? for those that sent their children to PS after only homeschooling.

[1GirlTwinBoys]

My kids will be 3rd and 4th graders next year and I need to make some major decisions. They've ALWAYS been home with me, no daycare etc... I just don't feel that I can keep up with it all. I'm home all the time, but it's beginning to overwhelm me trying to keep up with the house, cooking, cleaning, our business paperwork, and homeschooling.

 

We live in an area that has some of the best PS in the state, but I'm more worried about the influence of others. I've just worked so hard to help them be courteous, kind, and polite. They seem so innocent and I'm worried about how that will change if they start school. I'm sure that I'm being overprotective but I just can't help it. I would LOVE to keep them home but I just don't feel that I can give them enough. I didn't get a very good education as a child, so I feel like I'm having to learn right along with them.:001_huh:

 

DH has made some suggestions like hiring a housekeeper, bringing an "in home tutor", co-op, but I just don't know which direction to go. I want to be more hands off with the schooling but am scared.

 

Any advice from others that have BTDT? I just broke down crying the other night to DH and I'm not one to do that easily. Just feeling overwhelmed like everyone on here does at times.:) I just can't imagine my babies not with me 24/7.;)

[MSNative]

My kids will be 3rd and 4th graders next year and I need to make some major decisions. They've ALWAYS been home with me, no daycare etc... I just don't feel that I can keep up with it all. I'm home all the time, but it's beginning to overwhelm me trying to keep up with the house, cooking, cleaning, our business paperwork, and homeschooling.

 

We live in an area that has some of the best PS in the state, but I'm more worried about the influence of others. I've just worked so hard to help them be courteous, kind, and polite. They seem so innocent and I'm worried about how that will change if they start school. I'm sure that I'm being overprotective but I just can't help it. I would LOVE to keep them home but I just don't feel that I can give them enough. I didn't get a very good education as a child, so I feel like I'm having to learn right along with them.:001_huh:

 

 

DH has made some suggestions like hiring a housekeeper, bringing an "in home tutor", co-op, but I just don't know which direction to go. I want to be more hands off with the schooling but am scared.

 

Any advice from others that have BTDT? I just broke down crying the other night to DH and I'm not one to do that easily. Just feeling overwhelmed like everyone on here does at times.:) I just can't imagine my babies not with me 24/7.;)

 

:grouphug: First of all - it's February. Everything seems worse in February. :)

 

What are your long term goals for your kids' education? What precisely in overwhelming you? Maybe if you write it all down, you'll be able to come to a more clear answer of what to do.

[Night Elf]

I didn't get a very good education as a child, so I feel like I'm having to learn right along with them.:001_huh:

 

This can be a good thing. Learning alongside my children keeps things interesting. I think it has been helpful as well because I don't come across as a know-it-all but have been showing that learning is not a horrible chore but a lifelong endeavor.

 

DH has made some suggestions like hiring a housekeeper, bringing an "in home tutor", co-op, but I just don't know which direction to go. I want to be more hands off with the schooling but am scared.

 

Just from this, it sounds like you really don't want to homeschool. You want to be hands off? Do you think it's the way you're homeschooling, the type of curriculum materials you've chosen? Some methods just plain don't work for some families. For example, I tried following the WTM method three times and flopped each time. I finally learned that my family truly did better with a traditional type of textbook education. It freaks out some homeschoolers but hey, my kids can use textbooks at school or textbooks at home. Home has definitely been a better choice.

 

Any advice from others that have BTDT? I just broke down crying the other night to DH and I'm not one to do that easily. Just feeling overwhelmed like everyone on here does at times.:) I just can't imagine my babies not with me 24/7.;)

 

What areas overwhelm you the most? Just homeschooling? I would love the idea of a housekeeper as the housework was always my biggest obstacle in my day. How about that business paperwork? Can someone else do that and take that responsibility off of your shoulders? Can you find a different way of cooking meals, like preparing things on the weekend and freezing for later in the week? Or spending time preparing things and putting them in containers so that when it's time to cook it's almost done already? An example is pizza. We use onions, bell pepper, cheese and chicken or roast beef. What takes the longest is cutting and shredding. If I precut the veggies and shred the cheese, then dinner time is a snap because I just open the containers, spread the food on the pizza and toss it into the oven.

 

But putting your children into school isn't the end of the world. You can stay involved with them and they will still be influenced by you.

[WTMCassandra]

I agree that the business paperwork is what probably needs to go, not homeschooling. And then if there's enough money after outsourcing that, I would take your DH up on the housekeeper if I were you ; ). I would at least try these things before making decisions that affect the children so much like going to PS for the first time.

 

And I also agree with the "Don't make big decisions about HSing in February" camp.

[SailorMom]

:grouphug:

Hands off is not going to happen with the ages of your kids.... that comes along MUCH later :)

 

I remember when mine were just a year or two older than yours, and I was absolutely buried. DS was deployed, I had had knee surgery, I was trying to be a CubMaster for a Scout Pack, the house was a disaster, my younger son was having to go to occupational and speech therapy all week, so we were having a hard time getting school done. Ug - it was a bad year. I'm glad we stuck with homeschooling, though :)

 

Take your DH up on the housekeeper. Twice a month to come in and do the deep cleaning would be a huge help. At your kids' age, most people who homeschool have dealt with the messy house problems. There just isn't enough time. I told my DH that he could have a clean house, or homeschooled kids. I kept it from being gross, but it was never where I would have liked it to be....

