OT- Wedding - cash only gifts

[Unicorn.]

Whatever. I know it is tacky in a Ms. Manners sort of way but I don't care. I like knowing that the gift I send will be appreciated. Honestly, what is wrong with being open and honest about what kind of gift is needed?

 

Because it's rude to ask for a gift at all, that's why. It's different if someone asks what they want or need, but to specifically ask for a gift is rude.

[Unicorn.]

I know that others will chime in and say that it is a new "normal" and they are seeing similar types of invitations, BUT... I still think that it is incredibly tacky, rude and obnoxious.

 

sorry, pet peeve :leaving:

 

:iagree:

[mytwomonkeys]

What about the engagement party? Not many (any?) people that I know have engagement parties. But when one does, is it expected that you'll bring a gift both to that and the wedding?

 

Not a big fan of the whole idea of an engagement party, but . . . Just curious.

 

okay. i actually would not bring a gift to an engagement party. that is a celebration/announcement only. gifts will come from their registry for their showers and wedding. at least IME this has been the case.

[dansamy]

My niece is going to attend college away from home. Her grandmother on the other side of the family wants to host a "shower" for her to supply her dorm room with necessities. I told her that I would give this niece a gift for her birthday (in April) and graduation (in May), but a completely separate "shower" is in poor taste. Going away to college doesn't warrant a "shower".

[funschooler5]

My first OT - the word "tacky" - for me it's in the same category as slacks or panties or what have you. Blech :tongue_smilie:

 

First things first - I do NOT think that these two things are the same:

 

1. No gifts please (on a birthday invitation).

2. Cash only (on a wedding invitation).

 

NOT. THE. SAME. THING. AT ALL.

 

One is saying "please just come have fun with us" and the other is saying "please come have fun with us, but bring your money too". How are people thinking these are equally bad??? Seriously? I might be sensitive because I started the most recent "please no gifts for a birthday party" thread, but seriously? How are these even in the same category?

 

I didn't have a big wedding. In fact, my husband and I got married, by ourselves, in a little Vegas chapel. I cannot imagine having a big expensive wedding (or any wedding at all) and then inviting to come (never mind it IS expensive to even just come to a wedding - people spend a fortune to go to a wedding) and then to ask for money on top of that? It's crazy. Besides which, in this day and age, people usually just bring money to a wedding anyway. Asking for it is just asking for trouble.

 

But if someone put "Please no gifts, we just want your company at our wedding" that wouldn't be offensive to me. I don't know, maybe I'm just crazy!

 

I wouldnt say that it's as bad as asking for money/gifts, because it's obvious that your intentions are good. I think it's just that a lot of people enjoy giving gifts, so you might be taking away some of the guests' fun. Sometimes people plan a fun gift ahead of time if they know that there is an anniversary or retirement coming up...tickets to an event, or something handmade. Also, there is just that slight hint that someone may have received a gift in the past that they didn't like and they don't want to do that again.

[cindergretta]

maybe for you, but *I* would feel rude coming empty handed. honestly, i just would feel completely weird if i attended a party with nothing in hand, unless it was requested. there is no reason that i should not bring a gift, especially since i can afford it. i am speaking from my personal feelings here; i'm not saying you attending dinner without flowers is rude - or any other event for that matter. i am speaking from my own social etiquette and upbringing and how i respond to invitations.

 

Ok. I thought we were discussing what is generally considered rude or not, not what makes an individual feel rude. So while you may feel rude to not offer a gift, it isn't considered (in a general sense) to be rude.

[LMA]

What about the engagement party? Not many (any?) people that I know have engagement parties. But when one does, is it expected that you'll bring a gift both to that and the wedding?

 

Not a big fan of the whole idea of an engagement party, but . . . Just curious.

 

The proper etiquette is that you do not have to bring a gift for an engagement party. If you attend a shower or wedding, the proper etiquette is to bring a gift.

