Online or Christian school? I'm over whelmed and failing

[mumkins]

I need some advice. I have 5 children- 10, 8, 6, 3 an 6 months. They are not recieving the education I hoped for. We use heart of dakota. I get all the reading done but the older kids don't get much of thier work done. I LOVE it and want to use it all the way. But it's just not getting done. They don't retain the English well. I like it but maybe it's not the best choice at this time. My 6 in Dec is 1st grade and won't even try to write a sentence. Not even 3 words under a drawing.

 

So school work never gets finished, my kids fight all the time, my house is never clean enough, the laundry is usually washed and dried but not folded. I feel like I'm divided too many ways. Love may not divide, but time does.

 

IDK if I should try something independent like BJU DE or just throw in the towel and send them to Christian school.

[Ellie]

I need some advice. I have 5 children- 10, 8, 6, 3 an 6 months. They are not recieving the education I hoped for. We use heart of dakota. I get all the reading done but the older kids don't get much of thier work done. I LOVE it and want to use it all the way. But it's just not getting done. They don't retain the English well. I like it but maybe it's not the best choice at this time. My 6 in Dec is 1st grade and won't even try to write a sentence. Not even 3 words under a drawing.

 

So school work never gets finished, my kids fight all the time, my house is never clean enough, the laundry is usually washed and dried but not folded. I feel like I'm divided too many ways. Love may not divide, but time does.

 

IDK if I should try something independent like BJU DE or just throw in the towel and send them to Christian school.

:grouphug:

 

Well, the answer doesn't need to be sending them back to school. The answer would be to do something other than HOD.

 

And you don't have to buy a box of books from BJUP or sign up for online school, either. There is a middle ground. :)

 

Get something for math and English skills and do those. Work on daily homekeeping. Watch an occasional educational video. Look at stuff other than HOD.

[LisaKinVA]

I feel like you...often. I have a 12b, 10g, 8b, 5g and 3g. It is tiring. We haven't finished packing and moving stuff, let alone unpacking everything that's here... I'm behind with the laundry... school days can be wonky... and there are times I just want to pull the covers over my head and stay in bed, eating chocolate chip cookie dough.

 

However, sending them to school all day would be difficult for many reasons as well (mainly, it would require me to drive 1.5 hours twice a day... not to mention the expense of school itself).

 

I have no experience with HOD... but there are many great curriculums that just are great for everyone. I have to do a hodge-podge.

 

Here is what I do (excluding my 12yo :D)

 

10yo and 8yo are combined for the following: MCT Island level, VP Self-paced online history, Apologia Science, Spelling (my 8yo is very advanced in spelling), Bible, and Latin

 

10yo and 8yo have their own: Math (math Mammoth), FLL/WWE, Literature and Penmanship.

 

For the most part, they can do Math, penmanship, history, Science and Spelling on their own... with only a little input and direction/assistance from me. Latin is an on-line class...so only some input/oversight from me. My 10g is VERY self-motivated, and stays on top of things really well.

 

When they have more independent work, I work with the 5yo on Phonics, Math and Penmanship. These are the *only* formal subjects I do with the 5yo. She does participate with history and science as much as she wishes. I do nothing formal with the 3yo.

 

When I don't have to be working with the 5yo, I will make lunch, bread, yogurt, run a load of laundry... whatever. We do take a break after math to clean up breakfast... and another break at 2:30 to clean up and get ready for dinner and evening activities. Everyone has to help...it cannot be just me (even with the laundry).

 

Since we went to something like this...that can be done more independently with me hovering but not leading in every subject life became much more sane. My house is still messier than I'd like, but it's tolerable most days. There are still lots of projects to get done...but it's better. I could never have gone with a program that required me to read aloud all the time... I would fall asleep reading (seriously...) So, if I were you, I would find a combination of on-line classes and things that could be grouped before going to DVD "school" or sending them off somewhere.

[jayb842]

Have you looked at Calvert? It's planned for you. It has a check list for every day. My going off track 3rd grader does it in about 4-5 hours most days. It's a very complete curriculum. There is a 30% sale going on now.

[Carol in Cal.]

I have a good friend who homeschools very effectively, and has successfully raised 4 boys.

