SunD Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I'll start at the beginning. DH is only home one week per month. Yesterday was his first day home. MIL called bright and early not to welcome him home, but to ask him to bring a bed from her house to his brother's house today. He agreed, thinking we could load it up in his truck and then go eat lunch for my birthday. His brother's house is 45 minutes away, in the direction of "town". Well, since I"m here posting, you know that didn't happen. His truck is too dirty to carry her precious bed. (It's a WORK TRUCK!) She wanted to take her truck. I would only get in a vehicle with this woman if I had super-strength headphones, so I was going to send the girls with DH and stay here with the baby. Two hours of my birthday wasted, but oh well. BIL's MIL is going to need this bed so she can stay at their house after hip surgery, so I won't begrudge them that. It's not their fault MIL is so messed up. But the girls didn't go either. I moved both carseats into her truck because she admits she "doesn't know how to do all that junk". She then started ranting at me about how DD1 is big enough to sit in this booster, blah blah. She's talking about a BACKLESS booster seat. I shut her down quickly with that by saying that she is not big OR old enough according to state law and we could not afford to pay a ticket. Fight averted. Then she went back inside and came out with a huge fluffy blanket "for DD2's carseat". She wanted to fold it up and put it under the carseat, between the truck seat and the bottom. She was complaining I had it so tight that she couldn't lift it to shove the blanket under there. I said, "Well, yeah, it's not supposed to move against the seat. It would not be safe to put that blanket under there." She said, not "Oh, I didn't know!", but "I have to! It's going to make marks on the leather!" :001_huh: I tried again. "It is not safe to put a big fluffy blanket under the carseat. It can't slide around on the truck seat. It has to be tight to be safe." She said, "Well I can't let it tear my leather." and took the whole thing out of the truck. So now I'm the meanie who won't let DD2 go with her daddy on one of his only days home. :glare: I told DD1 to get out as well, because DD2 was crying and that wouldn't be fair. So they're both here. Just a few minutes ago DH called me to say they were there, and mentioned that "Mom wanted to bring it today because Brother is coming home from Biloxi tomorrow." Excuse me? What? "Yeah, they're on vacation. No, I didn't know that either." Oh. my. word. I stupidly assumed he couldn't come get it himself because he was, you know, working. I am ready to throttle this woman. You have my husband cart a bed to your favorite son's house, on his wife's birthday and one of his few days home this month, after picking a fight over carseats and truck leather, and the favorite son who wants this bed is ON VACATION!? Happy birthday to me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsBasil Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Hope it gets better! Happy Birthday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: I am thinking you screen calls for the duration of his time home and pretend tomorrow is really your birthday and start all over. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Well, no offense, but if I were you, I'd be more upset with my dh than my mil. Yes, your mil sounds like a difficult person. But your dh should have told her that no, he couldn't do it today, because it is your birthday and he is spending it with you. Perhaps he could have gone tomorrow instead. Either way, :grouphug:. Hope your day improves! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvnlattes Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 That really stinks! :grouphug: :grouphug: Hope your day gets better when your hubby's back home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 :grouphug: My MIL threw a wrench in my birthday plans this week too, then cancelled when it was too late for me to make other plans. I'm doing a day in lieu next week. Sounds like yours and mine would get along fabulously. Happy Birthday :) I hope your day picks up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I agree with Bethany. I would tell him, too, but very nicely. "Honey, next year, if DMIL wants you to do anything on my birthday, just say no, I'm busy all day. I will do it the following day." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaKinVA Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I'm sorry...:grouphug: I know how you feel. I really, really do. I hope your birthday gets better... and that you get some special time with your dh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Can I just say here that one of the things that I personally have benefitted from on this board is getting to know how genuinely mean a lot of people are? I have known mean people and have always been really startled by mean behavior, but it's gotten much easier to accept after reading about so much of it here. It nice to know that I'm not alone, although in my case it's family of origin meanness rather than in-law meanness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunD Posted February 23, 2012 Author Share Posted February 23, 2012 Well, no offense, but if I were you, I'd be more upset with my dh than my mil. Yes, your mil sounds like a difficult person. But your dh should have told her that no, he couldn't do it today, because it is your birthday and he is spending it with you. Perhaps he could have gone tomorrow instead. Either way, :grouphug:. Hope your day improves! I'm pretty upset with him too, but I couldn't take him in a fight. :tongue_smilie: And to be fair, she didn't pull any of this (his truck is too dirty, he can't drive her truck, etc) until this morning. If it had been a nuclear family trip that included a birthday lunch for me, like he planned, I would have been happy to drop off the bed. DH had already texted his brother last night and confirmed that he would bring it today because BIL's MIL is coming home from the hospital tomorrow. He hates to go back on a promise. And BIL's MIL who will be using the bed tomorrow is a nice lady ... it's not her fault and she does need it to be there tomorrow morning. I'm calming down by reminding myself of that. I feel a good deal better already now that I got all this out! MIL is crazy, BIL is weird, but I will help his MIL anyway because she has always been nice to us. I'm trying to view it as a favor to her that MIL just got in the way of. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I'm pretty upset with him too, but I couldn't take him in a fight. :tongue_smilie: LOL :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nono Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I'm pretty upset with him too, but I couldn't take him in a fight. :tongue_smilie: :lol::lol::lol: Good for you for keeping your sense of humor through this! I'm sorry for your disappointment, esp. since it wad directly caused by you-know-who being a PITA! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Oh my! I'm sorry. I believe that if your birthday gets messed up you should get a two day celebration in its stead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Oh my! I'm sorry. I believe that if your birthday gets messed up you should get a two day celebration in its stead. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Time to retrain MIL, get her a mover and handyman's phone #, and learn to ignore her calls. Shared DNA does not equal diplomatic immunity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 And BIL's MIL who will be using the bed tomorrow is a nice lady ... it's not her fault and she does need it to be there tomorrow morning. I'm calming down by reminding myself of that. I feel a good deal better already now that I got all this out! MIL is crazy, BIL is weird, but I will help his MIL anyway because she has always been nice to us. I'm trying to view it as a favor to her that MIL just got in the way of. And this is evidence that you are a nice person. I hope you're still able to have a lovely birthday. I truly hope these stories stick in my brain for when I'm a MIL someday. Maybe all these cautionary tales of selfish, thoughtless, demanding, or otherwise entitlement-minded inlaws (or even generally pleasant inlaws with a few bad moments) will at least make things better for the next generation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Ugh! I hope the rest of your birthday gets better. I'm sure your dh feels bad too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Well, no offense, but if I were you, I'd be more upset with my dh than my mil. Yes, your mil sounds like a difficult person. But your dh should have told her that no, he couldn't do it today, because it is your birthday and he is spending it with you. Perhaps he could have gone tomorrow instead. Either way, :grouphug:. Hope your day improves! :iagree: I hope you have a good day once your dh is done with his mother.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessReplanted Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Well, no offense, but if I were you, I'd be more upset with my dh than my mil. Yes, your mil sounds like a difficult person. But your dh should have told her that no, he couldn't do it today, because it is your birthday and he is spending it with you. Perhaps he could have gone tomorrow instead. Either way, :grouphug:. Hope your day improves! :iagree: I'm sorry you are having such a crummy day. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Any chance of a "re-do" celebration on another day -- with no MIL in sight?? ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I'm so sorry! Your MIL sounds like a real jewel.;) Hang in there and Happy Birthday! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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