 

As for the business paperwork, is it possible to sit with your kids wherever they are, get them started on a lesson, and do paper work sitting with them so that you can answer questions as they come up? If not - your DH needs to deal with the paperwork.

 

I think many people have no idea just how much work it is to home school. I notice one of yours is a 3rd grader, and to me this was when the school work load really got tough. Before that, it was mostly fun :) From 3rd to 6th I think were toughest for me, because the work load is high, but the ability to work independently just isn't there yet :)

 

As for learning along with them - even those of us who did have a good education don't remember everything we learned! I have, constantly, had to re-learn most of what I taught my kids. A lot of it I have looked at cross-eyed and thought, "I have never seen this before!"

 

If you do want to home school, really do, then you CAN make it work. Don't worry - we've all been where you are.... more than one. :grouphug:

[Denisemomof4]

When my RAD kid burnt me out, I put all my kids in school. I will regret that always. My dd's will NEVER have that option after seeing what my boys went through. Our experience was NOT good. My oldest is such a generous and loving spirit, kind and accepting of everyone. He learned just how ugly people are.

 

If I can't do it all, I will outsource. RADish does online school, and I plan to outsource a subject or two for dd12 next year. I'm not overwhelmed like you are, but I am just really getting tired of homeschooling. I've been doing it now for 14 years. I'm making changes so that I will be able to continue on without burning out. I also want to have the energy to do a thing or two for myself so I am freeing up some more time to do so.:001_smile:

[tutor!]

Please do not doubt yourself. As a former high school English teacher, I am STILL learning MUCH as I homeschool my own son. Unfortunately, my Masters in Education left me with nothing to teach. (I am, however, a great classroom manager!) Homeschooling can be overwhelming at times, but please do not make the decision to quit and assume that teaching certification has anything to do with the ability to transfer academic content. Trust in yourself. You want more for your own kids than any teacher ever will.

[iquilt]

I agree with the other comments about February. It is absolutely the toughest month for us every single year, no matter what I do to try and fix it. I have a relatively independent 5th grader but still the 2nd and 1st who require every ounce of me and by February I'm ready to ship them off on the next school bus. While that may be your choice, I agree with not deciding anything now. Make a list, make lots of lists, pick something that you can change today that will help. Hire thee a housekeeper! A couple years ago I told my dh that if we really wanted well educated children I needed some help and I had a housekeeper the next day. Every other week and they clean everything. It's just great to not have that on my plate anymore. I also have learned to take a week off in February and it's coming up soon. I get to attend a quilt show and DH and the kids get almost a week together without me. It's my once a year recharge. No talk of homeschooling, curricula, etc. It also means we school on a more year round schedule but more frequent breaks have really helped out.

[Kertie]

I didn't get a very good education as a child, so I feel like I'm having to learn right along with them.:001_huh:

 

 

Please cross this one off your list of things to feel overwhelmed about:001_smile:. There's nothing wrong with learning along with your children. "I don't know--let's find out!" isn't a bad thing to say to your kids!:D There's a lot more available to h's'ers than there was 20 years ago--lots of ways to ease your load. Co-ops, DVDs--here, the YMCA has PE, the parks dept. has Science...lots of stuff out there (which might be its own kind of overwhelming!).

 

I went to decent public schools, had some great teachers (and some bad ones), and have a BA and MEd from private universities. I've been learning a LOT with my kids--everything from facts about the sun to tons from SOTW. Look at it this way--it's a lot less boring to deal with new info than it is to go over and over info you already know:).

 

I agree with others that February isn't the best time to make decisions about next year.

 

I also suggest that you jump on your dh's offer of a housekeeper:lol:.

 

:grouphug: I definitely know what it's like to feel overwhelmed!

[magnificent_baby]

I am sorry you are feeling overwhelmed. I did too a few months ago when we first began hs'ing and almost threw in the towel. I ditched the curriculum I initially ordered, and started fresh. A lot of it is "workbooky" but I am okay with that.

Please hang in there! :grouphug:

[gardenmom5]

:grouphug:

I'm currently setting up to send 3ds to school starting next week. but he has aspergers, and has more needs than I can possibly meet. He qualifies for a contained program classroom that currently has six little boys ranging from k - 3, and four adults. (one adult is a student teacher - so normally, there are three adults). The curriculum is very individualized and they work at their own pace. Lots of one-on-one. I could have sent him to the resource room for half-day, but it really would have been even more disruptive for him. I found out the bus will come to my house to take him to the school.

 

Since I'm also working with a DAN! for him, it will give me time to explore all the gluten free options and baking. (and she want's him dairy free and egg free. oh. joy.) His supplements most definitely make an improvement in his functioning. I needed that reminder after he'd been off everything for 2 1/2 months last fall for evaluations.

