debate. Don't let them "quiz" your kids all the time, step in and stop them. Don't try to defend it, or explain it. Just go about it and teach you kids :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwoToSchool Posted March 29, 2012 Author Share Posted March 29, 2012 "We are very happy with our education choices and it's not up for discussion. Bean dip?" Rinse and repeat. Thanks for making me giggle:) I needed that after a rather exhausting discussion with my mother:/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stayseeliz Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 "We are very happy with our education choices and it's not up for discussion. Bean dip?" Rinse and repeat. :iagree: This really IS the ONLY way to deal with this. Letting them harass you over and over about it does no one any good. Your parenting and educational choices aren't up for constant debate. You know you're doing the right thing and that's all that matters! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 :iagree: This really IS the ONLY way to deal with this. Letting them harass you over and over about it does no one any good. Your parenting and educational choices aren't up for constant debate. You know you're doing the right thing and that's all that matters! I would add that after you have politely told them it is not up for discussion, if they continually knock your choice, you may need to consider explaining that you will not be able to be around them until they are willing to respect your decision. It doesn't have to be said in a nasty tone, just 'matter of fact'. You may have to actually follow through and stay away for a while. I almost had to take things this far with my mom, but she backed off. I was willing to do it if pushed, just for my own sanity. Years later, she is now a big fan of homeschooling and is one of my biggest encouragers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 Yes, I've dealt with it, and initially just cut down on my contact with those who questioned our way of life, putting time and energy instead into making sure my kids education was far, far superior to anything they might get at any school. After almost three years my efforts are beginning to bear fruit. DH never holds back in boasting about how well the boys are doing in their various subjects, ending with "and C loves Latin, you know", which invariably leaves these people open-mouthed. The proof of the pudding ... and all that. Just hold on in there. Some of the people who criticised me at first are now eating their words. Cassy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 A better questions would be, "does anyone not dealwith this?" :) I didn't deal with it. Of course one parent was long dead as were most other relatives...the other was 78 years old and needed my assistance when the time for first grade came and spouse's parents were retired thousands of miles away. So have your kids when you are OLD!:D Oh, wait....:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkle Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 Yes, just say, "Thanks for your concern, but we've made the best choice for our family, and it's working out just fine", and change the subject. I try never to debate it or argue with people. And I send out a Christmas letter every year (insert rolling-eyes smiley) detailing all my kids' involvement in volunteer and extra-curricular activities. Ya know, just so everyone knows that I let them out of the house once in a while :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brehon Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 Thanks for making me giggle:) I needed that after a rather exhausting discussion with my mother:/ Don't discuss, don't debate, don't defend...all that does is let your rellies know that it is open season on your decision. The above suggestion for dealing with your relatives is a variation on what many people have said. For your own sanity put boundaries in place and enforce them. Not meanly, but in a matter of fact way. It won't be easy at first and you may need to temporarily enforce the consequences you decide on; but, it will help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKidAcademy Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 My father considers my school day a failure if I'm not sitting, holding each child's hand for 5 or 6 hours a day. Clearly they aren't familiar with what home schoolers are able to accomplish or really what homeschooling is even like. Clearly your father, at least, has no idea what public school is like. Exactly how much time is spent hand-holding in the regular classroom? :001_rolleyes: Okay, pass the bean dip please. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 Sometimes family members need a little "time out" to get the point. You just stop the conversation and let them go without contact for a bit and they learn. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharon37127 Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 My husband has threatened to give family members a list of homeschool books (including TWTM) to read before they are aloud to mention the word- homeschooling- around us anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tristangrace Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 My husband has threatened to give family members a list of homeschool books (including TWTM) to read before they are aloud to mention the word- homeschooling- around us anymore. Wow--I LIKE that idea. If they are people who otherwise are decent folks whose opinions you respect, it seems like a very good way to sort out relatives who are truly invested in your kids from those who just enjoy giving advice. On the other hand, I guess you need to be sure it's not a bluff--if they read the books and still want to apply pressure, it's hard to shut down a discussion you invited. Maybe you could make it real looooooooooooooooooong book list! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali in OR Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 Honestly, I have never had to deal with this. I've never had a negative comment from any relative, friend, or acquaintance. Seems most people I've met have homeschooled or considered it or have a close friend or relative who homeschools. They understand and are supportive. I'm also wondering if the west coast is maybe a little more laid back than other places. A do-whatever-you-want-to-do kind of place. So maybe you could move to Oregon? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laundrycrisis Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 ..their are days that they come down so hard on me...I too question myself. You need to step up and cut them off at the pass, harshly, at the first word. Tell them the subject is not open for discussion. If they persist, change the subject. Over and over and over again if necessary. Stare them down. Don't see them for a while until they get it. Sometimes this is what it takes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TKDmom Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 I "happened" to leave a copy of TWTM out on my coffee table once when my dad was visiting. He always picks up whatever reading material is at hand. He spent an hour or two flipping through it one afternoon, and has never brought up homeschooling again, except to occasionally ask how it's going. That may not work for you, but it was an easy way for me to diffuse the tension without getting into any discussions that I'd rather avoid. I'm not sure that my dad approves of my homeschooling, but at least he knows I have a plan (a good one at that ;)). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 Please tell me I'm not the only one that has encountered this type of resistance among family. I know I'm doing the right thing, but my word...their are days that they come down so hard on me...I too question myself. You are sooo not the only one. When I first pulled my kids out of Kinder my dad didn't speak to me for a year. (It was a peaceful year I should add!! :)). I think putting my foot down on the whole homeschooling issue matured me. I changed as a person and I think it comes down to that. Putting your foot down and telling them to talk to a therapist or their priest or pastor about the situation -- but not you. Period. Alley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paintedlady Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 If I encountered anyone in my life who was that negative, I simply would not engage in conversation about the topic--AT ALL. You don't owe anyone an explanation of what you're doing or how your days go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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