[mytwomonkeys]

Ok. I thought we were discussing what is generally considered rude or not, not what makes an individual feel rude. So while you may feel rude to not offer a gift, it isn't considered (in a general sense) to be rude.

 

yes. agreed. i certainly do not police events looking for non-gift givers. it's none of my business whatsoever, and if someone came to something empty handed i would never ponder as to why.

[LMA]

My first OT - the word "tacky" - for me it's in the same category as slacks or panties or what have you. Blech :tongue_smilie:

 

First things first - I do NOT think that these two things are the same:

 

1. No gifts please (on a birthday invitation).

2. Cash only (on a wedding invitation).

 

NOT. THE. SAME. THING. AT ALL.

 

One is saying "please just come have fun with us" and the other is saying "please come have fun with us, but bring your money too". How are people thinking these are equally bad??? Seriously? I might be sensitive because I started the most recent "please no gifts for a birthday party" thread, but seriously? How are these even in the same category?

 

I didn't have a big wedding. In fact, my husband and I got married, by ourselves, in a little Vegas chapel. I cannot imagine having a big expensive wedding (or any wedding at all) and then inviting to come (never mind it IS expensive to even just come to a wedding - people spend a fortune to go to a wedding) and then to ask for money on top of that? It's crazy. Besides which, in this day and age, people usually just bring money to a wedding anyway. Asking for it is just asking for trouble.

 

But if someone put "Please no gifts, we just want your company at our wedding" that wouldn't be offensive to me. I don't know, maybe I'm just crazy!

 

Honestly, the proper etiquette is not to mention gifts at all on any invitations. So asking for no gifts and asking for cash as gifts on an invitation should not be done.

[5kidsforME]

I think it is tacky, inappropriate and rude to specifically ask for a a certain gift. What they do with the gift you give is up to them.

 

Then again i think it is childish, surly, and petty to be upset when the couple actually uses the money to their discretion. I mean seriously, someone here is upset if the couple chooses to use the money on their honeymoon?? :confused: Why? Once you give your gift of money, why are you even concerned about how/where they use it? Is your money so righteous that it needs a righteous ending??

[orangearrow]

totally tacky. Any mention of gifts anywhere NEAR a wedding invitation is tacky. Gift registration cards tucked into the invitation are tacky too. :ack2:

 

I don't have any problem with the request itself (it's quite practical). However, that is the job of the mother(s), best friend(s), bridesmaid(s), sibling(s). They should pass along the sentiment to anyone *who asks* them, "What would Cheryl and Ethan like for a wedding gift?" THIS is the only appropriate time to ever mention a gift registration or cash preference.

 

*shivers at the tackiness* :scared:

[cindergretta]

Is your money so righteous that it needs a righteous ending??

 

:lol: That just made me spit my juice! :lol:

[funschooler5]

Actually, the invitation to an event implies that you desire the presence of the invitee, not their presents. It's not really rude per se to attend without a gift. You're attending a party, a celebration. Now, attending a shower empty-handed is indeed tacky. If I attend the shower, I do not bring another gift to the wedding.

 

:iagree:

 

And *technically* you're not supposed to bring gifts to the actual wedding, but send them after. Nobody does that anymore though.

[5kidsforME]

:lol: That just made me spit my juice! :lol:

 

 

:tongue_smilie:

[dansamy]

:iagree:

 

And *technically* you're not supposed to bring gifts to the actual wedding, but send them after. Nobody does that anymore though.

 

Yes. Then the couple leaving the reception hall and going straight to the airport have to assign *someone* to be in charge of getting the gifts to their home. Then, you end up with "my mother(-in-law) opened my wedding gifts while we were on the honeymoon" type threads!

[Paisley Hedgehog]

nm

[Moxie]

:iagree:

 

And *technically* you're not supposed to bring gifts to the actual wedding, but send them after. Nobody does that anymore though.

 

I think this is kind of my point. These things change. People are busier now. No one goes to a wedding without a gift. I think it is okay to let go of some of these random rules.