 

She prioritized her attention for the younger children on reading acquisition, math facts, and enrichment experiences--things like science experiment classes, music lessons, drama, and a math tutor that emphasized numbers sense. She read to them a lot, including Hakim US history as well as a lot of novels and other fiction. They participated in one or two one day per week coops emphasizing various things--social studies unit studies, nature awareness, or mythology, to name a few. They were also in Junior Great Books and art coops that she generally did not teach. So this way she was freed up quite a bit for the older kids.

 

She prioritized her 'real homeschooling' intensiveness on the 7th and 8th grade for each child individually. She would teach social studies very intensively, with literature and history and geography mixed in. Via this she would teach study skills, organization, essay writing, and literature. Math would continue, and 8th grade would complete algebra without fail. Science would become more sophisticated either at home or via some outside classes, intensively.

 

I don't know whether the kids learned any foreign languages, but they travelled a fair amount each summer.

 

This was a tremendously effective system. All 4 boys went on very successfully to high school.

 

It is tempting to focus on the littles on the assumption that the older kids are more independent, but I suggest that you evaluate the older ones first and see what they need, and then prioritize that for now.

 

In parallel, look at Steward Ship--they have short (4-10 week) unit studies for grades 1-8. You could do one to keep everyone together early in the day, while you are figuring out your next path.

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

I need some advice. I have 5 children- 10, 8, 6, 3 an 6 months. They are not recieving the education I hoped for. We use heart of dakota. I get all the reading done but the older kids don't get much of thier work done. I LOVE it and want to use it all the way. But it's just not getting done. They don't retain the English well. I like it but maybe it's not the best choice at this time. My 6 in Dec is 1st grade and won't even try to write a sentence. Not even 3 words under a drawing.

 

So school work never gets finished, my kids fight all the time, my house is never clean enough, the laundry is usually washed and dried but not folded. I feel like I'm divided too many ways. Love may not divide, but time does.

 

IDK if I should try something independent like BJU DE or just throw in the towel and send them to Christian school.

 

 

I would first off drop HOD. It sounds like although YOU love it, its not what your children learn best from.

 

I would 1st recommend you buy and listen to SWB writing lectures. I would recommend you buy a grammar curriculum that your kids can be combined in (atleast some of them- depending on where they are currently) First Language Lessons and Rod and Staff are good and can be done partially orally.

 

2nd-- History- check out audio. You can get SOTW or Mystery of History in audio and book form. That way you can listen with everybody and have your oldest do their writing from the book (as outlined in SWB audio lectures)

 

Math- I am a new convert to teaching textbooks. Do the placement test and place your kiddos in the appropriate level and you are good to go! It teaches them and grades it and all you do is check their progress via logging in under your parent account. Again- depending on levels- you may even be able to combine them. Thats all based on the placement test though (there are easily found used for less $$)

 

Science-- find a fun program and once again, combine your kids. Add in writing from SWB audio lectures and that will make things more grade appropriate. You can add in additional library books and such as needed/wanted.

 

It can be done. We are in our 4th year homeschooling and we are JUST now getting to a point where things are going nice and smooth and everything is getting done in a timely manner. I was so against combining my kids because they were in different grades but if done appropriately it is a life saver!!

 

Also-- have you heard of a loop schedule?

 

:grouphug: You can do this!!

[silliness7]

I need some advice. I have 5 children- 10, 8, 6, 3 an 6 months. They are not recieving the education I hoped for. We use heart of dakota. I get all the reading done but the older kids don't get much of thier work done. I LOVE it and want to use it all the way. But it's just not getting done. They don't retain the English well. I like it but maybe it's not the best choice at this time. My 6 in Dec is 1st grade and won't even try to write a sentence. Not even 3 words under a drawing.

 

So school work never gets finished, my kids fight all the time, my house is never clean enough, the laundry is usually washed and dried but not folded. I feel like I'm divided too many ways. Love may not divide, but time does.

 

IDK if I should try something independent like BJU DE or just throw in the towel and send them to Christian school.

 

I've been where you are. This fall I got to the place where I wanted desperately to send my children off to school. It really didn't seem like there was any other way. I wanted to pull my hair out and cried many evenings. We were using HOD too. School school really seemed like the only thing left to do. I had come to the end of my rope.