 

It is emotionally hard to send him after wanting to hs. I'm keeping the option on the table for the future and will be after-schooling. My olders went to ps, so just talk to them about what they are doing every day, pass on your values. develop a good realtionship with their teachers and school staff.

Edited February 10, 2012 by gardenmom5

[Zebra]

I am always ready to throw in the towel this time of year! :lol: I am so blessed because DH remembers this EVERY YEAR and always talks me off the ledge!!!

 

What I would really sit down and think about is which of the things that you have to do (homeschool, paperwork, cleaning etc) do you dislike the most? Do you really dislike homeschooling, or is it just because you have too much else to do?

 

I know that I was in a situation a few years ago where I had FAR too much on my plate. Someone in my life had a genuine need, but it just go to the point where I literally either had to stop homeschooling or fill this need. After much thought, I realized homeschooling was what needed to stay. And now that things are more in balance, the difference has been dramatic. My DH and BF have both told me how I rarely complain about homeschooling anymore. It's not like I jump out of bed every morning whistling (:lol::lol::lol:) but I don't feel like I am going to pull my hair out anymore.

 

If you can outsource something, definitely sit down and figure out what would be best for your family.

[ktgrok]

Would it help to have a more preplanned curriculum, so you can just open and go, and read whatever it says to read? Or use an online charter school (not my first choice) or DVD school? I'd look at how to make it easier to keep them home, and find a way to stop doing the paperwork for the business if possible.

[bnrmom]

My kids went to ps last year after having been only homeschooled -4th and 1st grade. They did not pick up any long lasting rude behaviors. They are still the sweet, considerate, fun loving kids they always were. I have met a lot of really wonderful kids who have been in school their entire lives. I have a lot of issues with our educational system, believe me, but I don't think it turns kids into monsters. I went to school my whole life and I'm a pretty nice person. :) And for what it's worth, I've met some horribly rude homeschooled kids. So I would take that off the list of things to worry about. It's really more about parenting than where the kids are educated.

 

I wouldn't worry about your own education making you capable of homeschooling or not. I've never found that to be an issue.

 

Feeling burn out is totally valid. I would have a housekeeper in a heartbeat if we could afford it. We just decided to bring in a private tutor (split with one other child) for writing for my older son. This was the one issue keeping me up at night, and even though we haven't even started with them yet, just the thought of this being taken care of is enough to make me wake up in the morning excited to homeschool my kids.

 

But in the end, you have to be honest about what you really want to do. I am a huge advocate of homeschooling. Love love love being with my kids all day. The lifestyle is so far superior to the school lifestyle, I can't even begin to compare. But I will admit, I really struggle with the whole "being different" thing. I grew up with "different" parents, and all I ever wanted was to be normal. Especially now that my older son is moving into junior high, I am really feeling the pull to join the mainstream and ease the burden of feeling 100% responsible for this alternative path we've taken.

 

What I realized last year is that there is no right or wrong decision. You decide to take one path, you follow that for awhile, and then if you feel like making a left turn, you turn left and follow that path for awhile. The great thing to realize is you have so many choices, so many great options, and total freedom to pick and choose as you wish. When I am able to think of it this way, rather than the doom and gloom "what if" of every possible scenario, I find it much easier to make my decision.

 

It's all good. You are a loving, attentive, tuned in parent, and whatever decision you make, your kids are going to do great, because you are going to be there to address any issues that come up.

[1GirlTwinBoys]

:grouphug: I did come back throughout the day and read your responses but have been too emotional to respond.

 

The business paperwork is not so much that I would need to have someone else do it. I'm busy with it more now just because getting the files ready for the new year and getting caught up on reconciling. I got really behind with it because we moved out of town 5 months ago. I think putting my house up for sale by owner and handling that process, and moving a family of 5 was overwhelming. Then my DD started 3rd grade this school year and that was a big adjustment. I really enjoy teaching k-2, but now not so much. We have done really good all year with staying on track with math and English, but I've really done horrible at getting anything else done. Now I'm worried they're behind.:confused: I just don't enjoy teaching and trying to figure out how to get inside their heads. Sometimes I just want to be mom and nothing more. In my perfect world, I would pay someone to come in and teach them, or send them to a small cottage school for homeschoolers.:confused: We're new to the area and I really haven't had an opportunity to find out much of what's going on here within the homeschool community.

 

Thanks you for taking the time to reply and give the input that y'all have. I really appreciate just getting a chance to finally type my feelings out.:crying:

Edited February 11, 2012 by 1GirlTwinBoys

[Mommy22alyns]

It's February. Everything's crazy in February.

 

Nothing's wrong with learning alongside your kids. Right? I mean, I do it... plenty of other moms do it. We have access to SO many opportunities; it's not as hard as it used to be.

 

Your husband is offering help. Let him. ;)

 

Really, I felt a little strung out a few weeks ago too. I bet it will pass.

[Celia]

You've been going through a lot. Big hugs to you. A move is such a major stress, and stress takes the joy out of things. I don't think it would hurt to try ps, it might work out great for you and the kids. If it doesn't, it's not like you can't bring them home, right?