[funschooler5]

I think it is tacky, inappropriate and rude to specifically ask for a a certain gift. What they do with the gift you give is up to them.

 

Then again i think it is childish, surly, and petty to be upset when the couple actually uses the money to their discretion. I mean seriously, someone here is upset if the couple chooses to use the money on their honeymoon?? :confused: Why? Once you give your gift of money, why are you even concerned about how/where they use it? Is your money so righteous that it needs a righteous ending??

 

:iagree: and :lol:

 

Once you give a gift it's up to the recipient what to do with it. If somebody wants their money to go to something specific, they should just buy that item for the couple instead.

 

To go off on a tangent, in the past I've received a couple of free books from other homeschoolers on the condition that "You don't sell it." First of all, I was not going to sell it, and second of all, :001_huh:. What is an appropriate amount of time to keep the book? If my child outgrows it, is it ok to pass it along to someone else? When I give a gift, that's it, I don't care what you do with it. Hopefully you like it, but please don't tell me if you don't! :lol:

[PeacefulChaos]

I think it is tacky, inappropriate and rude to specifically ask for a a certain gift. What they do with the gift you give is up to them.

 

Then again i think it is childish, surly, and petty to be upset when the couple actually uses the money to their discretion. I mean seriously, someone here is upset if the couple chooses to use the money on their honeymoon?? :confused: Why? Once you give your gift of money, why are you even concerned about how/where they use it? Is your money so righteous that it needs a righteous ending??

 

I'm pretty old fashioned - when I received money for graduation, it was from older aunts and uncles and it included things like, 'Was thinking you could use this to buy a new blanket for your dorm room!' and the like. Then, when we got married, it never even occurred to me to use any money given to us at our wedding as 'play money' - we didn't have that luxury. We used it to help buy things for our home.

I don't think it's wrong for people to use money from their wedding on their honeymoon - I just was never aware that this was common practice until the last year or two, and I was shocked. I have received thank you cards telling me 'thanks for the check you gave us! It helped us eat out on our honeymoon!' And I was a little :svengo: ... I don't see that as being any of the above things that you mentioned about me. ;)

So, yeah, I'd just prefer that if money is given, it be used for things that are actually necessary and useful, even if it is just decorative items for their home or whatever. It just seems a lot nicer than me paying for them to eat out... Sorry if that means I'm all those things you seem to think I am... :confused:

[Carol in Cal.]

This is the part I don't get. Why is it rude? Who decided that? People give gifts at weddings. That isn't a secret.

 

At one point, wasn't it considered inappropriate for a woman to go out without gloves? Social norms change. Making a gift suggestion for an event where social norms dictate that you are to bring a gift is just practical.

 

You know what I think is rude? You get an invitation to the wedding of two 20-year-olds who don't have two nickles to rub together. You buy them a crystal ice bucket or a silver platter. I've been married almost 13 years and that $)(*% ice bucket is still sitting in the box in a closet.

 

Asking for gifts for yourself is always rude. It is also a contradiction in terms.

 

It's fine to ask for gifts for someone else, particularly someone who is not a member of your own family. So, for instance, sometime this spring I will host a small bridal shower for a dear friend's oldest daughter, also a dear friend. Probably I will title it with a theme, like 'cookbook shower' or 'gadget shower' or something like that. When people call to RSVP, I will tell them where the bride and groom are registered, as part of the conversation. But I would not do that for my daughter.

 

Sending a wedding invitation and then responding informatively to the follow up question, "Are you registered?" is the right way to handle this. The registry can include a tasteful statement about making a fresh start by retiring school debts being the most helpful present that the bride and groom can envision, but that they recognize and appreciate the immense creativity of their friends and family, and would not want to bind them in any way except to come to the wedding and be part of this, the most important joint celebration of their young lives.

[Julie Smith]

Funny cash wedding gift story.

 

A friend of the family had a big, HUGE, wedding.