 

But I cannot afford Christian school. No amount of juggling could make that happen. The thought of public school made me sick to my stomach.

Although if that was absolutely necessary, I would do what I had to do.

 

Then in a moment of clarity I decided to just chunk HOD out the window. We are now focusing on the 3 R's. I decided to combine (I hate combining) for history and read alouds. I decided to make science independent and I did not stress about going over it with my elementary ones. Now that we have recentered I feel much more balanced and happy with our school. I just ordered MFW for my 2nd-8th graders and we will take it from there. If it doesn't work. We will go back to our current rhythm. My school is fine how it is, I've decided. If MFW can enhance that, so much the better. If it can't, I'm not throwing in the towel.

 

At this stage in the "grand experiment" I am not going to be concerned with rigor, although I feel pulled by it's siren song. I cannot do it. I have come to terms with that. I still think I can give my kids an exceptional education...better than what they would get in the schooling options open to us. But we won't be well-versed in the Great Books or Latin. Logic and Rhetoric are not courses that will show up on their transcripts.

 

People are more important than agendas. And that's something I had to come to realize. Not saying you have to come to that realization or that anybody else does. Academic achievement had become a sort of idol for me. That's just my journey and is not in *any* way meant to be insight on anyone else's journey.

 

I'm sorry if my post was not helpful and you wanted some more practical how-to's on your school day. Blessings.

[heidip2p]

I've been where you are. This fall I got to the place where I wanted desperately to send my children off to school. It really didn't seem like there was any other way. I wanted to pull my hair out and cried many evenings. We were using HOD too. School school really seemed like the only thing left to do. I had come to the end of my rope.

 

But I cannot afford Christian school. No amount of juggling could make that happen. The thought of public school made me sick to my stomach.

Although if that was absolutely necessary, I would do what I had to do.

 

Then in a moment of clarity I decided to just chunk HOD out the window. We are now focusing on the 3 R's. I decided to combine (I hate combining) for history and read alouds. I decided to make science independent and I did not stress about going over it with my elementary ones. Now that we have recentered I feel much more balanced and happy with our school. I just ordered MFW for my 2nd-8th graders and we will take it from there. If it doesn't work. We will go back to our current rhythm. My school is fine how it is, I've decided. If MFW can enhance that, so much the better. If it can't, I'm not throwing in the towel.

 

At this stage in the "grand experiment" I am not going to be concerned with rigor, although I feel pulled by it's siren song. I cannot do it. I have come to terms with that. I still think I can give my kids an exceptional education...better than what they would get in the schooling options open to us. But we won't be well-versed in the Great Books or Latin. Logic and Rhetoric are not courses that will show up on their transcripts.

 

People are more important than agendas. And that's something I had to come to realize. Not saying you have to come to that realization or that anybody else does. Academic achievement had become a sort of idol for me. That's just my journey and is not in *any* way meant to be insight on anyone else's journey.

 

I'm sorry if my post was not helpful and you wanted some more practical how-to's on your school day. Blessings.

I think this is what I am truly struggling with right now. I want to give them this amazing eduvational experience. Which is great. I just need to redefine what makes it great, My kids loved MUS and were doing really, really well with it. Then I thought they needed more so I switched to CLE. Now we are all losing our minds each day. I am doing this in all areas of school and it is driving me and my family crazy. Just reading your post made me really stop and think. Thank you so much for posting. Not even sure if my reply makes sense as my head has been spinning for days. It just makes me want to....chill out and know it will be alright. :)

[HiddenJewel]

The material might be the issue; however, it sounds like academics need to go to bare minimum until you can figure out what needs to happen for the household to function peacefully. Once you have figured that out, academics will go much easier. At this point, it won't matter what curriculum you change to if accountability and behavior patterns continue as they are.

Edited February 3, 2012 by HiddenJewel

[pehp]

I have a friend with many children who used k12. She supervised school and kept house. Kids all academically very successful--astronomical SAT scores, full scholarships ....it worked for them!

 

I plan to use a similar approach, I will probably look hardest at k12 (not via a ps) , Calvert and Memoria Press.

[cbollin]

My 6 in Dec is 1st grade and won't even try to write a sentence. Not even 3 words under a drawing.

 

 

One piece of advice.... at age 6, it is ok to have the child say a sentence to you instead. yes, writing it down would be nice. But that can wait a year if needed.

 

Let child say those words to you.

You write them down on dry erase

Let child copy those words.

 

That student isn't failing yet. He just needs more time and is normal. Some 6 y.o are still in Kindy.

 

Instead of more time on English, let the children have "school" via chores and have them put the laundry away - it's called "sorting and math skills"

 

I think most of us get messy houses.

 

You could switch out English and still use HOD. Or adjust HOD with less independent work.

 

Not sure what they aren't remembering in English, but it could be normal for the age to not remember it all. Some programs don't start formal parts of speech until later than your children's age. Copywork can be helpful.

 

-crystal

[...................]

I would say its time to simplify.

 

Self instructional 3Rs with AcE

 

Then just read aloud to them for 45 minutes per day and have them do quiet reading for one hour per day from quality books from the library.

 

For Science you can get Kids Discover Mag a d Bill Nye videos, and your oldest can use AcE.

 

HOD looks extremely rigorous to me and also pretty complicated. I have two kids and looking at HOD overwhelms me.

[Homeschooling6]

If you want to continue with HOD, can you use it with just your oldest for now and do only the 3R's with the younger ones?

Not sure which guides you are using but another idea for Beyond or Bigger is to use them loosely. Don't do every single thing. Pick and choose.

Lastly I would write down the sentence for my 1st grader. I do this with my 7.5 yr. old 1st grader.

[prairiewindmomma]

K12 with a house full of younger children = ticket to insanity. Seriously. There is so much fluff you must get through every day that the parent must take the child through individually. Run away! Flee! *If* my children were primarily older and able to self guide their studies and *if* my problem was really scheduling and planning, then I might recommend K12, but only then. K12 has its place, but I don't think putting three kids into K12 is going to be helpful for you.

 

My questions (when I've bumped into this in my own life):

1. Are you having a school problem or a life problem? Life with a number of younger children= more laundry, more dishes, more toys, more diapers, more everything....people are still going to need to eat and have clean clothes to wear, so you've got to find a happy balance.

2. If you think you are having a life problem, would any of these tools work for you? A set menu plan, bulk shopping at Costco, a plan for tackling house cleaning, limiting appointments/interruptions to after lunch, and having all of my materials gathered before the school day starts are all key to life functioning well here.

 

If your older children aren't getting their reading done, why is that? Are they being interrupted by younger kids (in which case structuring the younger kids day might be good)? Are they not working diligently? Are they just getting pushed to the side as life rolls on?

 

Realizing that managing my toddlers has been the key to all happiness and productivity here was a key insight for me. Likewise, I need to have my supper plans in place shortly after breakfast so I know when I must stop schooling.

 

I hope things get easier for you! I would look at simplifying life, simplifying curricula, and getting to a good daily routine...

[MomatHWTK]

I have found that it's easier to teach if I find something that matches both my style and the individual child's style. This isn't always easy. But if you just match the child, you won't want to do the teaching; and if you just match yourself, your child may not learn as well. Try to find some middle ground. And remember, if they learn to read, they can find out anything they want when they are ready. ;)

[SweetandSimple]

:grouphug:

 

What about dropping everything except for math and language arts for a few weeks and trying to get the kids more on board with helping around the house?

 

We've also found a lot of peace now that we've switched to CLE for language arts/reading, and will soon switch to their math as well.

 

Your older kids could work more independently, and CLE is THOROUGH! It might not be right for you, but it does sound as though you might need a different curriculum.

[frankcassiesmom]

Hey it's is me from RGT. I second CLE. It is easy for kids to do on their own, requires very little from you, is not super expensive, is thorough and would be easy for you to implement with your age children. Add in so e read alouds, etc. for enrichment and once life gets back a tad more on track revisit something like OD or MFW.

[Mommyfaithe]

One piece of advice.... at age 6, it is ok to have the child say a sentence to you instead. yes, writing it down would be nice. But that can wait a year if needed.

 

Let child say those words to you.

You write them down on dry erase

Let child copy those words.