 

The reception was a catered event, but something happened. I can't remember what since I was just a kid. But they needed to pay the caters in cash - or they weren't going to let the bridal party leave.

 

So the whole wedding table had to dig through all the cards looking for cash.

[Carol in Cal.]

:iagree:

 

And *technically* you're not supposed to bring gifts to the actual wedding, but send them after. Nobody does that anymore though.

 

Nope, technically you're supposed to send them before, to the bride's parents' house, where she supposedly is living. But bringing them to the wedding is not rude. Giving presents is never rude. Asking for them for onesself, however, is always rude.

[Amy1k]

Ugh. I'm just not really a fan of large weddings. I prefer only receiving invitations from people who I know well enough to know what they really need/want without them pointing it out to me. Does that make sense? And I personally would never want someone to feel badly if, for whatever reason, they were unable to bring a gift for me. Honestly, I feel uncomfortable with accepting gifts anyway. I don't like people to feel like it's required. When I invite people it's for their company, not their gifts.

[Ellesmere]

Aren't we in a place in our society where it is okay to expect a gift at certain occasions?? Does anyone go to a wedding without a gift??

Well, I think it is rather expected at a bridal or baby shower to bring a gift. I wouldn't have blinked if someone came without a gift to mine, but just came to celebrate the occasion. But I always thought the point of a shower has become to shower the person with gifts.

 

But yes, people do go to weddings without gifts. For ours, we had a family member that was really struggling financially. Another was not able to give. Had they been closer to us, maybe they would have found something, but they didn't. Someone else came that we didn't know (it was a courtesy invite to someone only my parents knew) and didn't give us anything. We didn't think it was rude. We were glad they celebrated with us. And, just IMO, no gift from a couple of guests was better than an obviously used, stained non-sentimental item. :D

 

Back to the OP, yes, I would find it to be tacky in a wedding invitation.

[Bluegoat]

Well, I think it is rather expected at a bridal or baby shower to bring a gift. I wouldn't have blinked if someone came without a gift to mine, but just came to celebrate the occasion. But I always thought the point of a shower has become to shower the person with gifts.

 

 

Yes, I think that is the point. I have to say though that a few showers I have been to made me really uncomfortable because they seemed to be so gift-focused.

[Greta]

okay. i actually would not bring a gift to an engagement party. that is a celebration/announcement only. gifts will come from their registry for their showers and wedding. at least IME this has been the case.

 

The proper etiquette is that you do not have to bring a gift for an engagement party. If you attend a shower or wedding, the proper etiquette is to bring a gift.

 

Okay, thanks ladies! I've never actually been invited to an engagement party myself. They aren't common around here, or at least not in my circle of friends/family. But as I mentioned, a friend of mine did get an invitation to an engagement party which included a very specific demand, er I mean request, for a gift. So while I knew *that* was not proper etiquette, I didn't know if etiquette called for a gift generally speaking.

[5kidsforME]

I'm pretty old fashioned - when I received money for graduation, it was from older aunts and uncles and it included things like, 'Was thinking you could use this to buy a new blanket for your dorm room!' and the like. Then, when we got married, it never even occurred to me to use any money given to us at our wedding as 'play money' - we didn't have that luxury. We used it to help buy things for our home.

I don't think it's wrong for people to use money from their wedding on their honeymoon - I just was never aware that this was common practice until the last year or two, and I was shocked. I have received thank you cards telling me 'thanks for the check you gave us! It helped us eat out on our honeymoon!' And I was a little :svengo: ... I don't see that as being any of the above things that you mentioned about me. ;)

So, yeah, I'd just prefer that if money is given, it be used for things that are actually necessary and useful, even if it is just decorative items for their home or whatever. It just seems a lot nicer than me paying for them to eat out... Sorry if that means I'm all those things you seem to think I am... :confused:

 

gift

 

   /gɪft/ [/url]Show Spelled[gift] Show IPA

noun 1. something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present.

 

2. the act of giving.

 

3. something bestowed or acquired without any particular effort by the recipient or without its being earned: Those extra points he got in the game were a total gift.