 

That student isn't failing yet. He just needs more time and is normal. Some 6 y.o are still in Kindy.

 

Instead of more time on English, let the children have "school" via chores and have them put the laundry away - it's called "sorting and math skills"

 

 

I think most of us get messy houses.

 

You could switch out English and still use HOD. Or adjust HOD with less independent work.

 

Not sure what they aren't remembering in English, but it could be normal for the age to not remember it all. Some programs don't start formal parts of speech until later than your children's age. Copywork can be helpful.

 

-crystal

 

When my kids were little, writing was always hard...reallynphysically hard for them. They would cry real tears...BUT, if I put said child in my lap and wrote a short sentence with a yellow highlighter, then held their hand and traced....then later...after weeks, have them trace alone...then work up to copy work, until they could write it from dictation...it really helped.

 

As far as HOD....TOSS. Focus on one good bible story book, one good history read aloud and the basics...reading, writing & math. I had to ditch CLE for one child because hen was so frustrated. YES, it is a great program.....but not for him.

 

I think it is more important to focus teaching on your oldest...and then skill subjects with your youngers. A little bit each day really goes a long way.

 

Remember....homeschooling is a marathon....not a sprint.

 

Faithe

[jenni33]

I think there are a lot of us moms that can identify with how you are feeling. I have felt that way so many times. So from one mom to another- :grouphug:

 

Sending them to school is probably not the answer, especially if you feel called to homeschooling and want to do it for a number of years.

 

If I were you, I'd take a couple of weeks off. Get your house in order, give your kids a break, tweak your curriculum (or get new!) and come up with some kind of daily schedule. Make sure you also set some boundaries with your kiddos in terms of what's expected with schoolwork, and helping around the house, and what the rewards/consequences are. They can definitely help you out by picking up after themselves and that will probably be half your battle right there.

 

Just pray for God to give you light for this time, direction and wisdom. He does not lead us up to a point and then turn and walk away. He will give you what you need to get through. Just take a deep breath, take a break, and start with one thing at a time.

 

We have all had those times in our lives when we've felt like chucking it all and dropping our kids off at the corner bus stop. BUT, I also know that's not what's best for my kiddos.

 

I recently went through this feeling yet again, and convinced they needed to go to school, I just prayed for wisdom and then came up with a plan. A friend of mine schools year round- 3 weeks on, 1 week off. I think it's fantastic. So fantastic in fact, that I've completely changed our schedule and we're going for it! My kids weren't exactly thrilled, but I'm ready to do it because frankly, I need that free week to de-stress, catch up on housework and have some "me time". Maybe you could re-adjust your schedule a little bit like that? Maybe year round this way, or just 4 days a week, or mornings only. Whatever you come up, do what works best for you.

 

I'm sending prayers up for you because I can so relate. Especially with little ones underfoot. But it's not going to be this way forever. They grow up so fast.

 

Blessings in your journey, and I know you'll figure out the best thing for your family.

[breadnbutter]

:grouphug: I think we've all been there in one form or another. I've struggled with this the past few weeks... but I knew throwing in the towel was not the solution. It was more household management that was the issue, like the PP referred to.

 

And I'm talking to myself here, but make a list of the bare minimum that you want you and your kids to accomplish each day. I've never officially done Managers of Their Homes, but like she suggests, I found it helpful to look at all I need to do in a day, look at my commitments, and see if I what I was trying to do was even realistic with 24 hours.

 

Hang in there!!!

[Kim in SouthGa]

:grouphug: I gave up folding laundry a few years ago. My kids have to do it. I wash and get it in the dryer, then they fold, hang, and put away. Your two oldest could easily do this, and your 6 year old could probably as well-at least the towels that don't need to be neat ;)

Also, one of the best pieces of advice I ever got from WTM forums was to have the older kids take turns playing with the toddlers/babies to get one on one teaching time with the younger ones. So schedule your 8 year old to play for 30 minutes with the toddler and baby so you can work on phonics and math intensively with the 6 year old. Your 10 year old can be working independently at this time. Then switch and have the 10 year old play with the littles while you work with the 8 year old (maybe take a quick break to give the baby some snuggles and move to playpen, swing, nurse, whatever). Your 10 dd can read to the 3 year old and supervise easy art projects during this time too. I would shoot for having the three R's done by everyone before lunch, then have the afternoons while the little ones nap to read aloud history and science, do science experiments, art, and other things that they need help with.