 

 

 

 

 

A gift is something given without any expectations. You are putting expectations on your gift. You are assuming that them using the money for a meal out is less righteous than them buying an item for their home.

 

I get it. I fell into that trap too. I got married around the same time as a friend of mine. I was trying to find something on her registry to buy her and asked her why she was registered for King size sheets. (At the time IMO 22yo mind king size beds were for old people! lol We have one so that cracks me up.) She said "oh well i figure if I register for king size sheets I can return them and get the money for them! Did you see how expensive they are???" :001_huh: I was appalled. She was playing the registery game. I thought it was so deceitful and wrong. I had registered for things I only needed, I was worried we would not have what we need.

 

I used to look at people's registerys and seriously judge them. I mean what 20 year old couple that plans to live in a studio apartment needs a 20 piece crystal and china service? how in the world will they possibly feed 20 people in their apartment? Why in the world did all of my cousins and their future spouses register for footballs, basketballs, movies, etc? Don't these dumb kids know better?

 

I stopped giving gifts and started giving cash. The amount that we could afford. No judging, no expectations, no being aghast at their registeries.

 

My dh and I used the cash that we got for our wedding on our honeymoon. We worked hard to pay for our part of the wedding, I even paid for one of my bridesmaids dress, undergarments, shoes etc. We both had good jobs and no debt. Growing up neither of us went on big vacations, dh's aunt let us use her time share in Orlando. We went to Disney for 2 days and Seaworld. We went out to eat a few times for dinner.

 

Yes we used the cash money (not the checks) from our wedding gifts. We had a blast!! I remember more about our honeymoon (;) not just what you all are thinking) then most of the gifts we got. Not to say those gifts weren't appreciated and well loved and used. BUT I will never forget the fun times we had that week using the money that people gave us. That was special and i am grateful for all those people that gave us some of their hard earned money.

 

What a shame to think that some people would be :svengo: over the fact that we used it on something as "frivolous" as disney tickets and dinner.

[dansamy]

A gift is something given without any expectations. You are putting expectations on your gift. You are assuming that them using the money for a meal out is less righteous than them buying an item for their home.

 

.................

 

I used to look at people's registerys and seriously judge them. I mean what 20 year old couple that plans to live in a studio apartment needs a 20 piece crystal and china service? how in the world will they possibly feed 20 people in their apartment?

 

Because that 20 year old couple will one day graduate college and move into the career phase of their lives when they will buy a home and host parties and dinners. They won't live in that tiny apartment forever. They won't be 20 forever. The china/silver/crystal that you buy them now will follow them throughout their lives and may even be passed down to a daughter or granddaughter.

[5kidsforME]

Because that 20 year old couple will one day graduate college and move into the career phase of their lives when they will buy a home and host parties and dinners. They won't live in that tiny apartment forever. They won't be 20 forever. The china/silver/crystal that you buy them now will follow them throughout their lives and may even be passed down to a daughter or granddaughter.

 

That wasn't my point. I obviously was not clear. My point is, that people can register for whatever they ding dang want to. We all have an opinion on it one way or another. I found myself falling in the trap of judging them. I have learned for dh and I at least, it works out better to give money. They can do whatever they want with it!

 

FTR, what you said about the china/crystal being used in that way is beautiful!! It just doesn't always work out that way. Seemed silly to me to be sitting on card board boxes and eating off of paper plates, BUT we got our silver/crystal/china!!! AND therein lies the problem, we all are coming from different starting points and perspectives. I can tell you that my sil thinks that all the china etc she got for her wedding is really just wasted, because they are not who they were when they got married. Her china just sits collecting dust. Someone else I know LOOOVES her china a uses it and is so glad she registered for it.

[PeacefulChaos]

gift

 

   /gɪft/ [/url]Show Spelled[gift] Show IPA

noun 1. something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present.

 

2. the act of giving.

 

3. something bestowed or acquired without any particular effort by the recipient or without its being earned: Those extra points he got in the game were a total gift.

 

 

 

 

 

A gift is something given without any expectations. You are putting expectations on your gift. You are assuming that them using the money for a meal out is less righteous than them buying an item for their home.

 

I get it. I fell into that trap too. I got married around the same time as a friend of mine. I was trying to find something on her registry to buy her and asked her why she was registered for King size sheets. (At the time IMO 22yo mind king size beds were for old people! lol We have one so that cracks me up.) She said "oh well i figure if I register for king size sheets I can return them and get the money for them! Did you see how expensive they are???" :001_huh: I was appalled. She was playing the registery game. I thought it was so deceitful and wrong. I had registered for things I only needed, I was worried we would not have what we need.

 

I used to look at people's registerys and seriously judge them. I mean what 20 year old couple that plans to live in a studio apartment needs a 20 piece crystal and china service? how in the world will they possibly feed 20 people in their apartment? Why in the world did all of my cousins and their future spouses register for footballs, basketballs, movies, etc? Don't these dumb kids know better?

 

I stopped giving gifts and started giving cash. The amount that we could afford. No judging, no expectations, no being aghast at their registeries.

 

My dh and I used the cash that we got for our wedding on our honeymoon. We worked hard to pay for our part of the wedding, I even paid for one of my bridesmaids dress, undergarments, shoes etc. We both had good jobs and no debt. Growing up neither of us went on big vacations, dh's aunt let us use her time share in Orlando. We went to Disney for 2 days and Seaworld. We went out to eat a few times for dinner.

 

Yes we used the cash money (not the checks) from our wedding gifts. We had a blast!! I remember more about our honeymoon (;) not just what you all are thinking) then most of the gifts we got. Not to say those gifts weren't appreciated and well loved and used. BUT I will never forget the fun times we had that week using the money that people gave us. That was special and i am grateful for all those people that gave us some of their hard earned money.

 

What a shame to think that some people would be :svengo: over the fact that we used it on something as "frivolous" as disney tickets and dinner.

 

I don't have any problem with registries. I will happily buy anything on a registry. I think you are judging me here, tbh. Just because I choose to give people gifts one way and you disapprove? I don't need to be lectured. I'm not trying to sway anyone to my opinion.

I'm sorry that you find me childish and rude. I don't think I have spoken that way at all.

I know that nowadays, some people are waiting later and later to get married, therefore they aren't in need of as much when they get married - pantry staples, stuff for the home, etc. I'd still rather buy them something if it was something new for the home - lets say they had sheets that were fine, but registered for new ones because, hey, why not? First of all, it isn't my business why people register for what they register for. And I would happily buy them new sheets for their new marriage.

Most people aren't going to remember dinner at Outback one of the nights of their honeymoon. They used the money that way, fine. But it is up to me how I choose to spend my money. I haven't ever said anything to them and I don't think badly of them for eating out - and I'm not upset that they used it to eat out. I just find myself thinking I would rather do something nicer for them that has more staying power. I would prefer to just buy them something off their registry or, if all else failed, give them a gift card for something. It wasn't a thought of 'I can't believe they did that! How horrible!' but a thought of 'Wow, I didn't even realize people did that... maybe in the future I should think about getting a gift, because I don't really know if that's what I wanted my gift to them to mean.'

Sorry that this rubs you in such an offensive way. :confused: Honestly, I don't see why the way I think (which is actually not all that unusual where I come from) is so repulsive to you.

[5kidsforME]

I don't have any problem with registries. I will happily buy anything on a registry. I think you are judging me here, tbh. Just because I choose to give people gifts one way and you disapprove? I don't need to be lectured. I'm not trying to sway anyone to my opinion.

I'm sorry that you find me childish and rude. I don't think I have spoken that way at all.