It has also helped us to have a loose schedule. The kids all have to have their rooms cleaned, dirty laundry in the laundry room, teeth brushed, clothes on, devotion read and be at the kitchen table by 8:30 for family meeting (dh reads Bible and talks to them for a few minutes). They also have other things that have to be done before they have any free time, like folding laundry, unloading dishwasher, emptying trash, exercises, etc. You will be surprised how much your kids can help out, and it is a MUST for homeschooling unless you can afford to hire a full time housekeeper! :D

TT Math is not for everyone, I know, but it has been great to have computerized, self-grading math programs here, at least for two of the kids. FLL is great for English. You will have to do it with them, but the lessons are short and really work on memorizing definitions to help them retain the information. You can read SOTW aloud to everyone, and have the oldest take the tests while the youngest just answers the discussion questions orally and the middle child writes a short narration. Don't be discouraged if your youngest isn't seeming to retain anything, though. It will come with time. My now 11ds rarely ever answered the questions correctly at age 6 or 7, even 8, but now answers them all and writes his narrations beautifully. I have newly discovered and absolutely LOVE the elementary Apologia science books! You could read this aloud and have the oldest keep a notebook, do questions orally with the 8 year old, and just let the 6 year old listen in and help with the projects. Let Dad read the Bible in the morning or evening as a family. That hits all the basics. I always wanted my kids to do more (projects, art, etc), but reality usually kept us from it. ;) Also a 4 day week might help. You can then catch up on all the house stuff and run errands on the other day.

I would really encourage you not to give up, especially if you feel the Lord has called you to do this. You are in a very difficult phase of life right now, but it is not impossible. My house still always seems a mess to me. With six people in one house it is inevitable-if everyone just leaves one or two things laying about, it's cluttered! I make tacos and spaghetti way too often because it is so easy and mindless to prepare. We are going to spend most of the day today catching up on laundry. But as I am preparing to send my oldest off to college in a couple of years, I can honestly say that I have no regrets. Every single second has been worth it. It has not always been pretty and it has never been perfect, but I cannot imagine life any other way. :grouphug:

[TheAutumnOak]

I think there are a lot of us moms that can identify with how you are feeling. I have felt that way so many times. So from one mom to another- :grouphug:

 

Sending them to school is probably not the answer, especially if you feel called to homeschooling and want to do it for a number of years.

 

If I were you, I'd take a couple of weeks off. Get your house in order, give your kids a break, tweak your curriculum (or get new!) and come up with some kind of daily schedule. Make sure you also set some boundaries with your kiddos in terms of what's expected with schoolwork, and helping around the house, and what the rewards/consequences are. They can definitely help you out by picking up after themselves and that will probably be half your battle right there.

 

Just pray for God to give you light for this time, direction and wisdom. He does not lead us up to a point and then turn and walk away. He will give you what you need to get through. Just take a deep breath, take a break, and start with one thing at a time.

 

We have all had those times in our lives when we've felt like chucking it all and dropping our kids off at the corner bus stop. BUT, I also know that's not what's best for my kiddos.

 

I recently went through this feeling yet again, and convinced they needed to go to school, I just prayed for wisdom and then came up with a plan. A friend of mine schools year round- 3 weeks on, 1 week off. I think it's fantastic. So fantastic in fact, that I've completely changed our schedule and we're going for it! My kids weren't exactly thrilled, but I'm ready to do it because frankly, I need that free week to de-stress, catch up on housework and have some "me time". Maybe you could re-adjust your schedule a little bit like that? Maybe year round this way, or just 4 days a week, or mornings only. Whatever you come up, do what works best for you.

 

I'm sending prayers up for you because I can so relate. Especially with little ones underfoot. But it's not going to be this way forever. They grow up so fast.

 

Blessings in your journey, and I know you'll figure out the best thing for your family.

 

:iagree: I could have written almost all of this post...

:grouphug: You are not alone...Homeschooling is a tough job and most of us question whether or not we are doing the right thing...I would follow the advice written above...