I know that nowadays, some people are waiting later and later to get married, therefore they aren't in need of as much when they get married - pantry staples, stuff for the home, etc. I'd still rather buy them something if it was something new for the home - lets say they had sheets that were fine, but registered for new ones because, hey, why not? First of all, it isn't my business why people register for what they register for. And I would happily buy them new sheets for their new marriage.

Most people aren't going to remember dinner at Outback one of the nights of their honeymoon. They used the money that way, fine. But it is up to me how I choose to spend my money. I haven't ever said anything to them and I don't think badly of them for eating out - and I'm not upset that they used it to eat out. I just find myself thinking I would rather do something nicer for them that has more staying power. I would prefer to just buy them something off their registry or, if all else failed, give them a gift card for something. It wasn't a thought of 'I can't believe they did that! How horrible!' but a thought of 'Wow, I didn't even realize people did that... maybe in the future I should think about getting a gift, because I don't really know if that's what I wanted my gift to them to mean.'

Sorry that this rubs you in such an offensive way. :confused: Honestly, I don't see why the way I think (which is actually not all that unusual where I come from) is so repulsive to you.

 

 

:confused::confused::confused:

 

Wow, I don't disapprove of people buying from the registery. I am sorry you took it that way. I think it is childish for anyone to have expectations on the gifts they give, be it a tangible item or money. Myself included! I am stating for me, I have found it better to give cash, becuase I know it's something people can use on anything and I don't have to look at their registery because it is a STUMBLING BLOCK for me.

 

I was pointing out that for me and dh using cash that was given at our wedding made our honeymoon all the more special. We were able to do things, eat out, etc. that we would not have been able to do.

 

All I am saying to the people that think their cash is supposed to be used more usefully, think about it a little more.

 

Was it even you that said that they hated finding out that cash was used for money so they will never give cash for a wedding again?? I don't think it was.

 

Did I even quote you intitially? I think you are blowing this way out of proportion and at this point I have waaaaaaaaay over explained myself. :001_huh:

[I talk to the trees]

Hmmm....(wheels turning)... to those of you who don't find asking for money inappropriate: Consider yourselves invited to dh's and my 15th wedding anniversary party! Oh, and please bring cash instead of a gift. We're trying to pay off dh's DMA! ;)

 

I'm joking, of course. I'm firmly in the "tacky" camp!

[funschooler5]

Funny cash wedding gift story.

 

A friend of the family had a big, HUGE, wedding.

 

The reception was a catered event, but something happened. I can't remember what since I was just a kid. But they needed to pay the caters in cash - or they weren't going to let the bridal party leave.

 

So the whole wedding table had to dig through all the cards looking for cash.

 

 

Ooh, that reminds me of something else that happened at the wedding I mentioned earlier (the one with the money poem invitation and the paid bride dances). Later on during the reception, apparently they ran out of liquor. One of the groom's friends went around and tried to collect cash from all of the guests so they could go buy some more! I thought the 85 yr old lady at our table was going to pass out! She was so spitting mad that when DH started to reach for his wallet, she put her hand on his arm and said, "Don't you dare!" :lol: Needless to say, the guy didn't get any money from our table. :lol:

[dansamy]

That wasn't my point. I obviously was not clear. My point is, that people can register for whatever they ding dang want to. We all have an opinion on it one way or another. I found myself falling in the trap of judging them. I have learned for dh and I at least, it works out better to give money. They can do whatever they want with it!

 

FTR, what you said about the china/crystal being used in that way is beautiful!! It just doesn't always work out that way. Seemed silly to me to be sitting on card board boxes and eating off of paper plates, BUT we got our silver/crystal/china!!! AND therein lies the problem, we all are coming from different starting points and perspectives. I can tell you that my sil thinks that all the china etc she got for her wedding is really just wasted, because they are not who they were when they got married. Her china just sits collecting dust. Someone else I know LOOOVES her china a uses it and is so glad she registered for it.

I get what you're saying. Personally, I didn't register for china/silver/crystal because I'm pretty antisocial. I knew hosting a casual BBQ would be even a stretch for me, much less a formal dinner.